A Dirty Shame
Live virtuously, and you cannot not die too soon, or live too long.Lady R. Russell
- Written and directed by John Waters.
- Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!
- My pussy's on fire!
- PINK STEEL!
- I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury.
- Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!
- A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.
- I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.
- A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!
- We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!
- Did you see those new neighbours moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to
- Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!
- I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!
- I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!
- Decency Rally Attendant: Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
- Old Woman: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pewbic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
- Cow Patty: [upon seeing Big Ethel] Wow, a tranny bear!
- Doctor: Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
- Paige: Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've fucked, and apologize to their parents.
- Dora: All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
- Caprice: Let my mother's pussy be!
- Sex Addicts Group: HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!
- Sylvia: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
- Caprice: I was promoting the art of dance!
- Sylvia: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
- Caprice: I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
- Sylvia: Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
- Caprice: You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
- Sylvia: Something is the matter with your vagina!
- Betty: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis? [giggles]
- Vaughn: Well, not really, Betty.
- Driver: Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
- Sylvia: What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
- Female Driver: You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!
- Vaughn: Good morning Big Ethel.
- Big Ethel: What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
- Shopper: Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
- Big Ethel: Oh you poor thing!
- Shopper: Every minute he wants it!
- Marge: He has no right to be that hard!
- Shopper: I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!
- Big Ethel: We're having a decency rally.
- Resident: You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
- Big Ethel: That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!
- Officer Alvin: I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
- Ray Ray: Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
- Officer Alvin: I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.
- Papa Bear: We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
- Mama Bear: And we can cuddle all night!
- Big Ethel: Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
- Vaughn: It's a disease, Big Ethel.
- Big Ethel: Bein' a whore is a disease?!
- Dora: Ever take a roofie?
- Sylvia: NO!
- Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!
- Tracey Ullman - Sylvia Stickles
- Johnny Knoxville - Ray Ray Perkins
- Selma Blair - Caprice Stickles
- Chris Isaak - Vaughn Stickles
- Suzanne Shepherd - Big Ethel
- Mink Stole - Marge the Neuter
- Patricia Hearst - Paige