There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means—either may do—the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.Benjamin Franklin
- All right I wanna do another one ... I wanna hear a little more Haven in this one.
- When I ask for Pig, I want Pig. Now you get me Pig, and then we'll be ready to record this song.
- You get your haircut. You don't belong in Nashville.
- Shut up, Pearl.
- Y'all take it easy now. This isn't Dallas, it's Nashville! They can't do this to us here in Nashville! Let's show them what we're made of. Come on everybody, sing! Somebody, sing!
Hal Phillip Walker
- Who do you think is running Congress? Farmers? Engineers? Teachers? Businessmen? No, my friends. Congress is run by lawyers. A lawyer is trained for two things and two things only. To clarify – that's one. And to confuse – that's the other. He does whichever is to his client's advantage. Did you ever ask a lawyer the time of day? He told you how to make a watch, didn't he? Ever ask a lawyer how to get to Mr. Jones' house in the country? You got lost, didn't you? Congress is composed of 535 individuals. Two hundred and eighty-eight are lawyers. And you wonder what's wrong in Congress. No wonder we often know how to make a watch, but we don't know the time of day.
- Star: You look like a guy I was in the Navy with. He wouldn't bathe, so we had to pee in his bed to get him discharged.
- Marthe ("L. A. Joan"): Hi, Tom, could you sign my record?
- Tom Frank: You better get off that diet before you ruin yourself.
- Bill: Is this just network or is it, uh ...?
- John Triplette: No, it's better, it's really better than network. It's going to be syndicated, so I mean, hell, they're going to be showing it for a year and a half.
- Wild. Wonderful. Sinful. Laughing. Explosive.
- The Home of Country Music
- The damnedest thing you ever saw!
- Barbara Baxley as Lady Pearl
- Ned Beatty as Delbert Reese
- Karen Black as Connie White
- Ronee Blakley as Barbara Jean
- Timothy Brown as Tommy Brown
- Keith Carradine as Tom Frank
- Geraldine Chaplin as Opal
- Robert DoQui as Wade Cooley
- Shelley Duvall as Marthe (L.A. Joan)
- Allen Garfield as Barnett
- Henry Gibson as Haven Hamilton
- Scott Glenn as Pfc. Glenn Kelly
- Jeff Goldblum as Tricycle Man
- Barbara Harris as Winifred/Albuquerque
- Michael Murphy as John Triplette
- Allan F. Nicholls as Bill
- Dave Peel as Bud Hamilton
- Cristinia Raines as Mary
- Bert Remsen as Star
- Lily Tomlin as Linnea Reese
- Gwen Welles as Sueleen Gay
- Keenan Wynn as Mr. Green