Beer

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Happiness is not a possession to be prized. It is a quality of thought, a state of mind.
Daphne Du Maurier
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Beer is a popular alcoholic beverage.

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  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Beer, the cause and solution to all of life's problems Phillip

  • Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
  • Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
  • It is nice when you can sit back with some friends, drink some beer and have a good time.
  • You can't have a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.
  • 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
  • Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
  • Beer, if drunk with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.
  • I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
  • Ich sitze hier und trinke mein gutes Wittenbergisch Bier und das Reich Gottes kommt von ganz alleine
    • Translation: I sit here and drink my good Wittenberg Beer, and the Kingdom of the God comes all by itself."
  • Wasser trinkt der Vierbeiner; der Mensch, der findet Bier feiner.
    • Translation: Water is drank by the four legged beast; man prefers it with hops, malts, and yeast."
      • German Trinkspruch
  • Beer, Helping Ugly People Get Laid Since 1844.
    • Jake Wane-Smith
  • One beer is no beer, two beers are half a beer, and three beers are one beer. But one beer is no beer!

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