Addams Family

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In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.
Les Claypool
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It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into The Addams Family (TV series). (Discuss)
The Addams Family television series aired from September 18, 1964 to April 8, 1966.

Morticia: Go tell Gomez: Don't. Stop. Uncle Fester: Got it.(to Gomez) Morticia says, "Don't stop".

Puggsley: I want an arrow so I can put an apple on Uncle Fester's head and shoot at it! Gomez: Careful, son. If you miss the apple, you might damage the arrow.

Lurch: You rang?

Wednesday: Are the Girl Scout Cookies made with real Girl Scouts?

Morticia: Happy birthday, Cousin Itt! We got you a dog! Gomez: The question is, who's who?

Gomez: You OK, son? Want me to read you a scary story?

Morticia: (after angrily painting a picture of Gomez in jail) Do you like it? Gomez: Yes, and I've got just the name for it. Morticia: What? Gomez: Joy!

Gomez: That's it! I'm gonna march on the school board! Pick on the PTA!

Morticia: What should I do about Gomez, Cousin Itt? (Cousin Itt pulls out a gun) Morticia: NO, NO! Something smaller! (Cousin Itt pulls out a smaller gun)

Morticia; Dear turn off the echo echo echo echo.

Gomez; Ho ho ho! I'm Santa Claus! Wednesday: But you can't be Santa Claus! Puggsley: He's fat! Gomez: I..I lost weight!

Gomez: Dear, something's wrong with Cousin Itt. You need to go talk with him alone. Cut down to the real him. Oh, and Morticia? Morticia: Yes? Gomez: (handing her scissors) You'll need these.

Gomez: Thing!!!!

Gomez: (about Morticia) ..and when you spoke French..oo la la!

Grandmama:I bet it's that yak stew! Had the same effect on my brother! Morticia: We've got to get rid of it! Gomez: Hey, everyone! I just drank the last bit of yak stew!

Guest: Why'd the hairy man run up the chimmeny? Gomez: Oh, Itt? Don't worry. He does that.

Spanish Guest: (remarking of Thing) Aah. I like your thing. Very handy!

Morticia: (reading book, getting disgusted) "The slithery slimy slug slowly slank.." Ugh! Uncle Fester: (to Gomez) Slunk?