Kung Fu Panda

From Quotes
The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others.
William Lyon Phelps
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Kung Fu Panda is a 2008 animated film about a panda who learns martial arts and then uses this new ability to fight his enemies.

Directed by Mark Osborne and w:John Stevenson. Written by Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger.
Tag line of the movie :Prepare for Awesomeness, Pandamonium Begins


Po

  • Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were the stuff of legend.
  • Get ready to feel the Thunder!
  • Skadoosh!
  • I sucked more than anyone in the history of kung fu — in the history of China — in the history of sucking!
  • Careful that soup is — sharp!
  • Don't tempt me!
  • Legs of Lightning!
  • I LOVE KUNG FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
  • Kung Fu on the loose!
  • I'm not just a big fat panda! I'm THE big fat panda!
  • (Dreaming Po) He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness!
  • (smugly) Oh, you know this hold?
  • (Dreaming Po) Enough talk. Let's fight.
  • (Dreaming Po) There is no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.

Shifu

  • (To Po) When you focus on Kung Fu... when you concentrate... you stink.
  • That flabby panda is not the Dragon Warrior!
  • You have done well, Panda.
  • (talking to Po) I'm not dying, you idiot! Er, Dragon Warrior... I am simply at peace. Finally.
  • Po, you're alive?... Or we're both dead.
  • Do you want to learn Kung fu?
  • Let's begin.
  • (Performing Wuxi Finger Hold) You know what's the hardest part of this? The hardest part, is cleaning up afterwards.
  • Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
  • You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
  • No! Evacuate the valley! You must protect the villagers from Tai Lung's rage.
  • That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...
  • Dragon Warrior- has taken scroll halfway across China by now... You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung. Never. Never...
  • Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones!

Tigress

  • It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months off nothing but the dew of a single ginkgo leaf, and the energy of the universe.
  • Master, please, let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you trained us for!
  • Don't try and stop me! okay,
  • You don't belong here.....
  • Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know.
  • Shifu loved Tai Lung like he'd never loved anyone before. Or since.
  • I thought we could stop him.
  • We've got to get them all out safely. Viper, gather the southern farms. Mantis, the north. Crane, light the way.

Tai Lung

  • I don't want your apology! I want my scroll!
  • So that is his name. Po. Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary.
  • Whatever I did...I did-to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are, Shifu! Tell me! Tell me!
  • You KNEW I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew. But, when Oogway said otherwise...what did you do? What did you do?! Nothing!
  • (When Shifu says it wasn't his fault Tai Lung wasn't chosen) Not your fault?! Who filled my head with dreams?! Who drove me to train until my bones cracked?! Who denied me my DESTINY?!?
  • You can't defeat me! You....you're just a big... fat... panda!
  • (While held under the Wuxi Finger Hold) The Wuxi Finger Hold! (Po says "You know this hold?) You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu never taught you that!
  • (To Zeng) I'm glad Shifu sent you. I was beginning to think I'd been forgotten. Fly back there and tell them the real Dragon Warrior...is coming home.
  • The scroll has given him power! Nooo!

Oogway

  • There is a saying. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.
  • There are no accidents.
  • I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us...
  • The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
  • No. You just need to believe.
  • I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.
  • Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.
  • Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. You are too concerned with what was, and what will be.
  • One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
  • There is no such thing as bad news.
  • ...That is bad news!

Dialogue

(Po had grabbed a piece from a plate Tigress just broke)
Shifu: Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones!
Po: (immediately putting down the plate pieces) Yeah. Excellent!
Shifu: (smiling) Let's get started. (the Furious Five get ready to face Po, with Viper going first)
Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born ready-- (Viper punches Po repeatedly with her tail, making him somersault in the air, then land on his head)
Viper: I'm sorry, brother! I thought you said you were ready!
Po: That was awesome! Let's go again! (Shifu snaps his fingers, and Monkey takes his bamboo staff and hits Po with it; Po looks around in distraction and is hit on the head with the bamboo staff; next, Po faces Crane on the tilting jade bowl, only to lose balance and fall in; Shifu snaps his fingers soon after that, and Mantis proceeds to throw Po down repeatedly; Po, seemingly unnerved, salutes.)
Shifu: (frustrated at Po's refusal to quit) I've been taking it easy on you, panda, but no more! Your next opponent will be me.
Po: (excitedly) All right, let's go! (The Furious Five exchange uneasy looks)
Shifu: Step forth! (Po is about to step forward, but Shifu immediately picks him up and spins him around several times before finally throwing him down) The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness, and make him suffer for it! (pulls the fur on Po's head)
Po: Ohh-ho-ho, yeah!
Shifu: To take his strength and use it against him, (kicks Po repeatedly, then pounces on him) until he finally falls, or quits! (holds Po's nose in one hand)
Po: (voice has a nasal quality) But a real warrior never quits! Don't worry, master, I will never quit! (Shifu angrily gives Po a flying kick out the training hall courtyard doorway, making Po bounce down the steps of the Jade Palace; the Furious Five watch from afar)
Tigress: If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.
Monkey: But he will. (in a "you'll see" tone; Tigress walks away)
Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he? (in amazement)
Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I can tell you that. (chuckles)
Viper: (Hisses threateningly at Mantis, who stops laughing)

[first lines]
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

(Shifu is sitting just outside the palace, playing a flute. The Furious Five suddenly jump at him from behind. Shifu deflects their attacks with his flute)
Shifu: (catches his flute in midair) Well done students...if you were trying to disappoint me! (points at each of the Five, who are bowing respectfully) Tigress, you need more ferocity! Monkey, greater speed! Crane, height! Viper, subtlety. Mantis...
Messenger Goose: Master Shifu!
Shifu:(Points his flute to the goose angrily) What?

(During Po's dream sequence)
Wolf Bandit: He's too awesome!
Female Bystander: And attractive!
Bar owner: How can we repay you?
Dream Po: There is no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.

[The Furious Five walk to the bunkhouse for some rest]
Viper: I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed!
Crane: (mocking Po's recignition) He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior! Fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!
Mantis: When he walks, the very ground shakes! (The Furious Five laugh.)
Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey: (quietly) Or even see his toes. (Everyone laughs)

Oogway: There are no accidents.
Shifu: [Sighs] Yes, I know. You said that already. Twice.
Oogway: Well, that was no accident either.
Shifu: Thrice.

Po: Lets just start at zero; Level Zero.
Shifu: Oh, no. There is no such thing as Level Zero.
Po: Hey! Maybe I can start on that! (Walks over to the punching bag-like object)
Shifu: That? We use that for training children and propping the door open when it's hot! But, if you insist...
Po: (Sees the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions) Oh, the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except for you Mantis, you're about the same. (Mantis gives Po a mad glare as one of his antennae twitches)
Shifu: Go ahead, panda. Show us what you can do.
Po: (uneasily) Uh, are they (the Furious Five) gonna watch, or should I just wait until they go back to their own thing, or something?
Shifu: (impatiently) Hit it.
Po: (stalling) Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as...later on.
Shifu: Just hit it.
Po: Eh...okay... (looks over at the training dummy) What'cha got, buddy? You got nothing, I got it right here. You pickin' on my friends? (quickly shuffles his feet) Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin' at you with the crazy feet. Watcha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen bear style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style, or snake-style?
Shifu: (annoyed by Po's antics) Would you hit it?!
Po: (stops) Right....(Taps it, making it wobble)
Shifu: Why don't you try again? A little harder?
Po: (Hits it harder, making it lean back a lot) How's tha-- (is hit back by it, loses a tooth, and is sent flying into the moving ropes and swinging pendulums. The Five are about to march over, and get him out, but are ordered not to by Shifu's hand. Po accidentally does a split while trying to balance on the moving ropes) Oh, that hurts! (A pendulum object swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times)
Shifu: (Very amused) This'll be easier than I thought.
Po: (Crane's tilting bowl tips over and pushes Po out) Feeling a little nauseous...(Runs to the moving arm guard section, where it sets off a chain reaction that causes one to hit him in the groin) Ooooo-hoo-hoo! My tenders...(Slowly starts to move, activating the arms again and smacking him into the fire floor area.) Uh oh...(The camera pans back to Shifu and the Furious Five, and we hear the fire activate and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt and charred) How did I do?
Shifu: There is now a Level Zero. (Puts out a flame on top of Po's head)

(Commander Vachir's last attempt at keeping Tai Lung trapped in the Chor Ghom Prison has failed)
Zeng: Can we run now?
Commander Vachir: (Losing all of his nerve, and confidence) Yes.

(Shifu is about to give Po the Dragon Scroll)
Shifu: Behold, the Dragon Scroll. (Holds it up to Po) It is yours.
Po: (Anxiously) Wait... what happens when I read it?
Shifu: No one knows, but legend says that you will be able to hear a butterfly's heart beat.
Po: (Excitedly) Whoa, really?! That's cool!
Shifu: Yes, and see light in the deepest cave. (Po's excitement erupts) You will feel the universe in motion around you.
Po: Wow! (Does a few punches) Can I punch through walls? Can I do a quadruple back flip?
Shifu: (Annoyed, but patiently) Focus.
Po: Will I have invi--
Shifu: (Interrupts, trying to remain patient) Focus.
Po: Huh?
Shifu: Focus.
Po: (Now becoming serious) Oh yeah, yeah.
Shifu: (Confidently) Read it, Po, and fulfill your destiny. Read it, and become the Dragon Warrior.
Po: (Excitedly, again) Woah! (Accepts the scroll, but can't seem to open it) It's impossible to open. (Tries to open it with his mouth) C'mon baby, c'mon now!
Shifu: (Gestures to let him open it. Po hands it to him. Shifu easily opens it with a pop, and then hands it back to Po)
Po: (Sheepishly) Thank you. (Lower tone) I probably loosened it up for you though. (Pushes the scroll out of the container) Ok, here goes... (Slowly opens it, with a golden glow shining from it. Po opens it fully, then starts screaming for a while. Then he gets a good look at the scroll.) It's blank!
Shifu: (Shocked) What?!
Po: (Shows him the blank side) Here, look.
Shifu: (Turns away) No! I am forbidden to look upo... (Gives into temptation, and looks at the blank side. He tries folding and unfolding it several times. He finally drops it in disappointment) ... Blank. I don't--I don't understand."
Po: Okay, so, like, Oogway was just a crazy old turtle after all.
Shifu: No, Oogway was wiser than us all.
Po: (Not convinced) Oh come on! Face it, he picked me by accident! Of course I'm not the Dragon Warrior! (Sits down) Who am I kidding?
Tigress: But who will stop Tai Lung?
Crane: He'll destroy everything, and everyone.
Shifu: No! (Hands Po the scroll) Evacuate the valley! You must protect the villagers from Tai Lung's rage!
Tigress: What about you master?
Shifu: I will fight him.
Po: What?!
Shifu: I can hold him off long enough... for everyone to escape.
Po: (Concerned) But Shifu... he'll kill you!
Shifu: (Acceptingly) Then I will finally have paid for my mistake... Listen to me, all of you. It is time for you to continue your journey without me... I am very proud to have been your master. (Everyone bows respectfully to him, then reluctantly leaves.)

(Shifu walks in to see Po in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboard and is currently eating its contents)
Po: (Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu looks around the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po's still got food in his hand) ...What? (angrily now) I eat when I'm upset, okay?
Shifu: (Getting inspiration) Oh, there's no need to explain. I just thought you might be Monkey. He hides his almond cookies on the top shelf. (Pretends to walk off and leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit of scuffling. When he looks in, Po is ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and is currently shoveling Monkey's almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realization, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu)
Po: (with cookies in his mouth) ...Don't tell Monkey...
Shifu: (in astonishment) Look at you.
Po: I know, I disgust you.
Shifu: No, no, I mean, how did you get up there?
Po: (taking a few more cookies) I don't know. I just- I don't know. I was getting a cookie.
Shifu: And yet, you are ten feet off the ground, and have done a perfect split.
Po: No. This is just an... (shelf begins to creak under his weight) ...accident... (the shelf breaks; Po falls to the floor)
Shifu: (smiles, as a cookie rolls to him) There are no accidents. Come with me.

(Shifu is trying to meditate)
Shifu: Inner peace, inner peace...(stammers a little) Inner peace...(one of his ears turns to the side, hearing a flapping noise; shouts over his shoulder) Would whoever is making that flapping sound quiet down! (resumes meditating, but one of his ears twitch) Inner.... (Zeng falls into the room with a quack. Shifu groans and turns around. He smiles a little) Ah, Zeng. Excellent. I could use some good news right now.
Zeng: (Pauses nervously.) Uhhh...

(Po is making dinner for The Furious Five)
Po: So I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"
Crane: Really? So how'd you get out of there alive?
Po: I mean, I didn't actually say that... but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind he woulda been like "What?" Order up. (passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five) Think you'll like it? (watches patiently)
Mantis: This is really good!
Po: (sitting down) Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
Viper: What are you talking about? This is amazing!
Crane: You're a really good cook! (Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new)
Mantis: I wish my mouth was bigger!
Monkey: Tigress, you've got to try this.
Tigress: Hmmm. (picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles) It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: (The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again) I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'mma need a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice. (he slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers) What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing...Master Shifu. (everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle)
Po (impersonating Master Shifu): You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. (The Furious Five, except Tigress, laugh) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday you will have ears like mine! (he brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five immediately stop laughing, with shocked expressions) Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good...
Monkey (whispering): It's Shifu!
Po: Of course it's Shifu, who do you think I'm doing? (Monkey points frantically to the door. Po looks and sees Shifu.)
Po: Oh, Master Shifu! Uh.... (slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he has on a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, giggle.)
Shifu: (angrily) You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!

(Mantis is giving Po acupuncture)
Po: I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better!
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...uh...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at--Oww! (sticks his finger in his mouth)

(Tai Lung is severely battered after being belly-bumped by Po and crashing through the ground like in many a classic cartoon)
Tai Lung: (weakly) You...can't defeat me! You....you're just a big... fat... panda! (Po pinches his finger)
Po: I'm not a big, fat panda, I'm the big, fat panda. (he lifts up his pinky finger)
Tai Lung: (gasps) The Wuxi Finger Hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!
Po: Nope. I figured it out. (Po then flexes his pinky finger, with Tai Lung's eyes widening in a "uh-oh" stare) Ska-doosh!

Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu. (Indicates the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom) I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.
Shifu: But there are things we can control! (Slams a fist into the tree, making several peaches fall) I can control when the fruit will fall! (A peach then hits him on the head, unnerving him, then he catches a peach, cuts it in half, takes the pit and slams it into the ground) And I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can - if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it, to believe in it. (covers the seed with dirt, thus beginning its growth)

(Po and Shifu are in the mountains after days of intensive training; Shifu picks up his chopsticks)
Shifu: (pointing to the bowl of dumplings) After you, panda.
Po: Wait, just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
Po: (Suspiciously sits down, cautiously picks up his chopsticks, then picks up a dumpling from the bowl, with a "are you sure?" kind of look)
Shifu: (smiling) Enjoy. (Po smiles and raises the dumpling to his mouth, only to have it snatched away by Shifu who quickly eats it)
Po: Hey!
Shifu: (after eating) I said you are free to eat. Have a dumpling. (Po reaches for another dumpling, only to have this one kicked in the air by Shifu)
Po: Hey! (Shifu catches the dumpling with his chopsticks and eats it, making Po scowl in a "Now you're gonna get it" look.)
Shifu: You are free to eat!
Po: (challenging Shifu) Am I?!
Shifu: Are you?! (Chopstick battle begins; Po finally manages to catch the last dumpling, but instead of eating it he throws it in Shifu's hand. Shifu gives him a surprised look)
Po: I'm not hungry.... (Shifu pauses for a second, then tosses the dumpling over his shoulder, smiling) Master. (Po and Shifu bow respectfully to each other)

(Po and Shifu are returning to the Jade Palace after an afternoon of training. Though Po is carrying a heavy backpack, there is a light spring in his step as he walks beside Shifu)
Shifu: You have done well, panda.
Po: Done well? Done well? Ha! I've done awesome! (swings his belly around and knocks Shifu off-balance. Shifu grimaces a little, but manages to maintain composure)
Shifu: The mark of a true hero is humility. But yes, you have done... (playfully punches his fist into Po's side, making Po hold it in pain) ...awesome. (Po regains composure, and he and Shifu chuckle, pointing fingers at each other)

Shifu: Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda! (With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died)
Tigress: Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, then realizes he's not there] Where'd he go? [cut to where Po is running down the stairs, screaming, only to be stopped by Shifu] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me! [tries to run down the stairs, but Shifu uses Oogway's staff to turn Po around] Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! [pokes Po in his stomach]
Po: Ow! You don't believe that! [Shifu swipes at his hand with the staff] Ooh! You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me! [Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master... as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. [Finally gets up, with a hurt tone in his voice] I stayed because every time you threw a brick on my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than I did every day of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me, could make me... not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How?... How?... How?!?
Shifu: I don't know!! [sighs] I don't know...
Po: [sighs and frowns sadly] That's what I thought.

Tigress: Shifu loved Tai Lung like he never loved anyone before...or since. (a flashback shows Tigress as a young child; Shifu just sighs depressingly at her and walks away) And now he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior, and he stuck with you. (indicating Po) A big, fat panda who treats it like a joke (Po suddenly makes a weird facial expression at the end of Tigress' lecture) Oh, that is it! [about to punch him]
Mantis: Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve! [Po falls over with his back full of needles] ...And may have also stopped his heart. (Softly taps him, wondering if he's still alive)

(Shifu is waiting at the top steps of the Jade Palace for Tai Lung to arrive, and thus, begin their final battle. A dark, raging storm gathers in the sky. Shifu merely blinks, and upon opening his eyes, sees Tai Lung standing before him)
Tai Lung: I have come home, Master.
Shifu: This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master.
Tai Lung: Oh,yes, you have a new favorite. So where is this... Po? (chuckles) Did I scare him off?
Shifu: This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung: (Turns his back slightly) So... that is how it's going be?
Shifu: That is how it must be! (Stands on guard, ready to face his former pupil)

Tai Lung (leaning on the bridge): Where's the Dragon Warrior?
Tigress: How do you know you're not looking at her? (Tai Lung laughs)
Tai Lung: You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you! (the Furious Five, the rest of whom are holding up the ropes of the bridge) I heard how he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen.
Monkey: Po?
Tai Lung: So that is his name. Po. Finally! A worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary! (Angry for still not being called the Dragon Warrior, Tigress attacks.)

Po (in awe): No! The legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army! [pauses before whispering] Hello?
Shifu: (Off screen) Have you finished sight-seeing? [Po gasps]
Po:(Thinks the urn is talking to him) Sorry, I should've come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.
Po: Oh, well, I mean, it's not like you were going anywhere.
Shifu: Would you turn around?
Po: Sure. [Turns to the left a bit] Hey, how's it going? Now how do you get five thousand-(suddenly realizes who he is talking to) Master Shifu! (accidentally knocks over the urn) Oh! (Urn breaks and green smoke comes out. Po looks sheepishly to Master Shifu) Someone...broke that. (Shifu just stares at him.) But I'm gonna fix it. Do you have any glue, or....(tries to move the pieces together and the stand falls on his head. Shifu rolls his eyes.) Ow! Splinter.
Shifu: So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior, hmmm? (smiles tightly)
Po: Uh, I guess so?
Shifu: (angrily) Wrong! You are not the Dragon Warrior, you will never be the Dragon Warrior until you have found the secret of the Dragon Scroll! (points at the ceiling to a golden dragon, holding the scroll)
Po: Whoa. So, how does this work? Do you have a ladder or a trampoline?
Shifu: (chuckles) You think it's that easy, that I'm just gonna hand you the secret to limitless power?
Po: No, I...
Shifu: (walks towards Po) One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! (smacks Po's backside) This fat butt, and these flabby arms...(hits Po's arm; Po holds it in pain)
Po: Those are sensitive in the flabby parts...(Shifu whacks Po's side)
Shifu: And this ridiculous belly! (smacks him there; Po steps off the side and pushes the broken urn pieces away with his foot) And utter disregard for personal hygiene.
Po: (rather insulted) Now, wait a minute! That's a little uncalled for!
Shifu: (turning away from Po) Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath.
Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was the--(Shifu simply pinches Po's finger; Po gasps in horror) The Wuxi Finger Hold! No, not the Wuxi Finger Hold!
Shifu: (smiling slyly) Ohh-ho-ho, you know this hold?
Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the Third Dynasty, yes! (nods quickly)
Shifu: (raises his hand a little) Oh, then you must also know what happens when I flex my pinky.
Po: (gasps) No, no, no...
Shifu: You know what the hardest part of this move is? The hardest part, (whispers slightly) is cleaning up afterwards. (chuckles)
Po: Okay! Okay, take it easy. (kneels down on the floor)
Shifu: Now, listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you, I promise, you're going to wish he hadn't! (squints threatingly) Are we clear?
Po: Oh, yeah, we're clear, we're clear, we are so clear!
Shifu: (rather satisfied) Good. (chuckles) I can't wait to get started. (lets Po's finger go)

[In Po's dream sequence]

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew on my fist!

Shifu: Master, master! I have... it- it's very bad news!!
Oogway: Ah, Shifu. There is just news- there is no good or bad.
Shifu: Master, your vision- your vision was right! Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way! (pause)
Oogway: (for a moment loses composure) That is bad news. (then straightens himself) If you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.

Po: Sorry, Dad.
Mr. Ping: "Sorry" doesn't make the noodles, son.

Oogway: [walking towards Po] I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth; talks as all the peaches fall out of his mouth] Oh! Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I thought it was just a regular peach tree!
Oogway: [Chuckles] And I see that you eat when you're upset.
Po: (doubtfully) Upset? I'm not upset, why should I be upset?
Oogway: (Not fooled one bit) So why are you upset?
Po: (sighs sadly) I sucked today. I probably sucked more than anyone in the history of China, in the history of kung fu....in the history of sucking!

Po: [After defeating Tai Lung, he is now checking Shifu, whom he finds unconscious] Master! Shifu, Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: (coughs) Po. You're alive. Or we're both dead.
Po: No, Master, I didn't die... I defeated Tai Lung!
Shifu: You did? (Po nods and smiles. Shifu sighs.) Wow...It is just as Oogway...foretold... You are the Dragon Warrior. (Po's smile disappears) You have brought peace... to this valley... And... and to me... Thank you...(sighs again) Thank you... Po... Thank you... Thank you... [Slowly lays his head down, as if dead]
Po:(looks disbelievingly at his master) No! Master! No, no, no! Don't die, Shifu! Please!
Shifu (wakes up angrily): I'm not dying, you idiot! (suddenly realizes what he just said) Ah, Dragon Warrior... (relaxes and folds his hands over his chest) I am simply at peace... Finally.
Po: Ohhh... So I should stop talking?
Shifu (nodding his head, smiling): If you can.
Po: (lays down beside Shifu, folding his hands over his belly. After a few seconds he turns to Shifu) You wanna get something to eat?
Shifu: (sighs and turns to Po) Yeah.

(Shifu is sitting near the edge of a pool when Po catches up with him, breathless)

Po: (gasping for air) You...drag me...(takes off his backpack) all the way out here...(kneels by the pool, dipping his hand in the water) ...for a bath? (pats his armpit with his hand)
Shifu: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears. (Po stops)
Po: (realizing where he is, shaking his hand off) The Pool of-- (Shifu gets up and stands beside Po)
Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birthplace of kung fu. (Po claps a hand over his chest in awe; a short flashback shows Oogway, jumping onto a rock and performing amazing kung fu moves. After the flashback, Shifu skillfully hops upon a rock; Po is in complete awe)
Shifu: (to Po) Do you want to learn kung fu?
Po: Yeah.
Shifu: Then I AM your master!
Po: Okay! (chokes up, about to cry)
Shifu: (looking down at Po) Don't cry.
Po: Okay. (sniffles and wipes his nose)

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink. [Po's excited face falls] But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you... is with this. [pulls out a bowl of dumplings]
Po: Oh great, 'cause I'm hungry! (hungrily reaches for the bowl)
Shifu: [laughs and pulls the bowl away] Good. (takes out his chopsticks) When you have been trained, you may eat. (eats a dumpling from the bowl) Let's begin.

Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can. If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it, to believe in it.
Shifu: But how? How?! I need your help, Master.
Oogway: No. You just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
Shifu: I...I will...try.
Oogway: Good. (Looks around at the peach tree petals floating around him.) My time has come. (Hands Shifu his staff.) You must continue your journey, without me.
Shifu: Wha-What are you? What? (watches his master leave and realizes what's happening.) Master! You can't leave me!
Oogway: (starts to disappear in the petals floating around him.) You must....believe.
Shifu: Master! (Oogway disappears, and Shifu stares sadly after him.)

Tai Lung: (Has just realized that the Dragon Scroll is gone.) Where is it?! (Slams Shifu to the floor.)
Shifu: (Trying his best to escape Tai Lung's grip around his neck.) Dragon Warrior- has taken scroll halfway across China by now. You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung. (Tai Lung takes out his claws, ready to kill Shifu) Never! Never..... (Tai Lung snarls, starting to lay down his death blow on his former master.)
Po: Hey! (Tai Lung stops and turns around, with Po standing with the dawn behind him at the entrance....currently panting for breath) Uh. Stairs. Ohhh.
Tai Lung: (upon seeing Po for the first time) Who are you?
Po: (catching his breath) Buddy...I am the Dragon Warrior. (Gasps one last time)
Tai Lung: (disbelievingly) You? (to Shifu as he tosses him to the floor) Him? He's a panda. You're a panda. What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don't tempt me. [Laughs] No, I'm gonna use this. [Holds up the Dragon Scroll] You want it? Come get it.

Taglines

  • Prepare For Awesomeness
  • Prepare for Pandamonium

Cast

External links

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