Victor Borge

From Quotes
To love one child and to love all children, whether living or dead—somewhere these two loves come together. To love a no-good but humble punk and to love an honest man who believes himself to be an honest man—somewhere these, too, come together.
Marguerite Duras
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Victor Borge (Børge Rosenbaum) (1909-01-032000-12-23) was a Danish-American humorist, entertainer and pianist.


  • I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.
  • I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
  • I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
  • Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
  • Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
  • I only know two pieces, one is 'Clair de Lune', the other one isn't.
  • The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
  • When you go home, please drive home extremely carefully. Extremely carefully. Because I walk in my sleep!
  • It's your language, I'm just trying to use it...
  • Giuseppe Verdi. Joe Green to you.
  • I'm going to play it with both hands so it will end faster.
  • I'm Lou Borg.
  • You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
  • There will be no dancing during this number... unless you absolutely have to!
  • I'm going to play a a Danish composer. Umm... Mozart. Hans Christian Mozart!
  • [Holds someone's red tie] Oh I thought you were bleeding
  • We have a neighbour, well who doesn't...but he's our next window neighbour, because he does not have a door at that end of the house!
  • My grandfather gave me this watch...a few minutes before he died...for 20 tax!
  • The soprano... is about four and a half feet tall... Lying down.
  • And now, Brahms! Joey Brahms! ...Brahms spelled backwards: "Smharb."
  • One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
  • Before we start, the Steinway Piano Company has asked me to announce that this is a Baldwin Piano.
  • (Inspecting the piano) Hmmm… Steinway & Sons. Didn't even know he was married.
  • Ignaz Friedman's dead now—I sincerely hope, because they buried him about 28 years ago.
  • F. Liszt, young man, is Fliszt. You don't say M. Ozart, do you?
  • It is important to always, always fasten your seat belt wherever you play.
  • Excuse me Ma'am, are you laying eggs? (Spoken in "Page-Turner")
  • Do I know how to raise turkeys? No, I don't - but they do....

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