Dogma is a 1999 film about two renegade angels, banished for eternity to Wisconsin, who find a "loophole" that may allow them to return to Heaven. Unbeknownst to them, their reentry threatens to destroy the universe, forcing Heaven to mobilize forces to stop them.
- Written and directed by Kevin Smith.
- Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.
- Now, Through the Looking Glass, that poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and good nature, obviously represents either Buddha or, with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha — that takes care of your eastern religions. Now, the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the western religions. Now, in the poem what do they do? What do they do? They dupe all these oysters into following them, and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. Now, I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of fear of some intangible parent figure, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says "Do it, do it and I'll fucking spank you!"
- The lesson must be taught. All are accountable... even God.
- The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined.
- PA Announcer: [at St. Michael's hospital] I repeat: this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion.
- Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.
- Bethany: Why doesn't God speak for Himself?
- Metatron: Glad you decided to join the conversation. To answer that: human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
- Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
- Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin.
- Bethany: Hey — what's He like?
- Metatron: God?... Lonely, but funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex, for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
- Bethany: Sex is a joke in Heaven?
- Metatron: The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too.
- Bethany: You were martyred?
- Rufus: Well, that's one way of putting it. Another way is to say I was bludgeoned to shit by big fucking rocks.
- Bethany: What's He like?
- Rufus: He likes to listen to people talk. I remember the old days when we were sittin' around the fire. You know, whenever we were goin' on about unimportant shit, He'd always have a smile on his face. His only real beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism. The big one though, is the factioning of the religions. He said, "Mankind got it all wrong by takin' a good idea and building a belief structure out of it."
- Bethany: So you're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
- Rufus: I just think it's better to have an idea. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier. People die for it, people kill for it.
- Cardinal Glick: Mass attendance is at an all-time low in this country. But if we can let 'em know the Catholic church has a little panache, we can win 'em back — even get some new ones. Excuse me. [he practice-putts a golf ball into an overturned chalice] Fill them pews, people! That's the key. Grab the little ones as well. Hook 'em while they're young.
- Rufus: Kind of like the tobacco industry?
- Cardinal Glick: Christ, if only we had their numbers.
- Get 'touched' by an angel.
- It Can Be Hell Getting Into Heaven
- Faith is a funny thing.
- Prepare Thyself.
- Look out Below
- Ben Affleck - Bartleby
- Matt Damon - Loki
- Linda Fiorentino - Bethany Sloane
- Alan Rickman - Metatron
- Chris Rock - Rufus, the 13th Apostle
- Jason Lee - Azrael
- Salma Hayek - Serendipity
- Jason Mewes - Jay
- Kevin Smith - Silent Bob
- George Carlin - Cardinal Glick
- Janeane Garofolo - Liz
- Alanis Morissette - God