Mitch Fatel

From Quotes
Happiness is a sunbeam which may pass through a thousand bosoms without losing a particle of its original ray; nay, when it strikes on a kindred heart, like the converged light on a mirror, it reflects itself with redoubled brightness. It is not perfected till it is shared.
Jane Porter
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Mitch Fatel (born 1975) is a stand-up comedian in New York. Fatel performs regularly at the famed Comedy Cellar. He has performed on the Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O'Brien and works as a correspondent on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.


Miniskirts & Muffins (2004)

  • Sometimes when I'm eating a blueberry muffin, it's so tasty and delightful, that I think, "Wow, this is better than sex!" And sometimes when I'm having sex I think, "Wow, this is very expensive. I should have just gotten a muffin." Because it's less expensive and you can cut it in half and save some for later. Yes, you can refrigerate your muffins.
    • Muffins
  • Girls love their showers, they spend like twelve hours in there. I know why too, I read in Cosmo. It said that, "Eighty three percent of all women masturbate in the shower." That's wonderful. I can't masturbate in the shower cause my legs give out and then I rip down the shower curtain. And then my Mom gets mad. And I have to go to bed without dinner. I masturbated in the car once. That's a cry for help. I wouldn't do it again, though, 'cause the cab driver got really pissed off. I was like, "I'm sorry sir, all I saw was the non-smoking sign."
    • Girls Love to Shower

Super Retardo (2005)

  • Most guys don't even know this, but if you press the clitoris just the right way, and at the same time, rub the girl's nipple, the theme from Star Wars will play. Yes, that's a fact. That's a fact.
    • Magic Spot

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