Almost Famous

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Almost Famous is a 2000 film about a fifteen-year-old boy who is given the chance to write a story for Rolling Stone Magazine about an up-and-coming rock band as he accompanies it on their concert tour during the 1970s.

Directed and written by Cameron Crowe
Experience it. Enjoy it. Just don't fall for it.


William Miller

  • Please don't give him any more acid.
  • When and where does this "real world" occur?
  • [to Penny, who is nearly passed out] I know you've heard this before. And I have never said this to anybody, not really--well, nobody who didn't legally have to say it back to me, but-God! Why am I so nervous? You'll never remember this-I love you, and I'm about to go where...many men have gone before.
  • "That groupie"? She was a Band-Aid! All she did was love your band. And you used her, all of you! You used her and threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys, you're always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans; she was your biggest fan, and you threw her away! And if you can't see that, that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!

Russell Hammond

  • I am a golden god! And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine, that my last words, were.... I'm on drugs!
  • I never said I was a golden god...or did I?
  • What am I doing? I am telling secrets to the one guy you don't tell secrets to.
  • From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm interested in.
  • Your mom kinda freaked me out.
  • Don't worry, no one's getting hurt here. She knows Leslie's coming to New York tomorrow. This is the circus, everybody's trying not to go home. Stop looking at me like that.
  • Write what you want.
  • [upon entering William's bedroom] So... This is where the enemy sleeps.
  • Let's say all of the things we never said.
  • I dig music....(After the bad reception of the new last words) I'M ON DRUGS!!!!
  • You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. And she wanted us to be together.

Lester Bangs

  • Jim Morrison? He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet. C'mon, give me The Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.
  • Music, you know... true music, not just rock and roll...it chooses you. It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones, with the vast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain.
  • You cannot make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important. If you're a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet girls, they'll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs... I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it.
  • The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
  • I'm always home. I'm uncool.
  • Do you know "The Letter" by The Box Tops is a minute and fifty-eight seconds long. Means nothing. But it takes them less than two minutes to accomplish what it takes Jethro Tull hours to not accomplish.
  • Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you.
  • Because they are trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously and righteously dumb. And you're smart enough to know that. And the day it ceases to be dumb is the day it ceases to be real. And then it just becomes an industry of... cool.
  • Great art is about guilt and longing and, you know, love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love.
  • That's because we're uncool. And while women will always be a problem for us, most of the great art in the world is about that very same problem. Good-looking people don't have any spine. Their art never lasts. They get the girls, but we're smarter.

Jeff Bebe

  • Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Well maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music.
  • It's okay! I'm easy to forget! Just leave me behind! I'm only the fucking lead singer!
  • Is it that hard to make us look cool?
  • "Rock 'n' roll can save the world"? "The chicks are great"? I sound like a dick! I never said that!
  • He was never a person, he was a journalist!
  • I get people off! And I find the one guy who isn't getting off, and I MAKE him get off. Actually, that you can print!
  • I've studied the entire history of music. And for the most part, the good stuff is the popular stuff. Show me a guy who says he doesn't want to be popular, and I'll show you a scared guy. It's easy to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?

Penny Lane

  • We are not Groupies. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids.
  • I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. You never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit your friends.
  • I am no good at good byes.
  • You are home.

Elaine Miller

  • Don't take drugs!
  • [in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!
  • Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no slipper coming.
  • Adolescence is a marketing tool.

Polexia Aphrodisia

  • It's all happening!
  • Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight.
  • Let's deflower the kid.

Sapphire

  • Does anyone remember laughter? Passes girls! Come and get 'em.
  • Who brought Opie?!
  • Opie must die!
  • Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!
  • They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.
  • You know, I always told her not to let too many guys fall in love with her. I guess I was wrong. One of them ended up saving her life.

Anita Miller

  • This is a house of lies!
  • This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.
  • [last words to little brother William before leaving home] One day, you'll be cool.
  • Listen to Tommy with a candle burning, and you'll see your entire future.
  • You look awful. But it's great. You're free of Mom. You're living your life.

Others

  • Dennis Hope: If you think that Mick Jagger will still be out there trying to be a rock star at age fifty, well, then, you are sadly, sadly mistaken.
  • Dennis Hope: I didn't invent the rainy day, man. I just own the best umbrella.
  • Ben Fong-Torres: A Mo-Jo, it's a very high-tech machine that transmits pages over the telephone! It only takes eighteen minutes a page!
  • Ben Fong-Torres: You're not out there to join party. We've already got one Hunter Thompson.
  • Estrella Starr: [about Penny Lane] She changed everything. She was the one that said "No more sex. No more exploiting our bodies and hearts." Just blow-jobs, and that's it!

Dialogue

Elaine Miller: [to William] Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child.
Anita Miller: What about me?
Elaine Miller: You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.

Lester Bangs: So, you're the one who's been sending me those articles from your school newspaper.
William Miller: I've been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too.
Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?
William Miller: They hate me.
Lester Bangs: You'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

Anita Miller: FECK YOU!
Elaine Miller: HEY!
Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.
William Miller: I think she said "feck."
Elaine Miller: What's the difference?
William Miller: The letter "u."

Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.
William Miller: I will call you if anyone anywhere gets drunk.

William Miller: [as Stillwater is walking by him, ignoring his requests for an interview] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. And you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, that was the right thing to do. And Russell, Russell, the guitar sound... is incendiary. Incendiary. Way to go.
[He turns to leave. The band members regard one another for a moment]
Russell Hammond: Well, don't stop there!
Jeff Bebe: Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!

Penny Lane: How old are you?
William: 18.
Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
William: 17.
Penny Lane: Me too!
William: Actually, I'm 16.
Penny Lane: Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different.
William: I'm 15.

Penny Lane: I've made a decision, I'm gonna live in Morocco for one year. I need a new crowd. Do you wanna come?
William Miller: Yes! Yeah.
Penny Lane: [smiles] Are you sure?
William Miller: Ask me again.
Penny Lane: Do you wanna come?
William Miller: Yes! Yes.

Jeff Bebe: I can't say any more with the writer here.
Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want.
Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off.
Jeff Bebe: [to William] Actually, that you can print!

[Regarding the t-shirt picture, with Russell prominent in front, the rest of the band fuzzy in the back]
Russell Hammond: Can we just skip the vibe, and go straight to us laughing about this?
Jeff Bebe: Yeah, okay.
Russell Hammond: Because I can see by your face you want to get into it.
Jeff Bebe: How can you tell? I'm just one of the out-of-focus guys.

William: [on the phone with his mother] I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm flying back on Monday Morning. I'll only miss one test. I'll make it up.
[Russell listens in, holding his guitar, laughing.]
Russell: Tell her you're a slave to the groove - you can't help it!
William: [covers phone] No.
[Russell grabs the phone]
Russell: Hi Mom! It's Russell Hammond, I play guitar in Stillwater! It's my fault. How does it feel to be the mother of the future of rock journalism? [pause] Hello?
[Silence. Penny passes and stands near William. They watch a new pack of groupies prowl the road-crew. They are more glam, more trashy and less selective. They slink past, eyeing Russell. Penny Lane give them a dirty look and shoos them away.]
Russell: You've got a great kid -- nothing to worry about! We're taking care of him! And you should come to a show sometime! Join the Circus!
Elaine: Listen to me. Your charm does not work on me. I'm onto you. Of course you like him.
Russell: [getting serious] Well, yeah.
Elaine: He worships you people and that's fine with you, as long as he helps make you rich.
Russell: [a nerve is struck] Rich? I don't think so -
Elaine: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted, 15 year-old kid, with infinite potential.
Russell: [Russel looks over at the kid, eyes narrowing as he processes the truth.]
Elaine: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're talking to. I know about your Valhalla of Decadence, and I shouldn't have let him go. He is not ready for your world of compromised values, and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking clearly to you?
Russell: Yes, ma'am.
Elaine: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession -- which is law, something you may not value but I do -- you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone. And it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?
Russell: Uh, yes ma'am.
Elaine: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to be a person of substance, Russell. Get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke. [Russell is in shock]

Topeka Kid: You're Russell from Stillwater.
Russell Hammond: Well, yeah, on my better days, I am Russell from Stillwater.

Russell Hammond: You, Aaron, are what it's all about. You're real. Your room is real. Your friends are real. Real, man, real. You know? Real. You're more important than all the silly machinery. Silly machinery. And you know it! In eleven years its going to be 1984, man. Think about that!
Aaron: Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
Russell Hammond: Yes.

Russell Hammond: [from a roof top, overlooking a crowd surrounding a pool] And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. This is better. Last words - I dig music.
[a few claps]
Russell Hammond: I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]

Penny Lane: You're too sweet for rock and roll.
William Miller: Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and I am PISSED OFF! I could be very dangerous to all of you! And you should know that about me... I am THE ENEMY!

Elaine Miller: [on the phone] May I speak with William, please?
Sapphire: He's not here. He's still in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?
Elaine Miller: No, this isn't Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. You created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, and we're all looking out for him. He's doing a great job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And that's more than I've ever said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.

Lester Bangs: Oh man, you made friends with 'em. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.
William Miller: Well, it was fun.
Lester Bangs: Because they make you feel cool, and hey, I met you. You are not cool.

Penny Lane: Look - you should be happy for me. You don't know what he says to me in private. Maybe it is love, as much as it can be, for somebody...
William Miller: Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there!... Oh god. Look- I'm sorry.
Penny Lane: [sniffs] What kind of beer?

Russell Hammond: Well William. We showed you America. Did everything but get you laid.
[William looks out the window and smiles]
Russell Hammond: Really? No!
All in car: No!

Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Are you Mr. Miller?
William Miller: Yeah.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: You have a message from Elaine, your mother.
[pause]
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: She's a handful.
William Miller: I know.
Sheldon the Desk Clerk: [seriously] She freaked me out.

William Miller: Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like "Love Thing," where did you write that and who was it about?
Russell Hammond: When did you get so professional?

William Miller: So Russell... what do you love about music?
Russell Hammond: To begin with, everything.

Cast

External links

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