The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.James Branch Cabell
David Javier O'Doherty (born Dublin 1975) is an Irish stand-up comedian.
- My name is David O'Doherty. But that won't be the title of my autobiography. To try and sell a few more units, I'm going to call it "Harry Potter and the Da Vinci Book of Sudoku".
- I've always considered the star rating to be fundamentally ridiculous. Stars are celestial and infinite. They are not out of five. Two-and-a-half stars! What the fuck's a half star? It's a black hole! Move away! One star. Jesus only had one star over his stable on the first Christmas night. It's a good thing the Three Wise Men weren't comedy aficionados. They would have seen it and gone "well that's probably quite disappointing".
- This is the best feature in this car. See, if you want to create the illusion you’re wearing a baseball cap, without actually wearing a baseball cap. You can just have that there and just hover your head underneath it like that. Hey, ladies- I’ve got a baseball cap on…Whatever. I’m a movie director………..But I don’t!
- We’ll just have to pretend we’re on holidays, but that will be hard because in that scene 2 people are dressed in Victorian costume. But we’ll just pretend that we’re, you know, Amish people on holidays.