Morticia: Go tell Gomez: Don't. Stop. Uncle Fester: Got it.(to Gomez) Morticia says, "Don't stop".
Puggsley: I want an arrow so I can put an apple on Uncle Fester's head and shoot at it! Gomez: Careful, son. If you miss the apple, you might damage the arrow.
Lurch: You rang?
Wednesday: Are the Girl Scout Cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Morticia: Happy birthday, Cousin Itt! We got you a dog! Gomez: The question is, who's who?
Gomez: You OK, son? Want me to read you a scary story?
Morticia: (after angrily painting a picture of Gomez in jail) Do you like it? Gomez: Yes, and I've got just the name for it. Morticia: What? Gomez: Joy!
Gomez: That's it! I'm gonna march on the school board! Pick on the PTA!
Morticia: What should I do about Gomez, Cousin Itt? (Cousin Itt pulls out a gun) Morticia: NO, NO! Something smaller! (Cousin Itt pulls out a smaller gun)
Morticia; Dear turn off the echo echo echo echo.
Gomez; Ho ho ho! I'm Santa Claus! Wednesday: But you can't be Santa Claus! Puggsley: He's fat! Gomez: I..I lost weight!
Gomez: Dear, something's wrong with Cousin Itt. You need to go talk with him alone. Cut down to the real him. Oh, and Morticia? Morticia: Yes? Gomez: (handing her scissors) You'll need these.
Gomez: (about Morticia) ..and when you spoke French..oo la la!
Grandmama:I bet it's that yak stew! Had the same effect on my brother! Morticia: We've got to get rid of it! Gomez: Hey, everyone! I just drank the last bit of yak stew!
Guest: Why'd the hairy man run up the chimmeny? Gomez: Oh, Itt? Don't worry. He does that.
Spanish Guest: (remarking of Thing) Aah. I like your thing. Very handy!
Morticia: (reading book, getting disgusted) "The slithery slimy slug slowly slank.." Ugh! Uncle Fester: (to Gomez) Slunk?