Josie and the Pussycats

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Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Josie and the Pussycats is a Saturday morning cartoon created by William Hanna & Joseph Barbera, and aired on the Columbia Broadcasting System in 1970. It is based upon the Archie Comic of the same name, which had been adapted into a comedy film .

Josie James

  • That's a gas filling station, not a feeling filling station.
  • There they are, going through that sliding door.
  • (reading) 'Golden Mist Cologne'. Mmm, my favorite.
  • We'll be gold-plated Pussycats, unless someone thinks of something fast.

Valerie Brown

  • Look out for those rocks!
  • Welcome aboard, Alexandra.
  • Wow! We're landing in the Grand Canyon.
  • Whoops! Wrong channel. That's not my favorite program, either.
  • Wow! So that's what it does.

Melody Valentine

  • Hey. May I borrow that sleep gun when it's time for my afternoon nap?
  • Oh, goody!
  • Groovy...I think.
  • I know! Let's hide in the shower.
  • Gee, there sure are a lot of tumbleweeds down here in New York.

Alexander Cabot III

  • That's no way to treat like guests.
  • (repeated line) Help!
  • Be careful with that sleep gun.
  • Yikes! The floor's moving.
  • (whispering) Psst. Gang, I found the conveyor belt to the storeroom.
  • It looks like our plan wasn't at all that it was "quacked" up to be.

Alexandra Cabot

  • How would you like a suitase sombrero, you good-for-nothing feline?
  • One of these days, I'm gonna put a zipper on your lip.
  • What's this all about? I demand an explanation!
  • I did it so I could bounce Josie away from Alan.
  • Almost is not good enough!
  • Are you beanbags trying to escape, or take inventory?
  • This will make me even more alluring to Alan.

Alan M. Mayberry

  • You mean, the real one?
  • (repeated line) Let's split.
  • We gotta find a way out of this hilltop hacienda.
  • We're lucky there are no guards around.
  • Whew! We got away from those slumber-happy guards.


Midas: You are intruders.
Melody Valentine: Oh! No, sir. We're Pussycats. I'm Melody, and this is Josie. And--
Midas: SILENCE! You are intruders, and must be disposed of!
Alexander Cabot III: Disposed of? (gulps in fear) That's no way to treat like guests.
Midas: You are not my guests. You are my prisoners! Try to leave, and my guards will use their sleep guns.
Alexandra Cabot: What's this all about? I demand an explanation!
Midas: In my laboratory, I have perfected a blue microbe mist that has the capability to seek out and destroy all the gold in the world.
Josie James: So what good will that do you?
Midas: I'm telling you, my curious friends. Unless I am given half of the gold in the world, I shall destroy all the gold in the world.
Alan M. Mayberry: Okay. Now that we know what you're gonna do with the gold, what are you gonna do with all of us?
Midas: You will soon find out. (wicked laughter)

(upon eating an extremely hot taco after Sebastian put extra hot sauce on the wrong one)
Alexandra Cabot: Yow! Help!! Water!!! Help!!!
Alan M. Mayberry: Hey, what's wrong with Alexandra?
Josie James: She looks burned up about something.
Alexandra Cabot: Don't just stand there. Somebody get a pitcher of water!
Melody Valentine: (chuckles) Well, OK. Here's your picture of water. (displays calendar with a sailboat at sea) But it's kind of silly if you ask me.
Alexandra Cabot: I won't ask. Believe me!

Josie James: How do we defrost them?
Alexandra Cabot: These must be the controls. I'll switch them back to medium rare.
(pulls lever and frees the others from their frozen confinement)
Alan M. Mayberry: Wow! We just made it. They're almost ice cubes!
(crashing on the floor)
Josie James: Are you all right?
Alexander Cabot III: Oh, swell...Considering I'm a 400-year-old teenager!

(Alan and Josie get some bulls to help the gang against the Scorpion)
Alexander Cabot III: This is help?
Alan M. Mayberry: It was the only thing we could get!
Melody Valentine: Hey, I just love cows.
Alexandra Cabot: So does Alan. Especially red-haired ones! (referring to Josie)

(the gang prepares to deliver themselves to the World Scientist Foundation in a pair of crates)
Alan M. Mayberry: These labels will do the job. Are we all set?
Alexandra Cabot: No! The crates are packed wrongly. (she pulls Alan into the crate with Alexander, Sebastian and herself)
Alan M. Mayberry: HEY!!!
Alexandra Cabot: Now they're packed right! (closes her crate as the girls do the same with theirs)

Josie James: When the Laser opens those crates, we'll be in a real pickle.
Alan M. Mayberry: Then I guess the only way to get out of that pickle is to get into that complex.
Alexander Cabot III: (repeatedly hitting his hands on the ears) I-I-I gotta retune my ears. It sounded like he said Go into that complex.
Alexandra Cabot: He did, chicken brother!

Laser: Strange, I've never heard of Q.U.A.C.K. But you did manage to break into my complex.
Alexander Cabot III: Oh, like this was a real nothing for us super spies. Not like the time we borrowed a secret nuclear sub, of course surrounded by a thousand guards. Or the escapade where we captured the Atlantic Ocean and held it for ransom. Or even...
Alexandra Cabot: (shuts his mouth) Don't overdo it, you loudmouth!
Laser: Very impressive! I insist that you teach us your methods.
Melody Valentine: Oh, goody!
Josie James: Oh, golly! Now we're in a real mess.
Alexandra Cabot: (whispering) One of these days, I'm gonna put a zipper on your lip.
(Alexander gulps in fear)

Alexandra Cabot: You plunger head, get me down from here!
Alexander Cabot III: Now what will I do?
Alan M. Mayberry: Start climbing!
Alexander Cabot III: But when I get up there, she'll clobber me!
Alan M. Mayberry: If you don't, they'll get wise and finish us.
Alexander Cabot III: (climbing the rope) Ooh...Either way I'll lose.

Alexander Cabot III: It looks like out plan wasn't at all that it was "quacked" up to be.
Alexandra Cabot: What are you gonna do with us, Lasy?
Laser: SILENCE! You will find out soon enough.
Assistant: The MS-13 is ready to be tested, Laser.
Laser: Excellent. Soon, I will stop every machine on Earth unless my demands are met. (wicked laughter)
Valerie Brown: Wow! So that's what it does.
Alan M. Mayberry: You mean, the real one? But when he turns that phony one on, it's curtains for us.

(after Alexandra's plan to sabotage Josie backfires causing her to spin on the turntable)
Music Director: Hey! That was a great new sound, kid! Do it again and we'll record it as the "Ooh, Ow, Ooh" song.
Alexandra Cabot: How would you like to record a "Fat Lip" song?
Alexander Cabot III: (clicking his tongue) My sister's big chance to cut a hit record, and she chickens out.
(everyone else laughs while she stands there angrily)