- Announcer: (From Season 11 through 18) Due to the graphic nature of this program, viewer discretion is advised.
- Announcer: (Since Season 19) Viewer discretion is advised.
Announced just before the COPS logo, which appears at the end of the opening montage, in every episode.
- Announcer Harry Newman: COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
- Announcer Harry Newman: (Until the end of Season 2) COPS is filmed on location as it happens. All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
Announced at the beginning of the closing credits, in every episode.
- Policewoman: 132 and Bush, I've got him at gunpoint.
- Dispatcher: Roger, 132 and Bush, cover is code 3.
(Until the end of Season 2)
- Policewoman:Got a white t-shirt on, white short pants, medium complexion.
- Dispatcher: 23, have any location?
- Detective Geno Falcone (Las Vegas, NV)" So I'm watchin' the Bulls game...tight game...I hear some scufflin', some carryin' on outside...I grab my gun and my cuffs, I say 'Debbie call the cops'...found this guy attacking that guy, the least credible one I handcuffed...aaaaaand that was that!
- Officer: Good job!
- Detective Geno Falcone(after a botched "high-five" with the officer): Take care.
- Officer: Well, you're going to jail for, um...burglary.
- Suspect: Burglary? What did I burglarize?
- Officer: That man's house!
- Suspect: How?
- Officer: I wasn't there, you tell me!
- Burglary victim: I was asleep in the back, right? And I heard the glass break, so I said 'shit, somebody's in the house!'. So I sat up and yelled 'Hey, hey, hey, somebody's in the house! Somebody's in the house! And when I got up and came out here, I saw the guy running out so I yelled 'Hey hey! Somebody in the house!"
- Officer (Las Vegas, NV) What do you do for a living, sir?
- Prostitution sting suspect: Well, right now I'm....(incredulous) I'm sellin' a truck!
- Officer (Las Vegas, NV): Now I don't want to see you again.
- Prostitution sting suspect: Well, you're gonna have to see me in court!
- Officer: I won't have to be there, sir.
- Prostitution sting suspect: Yeah well....I meant the police department. This is a bad bust guys, that's all I'm sayin'.
- Female suspect (Atlanta, GA): You're messin' with my life and you're messin' with my son's life. and when you mess with my children's life, you're dead! Your whole family's dead!
- Female suspect: Y'all are just gonna have to load me up in the paddy wagon.
- Officer: What about the weapon we found outside?
- Suspect (elderly, very angry): What weapon?! Does it have my name on it?!!
- Officer: No sir, we found it outside your home in the front yard.
- Suspect: Oh, goody two-shoes for you!!!
- Policeman (Fresno S.O.): Now the reason I suspect you of possession of narcotics is this --
- [Officer removes a marijuana joint from behind the suspect's ear.]
- Suspect: You're pretty good..!
- Policeman: [over COPS logo bumper] Never ceases to amaze me...
- Roll-call sergeant (Boston P.D.): OK, to lighten things up a bit, anyone got a joke they wanna tell?
- Policeman: If you don't stay still, we will have to use pepper spray on you.
- Drunk Suspect: Pepper? What the fuck is that? You can't do that. I'm allergic to pepper. It makes me sneeze.
- Officer Rick Benson: [about a suspect] Goony as a road lizard.
- Drunk Suspect: I am not a black male.
- Policeman: I didn't say you were--
- Drunk Suspect: [interrupts, shouts] I'm a white male!
- Drunk Suspect: You ever seen Cujo?
- Policeman: Sit down on the ground.
- Drunk Suspect: Cujo bit me. I seen that dog.
- Policeman: A dog attacked you?
- Drunk Suspect: [imitating a dog] Bark, bark.
- Suspect: Why am I bein' arrested?
- Policeman: [breathing heavily after a foot chase] For bein' stupid!
- Suspect: You know, if I wanted to, these handcuffs couldn't stop me from taking you all outta here with a kungju jitsu flip trick
- Policeman: A what?
- Suspect: A kung Ju Jitsu Flip Trick
Squad leader plays a sloppy radio transmission.
- Squad Leader: I will castrate the next person that does that.
Suspect repeatedly gets calls on cellular telephone, deputy finally answers phone.
- Deputy: You can stop calling now; he's going to jail.