Truth is immortal; error is mortal.Mary Baker Eddy
- I don't know what my fans are going to think. It's definitely not what they're used to from me.
- On his starring role in the drama The Razor's Edge, as quoted in Stills Magazine (1984)
- I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do.
- I think The Razor's Edge is a pretty good movie. But at the time, it was just as reviled as any other comedian doing a serious thing now. Like The Majestic [with Jim Carrey], movies where comedians go straight, people don't like them.
It angers people, like you're taking something away from them. That's the response I got. I thought, "Well, aren't we all bigger than that?" I wasn't shocked by it, but I thought that the professional critics would be able to say, "OK, we shouldn't rule this out, because the guy normally does other stuff."
Unless it's really despicable, then you have to just jump with both feet on the neck.
- Rolling Stone Issue 903 (22 August 2002)
- I think romance basically starts with respect. And new romance always starts with respect. I think I have some romantic friendships. Like the song “Love the One You’re With”; there is something to that. It’s not just make love to whomever you’re with, it’s just love whomever you’re with. And love can be seeing that here we are and there’s this world here. If I go to my room and I watch TV, I didn’t really live. If I stay in my hotel room and watch TV, I didn’t live today.
- Melancholic and lovable is the trick, right? You've got to be able to show that you have these feelings. In the game of life, you get these feelings and how you deal with those feelings. What you do when you are trying to deal with a melancholy. A melancholy can be sweet. It's not a mean thing, but it's something that happens in life — like autumn.
- As Carl Spackler:
- So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald ... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a 10,000-foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga ... gunga – gunga lagunga. So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
- Oh Mrs. Crane, you wore green so you could hide from me. You're a little monkey woman. You're lean and you're mean and you're not too far between, either, I bet, are ya, huh? How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my ...
- Incredible Cinderella story. This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack ... at Augusta. He's at his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think. [Swings, pulverizes a flower] Oh, he got all of that. The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta. The normally reserved Augusta crowd, going wild ... [pauses] for this young Cinderella who's come out of nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left, he's going to hit about a 5 iron it looks like, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing ... [swings, pulverizes another flower] That's ... Oh, he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that! The crowd is just on its feet here. He's a Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8 iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent ... Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters Champion. [Swings, pulverizes yet another flower] It looks like a mirac- It's in the hole! It's in the hole! Former greenskeeper, now Masters champion!
- As John Winger:
- Ma'am, I'm sure there are a lot of ways I've gone that you haven't.
- Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.
- [Winger's girlfriend is leaving him] You can't go. All the plants are gonna die.
- And then depression set in.
- My philosophy: a hundred-dollar shine on a three-dollar pair of boots. I don't think I've ever been this happy.
- We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A", huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts.
- We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1.
- Don't order the Schnitzel, they're using Schnauzer.
- Y'know, one day, Tito Puente will be dead, and you'll say, "Oh, yes, I've been listening to his work for years."
- [to the Czech border guards] We're so damned lost. Where the hell is Innsbruck, Austria?
- Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.
Where the Buffalo Roam (1980)
- As Dr. Hunter S. Thompson:
- I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone... but they've always worked for me.
The Razor's Edge (1984)
- As Larry Darrell:
- This isn't the old Mister Sunshine.
- When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.
- As Dr. Peter Venkman
- If we're wrong, then nothing happens. We'll go to jail. Peacefully. Quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if we're right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny... you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
- Back off man. I'm a scientist.
Groundhog Day (1993)
- As Phil Connors:
- Chance of departure today, one hundred percent.
- I make the weather.
- People like blood sausage, too. People are morons.
- Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.
- Well, it's Groundhog Day... again...
- I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...
- What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.
- I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
- [playing "chicken" with an oncoming train] I'm betting he's going to swerve first.
- There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
- I've been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned… Every day I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender — I am an immortal!
- When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.
- This is one time when television fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.
- I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace.
- Well, we mustn't keep our public waiting.
- Gosh you're an upbeat lady.
- I promise I won't touch you ... much.
- Winter slumbering in the open air wears on his face a dream of spring.
- Today is tomorrow. It happened!
- No matter what happens tomorrow or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now.
Broken Flowers (2005)
- As Don Johnston:
- I'm a stalker in a Taurus.
- As Herman Bluth:
- "My advice to you is take dead aim on the rich boys. Catch them in the crosshairs and take them down."