D-Generation X

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D-Generation X is a professional wrestling stable originally formed in 1997 in the WWE, currently made up of Triple H and Shawn Michaels.

The Originals (September '97 - March '98)

D-Generation X... Is that us?

The promo that spawned the "D-Generation X" moniker, interrupting an interview with Bret Hart
Shawn Michaels: Hold on, we would love to comment on what happened to the Hitman last week. Now before the Hitman puts a sleeperhold on this crowd and puts 'em all to sleep, we would love to tell the Hitman that I know you're gettin' old, I know you're jerkin' the curtain on my cards, at Survivor Series I know we're gonna be in your neck of the woods in Canada. Well I got some footage for you, I want everyone to see this because nobody knows Canada like I "nose" Canada. Hit the footage, Daddio.
(Footage of Hart vs. Triple H the week before, with Shawn sticking part of the Canadian flag up his nose.)
Triple H: Look at that, way up there. Did that tickle your brain?
Shawn Michaels: Oh, yeah.
Triple H: You know something, Hitman? Let's take a look at a little piece of footage I got for you from last week. I beat you so bad last week, my hands are still hurtin' me. And let's face it, Hitman--I'm younger than you...
Shawn Michaels: Everybody's younger than him.
Triple H: I'm better than you...
Shawn Michaels: Everybody's better than him.
Triple H: And I'm certainly bigger than you, in more ways than one.
Shawn Michaels: (looking down) Good God, you could put an eye out with that thing! Anyway, let's run--let's see Hunter's footage now. Hit the footage in the truck, boys, come on.
(Later in the match, Chyna nails Hart outside the ring, resulting in a fight.)
Triple H: Oh, that's gotta leave a mark.
Shawn Michaels: Gettin' beat up by a girl! Oh, attackin' a woman.
Triple H: Beatin' up a woman.
(Superkick by Michaels)
Shawn Michaels: That's gonna leave a mark for sure. You shouldn't be pickin' on women, Hitman. Bad boy. Bad, bad.
Triple H: Here's pokey twins trying to make a road race (Neidhart, Owen, and Smith chasing Shawn and Chyna on the outside)
Shawn Michaels: Look at the speed and agility here. They finally got--ohhh.
Triple H: Big fakeout, big fakeout. We're outta here.
Triple H: Your winner is Triple H, Hunter Hearst Helmsley. How sweet it was.
Bret Hart: I tell you what--why don't you two degenerates come down here right now, and step in the ring with me right now? Either one of you, I don't care! Either one of you right here, right now!
(Shawn and Triple H look at each other wide-eyed, then back)
Shawn Michaels: Is he challenging me?
Triple H: Is he challenging us?
Shawn Michaels: Right now regularly, I would take him up on his challenge, but you know why I'm not gonna? You know why I'm not gonna? I'll tell you why--because the last time I took him up on a challenge was WrestleMania, and I beat his ass for that stupid piece of tin he's got on his shoulder. And at Survivor Series, I'm gonna take that stupid piece of tin you got on your shoulders once again. I've beaten you, I've beaten your brother, I've beaten both your brother-in-laws, and I'll beat up your whole family if you get in my face one more time.
Triple H: And as far as I'm concerned, Bret Hart, you want a piece of me, huh?! You want a piece of me?! Come on! I'll take you on, Hitman! I'll give you the worst beating of your life! Hey, wait a second, I did that last week. I did that last week, Hitman! Never mind, I don't need to do it twice. I already did it.
Shawn Michaels: I've had so many shots to my head that I forgot how bad we beat him up last week. Hitman, I got news for you--sometime during this show, we are gonna cross paths. And you talk about us being Degenerates. You know what, I am tired of Generation X getting a bad rap.
Triple H: Do you think you're a degenerate?
Turns to Triple H
Shawn Michaels: Do you think you're a degenerate?
Triple H: Well...I mean...
Shawn Michaels: I mean, I'm positive I'm one.
Triple H: Then I guess I have to be one.
Shawn Michaels: You know what? Generation X always gets a bad rap; everybody calls us degenerates. Degeneration X... is that us? Degeneration X! HBK, Triple H, Chyna, Rick Rude, we are Degeneration X--you make the rules, and we will break them!

Election Speech

Triple H: Between the hours of 10 & 11 pm, we will only use the words, ass, damn, hell and bitch. We will NEVER, however, use the words, shit, fuck, goddamn, Jesus Christ, faggot, or any other racial or sexual slurs. Now then, as it pertains to video, we promise there will be LESS dick references.
Shawn Michaels: Awwww SHIT!
Triple H: Watch your fuckin' mouth!
Shawn Michaels: Woah, fuck me...
Triple H: Goddammit... fuck! ... Anyway, there will be less references to our enormous genitalia
Shawn Michaels: Oh, and one last thing...even though many of you believe that currently the favorite pastime in the oral office is swallow the leader. I did not, I repeat, I did not sleep with that young intern. As a matter of fact... I was UP, ALL, NIGHT!
They both laugh


Shawn Michaels: "Ladies and gentlemen, this public service message (may be occasionally replaced with something like "this thrashing of five male cheerleaders") was brought to you by your friends from D-Generation X…"
Either or both HBK & Triple H: "…who would like to remind each and everyone of you that if you're not down with that we got two words for ya!"

Any D-X members: Suck it!

Any D-X members: I got 2 words for ya… Suck it!

Triple H: Parents, get your children's permission to watch!

Triple H: Who in the hell do you think you are? Do you know who we are? We are D-Generation X, and this is the World Wrestling Federation, and this is where we make the rules, not you! Get it? We make 'em, we enforce 'em, we run the World Wrestling Federation, and you had better get that through this thick head of yours. Because the next time you stick your nose—-or should I say, chin—-in DX's business, it's gonna be the last thing you do. Now, Slaughter, from what I hear, Sgt. Slaughter, your wife, your old lady is not too thrilled with your privates. As a matter of fact, from what I hear, you're having a little problem going past half-mast. Now, you stick your chin in DX's business again, I'm gonna have to make a swing by your house and show her my lance corporal and show her what standing at attention is all about!

Triple H: First of all, Sgt. Slaughter, Commissioner Slaughter, whatever you wanna call yourself, you can come out here, you can call me "maggot", you can call me scum, you can spit all over the place, you can do whatever you want in little "cobra cannon", your cobra clutch. Remember this--that same schtick you just came out hera and gave is the one I watched when I was a little kid, and that schtick scares me about as much now as it did then. Slaughter, make whatever match you wanna make, I don't care, because come D-Generation X, I'm gonna finish you off once and for all. And on a footnote, I hear Sgt. Slaughter is some kinda Fort Bragg legend. Well you just remember this--while you G.I. Janes are out there prancing around, pretending to be soldiers, your old ladies will be back here, standing at attention for the sergeant with the purple helmet!

Triple H: "Are you ready? I SAID ARE YOU READY?! Then, for the thousands attending, for the millions watching at home, (may add something in here like "and because Shane McMahon is about to get the crap kicked out of him,") let's get ready to suck it!"
Shawn Michaels: And of course, if you're not down with that (may say "down with us") WE'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!
Triple H and Shawn Michaels proceed to lift their mics in the direction to the crowd, who screams SUCK IT!

Shawn Michaels to Sgt Slaughter (the then commissioner of the WWF)
Shawn Michaels: Okay Sarge, we'll start showing you respect...Suck It!
Both Shawn Michaels and Triple H laugh, then Triple H proceeds to give Sgt Slaughter a faux salute followed by a crotch chop

Shawn Michaels: Nobody knows Canada like I "nose" Canada!
After showing video footage of Shawn Michaels with a small part of the Canadian flag in his nose

Triple H: After you get pricked by my cactus, I'll let you play with my PRARIE DOG!

Shawn Michaels: Get the camera on that lady: she has DX written on her breasts. Now, I was wondering... could you give me 2 nipples for a dimes?
Shawn Michaels, addressing the cameraman on an audience member who had "DX" written on her shirt.

Shawn Michaels: Get a look at that - THE TWO NEWEST MEMBERS OF D-GENERATION X!
Triple H: You know Shawn, if Chyna had a nipple for everytime someone said she was the breast looking woman here...she'd be a millionaire. But you know what, I think we'd have to change our name to...DOUBLE D GENERATION X!
Shawn & Triple H on the topic of Chyna's breast implants.

Shawn Michaels: You ain't got the official hello here from the World Wrestling Federation. So on behalf of the Kliq, I would like to give you an offical "hello" from The Kliq.
Chyna and HHH proceed to give Michael Cole a wedgie
Shawn Michaels: ...Ohhh, I did'nt wanna say anything- but that my friends..IS GONNA LEAVE A MARK!

After Shawn & Triple H's European championship "match"
Triple H: (Says this acting all emotional) Can I just say, that aside from my kid being born - Although I don't have one (Smugly) that I know of - this is the happiest moment of my life! Sarge, I DID IT!
Shawn Michaels: And you didn't need any help on this, Sarge, but we made an ass out of you, anyway! Merry Christmas!
DX laughs at Sgt Slaughter

The DX Army (April '98 - August 2000)

The Return of X-Pac & Shoot on WCW

Triple H and Chyna both come down to the ring.
Triple H: You know, a lot can happen in 24 hours. Let's start with Mike Tyson.
The crowd enters a mixed reaction which turns from cheers to boos.
Triple H: You know, I must have asked a thousand times. "Is he locked in? Is he with us? Is he a part of us? Are you sure? Is it sewn up?" chuckles What I heard was, "Don't worry, kid. I got it covered. Don't sweat it. You worry too much, it's sewn up. Let me make the decisions." Well, you dropped the ball. But don't worry, HBK, cause Triple H picked it up. And now the ball is in MY COURT! I'LL take care of the worries, I'LL take care of the problems, and I'LL make the decisions! This is the genesis of D-Generation X! Tonight, live, in front of the world, I form the DX Army! An army to take care of business that should've been taken care of right from the start! And when you start an army, when you set out to do what no one else can do, the first thing you do is you look to your blood. taps forearm three times You look to your buddies. You look to your friends. You look… to the Kliq.
The DX music comes on, and X-Pac comes out. The crowd cheers loudly.
Triple H: Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Jim Ross: (sarcastically) Well look who's back.
The music and entrance continues, and Triple H meets X-Pac at the bottom of the ramp with a hug, following which they both come into the ring and celebrate. He also high-fives with Chyna.
Triple H: You know, when you've been an intentioned servant for two years, you run up a lot of feelings! Talk to 'em, kid!
X-Pac: Albany, New York! Raise some hell and make a little noise!
The fans cheer riotously at this.
X-Pac: First things first, I got a lilttle sum'n sum'n I gotta get off my chest right now. I heard Hulk Hogan come out on television saying I couldn't cut the mustard? Well, Hulk Hogan, you suck, pal!
The fans cheer loudly again.
X-Pac: So I don't think you have any room to talk about anybody cutting any kinds mustard. And Hulk, I gots… I got some more advice for ya. You better not step short, or Eric Bischoff'll go so far up your ass he'll know what you had for breakfast!
The crowd cheers loudly again.
X-Pac: And now on to important matters at hand. I'm sittin' at home, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind, and I get a call from one my best friends in my entire life, Triple H, and he says, "DX needs your help." Well damn it, Triple H. Any time you ever need anything from me, pal, you've got it. And I got sum'n else to say. Kevin Nash and Scott Hall would be standing right here withus is if they weren't being held hostage by World Championship Wrestling. Any that's a fact, Eric Bischoff! So put that in your pipe and smoke it!
The crowd pops again.
X-Pac: So the way I see it right now, this is a new beginning for D-Generation X, and we're here to rip ass on the World Wrestling Federation, and it starts tonight!
The DX music goes.
Triple H: Oh, yeah! By the way, I got two words for ya!
X-Pac: Suck it!
Triple H: Yeah!
Triple H and X-Pac keep celebrating to the DX music…

Invasion of WCW

X-Pac: Just wanna give a big shout out to our boys Kevin Nash and Scott Hall!
Triple H: Let my people go!
While invading WCW Headquarters. This is a reference to Kevin Nash & Scott Hall, both former WWE superstars who joined WCW, and were part of The Clique

Triple H: All I wanna know, not from experience, but do you think WCW sucks?
Female Fan: Of Course!
DX and the Female fan start laughing

Triple H: Sir, did you pay for your ticket?
WCW fan: Hell no! I got it for free!
D-X start laughing
Triple H: Why? Because WCW does what?

D-X have been locked out
Road Dogg Knocking on the door: Hellooooooo? Anybody home?Yoohoo?Yoooohoooo?

In an interview about the WCW invasion several years later
Triple H: After we got back to the arena, we realised that we went on air after WCW, and someone said "What if WCW send their guys here?" because they would've had a chance to get their guys together. Vince said "We let them into the ring. What are you gonna watch, the show with no-one or the show with everyone?"

Nation of Domination parody

Triple H (as The Crock): You know The Crock just came from the bathroom... and... you should've smelled what The Rock was cookin'...I ain't fakin'...you should have smelled what The Rock was bakin'!
Road Dogg (as B-Lo, a parody of D-Lo Brown): The Crock was Bakin'! Brotha was Bakin'! (On 2nd Turnbuckle, he has his arms out and his head shaking like D-Lo Brown)

Triple H (to X-Pac as Mizark): How do you get your pecs to go all the way around to your back like that?
Road Dogg takes the mic from Triple H
Road Dogg (as D-Lo): What he wants to know is how--
The Rest of the "Nation": SHUT UP!!!
Road Dogg goes back to the corner turnbuckle and imitates D-Lo

Triple H (as The Crock): When it comes to he Crock and the ladies, and The Crock hits Rock Bottom...he has no choice, but to lay the SmackDown! on himself.

X-Pac (as Mizark): Hey hey hey, Rock! I don't know what you're cookin... smells like shit. Course I think I'll eat some anyway.

Jason Sensation (as Owen Hart): Well, Enough is enough, and it's time for a change! You know, nobody listens to me, nobody gives a damn what I think...and what the hell am I doing wearing this ridiculous outfit!? I look like a damn road sign! What the hell am I, a school crossing?!?!

Jason Sensation (as Owen Hart): You Know, I tried to be a tough guy, but I just couldn't grow the damn beard in!! And You Know What?! I AM NOT A NUGGET! I'M A BLACKHEART, DAMN IT!! A WINNER!! A SOLE SURVIVOR!! WHOOO!!!!!
Pause, Crowd yells out "Whoo!" And if anybody smells what The Rock is cooking, it's me, look how big my damn nose is! What the hell am I? an aardvark?!?! WOOOOO!
Road Dogg: What's The Brotha look like-- an aardvark?!?!


Road Dogg: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. D-Generation X proudly brings to you, its ("soon-to-be" if they weren't already, or "former and future") WWF Tag Team Champions of the Worrrrrrrrrrld! The Road Dogg Jesse James! The Bad Ass Billy Gunn! The New! Age! Outlaws!
Billy Gunn: And if you ain't down with that, we got two words for ya — SUCK IT!
New Age Outlaws D-X intro

Billy Gunn: You know today, D-generation-X declared war on the rest of the world. (Billy starts laughing). So tonight Baltimore, you're either with us, orrrrrrrrr........

Triple H: Vince McMahon committed a crime against me personally, which left me with no choice but to have D-X get personal with Vince McMahon.

Triple H: Vince, as a member of the immediate family...and I know you can only have one question on your mind...Dad...And that is...not did we BUT how many times did we consummate the marriage!
After Triple H revealed that he drugged Stephanie McMahon & married her in Vegas

Triple H: Vegas is great, isn't it, man? This is the greatest place on Earth. Lookit; you have everything you could want; adult movies...this is a nice neighborhood!

Triple H: What the hell kind of family did I marry into?

2002 Return

Shawn Michaels: Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the ol' grapplin' show... LOOK WHO'S BACK IN TOWN! The boys who were rebels before being a rebel was cool, D-Generation X!
Triple H: With that said... (holds microphone up as the crowd chants "DX") You're damn right. Are you ready? (crowd cheers) I said ARE YOU RRRRREADY!? (crowd cheers again, louder) Then, for the thousands in attendance, and for the millions watching at home... LlllllllllllllllLET'S GET READY TO SSSSSUCK IT!!! (crowd cheers)

After this, Triple H pedigrees Shawn Michaels and gets booed at. He then rips off his shirt, throws it at Shawn, and leaves. (This would be the start of Triple H's 2002 heel turn and his long going feud with Michaels.)

The Return (June 19, 2006 - January 7, 2007)

Reunion Night

Following the Spirit Squad calling out DX, DX appears backstage on the Titantron:
Shawn Michaels: I told you! I told you this was gonna happen! I knew it! I knew it! There's five of them! There's only two of us! Don't you realize they're gonna murderize us! THEY'RE GONNA MURDERIZE US!
Feints as if he's going to cry
Triple H (Holding Shawn by his face): Shawn, calm down! Shawn, for the love of God, calm down! They're just... Cheerleaders.
Shawn and the crowd laughs
Triple H ...And you think that you we're gonna come out just because you boys called us out? Think again, boys! Oh, we will come out, but it'll be on our terms, when we wanna do it- The whole world will witness tonight the REBIRTH, the REINTRODUCTION, the COMING ALIVE of THE MOST Powerful force in the universe: D-GENERATION X!! But that will be a little later, so until then..We've just got Two words for ya:
crowd screams "SUCK IT!"
Triple H: Actually, no, that's not the words we were thinking of, the words we were thinking of were more along the lines of umm....Look Up.
At that moment, the Spirit Squad gets green slime/paint dumped on them and D-Generation X laughs hysterically
Triple H: Just like everything we do, boys, THAT is gonna leave a mark!
They proceed to spraypaint "DX" on the camera lens before walking off

After ramming Jonathan Coachman's head into a wall and pulling down his pants
Triple H: It's a thong!
Shawn Michaels: (Disgusted) Oh that's just great! What kind of a man wears a thong!?
[Triple H hesitates]
Shawn Michaels: What are you looking at?
Triple H:[hesitates a few more seconds] Nothing. That's just stupid!:[Both of them pick up spray cans and shake them up. Shawn covers his eyes and sprays the D backwards]
Triple H: You got it backwards.
Shawn Michaels: Oh, is that backwards?
Triple H: Yeah!(sprays the X)
[They walk out of Vince McMahon's office]
Shawn Michaels: Ach...I think he burned my retinas.
Triple H: Told you he was an ass.

Later that night, the actual reunion
Triple H: I think... I think I know the answer to this, but I'm still gonna ask it... Are You Ready?!
Crowd cheers
Triple H: NO!!! I SAID, ARE....YOU...REEEEEEEAAAAADY?!!!!!!!
Cheers get louder
Triple H: Then for the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching at home... and just because we're back baby... LLLLLLETS'S GET READY TO SUCK IT!!!!!
Shawn Michaels: And of course...
Crowd starts a "D-X" chant
Shawn Michaels: Oh no, there's more: And, of course, If you're not down with that, WE ALL GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!!!!
Crowd: SUCK IT!!!!!!
Triple H: So this is it baby. D-Generation X is back. Bigger, badder than ever, THE ORIGINALS, right here tonight.
Shawn Michaels: Y'know, I have to bring the mood down a little bit, but I'm guilt ridden. I am guilt ridden. We did a bad thing tonight, and I have to come out here, I have to ask the Lord for forgiveness, I have to ask each and every one of you for forgiveness, because right now, at this minute, Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon are nervously biting their fingernails, on a Private Jet Plane, flying BACK to Connecticut worried sick over Princess Stephanie and her, y'know....labor...pains. Y'Know-.
Triple H: points at Shawn LIAR!!! Liar. That's a lie!
Shawn Michaels: It-It is… it is a lie. She's… fine.
Therefore admitting that Stephanie's contractions were all one big hoax
Shawn Michaels: You know what… y'know, I was wondering though, who -uh, I mean, who do you think the guy is that, y'know, got her pregnant and everything.
Triple H: I don't know, but I tell you this: That guy's gotta be one hell of a stud. He's probably hung down to here-
Triple H points to his knee. This is a reference to the fact that Triple H is the father of the child in real life
Shawn Michaels: ONE second here, I think this is the part of the show where I'm gonna segue...if you will, smoothly segue into a shameless Pay Per View plug. THIS SUNDAY, AT VENGEANCE, by the way, you can call your local cable subscriber and order Vengeance this Sunday, Live from Charlotte, North Carolina.
Triple H: Live only…
Both: …on Pay Per View.

Shawn Michaels: "Now, Spirit Squad, I know what you're thinking, not that I've been a cheerleader, but still, I know what you're thinking. 5 on 2, you've got the odds stacked in your favor. Well, you seem to forget that you're not just facing any two ordinary WWE superstars, no no no...you're facing "THE GAME", TRIPLE H, "THE HEARTBREAK KID", SHAWN MICHAELS, D GENERATION X!"

After beating up the "Spirit Squad Midgets"
Triple H: Now Shawn, I would imagine that this is your handiwork..
Shawn Michaels: Well, yeah...I thought.. I thought it'd be funny
Triple H: Well, it was funny, but it came just a little "short" for DX Standards. I know you've put a lot of thought into this, and I've thought about cheerleaders...I've been thinking about Cheerleaders all week
Triple H proceeds to "touch himself", in which hints Shawn to put the blindfold on
Triple H: Yeah Shawn, you better put the blindfold on...you see, my version is just a little bit different...
At this moment, four female cheerleaders come out and sing a cheer for DX
DX Cheerleaders: :D-Generation X is here! Mr McMahon should run with fear! What they will do, we do not know; We're here to just take off all our Clothes!; DX! DX! D-Generation X!
Triple H: Hey...you guys are the breast cheerleaders ever! Hey...are those underwire? It looks uncomfortable..feel free to take 'em off..."

After beating up Johnny and Nicky
Triple H: IN case you girls have forgotten, WE are D-Generation X. At Vengeance, you're gonna get your asses handed to ya, DX style. But until then we've got just two words for ya.
The Midgets then reveal the words "SUCK IT" on their buttocks

Vince & Shane McMahon parody

Triple H as Vince: Alright, cut my music! Tonight, my son Shane McMahon and I, are going to beat the holy hell out of D-Generation X. But until then, I am going to stand here and... ramble incohorently for absolutely no reason. What D-Generation X did to me last week...It was...well it was embarrassing. It was more embarrassing than when...TRIPLE H! Pedigreed me right in the middle of this ring, exposing my doughy white Alabastar keister to the world. It was more embarrassing than when... SHAWN MICHAELS... beat me within an inch of my life, on the grandest stage of them all... WREEEESTLEEEMAAANIAAAAA!!!! And quite frankly, it's more embarrassing than...than... well than the XFL.
*Crowd says ohhhhhhh!
Triple H as Vince: You see D-Generation X last week, brought me a rooster; The implication being, that I love cocks. Well I don't! What I love... is great men. Men who are pioneers. Men like my good friend at NBC Dick Ebersol. Men like the Vice President of the United States of America, Dick Cheney. Or that great entertainer. What's his name...the uhh, the guy that is almost as old as I am... Oh, Dick Clark! What I am getting at people, is that...I, Vincent Kennedy McMahon...love... dicks. Yes! That's right! I said it! I...LOVE...DICKS! I love 'em all, and I don't discriminate either! I like big ones, I like small ones! I like fat ones, I like skinny ones! I like long ones! I like short ones! I like white ones! I like black ones! Hell I'll even do an Asian! I just can't...get...enough...DICKS. And I will be the first one to tell you right now, that anyone, ANYONE, that gets between me and my dicks, well then... YOU'RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...EEEEEEEEEEERRRR...EEEEEEE...*cough, wheeze* Eeeeeeeerr....errr....
Shane McMahon's music plays. HBK as Shane comes out dancing parodying Shane McMahon's entrance, until he gets to the ring
Shawn Michaels as Shane: Dad! What're you doing?! I'm your son! The product of your semen! See!
He takes out a card
Shawn Michaels as Shane: It even says so on my business card.
Shawn dances, again making fun of Shane's entrance dance
Shawn Michaels as Shane: Dad! I've tried to be supportive of you with this whole thing, well mostly 'cause, when you die which, honestly I'm hoping isn't far off... The whole McMahon empire! It'll be mine, mine, all mine! Muahahahaha! ...
Shawn dances
Triple H as Vince: Son... son... Are you mildly retarded?
Shawn stands there silently for a few seconds. Then dances
Triple H as Vince: But Shane O, Shane O, you got it all wrong, son. You see, when I pass, I'm not gonna leave my money to you. When I pass, I'm gonna leave all my money to my beautiful daughter Stephanie... and-and whoever that guy is that knocked her up. You know, there's something about that guy. I mean, I like to say my semen is powerful; But that guy, oh my god he must have a ba-ZOO-ka....
Shawn Michaels as Shane: WHOA WHOA AH AH! ... NO WAY DAD! NO WAY!
Shawn steps closer to HHH in a funky way
Shawn dances WHAM, WOO WHAM WHAM!!
Shawn Michaels as Shane: Dad! This is about DX! At WrestleMania, Shawn Michaels took this face! And shoved it!
Shawn points at HHH's butt
Shawn Michaels as Shane: UP THAT KEISTER! C'mon dad, just give me one more chance at Shawn Michaels and I'll...I'll...
Shawn Michaels as Shane: WHAM, WOO WHAM WHAM!!!:Shawn dances ... C'mon dad, I won't lie to ya, I'm getting a little excited. So excited I could just... just...DAAAAAAAAAAAANCE...!
Shawn starts to dance even more, around HHH
Triple H as Vince: Oh now please son, please don't dance...
Shawn is still dancing around HHH
Shawn Michaels as Shane: LOOK AT ME DAD, I'M DANCING DAD, I'M DANCING!
Triple H steps in front of HBK
Triple H as Vince: STOP IT!!!!!!!
Shawn falls to the mat pretending to be in shock
Triple H as Vince: Now you know as well as I do Shane, that when you come out here and do stuff like this I have to try to out do you! That's the way it works! Well tonight is no different! You wanna play pal?! Huh?! You wanna dance?! Well then YOU, and everybody else...
Triple H takes off his sports coat and loosens his tie. Shawn gets up while parodying of Shane's dancing
Triple H as Vince: ...had better... Stand back!"
Triple H holds his arm up and hits Shawn in the face as he gets up, making him fall down again. Then he gets up and they both begin dancing to an old video of Vince McMahon from the 1987 Slammy Awards singing "Stand Back" on the Titantron in which Triple H and Shawn Michaels proceed to dance- and Triple H proceeding to "teach "Shane" a lesson in dancing. Minutes later the real McMahons come out.
Vince McMahon: Well it's about time for this DX crap to come to an end! Which is exactly what my son Shane and I are gonna do to you! We're gonna beat the crap out of yah! But we're not-we're not gonna do it alone, because as a matter of fact, we have some 'observers' that are gonna join us!
The Spirit Squad comes out.
Triple H: All of you? Oofa! Let me tell you something...--"
Vince McMahon: What...What the hell is this?!
Vince points to an outhouse lowered to the stage
Vince McMahon: What is--
Triple H: Well that's because you're...
Triple H and Michaels: You're full of crap!
Human feces falls on the McMahons and the Spirit Squad
Triple H: Hooooooooly SHIT!
The fans chant "HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT several times
Triple H To the fans: "Don't worry, just because of Shawn, it is Holy Shit! ( This is a reference to Shawn being a born-again Christian )
Shawn Michaels: Ladies and gentlemen, this public service message was brought to you by your friends from D-Generation X...Who would like to remind each and everyone of you that if you're not down with that we got two words for ya!
Triple H and Michaels raise their microphones up.
Fans: SUCK IT!

4th July Party

DX have been banned from the building and are having a 4th July party outside, when the subject of the Spirit Squad comes up.
Shawn Michaels: So, Spirit Squad, you can stay out there, smelling like the feces you were rolling around in last week, or you can come out here, and let us beat the feces outta you!
Triple H: Man, who writes this feces?

Mr. McMahon & Spirit Squad dub

As Mr. McMahon is talking to the Spirit Squad about their 5-on-2 elimination match against DX, the screen splits and on the other side is DX.
Shawn Michaels: Pardon the interruption, folks. We're D-Generation X. And that's Vince McMahon. Our boss.
Triple H: You ever wonder what somebody like him is really thinking? Hmm…
The screen un-splits, but DX still has the sound, so they decide to pick on the Spirit Squad and Mr. McMahon.
HHH as Vince: Now, damnit. I'm telling you guys. I'm old. I'm an old, crusty geezer. That's what I'm saying. But tonight, tonight is a big night. Tonight, by the end of the night, I want you all to come to my room and take off my clothes. I want you to tie my hands up over my head, and I want you to spank my bottom until it is red. Do you understand me? Red! Spank, my, bottom!
HBK as Kenny: Well, Mr. McMahon, before we get to the spanking, we have to go out on primetime television and get our backsides handed to us by D-Generation X.
HHH as Vince: Is that true?
HBK as Mikey: Well, I don't know if anybody notices, but I've got a chin that looks just like Jay Leno!
HBK as Johnny: I can picture it now. We're gonna get our backsides handed to us in front of the world!
HHH as Nicky: That's right! That's right! Those guys are gonna beat me in the face so bad it's gonna be bleeding!
HBK as Mitch: I'm gonna take this fist and shove it down my own throat! Bwahahahahaha!
HHH as Vince: Guys, that all sounds great. It all sounds great, but remember, tonight, you're gonna come to my room and you're gonna spank, once, twice, three times. I want you guys to spank my bottom until it is red. All right? Now, guys. Everybody. Hands in. Hands in. Uh, uh… what is it we're gonna say?
HBK as Kenny: On 3, Red Bottom! Okay?
HHH as Vince: Alright.
HBK as Kenny: 1, 2, 3!
HHH and HBK as Vince and the Spirit Squad: RED BOTTOM!! Hahahahahaha! Oh, yay!
Audio reverts back to Mr. McMahon and the Spirit Squad
Vince: We will NEVER AGAIN be embarrassed by D-X! NOT AFTER TONIGHT!!
Vince and the Spirit Squad leave the room with Triple H imitating a fart sound as they leave

SummerSlam Trailer

A plane flies by with a SummerSlam flag behind it. Camera moves down to a big house with a banner and balloons out front. RVD and Tommy Dreamer walk towards house with weapons
Triple H: Hey Lita.
Shawn Michaels: Are you back for more?(cuts to DX working the grill. Shawn gives Lita a hot dog) Maybe that'll hold ya over.
Triple H: I doubt it.
DX looks down to see that one hot dog is left
Triple H: The last hot dog!
The words echoes through Kane and Viscera's head. DX runs off. Kane grabs bun and pushes his plate onto a diva. Viscera drops stuff and walks to grill. ground shakes. Coach walks by grill, stops, turns to see the last hot dog. Four members of Spirt Squad are in a pyramid shape and cheering
Nicky: Come on Mikey!
Kane walks by and knocks them over
Coach: Hey! A hot dog!
Viscera pushes Chris Masters squirting sun tan lotion in his face. Kane walks by Eugene and pops his balloon with his finger. Eugene cries
Coach: This is my lucky day!(takes bite out of hot dog. Kane and Viscera stand on both sides of Coach growling. Coach is nervous) Heh heh what's up fellas? Heh heh.
Plane from beginning returns.

Congratulations, it's a girl!

Shawn Michaels: "Well I just like to say congratulations on the new member of the McMahon Family. And just like in the old country, Mozol Tov!"
Triple H: "Shawn, we're not Jewish. (Is now talking to the McMahon's) Le Chayim! Oy Vay!!"

DX and the McMahon's Family Scrapbook
Shawn Michaels: It is also my understanding that one Triple H...has acquired the entire McMahon family scrapbook.
Triple H: I have in my possession the very first photo of one Vince McMahon. Now, you're going to have to bear with me a little bit, ok, because they didn't have color photography way back then, and sometimes these Civil War-era photos don't hold up too well, but it's still pretty good! So, ladies and gentlemen, Vince McMahon!
A black & white picture of a baby shows up on the tron with Vince McMahon's head superimposed while in the bib of the baby writes "I Love Cocks"
Crowd laughs
Shawn Michaels: Now, I've heard the phrase, "There's no such thing as an ugly baby", but THAT'S (Points to TitanTron) an ugly baby! We also have the first baby picture of Shane McMahon. Shall we?
A picture of a baby shows up on the tron with Shane O'Mac's head superimposed in with a spoon in his mouth:
Crowd laughs
Shawn Michaels: He really was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. You know, the doctor told me that when he popped out, he started dancing on the table, swinging his umbilical cord. (Shawn imitates Shane O'Mac's dance shuffle)
Crowd laughs
Vince McMahon: That's enough of this humiliation! We're not gonna stand--
Triple H: No, no, actually, it's not quite enough, because we've left out the most important one. How can we leave out your new baby granddaughter? I mean, I think the whole world wants to see what she looks like--
Vince McMahon: You better watch yourself!
Triple H: --and I just happen to have--
Vince McMahon: I'm warning you!
Triple H: --the first public photo of the newest member, of the McMahon family.
A picture of a baby shows up on the tron with Triple H's head superimposed in:
Triple H: Hey, I don't know about you guys, but that's one hell of a good lookin' kid.
Shawn Michaels: You know, I'm tellin' you, she looks familiar...but I...I just can't seem to put my finger on it.
Is tapping HHH on the shoulder as he says this - He is the father in real life

Hell Freezes Over

Triple H: We came out here, we kicked some ass.. And now, I need to get a question answered...
Triple H pauses
Triple H: Are you ready? NO! MONTREAL, I SAID "ARE! YOU! READY!"
Crowd cheers
Triple H: Then for the thousands in attendance, for the millions who, a couple of minutes ago were watching at home. It's like 11:08 guys, we're off the air! And for Vince McMahon. Because he loves...
Crowd: Cocks!
Triple H: Apparently, he's a lover of salads... Mostly tossed.
Triple H: And, just because his head was so far up Big Show's ass, he could see what he had for dinner last week! I swear to you, I swear to you, when you go home, go on wwe.com. There is a picture of Big Show, leaning over the top rope, with his drum hanging down. He looks like he's giving birth to Vince.
Screen cap of wwe.com is brought up on titantron
Triple H: There, right there. Hey, I know you guys were watching on TV, you have no idea how deep that is. I'm not, I'm not 100% sure, I thought I saw some shoes, like somebody else was already in there.
Triple H pauses, and he & Shawn point to the crowd to get each section to cheer
Triple H: Quiet, quiet. I didn't do this part yet, right? Wait for it, wait for it... Lllllllllet's get ready to suck it!
Triple H hands the mic to Shawn
Shawn Michaels: And of course, because for one night only, Montreal forgave me, if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya!
Crowd: SUCK IT

DX Apology

[Raw 10/9/06: before their match against Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight]
Shawn Michaels: Good evening. As a result of our actions last week, namely taking over the show, which apparently we don't have the authority to do, the WWE has demanded that D-Generation X issue formal apologies to the following individuals.
Triple H: This is stupid, Shawn, why do we have to do this?
Shawn Michaels: Because they said we had to, that's why. First, the entire tag team division of RAW, for single handedly decimating you..
Triple H: Uh, no, okay, you see now right there, the... they were... honestly, there really wasn't a tag team division very much, before we decimated them.
[Shawn throws away card]
Shawn Michaels: Okay then. The Spirit Squad, for making you dress up like female cheerleaders.
Triple H: Nah, see now again, we couldn't make those guys look any more like fairies if we tried.
[Shawn throws away card]
Shawn Michaels: To Jonathan Coachman, for undermining his authority and making him look...
[Triple H looks at Shawn, Shawn throws away card]
Shawn Michaels: To the Masterpiece, Chris Masters, for making him look like a...
[Shawn throws away card]
Shawn Michaels: To Edge, for inadvertantly costing you your last chance to regain the WWE Championship, we...
Triple H: Ah, again, in all fairness Shawn, do you really think Edge was going to win the WWE Championship back last week? I don't.
[Shawn throws away card]
Shawn Michaels: We only have one more left and we really haven't apologized to anybody yet.
Triple H: Yeah, that's my point.
Shawn Michaels: To Cade and Murdoch, for beating you within a inch of your life in the Street Fight, we would like to take this--
Triple H: You know what Shawn, that hasn't even happened yet...
[Shawn throws away the last card]
Triple H: We don't beat Cade and Murdoch to within an inch of their life in a Street Fight until later on tonight.
Shawn Michaels: Well, then what are we doing, what do we do now?
Triple H: Well, we're supposed to be cutting a promo on live TV.
Shawn Michaels: We're live...now?
Triple H: Now.
Shawn Michaels: Right now?
Triple H: Right. Now.
[Both look shocked and turn to stare at camera, then turn back]
Shawn Michaels: What, ah...what are we gonna do?
Triple H: Umm...Oh!
[Both bend down and pick up Degeneration X merchandise]
Shawn Michaels: Get all your Degeneration X merchandise on WWESHOP.COM!
[Shawn and Hunter give a thumbs up before running off in opposite directions, before coming back]
Triple H: And if you're not down with that,
Shawn Michaels: We've got two words for ya.
[Crowd: Suck it!]
Both: Thank you!
[Crowd: You're welcome!]

I'm The Game, that's the Cock!

[Raw 10/9/06: DX vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in a street fight]
Triple H: " Are you ready? I said are you ready? Then for the thousands in attendance and for the millions watching at home, and for Vince McMahon because earlier tonight we were supposed to apologize to alot of people for stuff we didn't really do, the fact is the only guy we did anything wrong to was Vince McMahon. And we feel bad about that so we decided to get Vince a present. And we chipped in together and we came up with something he would love, something he just couldn't get enough of. And, and the question was... we know what it is but where do you find one big enough to satisfy Vince McMahon? Ah ha, at the University of South Carolina, the home of Cocky.
Picture of Cocky appears on the TitanTron.
Triple H: Look at the size of that cock! I.. I.. see him on the tron, but he's supposed to come out here, where is he?"
Shawn: "Umm I was hopin' I would have a better time to tell ya this but apparently cocky has representation, and they weren't comfortable with uh... things the way they were and uh they said they had a lot riding on him and uh..."
Triple H: "Wait a minute hold on, wait a minute...
Crowd starts chanting:
Triple H: Hold on, hold on, I know its confusing, I'm the game, that's the cock... Wait now Shawn, what you're telling me is his manager said they have a lot riding on the cock?"
Shawn: "They, they said they weren't comfortable of him being with us and and he's.. he's..... he's not here."
Triple H: "So they pulled the cock? So the cock is out? All we were trying to do was give the cock some exposure! I mean, it's really frustrating, first he was in, then he was out, in, out, in, out, in, out! And that's an a shame too because, honestly, Vince would have loved him! Vince would have stroked him, and and rubbed him, hell, Vince would have kissed that cock right on his big red bloated head! But you know what Shawn, it's probably for the best. You know how angry Vince gets, how mad he gets. Cocky might have done something wrong and you know Vince wouldn't hesitate for a second to choke a chicken! I mean honestly, it's probably good. Because if he would have done something bad, Vince wouldn't hesitate to beat that cock like he owed him money! I guess...I guess we will never know the kind of love Vince and Cocky could have shared, but with that in mind, for Vince and for Cocky...Let's get ready to SUCK IT!"
Shawn: "And if your not down with that then we got two words for ya!"
Crowd: SUCK IT!

New Year's Revolution Trailer

Triple H: (reading the Declaration of Independence) All men are created equal...
Shawn Michaels: What are you doing with the Declaration of Independence?
Triple H: I got it out of this box right here.
Shawn Michaels: Don't you realize, these were men who made their own set of rules, just like us!
Triple H: Give me that!
Shawn Michaels: No! (the document is torn)
Triple H: What'd you do?
Shawn Michaels: I -- Look! The Liberty Bell! (both throw down the pieces)
(New Year's Revolution, Only on pay-per-view)
Triple H: Hold this. (giving HBK his hat)
Shawn Michaels: (shocked at HHH's bald head) Oh!
Triple H: What?
Shawn Michaels: Nothing!
(HHH hits the Liberty Bell with the sledgehammer)

One Night Only Return

Triple H: It's for one night only, hold on...But are you ready?...NO! I said ARE YOU READY?! Then, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching around the world...LLLL— (gets interrupted by Hornswoggle and Triple H starts to talk to him) All right, that's different. You need to go back under the ring. Yea, just go ahead, go under the ring. I don't think he understands what I'm saying. Shawn, he's not understanding me.You got the runsheet for the show?
Michaels: I've got, lets see, I've got HBK hats (throws HBK hat in the audience), Triple H hat (does the same with Triple H hat), HBK wrist bands (throws HBK wristband), DX glowsticks (throws DX glowsticks), which by the way are all available on WWEShop.com and on stands outside. Oh! runsheet, runsheet, hold on. (Takes out runsheet from his boot) I always carry the runsheet in my boot, in case I don't know what I'm doing.
Triple H: Forget your lines.
Michaels: Yeah.
Triple H: Hornswoggle, I want you to look carefully this. This is a runsheet for the show here tonight, okay. Now see right here with this sense, segment 1, at 9 O'clock. East Coast time. You see now it says DX promo right there but you don't see Hornswoggle listed on here anywhere. You know why, because you're not in it. You're not in this show until...(turns the page) right over here, see, the short segment.
Michaels: (Laughs) You get it. The short segment because you are small--(Hornswoggle attacks Michaels)
Triple H: Ladies and gentleman, that is the short arm scissors.
Michaels: I'm going to make a judgement call here but tonight, he's in, okay. He's in.
Triple H: I, I, I get it! You want to be in DX but it's not going to happen, you got to go back under the ring man. Go, just come on. (Hornswoggle shooks his head) Why not?
Hornswoggle: Monster!
Triple H: There's a monster under the ring? There's no mon- Shawn, do me a favour, just go out there and check and see if there's a monster under the ring so hell goes on.
Michaels: Alright. (Checks under the ring) No! Well, all clear. Everything is good. (Michaels goes under the ring and comes out with worms in his mouth) What?
Triple H: There's, uh...
Michaels: Yuck! (ECW's Boogeyman then comes out under the ring.)
Triple H: Okay...Yes, that is a leprechaun between my legs. (Seeing Hornswoggle between his legs) Can I...Can I help you?
Boogey Man: I'm the Boogeyman and I'm coming to see if I can join DX.
Michaels: Another executive decision, he, he's in too.
Triple H: What the hell? Get in line. You can never have enough minutes for the weirdos, you know what I'm saying. Everybody ready? LLLL— (gets interupted by SmackDown's The Great Khali and Runjin Singh and Triple H starts talking to Khali). Okay, I spoke too soon—
Michaels: Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait a minute. Before you even start with him, look, I know you're gonna go and everytime you go there, things don't work out well for me. Okay, so to keep me from being intruded to a human slim-jim, why don't we just pretend like he's not here and, and, and move on. Okay. We just, we just get to move on.
Triple H: Alright, let me guess, you want to be part of DX, get in the back. It's serious now, I told Shawn I won't screw out in this. (Triple H, then starts making fun of a guy from India, then starts talking normal) Alright, alright. Seriously now. All right, are you ready? LLLL— (gets interupted by Jonathan Coachman.)
Coachman: Enough! Enough! I am shutting this non sense down right now! These people came here tonight to see action, not you two do your little immature antics.
Triple H: I don't know who you think you're talking to, you better take base at your voice to it Jefferson. If you want to talk to us like that, maybe, just maybe I tell Ranjin to tell Khali what you were saying about him earlier.
Coachman: What, what are you talking about? I never said anything about...
Triple H: Oh yes you did. You know you did.
Coachman: No, no, no, I didn't.
Michaels: (Pointing at Coachman)Yeah.
Triple H: Oh yeah he did. Let me tell you Ranjin what Jonathan Coachman said about nice Mr giant Khali over here.
Michaels: (Once again pointing at Coachman) Yeah.
Triple H: He Said...(Whispers in Ranjin's ears) He did, he said it. Ask Shawn, you know Shawn can't lie. Did he Shawn? Shawn?
Michaels: Yes, it's exactly what he said.
Triple H: Tell him.
Michaels: Every bit of it is true. (Points at Coachman)
Coachman: Whatever he just said, I...
Triple H: (To Ranjin) Tell him.
Ranjin: (Starts talking to Khali in Hindi)
Coachman: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Big, big, big fella. They're, they're liars. You know I would never say anything about y—Oh woah!!! (Gets hit by Khali with his axe finisher)
Triple H: What the hell was all that?
Michaels: I gotta be honest with you. I feel like I'm getting a little old for this. I don't know who writes this garbage, but this is the worst debacle since that whole "Katie Vick" thing years ago.
Triple H: You got a good point. But the thing is, I don't think anybody writes this crap--they're on strike. (Pause) But we're not! LETS GET READY TO SUCK IT!
Michaels: And for one night only, if you're not down with that, L.A.'S GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA.
Triple H and the fans: SUCK IT!

800th Episode of RAW

Triple H: (Looking at the crowd) It's been a while since done this we forgot we got pyro. Anyway, Are you ready? (crowd cheers) NO TAMPA, I SAID, ARE! YOU! READY?! Then,
Michaels: (interrupts him) You know what? I'm not ready. I'm not ready, I can't do this. Look, I was watching ECW last week. Miz and Morrison, they were mocking us and er... it was pretty harsh. I think you want to see this. Pretty stiff.
(The clip shows the live edition of "Dirt Sheet" where Miz and Morrison is interviewing two imposters of DX and both Miz and Morrison beat the hell out of them. After the clip, both Triple H and Michaels were shocked and then look at each other and the screen and repeat it a few times)
Michaels: That could be us. You realize it that could be us. I mean...think about the genius in that they dressed up two guys that look just like us, okay, and they went out there and beat the tard out of them. That's revolution. That's innovative and that hasn't been done since...you know...like last week.
Thriple H: Actually no somebody did it on Seg 4.
Michaels: Good point. Good point. But I think what we really need to focus on more than anything else...did you notice the size of your NOSE? I mean I really step back noticing since we know each other for so long and probably gotten used to it but that thing was gigantic.
Triple H: (Flabbergasted) It's...It's not real....It's not really that big, it was that camera, that's ten pounds.
Michaels: How many cameras did they have on that thing. Besides, the part that sets me over the edge....they did the unforgivable...they mock the chaps, brother. I got news for ya, I put up a lot. You can mock my kids you can punch my wife in the face but I got news for ya nobody but nobody mock the chaps. That's when I draw the line.
Triple H: Mocking the chaps is crossing the line. (Shawn angrily takes of his hat) But I tell you what, the part that really made me mad...is when they started to get on you losing your hair (Shawn was shocked to hear it) There's no reason to go after you for going bald.
Michaels: (Interrupts him when he was talking about the bald spot)Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! (put on his hat back) I don't err...I don't recalled them saying about..you know... that situation like that.
Triple H: But I pretty sure...
Michaels: No! I was standing there watching with you!
Triple H: But I just...
Michaels: I don't think so.
Triple H: But they really talked to...
Michaels: Negative!! WE'LL NEVER SPEAK THIS AGAIN!!!
Triple H: Anyway, I think we can get through this Shawn. The thing is those guys said they were in high school when we just started.
Michaels: Stings a little bit. Stings.
Triple H: When we were out here revolutionizing this industry. (crowd cheer) They were... Well let's take a look.
(A picture of a younger Miz in black and white photo was on the screen)
Michaels: Ack!!!
Triple H: Now that is the Miz in highschool in his senior class picture and don't let him belittle you cause the Miz is quite an athetle. This is right after he took second in the Kentucky Derby. (Both of them sarcastically sighs and then he turns towards her) No offense Lilian. And then Morrison.
A picture of Morrison where he somehow got hung up the wall at the back of his shirt)
Triple H: Now here's John Morrison. Assuming of position the he will assume for years to come at rest stops all around the country. Those two guys to me, Shawn, looks like guys who got beat up every day at high school. And I tell you what, tonight is going to be no different. So Shawn, I ask you one more time. Are you ready?
Michaels: I'M READY!!!
Triple H: (To the crowd) Are you ready? (Crowd goes wild and then he says to the screen) Miz, are you ready?
(A clip of No Mercy 2006 where Miz was blindfolded on the chair dancing while not knowing a fat male stripped dancing around him as Miz assume it was a female chick)
Michaels: (After the clip he sits somewhere at the turnbuckle) I don't feel so well now.
Triple H: Then, for the thousands attending, for the millions watching around the world, and for Miz and Morrison, because the have a dream. No not to stand in the ring with D-generation X, No. They have a dream that one day they will be able to enjoy the same rights as any other couple in the United States. The right to be able to be married and start their own family. With that in mind, for Miz and Morrison. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...Lets get ready to SUCK ITTTTTTTTT!!!!
Michaels: And if you're not down with that...(it was interrupted by Miz and Morrison's theme music who are not to happy with the insult Dx make)


Triple H: " for the thousands in attendance, for the millions NOT watching at home... let's get ready to suck it!
Variation of the "Are you ready?" speech used at house shows

At a WWE house show in a match vs. the Spirit Squad
Triple H: GIMME A G!
Crowd: G!
Triple H: GIMME AN A!
Crowd: A!
Triple H: GIMME A Y!
Crowd: Y!
Triple H: What does that spell?
Crowd: GAY!!
Triple H: (To the Spirit Squad) That's you.
Crowd laughs hysterically as the Spirit Squad start fuming around their side of the ring

Variation of the "Are you ready?" speech used at Venegance
Triple H: Are you ready? I SAID ARE YOU READY?! Then, for the thousands attending, for the millions watching at home...
Triple H & Shawn Michaels: ONLY on Pay-Per-View...
Triple H: Let's get ready to suck it!

Triple H: At SummerSlam, we are going to kick your ass. Bring whoever you want, we don't care. Someone from the street, we don't care. The 101st Airbourne Division, we don't care, Satan himself..we'll look the devil dead in his eye, spit him in his face and tell him the exact thing we're about to tell you

Triple H: It's been a long time since someone has made us taste our own blood. For that Vince, we have two words for you... Thank you. Thank you for reminding us just who the hell we are.
D-X storms the ring

DX at ECW on SciFi
Shawn Michaels: Do you think this is the right place?
Triple H looks around to see an ECW crew member
Triple H: Bingo! This is it!

Triple H: Vince, we know you're angry; your concern is valid; after all, last night, you tossed Big Show's salad.
Shawn Michaels: D'oooohhhhhhhh!!!
Triple H: We beat you up; you almost kicked the bucket; and if you're not down with that, then we've just got two words for ya...
Crowd & DX: SUCK IT!!!
[The both of them spraypaint DX on the camera before walking off in separate directions; Triple H walks across the screen heading in Shawn Michaels' direction two seconds later]
This is the first time Shawn said suck it since DX reunited

Outside of the Spirit Squad's locker room.
Triple H: These guys are so gay.
Shawn smirks for just a moment.
Shawn Michaels: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Shawn Michaels: Were we really a ripoff of the nWo?
Triple H: Well, Shawn, I look at it like this; it's like some old man said...He who laughs last laughs best.
[The both of them do an impersonation of Dr. Evil's laugh scene, then sigh contentedly]

Triple H: So uh when are you gonna write a book?
Chris Masters: You know I was actually gonna write up a book on nutrition
Triple H: Oh. What are you going to call it? How to lose 50 pounds in 4 weeks?

This was a reference at Chris Master's drastic physique change after rehab for steroid abuse and return to the ring.

After Rated RKO's parody of D-X
DX's theme music hits; both Triple H and Shawn Michaels have dumbfounded looks on their faces as they walk to the ring before smirking
Shawn Michaels: Now...before we get started, you've got to tell me (To Triple H). Do I look like that much of an idiot when we come out together?
Triple H: Shawn, I'm not going to lie to you.
Triple H promptly starts talking to Edge & Randy Orton
Triple H: What are you guys doing? I...I don't get it where you're coming from with this whole thing...mad at us...you're two of the biggest superstars in the history in the WWE. (Both Edge and Randy are flattered)
Triple H talks directly to Randy Orton
Triple H: You're the Legend Killer, Randy Orton. The youngest WWE Champion ever. (Randy is more happy about it, arrogantly)
Triple H the talks directly to Edge
Triple H: You're the Rated R Superstar, Edge. Two time WWE Champion. (Edge too is happy, arrogantly)
Triple H: And yet, for some reasons you guys feel like we think you're...jokes. It's wrong. We don't think anybody here thinks that...(to the crowd) Honestly, does anybody here thinks that these two are jokes? (Crowd reacted sarcastically)
Triple H: We don't...and after all, remember that time he(Edge) did that live sex show.
Shawn Michaels: Oh yeah, that's right. You, Edge are like the highest Rated Superstar in all television. Your segment here on Monday night RAW was the highest rated program are like...forever!(Edge nods arrogantly)
Triple H & Shawn Michaels:..Ever!
Triple H: That live sex show was the biggest thing...even if you couldn't actually rise to the occasion. (Triple H pointed to the Titantron showing the picture of Edge half naked in boxer shorts while Lita is in a downward position doing a foreplay on Edge. Edge is upset of seeing it.)
Triple H: Actually, in all fairness to Lita she was able to get him half aroused. (Shawn Michaels whispered to Triple H)
Triple H: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that's actually fully aroused. (Randy and Edge are arguing at each other) Hey, but in all fairness to you, it was a really cold day that day, you people got to account for shrinkage, if you know what I mean. Honestly.(Crowd laughs)
Triple H: And you Randy, you're one of the biggest superstars ever in the WWE. You're an icon(Triple H addresses the crowd) Hey, did you people know that Randy Orton is the No.1 download superstar in the WWE on the whole World Wide Web? (Randy Orton was obviously flattered and starts gesturing arrogantly)
Shawn Michaels: On the whole World Wide Web
Randy Orton: (making a world pose) The whole World Wide Web.
Triple H: Yeah, well...At least within the gay community. (Crowd laughs and Randy Orton begin to realize and embarrassed to hear it) It's actually a fact that if you go to any search engine and put in, RANDY ORTON GAY COMMUNITY, (the camera shows Randy not to happy about it) you're gonna get all kinds of stuff, at least from what I have been told. Things like...like this. (Triple H pointed to the Titantron showing a picture of Randy Orton naked with a towel below his waist in front view much to Randy's shock)
Triple H: Or like this one ( Another picture of Randy Orton naked with a towel this time on back view)
Randy Orton: (Obviously embarassed) Hey, hold one just a minute!
Triple H: No No No No. Or like this. (This time it's Shawn Michaels half naked picture that came out in Playgirl Magazine)
Crowd goes into a frenzy
Shawn Michaels (Shocked and embarassed): Did you put that in there???!!!
Triple H: I..I dunno where that thing...
Shawn Michaels: I was young ! I was stupid! ...You told me GIRLS bought that magazine!
Triple H: Calm down, Shawn! Calm down! Calm down!
Shawn Michaels: Moving on! Moving on!
Triple H: Hang on! I got plently of pictures! Show the one of Orton with the midget and the jellybean!
Randy Orton: (Snapped and had it with them) OK, guys, that's it! Enough is enough! The joke's over! Hunter, I want you tonight!
Triple H : Easy, cowboy. You might want me, but I don't swing to that side of the plate! You know what I'm saying?
(Crowd laughs)
Edge: Hey! Hey! That's not what he means! What he means is that he wants you in this ring so he can beat your ass!
Triple H: (Looking confused) What did you say he wants to do to my ass!? (Crowd laughes more louder)
Shawn Michaels:(Trying to act as a peacemaker) Look guys. Cooler heads should prevail here. This kind of rhetoric won't bring us anywhere.
Randy Orton: Shut your mouth! Shut your mouth! Hunter, let's get serious. I was the youngest World Heavyweight champion and you're just jealous. If you have the guts, then prove it. Face me here, one on one, in this ring, tonight!
Triple H: So,let me get this straight. You wanna fight me, right here? (Gets closer to Randy Orton and meets him eye to eye)
Triple H: You're ON!!!!
Shawn Michaels: And boys. If you actually think that you can kill the legend that is D-Generation X, we've just got two wor--( Edge started to punch Shawn and the brawl between DX and Rated RKO ensued in the ring. Edge and Orton retreated as DX music played)
Later, before Triple H's match with Randy Orton
Triple H: Then, for the thousands in attendence, for the millions watching at home.
Triple H: And for Randy Orton. Because even though he might have an alternative life style, there's nothing wrong with that by the way. He's still about to get his ass kicked. LETS GET READY TO SUCK ITTTT!!

Todd: Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Degeneration X!
[Crowd cheers, Todd looks for DX]
[DX slowly appear from bottom of the screen, pretending they're in a elevator]
Todd: Uh, hey guys, uh earlier tonight I was speaking with Edge and Randy Orton and they said last week on RAW it was typical DX, chair shots, low-blows and crotch chops.
Shawn Michaels: Yeah, well Todd, they forgot one very important thing.. Wristbands.. and Hats.. and shirts..
Triple H: Uh, Shawn that's uh.. that's three things, and it's very typical, I mean what are you going to do next? Are you going to tell us all this fine Degeneration X mechandise is availible at WWESHOP.COM?
[Both turn and smile at camera]
Todd: They also mentioned that tonight during your match there was gonna be three impartial..
Shawn Michaels: Nu uh, ha! Now that's typical. You know.. have you ever noticed that the guys that do all the talking about the "Best in the Industry" always seem to live up to it, the least.
[Triple H looks confused]
Shawn Michaels: What are we gonna do about this?
Triple H: Well Shawn, there's, there's a number of things we could do, hey maybe like a plethora of things, a regular cornucopia, of things that we could do, but typically what we would do is just go out there and kick their ass anyways..
[Crowd cheers]
Triple H: Because see, the fact is Edge and Orton it really doesn't matter who you bring or, how many you bring because, typically we just have two words for ya.
[Crowd: Suck it!]
[Triple H presses the 'button' and both him and Shawn go down the 'elevator']
[Shawn comes back up]
Shawn Michaels: So typical..
[Shawn shakes his head and presses the 'button' continuously]
Shawn Michaels: Stupid elevator! I'll take the stairs..
[Shawn goes down the 'staircase']

On Eric Bischoff
Triple H: I didn't wanna bring this up, but he said that we don't even know the meaning of the word "controversial".
Shawn Michaels: What!? Us!? We don't know the meaning of the word controversial!?
Triple H: Well, not much less me; it was mostly you.
Shawn Michaels: What!? Are you kidding me!? I'm the one who put Bret Hart in the Sharpshooter, you know! And you, you!? You know controversy; you married, um, What's-Her-Name!? I can't believe this!
Triple H: I know, I know! But he said it; we don't know the meaning of the word "controversial".
Shawn Michaels: Whaddya mean we don't know controversy!?
[The both of them ramble on for a few seconds, than HBK turns his attention to someone else.
Shawn Michaels: You! Buddy! What's your name?
Person: Stan.
Shawn Michaels: Stan. [Sweet Chin Music] See!? I just kicked Stan!
Triple H: Calm down, Shawn!
Shawn Michaels: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!! NOBODY TELLS ME [Storms off] THAT I DON'T KNOW CONTROVERSY!! YOU GOTTA BE Superkicks another random person in the hall KIDDIN' ME!! I'M JUST SICK OF PEOPLE TELLING Superkicks another random individual in the hall ME WHAT I KNOW AND WHAT I DON'T KNOW! I KNOW CONTROVERSY! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Continues storming off
Triple H: Laughing I don't know if that's controversial, but it sure as hell is funny.

later that night after Triple H's part of the enterence speech

Shawn Michaels: And if your not down with that,(pauses)
crowd: We've got two words for ya! Suck it!
Triple H: You've got to wait for us! You can't go on without us! This is shawn's big part!
Shawn Michaels: I never get my stuff in!

Coach has put a $10,000 bounty on D-X, so D-X are on guard all night
Shawn Michaels: I eat when I'm nervous!
Eugene: (knocking on the door. Shawn opens door) Hi. Um I'm here for the bounty.
Shawn Michaels: Ok.(shuts door) It's Eugene. He's here for the bounty.(Triple H gets a roll of paper towels)
Triple H: You here for the bounty?
Eugene: Yeah!
Triple H: Here you go(hands him the paper towels)it's the quicker picker upper!
Michaels shuts the door on Euegene.
Shawn Michaels: I'm tellin' ya I'm gonna weigh 400 pounds at the end of the night! I eat when I get nervous!
Eugene knocks again. Shawn opens door again
Eugene: No!(throws paper towels down and tries to punch Shawn. Shawn closes door and Eugene hits door.) OW! That hurt!
Eugene knocks once more and runs at DX, but crashes through a table.
Shawn Michaels: Heh 400 pounds, I'm gonna weigh 600 pounds!
Later on that night
Triple H: All this has seen to upset my stomach.
Shawn Michaels: I know! That's why I'm eating so much.
Triple H repeats what he says. Shawn says the same thing
Triple H: Shawn, I gotta go.
Shawn Michaels: Huh?
Triple H: I goota poop.
Shawn Michaels: Oh okay.
HHH walks into the bathroom stall. Chris Masters is waiting there ready to ambush him.
HHH: Geez, what's a guy gotta do to get some privacy around here?....yell
HHH and Masters begin to fight.
Michaels: Hey, you okay in there?
HHH walks out of the stall
Michaels: How you feelin'?
HHH: I feel much better now.
HBK looks in to see Masters laid out next to the toilet.
Michaels: Holy cow, you crapped a Masterpiece!

Fed up with all of the attacks on them, D-X have decided to leave the arena. Triple H pulls Coach over to one side
HHH: I was wondering, since we've basically taken ourselves out... Do we get the bounty?
Coach: No.
Shawn Michaels has taken the bounty anyway

D-X on Cryme Time
Triple H: I don't understand a word of what they're saying!
Shawn Michaels: Just hold this!(hands him briefcase)Let me handle this - I speak jive.

After leaving the arena and "claiming" the bounty, D-X scalped tickets to get back in to the arena for Lita's match
Shawn Michaels: (Chanting) LITA' IS A ...
Triple H with Some of the Crowd: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Edge's music hits after D-X cost Lita a match
Triple H: (Sarcastically) Oh no!

During Monday Night RAW (Survivor Series Participants Stand Off)
Triple H: If there's one team who's ready to slug it out tonight, it's none other than Team D-Generation X. And we're gonna whip the asses of the other team right there (Pointing towards the Team of Rated RKO) together with the Village People! (Referring to the other members of Team Rated RKO which were Johnny Nitro with Melina, Gregory Helms and Mike Knox)
Crowd burst into laughter

At the Survivor Series, just after DX has entered the arena. The crowd begins to chant CM Punk heavily
Triple H: Yes, that's right, CM Punk, who needs one question answered!
CM Punk: Philedelphia....Are you ready?
Crowd cheers wildly
crowd cheers wildly once more
Triple H: Then for the thousands in attendance- for the millions watching at home...and for this team...because the array of talent that is in this ring- YOU GOT THE FUTURE OF ECW...CM PUNK! YOU GOT TEAM EXTREME IN THE HARDY BOYZ! AND YOU GOT THE HEARTBREAK KID AND THE GAME, D-GENERATION X- FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY IN THE SURVIVOR SERIES, AND PHILADELPHIA, YOU ARE ON FIRE! SO.....LETS GET READY TO SUCK IT!!!!!!!
Shawn Michaels: And of course, if you're not down with that then Philly's got TWO WORDS FOR YA!
Crowd: SUCK IT!!

After eliminating Mike Knox in the Survivor Series match
Shawn Michaels: Who was that?
Matt Hardy: That was Mike Knox
Shawn Michaels: Who?
Jeff Hardy: That ECW guy.
Shawn Michaels: He works here?
Triple H: Yeah, he's from ECW.
Shawn Michaels: He was in the match up?
Triple H: Yeah he was in the match up.
Matt Hardy:He was,he's not anymore.
CM Punk: Yeah.
Shawn Michaels: Oh, so we're doing good now?

Triple H before singles match against Randy Orton with Edge as the special guest referee
Triple H : Are you ready?... NO!! I said...ARE!!! YOU--
Hits Edge on the head with the microphone, followed by a Pedigree
Triple H: [Shrugs] I guess he wasn't ready! Get this crap out of my ring.

During the disbandment of the Spirit Squad
Triple H: Wait a minute...we're using..."OPS"??
Shawn Michaels: Yeah; the other guys cost an arm and a leg. This is cheaper.

To Dusty Rhodes and Arn Anderson
Shawn Michaels: This is going to be an awesome party!! I've set up the ginger ale, soda, chips, dip, and, I wanted to save this for later... (He looks around surreptitiously) but I brought a KARAOKE MACHINE!!!!!!!! This is gonna be awesome!!
(Shawn walks away)
Triple H (Shakes head, then looks at Arn and Dusty): Guys, I got two words for ya: Booze, and broads.
Ron Simmons walks up, and stands there for several seconds
Ron Simmons: Damn!

(takes place a week before the Survivor Series PPV)

(After team DX comes out to talk to Team Rated RKO)
Shawn Michaels: Let's go! Let's start the Royal Rumble right now!
Crowd laughs; everyone else looks at Shawn
Fan: That's in January!
(Triple H whispers someting into Shawn's ear)
Shawn Michaels: OK, that could work, too. Let's start Survivor Series now!

After DX won in a Texas Tornado Match being set up by Jonathan Coachman
Coach: NO! NO! NO! Cut that music!
Crowd boos Coach
Coach: You're already raising your hands? You think you've already won?
Coach: (Pauses while the crowd jeering him) You may have won the battle but you're still far from winning the war. I run this show! I'm the one running Monday night!
Triple H: So, let me get this straight. You run this show? What if we walk down there, throw your ass out of this building then we run the show? (Crowd cheers wildly) Matter of fact, I think that's a hell of an idea.
DX goes down from the ring and starts to chase Coach and Coach retreated.

DX outside the office of Coach whose hiding inside his office.
Triple H: (Knocks on the door and changes his voice) Room service. Room service. You want me fluff fluff your pillow? -refrence to the movie Tommy Boy
Coach: (Inside the office) DX!? I know that's you! There's no way I'm opening this door! No way!
Shawn Michaels: (Knocks on the door and changes his voice) Land shark. -refrence to a Classic SNL skit
Triple H: Candygram. (Triple H pauses) Alright, Coach, open this door. What is it you're doing in there? What exactly are you doing that you don't want us to see you doing? I'm warning you Coach, I know what you're doing, and if you don't stop it you're going to go blind. (Crowd burst into laughter) Shawn told me to tell you that's a sin.
After a few seconds DX left

During An Interview with Todd Grisham
Shawn Michaels: I know what you're gonna say - what are you gonna do Shawn, how are you gonna face such Impossible Odds - impossible odds mean absolutely You've got nothing to lose, it's just the way I wanted... tonight maybe the end of D-Generation X but if it is, I am not going down alone (grabs Todd by the suit) I AM NOT GOING DOWN ALONE!!! I may go down but I'm going down IN A BLAZE OF GLORY and I'm gonna take absolutely everyone I can with me!
HBK SuperKicks Todd Grisham

During another interview with Todd Grisham; John Cena is also being interviewed
Shawn Michaels: (To Cena) With that said, there's something we need to get out of the way, right here, right now.
Both men drop their title belts and stare at each other
Shawn Michaels: You need to get yourself...(Immediately looks to camera and pulls out New and Improved DX DVD) The New and Improved DX DVD! It goes on sale tomorrow night and is also available on WWEShop.com! Buy! Buy! Buy!