Cats & Dogs
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.Don Herold
Cats & Dogs is a 2001 film directed by Lawrence Guterman about the ancient relationship between cats and dogs.
- I've changed my mind. Call me the Claw of Ling-Chow!
- See you puppies later.
- Where's my family?
- I'm coming Buuuuutch!!!
- I'm so fast! I can't see myself!
- [after seeing a dog bully a cat in a cartoon] Dogs rule.
- Holy Chihuahua!
- Heel! That's the big button, and you don't just PRESS the big button.
- HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED?! You promised me a professional, and what did I get? A puppy! He's still has his you-know-whats for crying out loud!
- Son of my mom!
- Evil does not wear a bonnet!
- Is the puppy alive or not?
- Is the game afoot? [Calico haltingly confirms] WHY IS THE GAME AFOOT?!
- When I rule the earth, you will be the first on my list.
- The ninjas failed, and do I need to remind you that failiure is unacceptable?!
- 'Dark Coud'? Is that what I'm calling my plan, 'Dark Cloud'?
- Stand still! I need to crush you.
- At what point did you forget that WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!
- [various fuzzy images of him on a video recording] Hello? Hello? Is this on? Closer, closer! Turn the camera over! Where'd you come from? And about time too! Hello, my puny-minded, dog-faced-- what? Yes, it's on. Because I can see the red light blinking. Oh, start over.
- Meow-meow-meow-meow-meow! [sung sarcastically over the telephone] How many dogs does it take to overthrow mankind? Just one stupid puppy! Whoo ha ha ha ha!
- [to Sophie, finally speaking] What's the matter, Large Marge? Cat got your tongue?
- I'm sure we'll get into the basement lab just fine, right guys? GUYS!
- Project 'Dark Cloud' should go down without a, uh, hitch.
- You should keep your hair like that, it's very slimmy.
- Gas it up down there, step on it!
- BRAKE! GAS! GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU LUNATIC!!! BRAKE! GAS! BRAKE! Oh, where did you guys get your license?
- I cannot believe I do this job for half-price. That Mr. Tinkles, he is a jerk. He talk too much and shed all over.
- [after realising that breaking it down will cause commotion] Piece of junk, American door...
- [being interrogated by the dogs] I will tell you nothing! I may look cute and cuddly, but inside, granite!
- [battling Lou] You fight like a poodle.
- What do they know? I work hard, bring home the Meow Mix...
- Lou: I'm on to you kitty and you're in big trouble.
- Russian Kitty: (deep Russian accent) I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble. [splits a container in half and slaps a gigantic lump of dog doo in the middle of the carpet] From Russia with love.
- Lou: Uh-oh.
- Mr. Tinkles: I want you to stay here.
- Calico: Why?
- Mr. Tinkles: Because I hate you.
- Sam: Sir, request permission to pant heavily, sir!
- Butch: Granted.
- Lou: HEY, YOU STUPID CAT!!!
- Peek: That'll definitely get his attention.
- Peek: Cut the red wire.
- Butch: Wait a minute... we're dogs. WE'RE COLORBLIND!
- Scotty: Loser.
- Lou: Cat person.
- Jeff Goldblum - Professor Brody
- Elizabeth Perkins - Mrs. Brody
- Alexander Pollock - Scotty Brody
- Tobey Maguire - Lou the Beagle (voice)
- Alec Baldwin - Butch (voice)
- Sean Hayes - Mr. Tinkles (voice)
- Susan Sarandon - Ivy (voice)