Bad Santa

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The ideas of a time are like the clothes of a season: they are as arbitrary, as much imposed by some superior will which is seldom explicit. They are utilitarian and political, the instruments of smooth-running government.
Wyndham Lewis
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Bad Santa is a 2003 film about a miserable con man and his partner who pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid, and the security boss discovers the plot.

Directed by Terry Zwigoff. Written by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.
He's very naughty . . . and not very nice. (taglines)

Willie

  • I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not the DMV!
  • I'm not your fucking Da-Da.
  • Willie: It's Christmas and the kid's gettin' his fuckin' present.
  • OW! Watch the toenails, kid. Shit!
  • Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass.
  • I'm an eating drinking shiting fucking Santa Clause.

Dialogue

Marcus: More booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucking
Willie: Sure, the 3 B's.

Kid: Should I fix you some sandwiches?
Willie: I don't want any fucking sandwiches. What is it with you and fixin' fucking sandwiches?

Hindustani Troublemaker: I am not gay!
Willie: What the hell, buddy?
Hindustani Troublemaker: Buddy? I said I am not gay!
Willie: Are you off your fucking meds or something?
Hindustani Troublemaker: Yes. But that isn't what this is about. You're as queer as a ten dollar bill.
Willie: Let me tell you something, motherfucker. My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fuckers in Vietnam. So I want you to look at me. I want you to look at my face one last fucking time. This is the last thing you're ever gonna see before I...
Hindustani Troublemaker: [grabs Willie and pins him against the car] Elf fucker! Motherfucker. Elf fucker! Who's the bitch now, Santy Claus? Faggy Claus! Faggy...
Kid: Leave Santa alone!
Hindustani Troublemaker: Little boy, don't interfere. I am doing this for all of us.
Kid: Leave Santa alone!
Hindustani Troublemaker: [Willie pulls free. Hindustani Troublemaker turns to leave] Ass clown.

Willie: You can't drink worth a fuck.
Marcus: I weigh ninety-two pounds you dick!

Taglines

  • He's very naughty . . . and not very nice.
  • He doesn't care if you're naughty or nice.
  • Get Naughty this Holiday Season.

Cast

External links

Wikipedia
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