Last modified on 17 October 2008, at 12:48
- Dallas: Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time.
Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the Tyhranoid in your locker, but hey I hear the therapy is going good.
And finally to you Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. I'm sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you love it!
- Dallas: Ratchet has this game on ice ladies and gentlemen. The juice is cold, and the generic-brand X gelatin is definitely jigglin'.
- Vox: Greetings, hero, and welcome to Dreadzone. Rest assured, you are now far out of the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no possibility of escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest holo-vision program the galaxy has ever known. Chances are you'll be dead by tomorrow, but those of you who play the game with skill and strategy will earn a chance to win your freedom.
- Vox[commercial]: IT'S TIME TO BLOW [beep] UP!!!
- Vox[over PA system]: Intense radiation has been detected in the containment area. If you reside next to or near Uranium Man, you will soon die.
- Vox[over PA system]: For everyone to enjoy it, please keep the interplanetary transport as clean as possible. After all, your mother does not work here...oh, except for you, Captain Nightingale.
- Vox: But someone disabled the shields' power supply! [Vox hugs Slugga, with a sad look on his face] Who would do such a horrible thing to the poor people of Stygia? [throws Slugga onto the wall behind him, shows evil grin] I don't know, but it sure makes up for good reality H.V!
- Vox: Stay tuned for the hottest episode of Dreadzone yet. And if you live on Stygia, the last one! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
- Green[While flying a hovership]: Sir, um... I'm seeing parts of this fly off that we, uh, kinda need.
- Green: Zombies, dead ahead! Er, no pun intended sir.
- Merc: Hey Green, that zombie looks like your momma!
- Merc: [on grindrail] I guess this is a bad time to say I'm afraid of heights...
- Merc: Aw, I see an itty bitty turret. Boss, can I blow it up? Pretty please?
- Merc: Hey, Boss. When this is all over, I wanna do it again.
- Merc: Hey, What did you do to that VG9000 I was playing?
Al: I figured we needed space for more useful things. Plus, you were getting too near my high score in Ozaark's Revenge.
- Merc: [after getting to the top of the Valix beacon] It's so bright! It's like a light bulb but so much brighter! Uhhh...I'm not good with words.
- Merc: [voiceover in multiplayer] Gravity boots are our way of saying "Screw you, Nature." You can walk magnetic walls and ceilings, you can even scare your momma. I don't care!
- Merc: Boss, if you miss that swingshot target, you will suffer a horrible, painful death. No pressure, though.
- Merc: One time, I was in this firefight, I took a hit, and my memory circuts got crossed, and I started having flashbacks! I saw my first battle, I saw training, I saw Shore Leave... I saw Shore Leave again, and again! I got it recorded, wanna see it? So anyway, the merc next to me gets his circuts crossed, and now he's seein' mine, and I'm seein' his! I saw his first battle, I saw his training, I saw his Shore Leave... Ooohhhh the horror! The things this joker was into! I tell you, it didn't involve shores, and it sure didn't involve leaves! ...I got it recorded, wanna see it?
- Al: I got them off of a contestant who.... um.... won't be needing them any more.
Merc: Don't worry boss, you won't end up like that last guy.
Green: I hope not.... I still have nightmares about it.
- Ranking Machine: Does it bother you that you are shorter than most heroes?
- Ranking Machine: My circuits can no longer process stats of this magnitude.
- Ranking Machine: I am surprised you are still alive.
- Ranking Machine: If you believe there is an error in your score, please realize you are not that good.
- Ranking Machine: Your heroic presence rattles my friction sensors
- Ranking Machine: Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, it's you Ratchet.
- Ratchet[speech unit turned on]: -et me out of this you blarg-headed frak monkey! I can barely breathe and my tail is shoved right up my- [speech unit turned off]
- Dallas: [after Ratchet activates beacon] Ladies and gentlemen, I am beside myself, and boy do I look good!
- Dallas: See, this is what they mean by gratuitous violence, Juanita. I'm going to call my kids and tell them to stop watching! ...Just as soon as I have kids.
- Juanita: I cant look, is Team Darkstar dead? Dallas...? DALLAS?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Dallas: Nothing, just keep your eyes closed... [slap] OW!
- Dallas: This is more fun than a bus-load of cheerleaders!
- Dallas: They have to traverse what I like to call the pit of endless falling and eventual dieing! Good luck kids.
- Dallas: Ding-dong! The bells are ringing in Ratchet-land!
- Dallas: What I wanna know is, how Ratchet uses the bathroom in that suit
- Dallas: In this challenge, Team Darkstar needs to grind a cable positioned hundreds of feet above the water! Is this even safe? OF COURSE NOT! THIS IS DREADZONE,BABY!
- Dallas: Ratchet is kicking some proverbial butt. By proverbial, I mean.... I don't know what I mean.
Merc: It means were unstoppable.
- Dallas: Oh, this could be disaster for Team Darkstar! I put 500 bolts on this match!
Juanita: Dallas OUR LIVES are AT RISK and YOU'RE GAMBLING??!??
Dallas: Oh Juanita don't act like you care, YOU NEVER CARE!!!!!!!! OOHHH YEAH THERE IT IS. I POPPED A BLOOD VESSEL!!! AGAIN!
- Dallas: And they're gonna be squashed like a pancake... with butter... and jam. Oh no! Say, can I have breakfast for dinner or is that just weird?
- Dallas: And Ratchet is exterminating with extreme prejudice! I'm sure glad we're all out of range, eh, Juanita? Uh... we are out of range, right?
- Dallas: Just a reminder everyone. Tomorrow is kick your best friend in the pants day! Free popcorn for all who participate.
- Dallas: This guy's gonna get us a lot of commercial time, Juanita. Let's just hope we don't have any more wardrobe malfunctions!
- Dallas: Team Darkstar is making their mark in Dreadzone! Team Markstar is making their dark in Redzone! Oh, dear, I've gone cross-eyed...
- Juanita: The mood is... positively... uh, positivly electric, as the audience braces to find out whether they would survive...The next ten minutes."
- Dallas: [In the Dark Cathedril of Kronos]It's cold, it's dank, it's scary it's just like my ex-wife!
- Dallas: Interesting fact folks, DreadZone started over two guys fighting over a breakfast burrito, and the rest is history!
- Dallas: Ratchet's about to bite the bag and step out the door. That means die.
- Dallas: Hey, don't scratch the paint on that Puma. We're giving it away on Bingo night!
- Clank: Excellent work Team Darkstar.
Merc: Ya can't stop a leatherneck, we adapt and survive.
- Dallas: If Ratchet was a tough cookie, what kind of cookie would he be? I'm gonna have to go with "snickerdoodle".
- Dallas: Have you ever wondered what's in the special sauce?
- [Ratchet, Merc, and Green arive on Orxon]
Green: If I may speak freely boss, this place stinks.
- [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
Vox: We'll see you in the re-runs.
- [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
Vox: I love my job, when I don't like someone, I can just do this!
- Dallas: I don't know what you heard, I always believed in Ratchet. [After slandering him for the entire game]