Dude, Where's My Car?

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Dude, Where's My Car? is a 2000 film about two potheads who wake up from a night of partying and can't remember where they parked their car.

Directed by Danny Leiner. Written by Philip Stark
After a night they can't remember, comes a day they'll never forget.

Jesse Montgomery

  • I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games!
  • Wait a second, let's recap. Last night, we lost my car, we accepted stolen money from a transsexual stripper, and now some space nerds want us to find something we can't pronounce. I hate to say it, Chester, but maybe we need to cut back on the shibbying. [Chester slaps him] Thanks, dude.
  • I do not want to go down in history as the guy who destroyed the universe.
  • I'm sensing something very Canadian about this place.
  • Screw Ze Universe!


  • Mark: E-mail me ok "Freakincage.com"
  • Mark: Wow, I said brown.
  • Totally Gay Nordic Dudes: We will now use the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner to banish you to Hoboken, New Jersey.
  • Chinese restaurant drive-thru lady: And then..


Jesse: Dude, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?
Jesse: DUDE, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?

Jesse: Who's Johnny Potsmoker?
Chester: Oh ,that's my alter ego.
Jesse: Wait, I thought Johnny Potsmoker was MY alter ego.
Chester: No. Yours is Smokey McPot.
Jesse: Oh yeah.

Jesse: Wait a second. I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Chester: Maybe you should go sit on the toilet?
Jesse: No. No. You know what the feeling is? It's love!
Chester: Is that what that is?
Jesse: Yeah, I'm in love with Wanda and you're in love with Wilma.
Chester: Yeah!
Jesse: You see. Now that we know that we've been sucky boyfriends... we can change.
Chester: We can?
Jesse: Yeah! And you know what else? I'll bet you that we did buy them super cool anniversary gifts. You know why? Coz we love them.
Chester: And we wrapped them really cool wrapping paper?
Jesse: Yeah. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna go down the impound lot and get the car...
Chester: ...which has the gifts in it...
Jesse: ...and then we're gonna go over to the twins house and beg for them to take us back!
Chester: Yeah! Let's do it!
Jesse: Oh, no, hold on. I gotta take a crap.
Chester: Told you.
Jesse: I know.
Chester: I know your body.

Jesse: Nelson, your dog's a stoner!
Chester: Can he also bong a beer?
Nelson: Nah, all he does is pretty much lie around and smoke his pipe.

Jesse: Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?
Chester: [opens cupboard] I'd say it's entirely possible.

Chester: How wasted were we last night?
Jesse: Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.

Chester:Sense memory simulated perception altered consciences memory retrieval. Discovery Channel.
Jesse: Nice.


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