She-Devil is a 1989 film about an awkward and fat mother (Ruth Patchett) who lives in the suburbs with her family. She becomes a monster seeking revenge after her husband (Bob Patchett) abandons her for a romance novelist (Mary Fisher).
- Directed by Susan Seidelman. Written by Barry Strugatz and Mark R. Burns, based on Fay Weldon's novel The Life and Loves of a She-Devil.
Ruth Patchett/Vesta Rose
- Some women are born beautiful. They make it look easy. But most women have to put a little time and effort into their appearance. And then there are those of us who need all the help we can get. Like me.
- Hey, can I have some salt and Perrier? I just spilled my wine on Mary Fisher, you know, the famous author!
- [reading from one of Fisher's novels] "She entwined her limbs about him, as ivy might wrap itself around some massive pillar. When his love nectar was spent, they drifted into the bliss of sleep."
- Mary Fisher, I hope your pink palace crumbles into the sea. I hope your delicate white skin breaks out in hives and your shiny blonde hair falls out at the root!
- Mary Fisher's mother had been enjoying a long, untroubled sleep. It was time to wake her up.
- Sad Mary Fisher. She's learning that men that burn so hot for a mistress cool off fast when the mistress starts acting like a wife.
- I've always found that justice serves those who serve themselves.
- Poor Bob, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
- So it's true people really can change. Of course you can't expect miracles.
- [speaking to Ruth] I don't even think you're a woman! You know what you are? You're a she-devil!
- Because that is the real world, Mary, so wake up and smell the cappuccino!
- It's picture time! [sets Olivia on the Xerox machine]
- Passion. Excitement. I think that it's important in a long-term relationship, and that's what I think women find from my novels. They find ways to make their man feel important and comfortable, to let him know that he is... the man. You know, so there's no confusion.
- All the little families. Mummies and daddies and dear little children tucked away for the night. [begins crying] How lucky they all are!
- Someone get this deranged woman out of here!
- [writing] He held her body as he had for a millennium with an ease neither of them had ever, ever known. He reached for her [pauses trying to think of an appropriate word] ...nub. [she backspaces "nub" and tries again] Love... button!
- Men go crazy when I tell them my name. It's Olivia Honey. They think it's so cute. But it is, isn't it?
- It's like you give men what they want and they don't want it anymore.
- Bob's mother: Is it that time of the month?
- Mrs. Trumper: Nurse Hooper may be short, but she's very devoted.
- Ute: Fuzzy has just shit all over the carpet!
- Garcia: I may be the butler, but I'm not the maid!
- Mrs. Trumper: AHHHH! Hooper! Vesta! This is long-term leakage!
- Ute: I took this job because I only had to cook and clean for one person and one dog. Then I get the mother, the lover, his kids, their dog! Ms. Fisher, up with this bullshit I will not put! I quit!
- Mary Fisher: What is it, exactly, that you do, Mr. Patchett?
- Bob Patchett: I'm a financial consultant.
- Mary Fisher: Really?! I'm absolutely in awe of men who know how to handle money. I can't even balance my own checkbook.
- Bob Patchett: Doesn't your accountant do that for you?
- Mary Fisher: Should he?
- Bob Patchett: The good ones do.
- Bob Patchett: [in awe of Fisher's home] My God, this is fantastic.
- Mary Fisher: You should see my electric bill.
- Bob Patchett: I'd love to!
- [Ruth comes into the bathroom where Bob is showering]
- Bob Patchett: [startled] Ruth! What the hell are you doing?! Oh, please, don't start now. My folks will be here soon.
- Ruth Patchett: I'm not starting anything, I just wanted to weigh myself.
- Bob Patchett: Yeah, no wonder you're upset.
- [Ruth comes into the dining room with soup. She takes the lid off of the dish, exposing Andy's pet gerbil, Herbie, lying dead in the meal]
- Bob Patchett: Oh my God!
- Andy Patchett: Herbie!
- Nicolette Patchett: I'm gonna barf!
- Bob Patchett: Ruth, what the hell is wrong with you?!
- Ruth Patchett: I'll go get a strainer.
- Bob Patchett: Ruth, where are you going?!
- Ruth Patchett: I don't know, Bob. Into my future, I guess.
- Mrs. Trumper: Let me stress one thing above all else. You must report any damp or smelly beds immediately.
- Ruth/Vesta Rose: Do you mean...
- Mrs. Trumper: INCONTINENCE! Bedwetters have no place in the Golden Twilight home!
- Nurse Hooper: I know what you've been doing! The vitamins! The workouts! It's against the rules! I'm going tor report you to Mrs. Trumper and then you'll be sorry!
- Ruth/Vesta Rose: I don't think so. I have been sorry my whole life and by the looks of it so have you, so you do whatever you want. It's a shame though, Hooper, I always thought women like us should stick together.
- Bob Patchett: Mary, what's wrong?
- Mary Fisher: Your son and that mongrel are molesting my poodle.
- Ruth/Vesta Rose: [taking notice of novel's author] Mary Fisher... any relation?
- Mrs. Fisher: My daughter.
- Ruth/Vesta Rose: Oh, how nice!
- Mrs. Fisher: She's a slut! Bitch keeps me in this dog pound while she lives the life of princess in her goddamn mansion.
- Ruth/Vesta Rose: That doesn't seem fair.
- Mrs. Fisher: I ought to drop in on her one day. That'd scare the shit out of her!
- Mary Fisher: Oh, don't you look... what's the matter with your clothes?
- Nicolette Patchett: You did the laundry.
- Mary Fisher: Oh yes, must be something wrong with that machine.
- Nicolette Patchett: [looks at food] What is it?
- Mary Fisher: It's potage de creme cresson.
- Andy Patchett: What's that?
- Mrs. Fisher: It's French for dog puke.
- Mrs. Trumper: She doesn't need nursing. She needs TLC.
- Mary Fisher: What is that? A new drug?
- Journalist: Are you saying she was promiscuous?
- Mrs. Fisher: Promiscuous? She was a teenage tramp! She couldn't get enough. She'd do it anywhere, anytime, and with anyone!
- Publicist: What's that in your hair?
- Mary Fisher: Oh! It's a Gummy Bear! [eats it]
- Meryl Streep - Mary Fisher
- Roseanne Barr - Ruth Patchett
- Ed Begley Jr. - Bob Patchett
- Linda Hunt - Nurse Hooper
- Sylvia Miles - Mrs. Fisher
- Elisebeth Peters - Nicolette Patchett
- Bryan Larkin - Andy Patchett
- A Martinez - Garcia
- Maria Pitillo - Olivia Honey
- Mary Louise Wilson - Mrs. Trumper
- Susan Willis - Ute