Jane Ace

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Love is swift, sincere, pious, joyful, generous, strong, patient, faithful, prudent, long-suffering, courageous, and never seeking its own; for wheresoever a person seeketh his own, there he falleth from love.
Thomas γ Kempis
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Jane Ace née Epstein, (October 12, 1897November 11, 1974) was the high-voiced, malaprop-mastering wife on legendary, low-keyed American radio comedy Easy Aces (1930-45). Playing herself opposite her real-life husband and the show's creator-writer, Goodman Ace (1899-1982), she sent a truckload of clever malaprops over the air in each episode of the urbane serial comedy, and many became part of the American vernacular.


  • Time wounds all heels.
  • Home wasn't built in a day.
  • Congress is back in season.
  • You could have knocked me down with a fender.
  • Up at the crank of dawn.
  • Now, there's no use crying over spoiled milk.
  • I'm completely uninhabited.
  • Seems like only a year ago they were married nine years!
  • I am his awfully-wedded wife.
  • I've always wanted to see my name up in tights.
  • He blew up higher than a hall.
  • I look like the wrath of grapes.
  • I wasn't under the impersonation you meant me.
  • He shot out of here like a bat out of a belfry.
  • He has me sitting on pins and cushions waiting.
  • The coffee will be ready in a jitney.
  • This hangnail expression . . .
  • I'm a member of the weeper sex.
  • I don't drink, I'm a totalitarian.
  • Well, you've got to take the bitter with the better.
  • I'm a ragged individualist.

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