In Texas, years ago, almost all of the oil came from surface operations. Then someone got the idea that there were greater sources of supply deeper down. A well was drilled five thousand feet deep. The result? A gusher. Too many of us operate on the surface. We never go deep enough to find supernatural resources. The result is, we never operate at our best. More time and investment is involved to go deep but a gusher will pay off.Alfred A. Montapert
- Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.
- Preface to The Norman Conquests (New York: Grove Press,  1988) p. 11.
- There are very few people on top of life, and the rest of us don't like them very much.
- A comedy is just a tragedy interrupted, I once said. Do you finish with the kiss or when she opens her eyes to tell him she loves him and sees blonde hairs on his collar?
- "A Crash Course in Playwriting" (1993) 
- The darker the subject, the more light you must try to shed on the matter. And vice versa.
- The Crafty Art of Playwriting (New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2003) p. 3.
- Plays by Alan Ayckbourn have been attracting larger audiences in the regional theatres than those of Shakespeare.