George Mikes

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George Mikes (19121987) was a Hungarian-born British author, best known for his humorous commentaries on various countries and their citizens.


How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and More Advanced Pupils (1946)

  • On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.
  • Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.
  • An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
  • The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labour bore fruit.

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