Tool is an American rock band, formed in 1990 in Los Angeles, California, who are noted for their progressive infuences and unconventional song structures. They have also been outspoken on a number of issues, ranging from religion to politics, both in their music and in person.
- Peace the fuck out!
- Hello Spotucky.
- Welcome to our world!
- I think I remember some of you, punk rockers from high school, you used to kick my ass and call me a faggot... You still do that.
- Hello, we're Tool. Just a reminder for those of you who are too fucked on acid to remember.
- I think psychedelics play a major part in what we do, but having said that, I feel that if somebody's going to experiment with those things they really need to educate themselves about them. People just taking the chemicals and diving in without having any kind of preparation about what they're about to experience tend to have no frame of reference, so they're missing everything flying by and all these new perspectives. It's just a waste. They reach a little bit of spiritual enlightenment, but they end up going, 'Well, now I need that drug to get back there again.' The trick is to use the drugs once to get there, and maybe spend the next ten years trying to get back there without the drug.
- I'm not really sure why somebody would want to take their clothes off at one of our concerts, but why you fucking Neanderthals can't evolve and keep your fucking hands off a naked lady, I don't know.
- We have a guest. We have Buzz from the Melvin's joining us. This is a song by a band called Peach, which Justin used to be in. Back when he was eating bad food.
- Good evening. It's good too see you all. Especially all of our Hollywood guests. This next song we don't normally do, but seeing as we've got so many very important guests from Hollywood; figured we'd do it for you. Incidentally, can we get you anything else? Cold beer? Hot Chocolate? A pillow in your fucking seat?
- I am not a scientologist nor should anyone else be.
- It's all about change and evolution individually as well as universally. It's also about unity (on Ænima).
- We really need to wrap this up, I have some internet porn waiting for me.
- This song explores sound and emotion in an odd way. If you don't know English or Italian, this song might sound very much like a passionate love poem, but in actuality it's a message from a person that is very angry, very hurt and very bitter. (on Message to Harry Manback).
- This is Justin, our new bass player. He's from England, so he kinda smells bad.
- I love fairy tales. (on Christianity)
- We have a guest. We have a guest tonight. Sinners put your hands together for the Reverend Buzz Melvin. The Lord Almighty says, 'I will punish you Nineveh. I will strip you naked; and let the nation see you, see you in all your shame.' What God is trying to say here is that, you all are wearin' too many clothes. You got to shred off the clothes, get rid of the clothes. And when you're all naked, rub up next to each other. And when you're all done with that. You need to go out and buy a t-shirt, a brand new Tool t-shirt. That's what God is trying to tell you. Just kidding about the t-shirt thing. What you really want to do is start fucking.
- Are ya happy? On three can I get a big, fat YES? 1..2..3 How 'bout in French, which is OUI (we) in case you wouldn't know that. 1..2..3.. And in Spanish, which is SI. 1..2..3..
- When I get an idea, my balls itch.
- Here we are, back in Mich-Again.
- We must know where we came from to know where we are going.
- I want you to take these feelings home with you, and remember them, and create something positive with them.
- Get out your calculators. (Before the Lateralus chorus kicks in live.)
- The only way to fix it, is to flush it all away.
- I hate children. I like to smack them around and kick them.
- Once again thanks for coming down. Apologize for being ill and having a sore throat, but, I don't want to be ill and have a sore throat, that means not touring and not singing, and that's just not an option. So thank you very much for coming down, thank you very much for helping us sell those records, thank you for helping me buy land in Montana stuffed with all kinds of spare batteries and guns and cattle and what not. You know why, right? Montana? It's a good spot. Tactically speaking.
- Thank you very much for sharing this moment with us tonight. We realize that some of this information can be kind of...overwhelming and we would like you to take care when your driving home that you don't masturbate yourself into oblivion and pass out and run into something with your car. That would be a bad thing. We're hoping that you discovered something about yourselves tonight. We're hoping that on some level you are inspired and/or healed - or just plain horny. We suggest you go home, curl up in front of a fire place, put on a copy of Caligula and have sex. Bring someone if you really want to make it interesting. Thank you for coming, thank you for having arrived. We'll see you on the other side.
- Yeah...yup. Time to spit-fuck the old lady. (Introducing Stinkfist)
- Hey I'm looking in the front row and you guys know we sell other color t-shirts than black, right? White ones and what not? Think positive, alright?
- Would you like us to come back? Do you like the sound of my pretty voice? Can you put your fucking cigarettes out so I can keep it and come back to sing for you? Pleaseeeee. Two hours, that's all we ask. Two hours out of every five years to put your fucking cigarettes out so I can keep my fucking voice. Pleeeease....fuckhead. (Paris)
- It's kind of cold here. I sent all my laundry off to get washed this morning, and somebody stole it. So I'm just stuck in my underwear, so it's kind of chilly...so I'll probably be this way for the rest of the tour 'cause I sent all my laundry out, so I have nothing else to wear so if any of you have any extra clothes you want to give me, that's cool. (Chicago)
- Thank you, good night. We’ll see you tomorrow. Just because we won a Grammy doesn’t mean we don't do encores.
- Good evening Long Beach! We assume you've come to have fun. We assume you've come to have fun. if you don't mind, we're gonna specify what kind of fun we have in mind. Not the, uh, not the WWF-MTV-dry-hump-dipshits gone wild on crack kind of fun. And of course, not the dick-Durst, Kid Cock, big-time Monster Truck Rally kind of fun either because we aren't going to under-estimate your intelligence. The kind of fun we have in mind tonight is intelligent fun, compassionate fun, psychadelic & introspective fun. Hopefully, the kind of fun that leaves you inspired, not just on a physical/sensual level but also on a mental/spiritual level. The kind of fun that scares the fuck out of religious fanatics and Republicans. In other words, dangerous fun. So, are you ready for that? Ok. Where were we?
- Allow me to introduce the cast of characters in this our final revival show. Reverend Daniel ‘The Lion Fucker’ Carey. The Reverend Maynard James Keenan, ‘Slayer of Able’. Reverend Adam ‘The Initial Sinner’ Jones. And Justin Chancellor, unfortunately a mute, a Canadian, and a financial advisor.
- We were backstage, playing Monopoly. Totally forgot there was a show so sorry we are late.
- For the sake of our health and lifespan, we ask that you don't smoke during this show. Aside from that...hell, y'all can have sex for all we care. (Cardiff)
- Billy, I think this is for you. This is Billy Howerdel, he's our guitar tech. He used to play keyboards for the Smiths. And look where he is now. He just found out the other day that he's missing a testicle. I don't know how you can be 27 years old & not know that you have only one testicle. But if any of you happen to have three testicles, there's a little drop box on the way out...you can leave one for Billy. Much appreciated.
- So, thank you for coming. This will be our last song. Crowd: "Boo!" Relax, it's not like we're Green Day. This song could be like half an hour [long], right?
- There's no love in fear.
- Consequences dictate course of action.
- I smell patchoulli.(at Bonnaroo)
- We're not a drug band at all. We're as psychedelic as a band can get, but we're articulate about it, I suppose. That's the difference between us and some other groups.
- We're dealing with the chaos of life, and we're rubbing it down. The deeper you rub, the more patterns you can see until you realize that it's really an organized chaos. There isn't really ever any chance to understand it all, but we're here to keep rubbing.
- No recording can capture what happens in a room with four people who have a similar cause and believe in it. Especially the way we play. Live is what our band is about.
- Kids will mosh to anything these days, but there are those people in the crowd that the music reaches on a deeper psychological and subconscious level.
- We're one of the few bands who hasn't had to play any lame fashion games, we've always been able to put art first.
- They are known to make people feel good, so that's our feel good song for the record. (on (-)Ions)
- I'm Whitney Houston
- The best thing about [Tool] is that no matter how many albums we sell, or how many tours we headline, our focus remains on the music.
- Our music is designed to inspire - to create thought - and no matter where we are, and how many people may be in the audience, that's where our efforts go.
- When we started the band we all had our own jobs. We did this as a side project, we never intended to get signed. It was all about the music, music that inspires and music that creates thought.
- We're all individuals and have our own opinions. We end up meeting in the middle and producing what you hear as Tool.
- I've never come across or been part of a collection of souls so diverse in character and belief that possess the ability to mutually accommodate those differences and evolve them into positive creativity.
- If you listen carefully you can hear the rubble subsiding into a glorious new landscape. Only then are you afforded the clarity of mind essential to pry open your third eye.