COPS

From Quotes
The happy think a lifetime short, but to the unhappy one night can be an eternity.
Lucian
Jump to: navigation, search

COPS (1989 - present), a long-running reality television program on the FOX network.

Introduction

Announcer: (From Season 11 through 18) Due to the graphic nature of this program, viewer discretion is advised.
Announcer: (Since Season 19) Viewer discretion is advised.

Announced just before the COPS logo, which appears at the end of the opening montage, in every episode.

Announcer Harry Newman: COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
Announcer Harry Newman: (Until the end of Season 2) COPS is filmed on location as it happens. All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Closing Credits

Announced at the beginning of the closing credits, in every episode.

Policewoman: 132 and Bush, I've got him at gunpoint.
Dispatcher: Roger, 132 and Bush, cover is code 3.

(Until the end of Season 2)

Policewoman:Got a white t-shirt on, white short pants, medium complexion.
Dispatcher: 23, have any location?

Unknown Episode

Detective Geno Falcone (Las Vegas, NV)" So I'm watchin' the Bulls game...tight game...I hear some scufflin', some carryin' on outside...I grab my gun and my cuffs, I say 'Debbie call the cops'...found this guy attacking that guy, the least credible one I handcuffed...aaaaaand that was that!
Officer: Good job!
Detective Geno Falcone(after a botched "high-five" with the officer): Take care.

Officer: Well, you're going to jail for, um...burglary.
Suspect: Burglary? What did I burglarize?
Officer: That man's house!
Suspect: How?
Officer: I wasn't there, you tell me!

Burglary victim: I was asleep in the back, right? And I heard the glass break, so I said 'shit, somebody's in the house!'. So I sat up and yelled 'Hey, hey, hey, somebody's in the house! Somebody's in the house! And when I got up and came out here, I saw the guy running out so I yelled 'Hey hey! Somebody in the house!"

Officer (Las Vegas, NV) What do you do for a living, sir?
Prostitution sting suspect: Well, right now I'm....(incredulous) I'm sellin' a truck!
Officer (Las Vegas, NV): Now I don't want to see you again.
Prostitution sting suspect: Well, you're gonna have to see me in court!
Officer: I won't have to be there, sir.
Prostitution sting suspect: Yeah well....I meant the police department. This is a bad bust guys, that's all I'm sayin'.

Female suspect (Atlanta, GA): You're messin' with my life and you're messin' with my son's life. and when you mess with my children's life, you're dead! Your whole family's dead!
Female suspect: Y'all are just gonna have to load me up in the paddy wagon.

Officer: What about the weapon we found outside?
Suspect (elderly, very angry): What weapon?! Does it have my name on it?!!
Officer: No sir, we found it outside your home in the front yard.
Suspect: Oh, goody two-shoes for you!!!

Policeman (Fresno S.O.): Now the reason I suspect you of possession of narcotics is this --
[Officer removes a marijuana joint from behind the suspect's ear.]
Suspect: You're pretty good..!
Policeman: [over COPS logo bumper] Never ceases to amaze me...

Roll-call sergeant (Boston P.D.): OK, to lighten things up a bit, anyone got a joke they wanna tell?

Policeman: If you don't stay still, we will have to use pepper spray on you.
Drunk Suspect: Pepper? What the fuck is that? You can't do that. I'm allergic to pepper. It makes me sneeze.

Officer Rick Benson: [about a suspect] Goony as a road lizard.

Drunk Suspect: I am not a black male.
Policeman: I didn't say you were--
Drunk Suspect: [interrupts, shouts] I'm a white male!

Drunk Suspect: You ever seen Cujo?
Policeman: Sit down on the ground.
Drunk Suspect: Cujo bit me. I seen that dog.
Policeman: A dog attacked you?
Drunk Suspect: [imitating a dog] Bark, bark.

Suspect: Why am I bein' arrested?
Policeman: [breathing heavily after a foot chase] For bein' stupid!

Suspect: You know, if I wanted to, these handcuffs couldn't stop me from taking you all outta here with a kungju jitsu flip trick
Policeman: A what?
Suspect: A kung Ju Jitsu Flip Trick

Squad leader plays a sloppy radio transmission.

Squad Leader: I will castrate the next person that does that.

Suspect repeatedly gets calls on cellular telephone, deputy finally answers phone.

Deputy: You can stop calling now; he's going to jail.

External Links

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: