American Idol

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American Idol is a popular reality television program of the United States.

Simon Cowell

  • (To Elliott Yamin) In five seasons, I think, potentially, you are the best male vocalist we've ever had.
  • Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf.
  • Eleven year old girls will adore that.
  • Have you ever been called precocious?
  • It was like some precocious little girl pretending to be Beyonce.
  • Once again, you have won the granny vote.
  • Nobody under ninety would appreciate that.
  • The problem is that you're 17 yet you're trying to sound 50.
  • I’m just trying to put a tiny bit of reality back into the show here, which is a singing competition!
  • I don't think you're the best singer, but you're interesting. I kind of prefer you to last year's winner, actually.
  • I know that Mozart & Beethoven are the experts here, however, Mr. Naive Ignorant Simon doesn’t think it was (well)!
  • I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it.
  • I think that by ignoring the show you're ignoring the audience who put you there.
  • I think it was a complete and utter mess. It didn't work — it was all over the place. You were forgetting your words. I mean, it was "We Will Rock You Gently". I really, really, really hated that.
  • I think he knows how to articulate something that people are entertained by and still be true to the message he's trying to send, ... very aware of himself.
  • I think you're going to be a very successful model. And it's best to be great at something rather than not so good at something.
  • I think you just booked your plane ticket home.
  • I thought the song was boring. It is "American Idol" and you've got to be as broad as possible.
  • If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.
  • In my opinion, this was your best performance so far.
  • It was like ordering a ferocious guard dog for your home and getting delivered a poodle wearing a leather jacket instead.
  • It's a lesson learned. You have to stand out from the crowd. You didn't stand out from the crowd, simple as that.
  • It's everything I love about reality shows, which is the good, the weird and the completely and utterly disillusioned.
  • My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't.
  • Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.
  • That was terrible, I mean, just awful. You have to have a talent to progress it. I don't believe Cassandra has a singing talent. She's completely wasting her money. Sorry.
  • This is a singing competition, not a dancing competition!
  • This really is La La Land.
  • This was the only performance which stands up in the real world — tonight you were the standard.
  • Why are you having a normal conversation with him? This is a dairy farmer dressed as a woman.
  • You and Latin music go together like chocolate ice cream and an onion.
  • You are a funny little thing!
  • You are a saucy little thing aren't you?
  • You are the worst singer in America.
  • You are the worst singer in New York.
  • You are the worst singer in the world.
  • You are the worst singer I've ever heard in my life.
  • You are what we call a naughty little minx.
  • You're useless, I'm bored - yes or no?
  • You can't sing; you can't dance; so what do you want me to say? (Towards William Hung)
  • You've got quite a good voice, the problem I have is this looks to me like 10 years ago.
  • You have just as much Latin flair as a polar bear.
  • You have just invented a new form of torture.
  • You sung like you were on a dentist's chair.
  • If you won this competition, you will be the end of the American Music Industry.
  • There it was one great part of it, it was the end.
  • Other Door
  • Lets try a new tactic(sarcastically)Incredible!!
  • Sometimes I like putting sugar in my tea to make my tea sweeter. That was equivalent to putting eleven spoonfuls of sugar in it.

Dialogue

Cowell: Jennifer, here's a new word, that was: Extraordinary!
Contestant: Thank You!(laughing)
Cowell: Unfortunately, extraordinarily bad!


Cowell: You sing like the Spice Girls.
Contestant: Thanks.
Cowell: Unfortunately that wasn't a compliment.


Seacrest: Any advice on the high heels, Simon?
Cowell: You should know, Ryan.
Seacrest: Stay out of my closet!
Cowell: Come out!
Seacrest: This is about the top twelve, Simon, not your wishes

Paula Abdul

  • I think you're the next sex symbol.
  • Elliott, you're one funky white boy.
  • I just want to squeeze your little head off and hang it from my rear view mirror. (to David Archuleta)
  • Simon, Shut up!
  • You are this handsome, evolved performer. You are an American Idol!
  • You work hard for the money.

Randy Jackson

  • My boy can blow too!
  • You're one of the most natural, great singers I've heard in a long time.
  • I'm sorry dawg, it just didn't work for me.
  • That was da bomb.
  • For me man, that was real corny.
  • That was a little pitchy for me dawg.
  • Dawg pound, we got a hot one tonight!
  • This one is a hot one.
  • Jordin, listen. That was the bomb. Very in control. You're like a pro and you're seventeen! I'm like, WHAT!?

Ryan Seacrest

  • They don’t serve biscuits at those restaurants.
  • He's happy! He's happy!
  • (to Simon) You're done! Shhh!

Dialogue

Seacrest: Any advice on the high heels, Simon?
Cowell: You should know, Ryan.
Seacrest: Stay out of my closet!
Cowell: Come out!

Contestants

  • I'm going home to my goats.
    • Heather Cox, season 5 semifinals.
  • I have the community snotrag. You can have it when I'm done.
  • What is CAl-A-MARI??
    • Kellie, season 5, on Queen results night.
  • I learned two words a long time ago that help out a lot: Screw it. If something's bothering you, don't dwell on it. Just let it go. Worrying ain't gonna do nothing but make it worse.
  • It's music, man. If music is in your heart, you feel it, you play it, you sing it, you perform it, you bust your buns doing it. That is what it's all about!
  • This song is a great song for me, because I have memories, I don't really have love thoughts.
    • Paris, on love songs week, season 5
  • I can be the first American Idol who doesn't sing!!!
  • Im Unique!!
  • I was so lost for so long. I'm thinkin' about how long it's taken to get here, to get to this point, ya know? And it hasn't been easy. I feel like I was doing what I was born to do, and I've always known that. It's just that, that I don't know how to get there. And now that I'm here, it's like wow!

Dialogue

  • (actual dialogue heard between two contestants in the "bottom 3", season 5, episode #177, 4/12/06)
    • Elliott: Man, I'm going to miss you.
    • Bucky: That's okay, I'll see ya next week.