Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy

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I used to trouble about what life was for—now being alive seems sufficient reason.
Joanna Field
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Contents

Season 1

The Ed-Touchables

[Edd hears the doorbell, but when he goes over to answer the door, there's no-one about. This happens multiple times]
Edd [again, answering the door]: Now, please!
[A bucket of water lands on Edd's head, causing him to go upstairs to get himself cleaned up. The doorbell goes off again and Edd answers the door, only to be hit by a fish. Again, Edd cleans himself up and goes over to answer the door. Fortunately, Eddy is already there]
Eddy: Hey, Edd. What took you so long?
Edd: Oh, hello, Eddy. Was that you ringing my doorbell.
Eddy: Who, me? Na!

[Using a squirt gun, Eddy squirts water on top of Plank, making Jonny desperate for the bathtroom]
Jonny: OK, I've stolen everybody's stuff! now let me go, I gotta go to the bathroom!
Eddy: You heard him, boys! Case closed!

[Jonny's tied on a truck-tire while the Eds count their money]

Eddy: Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?
Ed and Edd: Jawbreakers!
Eddy: And away we g--
[Sarah and Jimmy get in his way]
Sarah: Now just a rotten minute! I found my dolly, under my bed!
Jimmy: It's true, and here she is, see?
[Edd interrupts]
Edd: Excuse me, Eddy. Upon a further inspection of my person, I seem to have come across [holds up a magnifying glass] my magnifying glass!
[Despite all this, both Ed and Edd are still up for having jawbreakers. Meanwhile, Sarah and Jimmy have the truck-tire that Jonny's still stuck in on top of a hill]
Sarah: Eddy think he's so smart! [to Jonny] We know you didn't do it, Jonny. [Jonny starts to moan] Don't worry, Jonny. This won't hurt a bit. [pushes Jonny down the hill]
(The Eds are slurping jawbreakers)
Eddy: This is good.

Nagged To Ed

[The Eds are in the rainforest, only to hear mysterious, yet haunting voices]
Kankers [Off-screen]: Ed, Edd and Eddy, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Edd: Hmm, Hub Cap Digest. [opens book] ...This book has no print. These pages are blank!!

Ed: [stuck to a giant spider web] Help me, guys!! I don't want the fluids drained from my body!!

Over Your Ed

Eddy: Ladies and gentlemen...
Ed [excited]: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
Eddy: Come buy our delicious...
Ed: COME BUY OUR DECIDUOUS... [normal voice] Oh.
Eddy: Energy drink.
Ed: Hello!!

Ed: Is sitting naked in a wagon cool?
Eddy: No, skunk-pits, it isn't.

[Eddy takes Ed and Edd to his bedroom closet]
Eddy: Welcome to my closet of dreams!

Pop Goes the Ed

[The Eds are spying on a bee hive]
Eddy: Okay, boys. It's time for the welcome wagon to pay a visit.

[The Eds are crawling on sand as if they're stranded in a desert]
Eddy: W-W-W-W-Water! [sand comes out of his mouth]
Edd: H2O, please.
Ed: Gravy.
Eddy: I'm frying. [All three Eds collapse] The fat lady just sang, boys.
Ed: My life is flashing before my eyes.
Eddy: What life?

Eddy: Hey Kev! Where are you going?
Kevin: To Nazz's Sprinkler Party, stupid!
Eddy [to himself]: Sprinkler party?
[Eddy gives off a smile]
Kevin: You're not invited!

[Eddy is showing Ed and Edd a box containing three swimsuits]
Edd: My word. They look like napkins.
Ed: Cool box, Eddy.

Sarah: Get your big butt off the sprinkler!
[Ed sprinkles the water in Sarah's face]
Sarah: Oooh, you little!
[People are getting ready to eat at the table]
Jimmy: What is that?
Rolf: Stuffed pig's head. A favorite in my country.
Jimmy: Well, I brought a quiche, [shows it closer to Rolf] Mmmmm, Yummy!
Rolf: It's the food of the-- [he babbles with his mouth using his finger] The party is cursed!!
[Jimmy starts crying]
Sarah: Don't worry, Jimmy. I like quiche.

[The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off]
Eddy: Quick! Act natural.
[The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive]
Sarah: Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!
Eddy: No it isn't!
Sarah: Yes it is!
Ed: We are not moving.
Sarah: Ed! Get lost!
Eddy: Hit the road! [splashes at Sarah and Jimmy] Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!
Jimmy: Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone.
Edd: Well, that was close.
[Nazz then comes over]
Nazz: Hi there. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you?
Eddy: Er, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond.
Nazz: *laughter* You're funny.
[Nazz walks away]
Ed: What third nipple? Show me where it is.
Eddy [Whilst pointing to one of Ed's nipples]: It's right here!
Edd [points to the cake]: Look.
[A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some]
Eddy: [whilst dragging Ed back into the pool] Get down! Are you nuts?!

Sir Ed-a-Lot

[Eddy is seen washing a rather cool-looking car. Jonny walks by]
Eddy: Hey, Jonny boy!
Jonny: Hi, Eddy. Nice car.
[Rolf stops by]
Rolf: Hello, Eddy. May we shop for meat in your fancy car?
Eddy: Keep dreamin', Rolf.
[Rolf walks away whilst Nazz and Kevin stop to notice the car]
Eddy [Already inside the car]: Hi, Nazz.
Nazz: Wow, Eddy! Cool car!
Kevin: Hey dork! Whose car is this, twerp?!
[Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]
Eddy: Hey!

Sarah: As I was saying, I am the queen! [smacks the table]
Ed: And we are your servients.
Eddy [talking about Sarah]: Next thing you know she'll want a throne!
[Sarah is then seen, sat on a tower of chairs, obviously representing a throne]
Eddy: A toast to my big mouth!

[Sarah blames Eddy for their loss in the horse race to Ed and Jimmy]
Sarah: You lost, horsey!! [tapping at Eddy's head] Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Eddy [getting up] This stinks!
Sarah: To the dungeon with him!
[Jimmy laughs at Eddy's predicament]
Eddy [sarcastically]: The dungeon, oh no, I'm so scared!
[Eddy breaks into laughter whilst Sarah pulls a leaver]
Sarah: Bye-bye.
[A "cage" is seen dropping on top of Eddy]
Eddy: Ed, get me out! Ed! Double D!
Sarah: Bring me my fool!
Ed: Ok, sister.
Eddy: Spoiled brat.
Ed: Please, Eddy, play along. (releases the cage) Here's the fool!
Eddy: (pointing) No way! (Ed puts a fool's hat on Eddy)
Ed: Eddy's a great fool, (hugs Eddy) arentcha Eddy?
Eddy: I said no way!
Sarah: Bad baby sitter! (pointing) I'm telling mom you left me all alone!
Ed: But I won't get paid! (covers his head)
Eddy: Did you say 'paid'? You're getting paid? I'm with ya, pal!
(Edd sounds the trumpet)

[Eddy tries to entertain Sarah and Jimmy as a jester. He tells a joke to his puppet named Eddo]
Eddy: Hey, Eddo. What's a ghost's favorite lunch meat? [As Eddo] Boo-loney!

[Eddy turns to Ed for advice]
Eddy [whispering]: She has no taste! I used all my best stuff!
Ed: Don't give up now, Eddy. (He throws Eddy)
Sarah: Well?
(Eddy gets back up, takes out a magician's hat and pulls out Edd; Jimmy throws a pie at him)
Ed: Here, Eddy. Juggle this stuff, I'll get more. (Hands Eddy a lot of items)
Eddy: More?!

A Pinch To Grow an Ed

[Edd shows Eddy his new device in growing tall]
Edd: Behold, walking braces! You'll become a giant among the low-ground!
Eddy: (shoves them off his face) Do I look like a clown?
Ed: (lifts him up) C'mon, Eddy. Put 'em on!
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna wear your stupid boots!
Edd: But, Eddy, they'll make you taller.
Eddy: (plainly convinced) Taller? (Ed shoves the boots on Eddy's feet)

Read All About Ed

[Eddy is rudely awaken by Rolf, who is mowing his lawn with a tractor]
Rolf [misunderstood]: Good morning, Ed-boy. Nice haircut.
[Eddy continues to rant at Rolf]

[Eddy decides to sleep on the pavement. Edd walks by, who is doing a newspaper round]
Edd: Good morning, Eddy! Eddy?
Eddy [just waking up]: Get outta my room, Double-D.
Edd: I'm outside, Eddy. I've got a paper round.

[Ed picks up Eddy's bed from the pile of newspapers]
Ed: Heavy ink, I think! [laughter]
[Ed malfunctions the machine by throwing the bed into it]
Edd: Oh dear!
Eddy: My bed!
Ed: It's too early for bed. [Ed looks down on the machine] Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

[The rain has just stopped]
Edd: Summer rains, you can never predict them. [The rain comes back again, then stops whilst the Eds continue to collect the papers] Summer rains, you can never... [The rain kicks in again] predict them. [The rain stops again] Summer rains...
Eddy: Double D!
[A fresh batch of papers drops on top of the Eds]
Ed: Hey look, a horoscope! [reading the newspaper] "New enterprise fails to meet expectations." What's that mean?

Quick Shot Ed

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]
Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!
Eddy: Smile!

Eddy: Ahhhh! Plank's gone mad!
Ed and Edd: Ya-a-ah! Plank's gone mad! Aaah!

[The Eds attempt to take a photo of Nazz whilst she's doing an aerobic workout]
Edd: Some animals put on a display to attract the attention of a suitable mate.
Ed [looking though the window]: Ooh. Wow. TV!!
Eddy: Whoa! [Eddy attempts to take the photo, but loses balance] Will you guys hold still?
[The tree branch that the Eds are stood on breaks, causing them to fall. During their fall, Eddy accidentally takes a photo of himself]
The Eds: Ar-r-r-r-r-r-gh!!
[Nazz hears the crash, but doesn't see anyone. The Eds are left lying on the ground, with a photo coming out of Eddy's mouth]

An Ed Too Many

[The Eds are looking for a four-leaved clover]
Ed: 1, 2, 3...no. [picks up another clover] 1, 2... [Ed is suddenly distracted by a caterpillar that's slithering on his hand] Hello.

[Edd looks at his belly, indicating that he's hungry]
Ed': I'm hungry.
Eddy: Lets go to my place and make some pizza.
Edd: I'll make the sauce.
Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.

Eddy: Ed, stop eating all the cheese!
Ed [with mouth full]: Cheese, Swiss.
Eddy: Pepperoni, Italian. [gives Ed a cheese grater]
Ed: Slicer, aluminum.

[Eddy feels as though he's not getting any good luck from his four-leaved clover. Jonny and Plank stumble upon it]
Jonny: Look, Plank a four-leaved clover. [stumbles upon a $20 bill] Whoa! Look, Plank! A $20 bill!
[Eddy notices Jonny's find]
Eddy: Wait! That's our luck.
Edd: That's always our luck.
[They soon hear Ed's belly rumbling again]
Ed: I'm hungry.

Ed-n-Seek

[The kids discuss with each other about the Eds' involvement in Hide-n-Seek]
Jimmy [to the Eds]: Alright. You can play.
The Eds: YEAHH!!!
[The Eds jump up in happiness]
Kevin: But you have to be it.
[The Eds stop in mid-air]
Eddy: Hmm. Piece of cake.

[The Eds start counting at the home base, which is in the form of a tree]
Ed: 1, 2, got some glue. [the kids run off to hide] 3, 4, at this store. 5, 6, it really stinks.
Eddy: ...74, 75, 100. Ready or not! Here we come! [To himself] I know exactly where to look...
The Kids: HOME FREE!!
[The Eds turn around to see that the kids have already made it back to home base]
Sarah: Guess you're it again!

[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]

Jimmy: ...81, 82, 83...
Eddy: ...24, 25, 26...
Jimmy: ...27, 28, 29...
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is the Eds' hiding spot]
Eddy: Ha! This is the best hiding spot!
Ed [With his mouth full]: We can stay here forever.
Edd: At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes.

[The Eds run back to home base tree, but due to the fact that it's stood in a cart, they push it into distance]
The Eds: HOME FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
[The tree crashes into various obstacles]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: Home free.
[Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: We win.
[Again, Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy]
Ed [Lifting up the tree]: You're it.
[Ed drops the tree on top of himself, Edd and Eddy a third time]

Look Into My Eds

Ed: Look into the circley thing!
Rolf: You crazy?!
Ed [turning to Eddy]: It's not working, Eddy!
Eddy: Spin it, bean dip!
Ed: Thanks, Eddy!

Tag Yer Ed

[Kevin's football hits Edd]
Kevin: Hey, dork! Throw it over!
Edd: Certainly, Kevin! Here it comes! [Weak throw]
Kevin [laughter] You throw like a two-year-old!
Rolf: Ya, and two-year-olds aren't even good at stuffing sausages!

Dawn Of The Eds

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
Edd: Ahh... Actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
Eddy: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about.

Ed: [reading the movie poster of "Robot Rebel Ranch"] Marooned on a distant planet! Visitors in the void! No escape!! [sees an "Adults Only" stamp on the bottom right hand corner, screams, and covers it with his right hand] It's not fair! If only I were older...
Edd: Don't worry, Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
Ed: Yeah... With all the good stuff cut out!
Eddy: Don't sweat it boys, Where there's a will, there's a scam.

Ed: Whoa, this is the coolest movie!
Eddy: Since I'm the most mature looking, I'll go in first! Double D can be my wife!
Edd: Uhh, Ed's taller. I think he should.
Ed: Come on, come on! Not much farther now.
Eddy: You said that an hour ago, Ed!

[Ed sees that the Kankers have Kevin tied up onto a large tire]
Ed: Stay back! Hideous life sucking aliens have captured a fellow space outlaw. Which of the three brave explorers will take the risk to save him? I will save him! Full speed ahead!
Edd/Eddy: Stop Ed! (they fall of the hill)
May: My turn!

Eddy: Hey, is this thing ready yet?
Edd: Well.. Actually, Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of...
[Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made]
Edd: Eddy!
Eddy: There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?
Edd: Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one.
Eddy: Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!
Edd: Well, Eddy, I still need to...
Eddy: Double D, fire the rocket!
Edd: [sighs] Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this.
[Puts pan on Eddy's head]
Eddy: Oh, yeah.
Edd: [sighs] Three, two, one, ignition!
Eddy: Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-a-a-a-a!!
[Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down]
Edd: Oh! Better test the parachute [presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute]. well, at least that worked.
[drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd]
Eddy: Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!
Edd: It's a prototype!
Ed: The robots are coming, the robots are coming!

Vert-Ed-Go

[The Eds are attempting to make a clubhouse]
Kevin: Hey, dorks, get outta my backyard!
Ed: Weird, Kevin already has a clubhouse here.
Eddy: Shut up, Ed.

Edd: What's happening to Ed?
[Ed is seen getting attacked by birds]
Ed: Guys, help me! They're trying to get-oww, my snack! Oww! Here, Eddy! Catch!
[Ed throws the snack at Eddy but it hits Eddy's face and he doesn't catch it]
Eddy [sarcastically]: Good shot, Ed.
[the birds then attack Edd and Eddy]

Ed: Hey, guys! I may have already won ten thousand dollars!

[Eddy hits tree with a hammer]
Edd: Eddy, stop! Trees have feelings! What are you doing?!
Eddy: [throws the hammer in the air] Building a clubhouse. [the hammer lands on his head]

Jonny: Hello, Eddy!
Eddy: Not now, Jonny! I'm thinking.
Jonny: About the tree?
Eddy: Cut it out Plank. [Eddy has an idea] Plank! Wood!
[Ed gets hit with Plank and falls off, Eddy runs after]

Eddy: Know where we could find more wood, Jonny Boy?
Jonny: Plank knows! He sees things.

Ed: The maple has landed!

Edd: I need help!
Eddy: Ok, here comes Mr. Muscle.

[Eddy puts helmet on Ed]
Eddy: Put this on. It'll protect your head, for what I don't know.

Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]
Eddy: It's meant for your head.
Ed: It's my butt!
Eddy: It's not safe!
Ed: Eddy, stop!
Eddy:It's not meant--
Ed and Eddy: Ahh! [both fall down]

Ed: Wake up, Eddy! Stop being unconscious now.
[Ed slaps Eddy out of unconsciousness]
Eddy: Ed! Ed, I'm awake!

Who, What, Where, Ed

Ed [ringing doorbell]: Can Eddy come out to play?
Eddy: I'm right here, Ed.
Ed: Hi, Eddy!

[Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]

Sarah: Hey!
Eddy: Give me your racket, Sarah!
Sarah: My serve! [uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back, Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence]
Sarah: Don't ever touch my racket!
Ed: But Sarah, we need it to trade for a chicken, please.
Sarah: I'll trade you for a giant teddy bear.
Eddy: When will it end?
Ed: Back to Jimmy! (drags Edd and Eddy off)

Keeping Up With The Eds

[Eddy is waiting to ride Rolf's goat, Victor, in an attempt to mow all of the lawns in the cul-de-sac]

Eddy: Quit stalling, goat!

Fool On the Ed

[Due to the El Mango stink bomb getting wedged in the garage doorway, it explodes, sending the stench all over the cul-de-sac]
Edd: I CAN'T BREATHE!!
[The kids smell what was from the stink bomb, and immediately run away, except for the Eds]
Ed: Mmm. Something smells good.
Edd [Holding his nose]: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence...
Eddy [dazed]: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!
[Eddy passes out whilst Ed continues to take a whiff of the stink bomb's contents]

A Boy and His Ed

[The Eds are doing a toll-bridge scam. However, the water they're using for their moat happens to be from Sarah and Jimmy's pool]
Jimmy [noticing the water decreasing]: Sarah. I think we sprung a leak.
Sarah [angrilly]: ED!!
[Ed hears Sarah]
Ed: That sounded like Sarah.
Eddy: Nah, it was a truck backfiring.
Edd: Look, its working!
(the pit starts to get water)
Eddy: See, everyone will have to cross our Toll Moat to get to the lane. Kinda brings tears on your eyes.

Ed [opening the gate]: The door works!
[Ed falls into the moat]
Eddy: Hey, Ed! Your sponge brain'll soak up all the water!

Edd [After Kevin walks away with the box]: I think Kevin was really gonna give us something, Eddy.
Eddy: Yeah, lip!
Jonny: (with a jawbreaker on his mouth) Aren't these jawbreakers good, Plank? (about to fall, falls backwards)
Ed: (Getting up) I'm a croco...(door smacks him in the head)

Ed: If only I had brought my anti-gravity de-spackleizer to repixel the hot-and-cold tumbler on that lock!
Edd: [Confused] Um... Earth to Ed?

Eddy: What are we gonna do?
Edd: I suppose if we learned more about Kevin, he'd be more than happy to share his jawbreakers.
Eddy: Be Kevin's friends? We have a better chance of Ed growing a chin!
Ed: I wish I had four stomachs!

[Edd holds a class in his garage, with his students being Ed and Eddy]
Edd: Good day, class. Our subject for today is Kevin. Kevin is a young man full of confidence, and a garage full of jawbreakers, if you look over here you will see the evolution of the Kevin is... (voices fades off)
[In an effort to avoid boredom, Eddy throws scrunched-up pieces of paper at Ed, who responds by scrunching up a book and throwing it at Eddy. Ed is then caught laughing by Edd]
Edd: ED! I seem to be boring you. Why don't you tell us about Kevin.
Eddy: Yeah, Ed. Tell us.
[Ed ponders about Kevin]
Edd: Just as I thought. May I continue?
Ed: Ooh, I have a question, Double-D!
Edd: Yes, Ed?
Ed: Is it nap time?
Edd: I'm afraid we have much to discuss. You'll have to wait until after class.
Ed: Um...for what?
Eddy: FORGET THIS!! We're wasting time! Why don't we just go take the jawbreakers?
Edd: I'm very Disapointed in your plans, Eddy. However, stealing has dire consequences.
[Edd points toward a picture of Eddy in jail bars on the blackboard]

[Eddy shoots a replica of Kevin with chewed-up pieces of paper]
Eddy [to Ed]: Not bad, huh, bur-head!
[Ed attempts to do the same by chewing up a book, and shooting it out of a straw. However, he sees something large coming out of his straw]
Ed: Oh no! My brain came out!!
Eddy: That's too big to be your brain.
Edd: Can I resume the lesson? Now, what's the first thing you notice about Kevin, here?
Eddy: His chin is almost as big as yours?
Edd [Softly]: Yeah, well... um... [Edd tries to give a clue by bringing his t-shirt up to chin level]
Eddy: Those three stupid hairs on his head?
Edd: No, Eddy! His clothes, his clothes!

Edd: [the Eds are covered in dust] Look at me, I'm filthy.
Ed: Did Kevin got our Jawbreakers?
Eddy: [to Kevin] Hey, Kevin. It's just a slight problem. We'll have it cleaned up in a jiffey.
Kevin: I'LL CLEAN YOU! DOOORRRKS!!!!

Kevin: Hey, Come back, pals! (Already off-range) Hey,slow down , buddies, all friends, AMIGOOOOOOEEEESSS!!!

[The Eds are in the lane, after Kevin gave them chase for destroying his house during a chimney sweeping job]
Eddy: That was a total waste of time!!
Edd: Perhaps if we apologize to Kev...
Eddy [interrupting Edd]: Forget it!! it's time, we put matters into my hands.
[Eddy removes his cap and walks off]
Ed [to Edd]: Can I keep this wig?

[The Eds are tunnelling their way into Kevin's garage]
Ed: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole!
Edd: According to my calculations, we are directly beneath the boxes of mouth-watering candied spheres.
Eddy: You heard him, Ed. Go, baby, go!
Ed: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! [The Eds make it into what they think is the garage] Kevin's got a prety fancy garage.
Edd: Must be a built-in car wash.
[Upon noticing the shower head on the wall, they realise that they're in Kevin's bathroom. What's more, they're in his bath as well]
Kevin: What are you dorks doing here?!

Laugh, Ed, Laugh

Eddy [whilst taking all the acorns and peanuts]: Suckers!
Edd: Hey! Drop those nuts!
[Eddy puts all the nuts in his mouth]

[Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
Eddy [whilst swimming in the fake money]: Money! Dinero! Cash! [Eddy is back to normal, showing the money to Ed and Edd] We'll buy a truck load of jawbreakers!
Ed: What do you mean?
Eddy: What do you mean, "What do you mean?"?! With all this money-- [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] What the--! It's fake!
[Edd puts his finger to his mouth, as a way of trying to tell Ed to keep quiet]
Ed: I drew it myself!
[Edd looks back and forth]
Ed: Eddy's mad.
Edd: Correct! He's back to normal.

Eddy: Where's the key?
Ed: I ate it! Discreetly.

It's Way Ed

[The Eds find out that the kids are all walking on stilts]
Sarah [To Ed]: They're stilts, Mr. Know-Nothing!!

[The Eds end up falling behind on fads again]
Eddy: NO!!! We're behind again!
(Edd starts to think)
Edd: Ah cheer up, Eddy. My Mom says fads go in a cycle and in another ten years we'll be back in style!
(Eddy gets annoyed)
Ed: I'm hungry.
[Zoom in and black]
Eddy: Shut up, Ed.

Eds-Aggerate

[Ed is making giant foot prints]

Ed: How am I doing. Eddy? Er, where's Eddy, Double-D?
[Ed falls into a puddle]
Edd: Stuck to your foot like an old gum wrapper.

[The Eds see Jonny with a cake]
Jonny: Look, Plank. Kevin was telling the truth.
[Jonny approaches the Eds with the cake]
Kevin: Jonny, leave them alone! Let 'em stew in their own muck.
[Kevin, as well as other kids laugh at the Eds. Jonny, on the other hand, gives the cake to Eddy]
Jonny [whispering]: Psst. Eddy, there's a hammer in the cake. [To Kevin] Coming, Kevin!
Edd: The hammer's obviously contaminated...
Ed: CAKE! [Ed eats through the cake, and has a hammer stuck to his face] Ah, my itch is gone.
Eddy: Ed, it's on your face!
Ed: What's on my face?!
Eddy: A hammer!
Ed: A TARANTULA!! AHH!! GET IT OFF, EDDY!! QUICK!! QUICK!! EDDY, GET IT OFF!!

Oath To An Ed

Rolf: [after catching Eddy with a net] And that is how to save a kitty from a tree! Easy, 1-2-3! Thank You, spoilt Eddy!

[Eddy is trying to do a challenge in being a good neighbor, despite his partner being Sarah, who is trying his patience]
Eddy [trying not to lose his temper]: Hello, neighbor...
Sarah: Oh, is baby gonna cry? Does baby want his bottle?
Eddy [infuriated]: SHUT UP, SARAH!!
Rolf: ED-BOY! NO WEE ROACH! NO URBAN RANGER! NO BADGE!

A Glass Of Warm Ed

Edd: Oh, dear. An intruder, eating all the food out of my refrigerator - in bare feet - so unsanitary!

Flea Bitten Ed

[Ed is nailing a sign onto the garage]
Ed: Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail! Hammer a nail [to Eddy] How's it look, Eddy? (nails fall off his mouth)
Eddy: Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!
Ed: No, I put the sign on the garage!
Eddy: Just flip it over, Ed.
Ed: Flip it? Got it!
[Ed flips the entire garage over]
Ed: I flipped it, Eddy!
Edd: Well, I can read the sign...

Ed: I feel funny. Ah...Ah...! [holds his nose] Ah-choo!! [Eyes bulge] I sneezed. [Gets rash] I'm mutating!

Edd: Eddy, Ed is showing strange symptoms. I'm concerned.
Eddy: I've been concerned about Ed since the first day I met him.

Ed: [Laughs] Look at me. I am a pigeon! A big pigeon!
Eddy: Don't lay an egg, birdbrain!

Edd: We need to protect you from those allergies, Ed.
Ed: Jimmy crack corn and I don't care.

Button Yer Ed

[Ed has just walked through Edd's screen door]
Edd: Ed, the screen door!
Ed: Let's watch it.

Avast Ye Eds

Ed:Captain Eddy says to take their dough.
(Jimmy and Jonny start to pay)
Jonny:Nice hat, Ed!
(Ed throws paper and confettis all over)
Ed:Captain Eddy says only two suckers at a time.

Eddy:Hey, kid, I'm on my break! Do you mind?

Season 2

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Ed

[Ed is playing with some socks, as if they were dinosaur puppets]
Eddy: Ed, pay attention! Here I see the ninth hole with a jump over the water and a spiral twist to the hole! Now, where to put the car rentals. Hm-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.
Ed [Still playing with his socks]: Devour, stinky sock. Blab, blab, blab, blab.
Eddy [To Ed]: Gimme those socks!
Ed: Hmm? [rasps at Eddy]
Eddy: Why, you--!
[Ed and Eddy fight with each other whilst Edd is busy creating the mini-golf obstacle]
Edd: I think I've done it!
[They're still fighting]
Ed: Double D! Doody!
Eddy: Woah! [Drops down on the grass and grunts]
Ed: Can I lick the bowl, Double D?
[Edd plugs in the monster machine, causing it to activate and move its arms and jaws]
Edd: Voliá! The Eds' Miniature Golf Course is open for business!
Ed: Cool!
Eddy: Good work, Double D. The kids will line up for plunt and we'll be independently secure. Let's break it in.
Edd: But Eddy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y! [Eddy spins Edd like a tornado and spins out of sight]
[Eddy pus the golf ball on Ed's head and grabs a golf club]
Eddy: Whoa! [He tries to smack the ball but a piece of grass flies therefore the ball goes no distance. Eddy squeals. Ed's head is gone] Oh, no!
[Ed comes out of his own jacket]
Ed: My turn! (He sucks the ball in his mouth. Then he stands up, knocks Eddy to the ground and grabs the club. Ed spits the ball out and it stays in midair) A-puh! (He swings the club as if he was playing baseball. The club crashes the monster machine.) Fore!
Edd: All that hard work.
Eddy: What planet are you from?
Ed: [huging Eddy] I come in Peace Eddy.
(Edd starts checking the damages)
Edd: Well, the rods are shot. it'll probably take me weeks to find another box.
(Ed stops hugging Eddy and puts him down)
Ed: (with the sock) How come Double D is so smart about stuff?
Eddy: 'Cause he's not human.
Ed: (gasps) Double D's not human?! No way!
(Eddy gets a smirk)
Eddy: I... thought you knew. (pointing to Edd) Have you ever met anyone that smart?
(Ed starts thinking)
Eddy: (unpatiently) Well?
(Ed interrupts him)
Ed: If Double D's not human, what is he?

Ready, Set...Ed!

[Ed has shoved the kids into Eddy's rocket car, except for Kevin, who has yet to go in]
Kevin: Touch me with that broom, and I'll tear off your eyebrow.

[The Eds' rocket car has taken a hairy ride down an obstacle course, leaving the Ed's in pain]
Ed: I think I swallowed a turtle.
Eddy: What country are we in?
Edd: We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.
Ed: Can I wear a dress again?

One Plus One Equals Ed

Ed [with lava lamp inside his mouth]: Eddy, why does goo float?
Eddy: Hit the road!
[Ed eats his lava lamp]
Eddy: My lamp!
Ed: Eddy, why don't birds take a bus south for the winter?

Ed: Hello, light. [opens refrigerator and closes it, he does this all night until morning]
Ed: Carrots are good for your eyes, can they dial a phone?
Eddy: Look; if you're gonna strain your peanut brain, think of something useful like how to get your face on a dollar bill.
Ed: Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?
Eddy: Uh, Double D up yet?

Ed: My turn to jump on his head.

Ed: Look at me run! [slides into street to have his head under it, like a carpet] Home free!

Jimmy: [After his outline is pulled off] Fate has dealt a cruel hand. Darn it! [He turns into liquid and is washed away into the sewer]

Edd: Don't look now, but there's a cow floating overhead. I feel uncomfortable.

Eddy: Double-D, we've learnt into fortune!
Edd: Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar, Eddy.
Eddy: Look around us! We've gotta be rich!
Sarah: [pops out of a floating dollhouse] Everything's broken! Fix it now!
Eddy: Shut your mouth, Sarah! Or, better yet, get rid of it! [Eddy takes Sarah's mouth off] I love taking things apart. [Sarah's mouth bites Eddy's head] Get her off, Double D!
Edd: Not a chance!



Edd: Did you eat the sun again, Eddy?
Ed: Can you guess what I'm doing?
Eddy: Get off my foot, Ed!
Edd: I think we're moving.
[Zooms out showing that they're in the pupil of Kevin's eye]
Kevin: I can hear dorks, but I can't see dorks. Come on out and show yourselves! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ed [Whilst picking up a cloud] Cotton gravy!
Edd: Careful, Ed! You don't know where that's been.
Ed: Oh, it's right here, Double-D!

[The Eds snap back to reality, with the kids all staring at them]
Kevin: What are you doing?
The Eds: Er... Nothing.
Kevin: Right, except for being...
Sarah: Dorks!
Kevin [to Sarah, mildly impressed]: Yeah!
Jimmy: Why Can't we all just get along?
Ed: (jumps on Jimmy) Jimmy, you got your line back! (Twist his head) Is it on wrong?
Sarah: (Picks Ed up) Ed, leave Jimmy alone!

Jimmy: Don't spill me.

Knock, Knock, Who's Ed?

[Jimmy discovers a doll at the door]
Jimmy: Look, Sarah! A talking doll!
[Jimmy pulls the string on the back]
Eddy' [to Ed]: Say something, stupid!
Ed: My head is snoring, make it stop!
[Jimmy screams]
Jimmy: Sarah! Boogeyman!

Know It All Ed

[The Eds are playing in a junkyard]
Eddy: I'm the King of the castle, and you're a dirty--
Ed and Edd: Dog pile!

[The Eds find a box containing turkey basters]
Eddy: What we have here, is a squirt gun.
Edd: Please, a squirt gun.
Eddy: What, yeah, a Canadian squirt gun.
Ed: Canadians are weird!

[He has a few squirt guns stuck to his face.]

Dear Ed

Ed: Not to mention a duck!
Edd & Eddy: Huh?
Ed: What?
Edd: Huh?
Ed: When?
Eddy: Uh--
Edd: Ed.
Ed: Why?
[Ed and Eddy stare at him]
Eddy: Okay, Jonny! Play ball!
Edd: Your turn, Jonny.
Jonny: Oh boy, Plank and I played this all the time! (once the ball has been thrown to Bob it bounces back to Jonny and gives him a mark in the forehead)

Eddy: [Laughing] Bob spiked it!
Jonny: Did it leave a mark? I don't like Bob!

Jonny: [Pointing st Salty Sam] He's mad, I tell ya! MAD!

[Eddy has kicked everyone out of his house]
Rolf: I was born to be wild, but the cake was too small.
Kevin: It was a dork fest!
Nazz: I can't believe I actually started to sweat.

Hands Across Ed

[The Eds hide from Rolf and Kevin in the junkyard. Edd and Eddy find a large tire to hide in]
Rolf: I think I saw the ducks run here.
Kevin: Dorks, Rolf. Dorks.
Rolf: Dorks do not quack, Kevin.
Kevin: Whatever. Let's find 'em.

Ed: Kinda funky, huh guys?
Jonny: Plank tells jokes. [To Plank] Knock 'em dead, buddy!
[pause]
Jonny: [laughing] You're killing me!
Eddy: Next!!

Floss Yer Ed

[Ed has just hurt his tooth attempting to bite a coconut]
Ed [spitting out the coconut]: ARRGH!! MY TOOTH HURTS!!! For real.

In Like Ed

[Ed is seen with a car door under his arm as if he's driving. He's imitating sound effects of a truck, such as the horn and the engine]
Ed: Delivery, Mister?
[Eddy's looking on whilst he's fishing out objects from a cardboard box]
Eddy: Did you eat breakfast this morning, Ed?

Ed: It's for my table, Eddy! Car door - only 5 cents. Dad's canoe - 20 cents. Mom's dryer - only 15 cents. [Throwing a huge pile of objects onto his table] No price will be refused at Honest Ed's! [rips table that everything is sitting on off of itself] Table - 5 cents [it collapses] London Bridge is falling!

Ed: Um, Double D? [holds up coat hanger] What's this do?
Edd: That's just a coat hanger, Ed.
Ed: Oh. Mum's the word.

Who Let The Ed In?

[Edd finds one of Ed's comics whilst Eddy pursues Ed and Jim]
Eddy [exhausted]: What's up with that guy?
Edd: Comics, Eddy. It's poison for the brain. This cancer has swallowed up Ed's mind, causing him to create an imaginary friend.

[Edd and Eddy try to ask Jonny about imaginary friends]
Jonny: Imaginary friend? What's that?

Rambling Ed

Ed: Honest Sarah, I always put the seat down!
Jimmy: The cavalry has arrived!
Sarah: What's your sock doing in my room?
Ed: Sleeping?
Sarah: Pick it up before I tell Mom!
Ed: Don't tell Mom, OK? (throws the sock and it hits Edd)

Edd: Curse these short legs!

Eddy [sees Ed in the kitchen with Sarah's dolls]: Ed, what are you doing?!
Ed: Dressing the dolly.
Eddy: Ed, if she told you to jump in the lake with a rock tied to your head, and wait for naked photos of you to develop so she can hand 'em out to all the kids of the cul-de-sac, would you?!
Ed: I had socks on Eddy.

Rolf: Filthy animals do not belong in Rolf's shed!
The Eds: Hiya, Rolf!

Rolf: What are you doing in the trough of food spoils?
Ed: I'm hot tubbing!
Rolf: [His pointing finger gets jammed into Ed's mouth] Do not frazzle Rolf! Please do not contaminate the food, as pigs eat from it!

Rolf: May shower scum devour your head!

Rolf: May your nose fester with the rage of olives!

Rolf: THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!!

Eds: 1, 2, 3! [they topple the shed]
Ed: Let's do it again!
[Rolf lifts up barn door]
Rolf: Having fun with my shed, Ed boys?! [comes inside the barn]
Edd: Is all well Rolf?
Ed: Wipe your feet please.
Rolf [Rips his shirt off in complete rage]: You have broken the celery stalk off the back of a sea urchin!!
Eddy: What'd he say?

Rolf: The yeast has risen and tells me the future of the couch-creature Ed-boys. The spirit of the rind speaks. Do you hear it?
Ed: What does it say?
Eddy (sarcastically) Yeah. Tell us, O Swami!
Rolf: Ah yes, your future will begin by...[shows his muscles and a fist] CLEANING MY PIG PEN! [The Eds immiediately get to work as to avoid punishment] Also your future will hold that you de-lice the chickens, shake the dew from the trees and brush the hair on the back of Rolf!!
Edd: [panicking] Gloves! I need gloves!
Ed: Pumpkins sure are bossy.
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

Homecooked Eds

Lee: We're watching infomercials.
[All of the Eds look nervous]
Eddy: Uh... New Stench-Away deoderent keeps me dry and fresh.
[Eddy rubs Ed on Edd's armpit]
Lee: That junk wrecked my clothes.
Marie: Gimme that!
[Again, the Eds look nervous. Then, Ed immitates a siren]
Eddy: Backup! Requesting backup!
Ed: I wanna drive, Eddy! [Ed puts his face on the screen] Beep! Transfer, please!

[Jonny has just rescued Plank from the Kankers' trailer]
May: Give me back my back scratcher!
Jonny: Scratch this!
[Jonny and Plank send the Kankers' trailer flying after setting off a slingshot connected to a mailbox]

[The Kankers' trailer lands onto the fence between the houses of Kevin and Eddy]
Kevin: What's a trailer doing on my... TRAILER?!
[Pushes The trailer]
Kevin: Stay off my lawn!
[Edd and Eddy attempt to push the trailer back to Kevin]
Ed: Uh, Kevin! You've got a... Oh, I guess you already noticed.
Marie: Now this is what I call a vacation.
[Couch slides down but comes back sliding]
Lee: Just like the cruise Mom took!
[Couch slides down the opposite way]
May [feeling unwell]: I'm feeling sea-sick.
Eddy: THEY'RE YOUR'S!!
Kevin: NO WAY! YOUR'S!!
Eddy: ED! HELP!!
Ed: 1 + 1 = 1 on a bun.
[Edd & Eddy are almost crushed]
Edd & Eddy: ED!!

To Sir With Ed

[Eddy is in his room]
Eddy [to his mother]: Hey, mom! Is dinner ready yet!
[pause]

Key To My Ed

Ed: No problem. I have a key. [puts his arm through one of his pant legs] I think it fell out of this hole in my pants.
Eddy: [looks at the key] Ed, you idiot! This is your key!!

Ed: Did I go somewhere?
Eddy: Nah. Just rest that empty little head, Ed.

Honor Thy Ed

Kankers: Here come the brides! [May gives out a wolf whistle]
Eddy: Kankers? Brides?
Edd: The Kankers tricked us!! It's a wedding, Eddy!!!
Ed: But I can't dance, Eddy!

Ed: Do you think there will be a reception?

(Eddy is pushing Edd and Ed to the haunted house)

Ed:(sneezes away dandelions) Ah...ah...ah...CHOO!

Scrambled Ed

Edd [feeling tired]: Sleppy, sleepy, sleepy...

Urban Ed

[The kids see the Eds have built a city]
Kevin: Alright! The Eds did something cool for once.

Eddy [pretending to drive a car]: What is this, a funeral?! Let's go, Grandma!

Stop, Look, Ed

[Ed is smacking his face against some mud]
Ed: I'm a woodpecker. [continues to smack his face into the mud] Except with dirt.
Eddy: (out of the grass) Let's find some more signs! (runs off)

Eddy: (Holds a 'Joy of Rules' book) Joy of Rules? Man Double D, get a life! (Holds up a fish)
Edd: Eddy, no!
(he smacks the fish on the book)
Edd: Okay! That's it! I'm gonna give you such a thrashing! [Edd's hat comes off, but we only see the hat, not his head]
Eddy: Geez Louise!
Ed: Cool.
Edd: If you say one word to anyone, I'll never speak to you again!
Ed [wearing a skull on his head, tossing garbage from the wastebasket]: I am dead from the neck up!
Eddy: I'll just save it and use it for ammo when I need you, Double D.
Ed: Eddy is always a step ahead.

[The Eds are put in a suspended birdcage and look outside the window and try to get Rolf's and Johnny's attention with signs]
Eddy: Help!
Edd: Please assist!
Ed: Ketchup!

Rent-a-Ed

[Jonny's house is destroyed after Ed broke a support beam]
Kevin: You guys are in so much trouble!
Eddy: Tell me about it, I lost my money.

Shoo Ed

[The Eds are in a shed, attempting to make Jonny the most annoying person in the cul-de-sac. Ed laughs as he pulls down a bed reminiscent of Frankenstein. Edd and Eddy look at Jonny, who's wearing a suit]
Edd: A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?
Eddy: It was the most annoying thing I could find.
Edd: My father wears a suit!
Eddy: Exactly.
[Ed glues a wooden block to Jonny's feet]
Ed: I glued a block of wood to Jonny's feet.
Edd: Ed, why did you glue a wooden block to Jonny's feet? Why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny?!
Eddy: Jonny, people like it when you say "WHY" ALL THE TIME!
(Edd gets an annoyed look)
Jonny: They do? Why? Why? Why? Why? (Eddy starts to laugh)
Ed: And people really like when you poke it on the head! (Starts poking Eddy) See? Eddy likes it!

[Jonny is seen hiding in a birdhouse]
Jonny: YEE HAW!!
Jimmy: Sarah, he's gonna scare the swallows.
Sarah: Jonny, get out of there!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause I said so.
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: Cause your bugging us!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah: CAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!
Jonny: Why?
Jimmy: Why won't he just go away?
Eddy: For a lousy quarter, let us get that Jonny out of that tree.
Sarah: Get lost, butthead!
Jimmy: But Sarah, think of the swallows.
Sarah: Oh brother!
[Jimmy pays the Eds]
Jimmy: Swallows are cute.

[Edd is trying to provoke Jonny down with a broom, in preparation of annoying Rolf]
Jonny: Poke, poke! [Jonny pulls on the broom Edd's using] Why? Why? Why? [Edd gets the broom out, but it's gnawed and without bristles] YEE HAW!

Ed In A Halfshell

Edd [to Ed]: Theatrics do not forge good learning skills.
Eddy: Hey, do you mind? Mister I-Know-Everything-About-Nothing?!
Ed [to Edd]: "Shush!"

Mirror Mirror On the Ed

[Ed is seen standing on thin air]
Edd and Eddy: Come back, Ed!
Ed: I can jump it, guys!
Edd and Eddy: No, Ed!! [They pull him back before he could even jump]
Edd: Now what?
Eddy: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
Ed: Can I think?
Edd and Eddy: NO!

[Jonny is seen wearing trash cans on his arms, and acting as if he was a fly]
Jonny: Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Jonny! Buzz, buzz-
[Jonny crashes into tree whilst the other kids, excluding Nazz, are laughing]
Nazz: You shouldn't have dared Jonny to buzz off, Kevin.

Ed: Eddy, truth or dare?
Eddy: Okay, dare, Ed.
Ed: Okay, Eddy. I dare you to spread the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row Row Row Your Boat through a car wash.
Edd: Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please.
Ed: Ok I dare Eddy to be Double-D.

Hot Buttered Ed

Edd: Oh, look at this now! Dried potatoes that may contain dextrose, salts, and saturated fats; all over my sleeping bag!
Eddy: Double D made a mess in his sleeping bag, Ed.

[It's sunset, and people are leaving the beach, except for the Eds]
Edd: Assistance, please! Assistance!
[Ed and Eddy turn their attention toward Edd, who is completely sunburnt]
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Mother Nature is sooo unforgiving.

Ed: I am a lizard. I can change colors!! I have become CHAMELEON MAN! [turns to Eddy] You can be my sidekick, Frogmouth Kid!! And Double D is our butler, ummm...Double D!!

High Heeled Ed

Ed: I smell waffles, guys!
Eddy: Shut up, Ed![Eddy grabs him and pulls him out of the sewer]

Nazz: Here's your money back, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up!
Sarah: Wait 'till you get home, Ed!
Jimmy:Charlatons!
Ed: Spending an extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing.
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Ed trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual state within the confinds of his brain.
Eddy: Ed? Is that you?
Ed: Hug me!
Eddy: Well that didn't last long!
Ed: Hug! (Hugs Eddy)
Eddy: Put me down, I don't wanna! (steps on Ed and jumps the fence)
Ed: Double D, my friend!
Edd: Please! Ed, no, wait! (jumps the fence)
Ed: (breaks the fence) Hug me!
Edd: Ed your in your underwear!
Ed: Okay, I feel loved now.

Fa-La-La-La-Ed

Edd: We're not allowed to play up here, fellows. [Ed and Eddy continue to sneak into other rooms] I repeat, upstairs is off limits!

Eddy: Get over it, Ed, it's July! Anyways, Christmas stinks. All I ever get is clothes.
Ed: That's because Santa knows you're a naughty boy, Eddy.
Eddy [after attempting to bite Ed's hand]: Santa don't know squat!
Ed [Holding Eddy by the mouth] DON'T EVER SAY THAT, EDDY!! He's making his list and checking it twice.

[Ed exposes the scam to the kids]
Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed...
[Edd breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him]
Ed: There, there, Double D. Santa forgives.

[The Eds are singing Christmas carols in order to get money]
The Eds [singing]: We made you laugh, so give up your cash and cheer will come your way!
The Eds [singing]: Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, give us cash or we'll never stop singing, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
The Eds [singing]: We wish you a Merry Christmas! we- [Eddy and Edd stop singing when they see Rolf's pajamas]
Ed: ...wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! So give us some cash!
Rolf: No cash. [places a strip of bacon into the jar] A fine strip of bacon, yes?

Cry Ed

Ed: Look up my nose and see your future.

Jonny: Boy Eddy, you're a mess!
Eddy: Oh, is that you Jonny? It was horrible. [fake cough]. It came out of nowhere. [fake cough]. Did I say it was horrible?
Ed: Horrible it was! A giant Swedish meatball with a blood-curdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling ground chuck. [does a swallowing sound over and over]
Edd: Please.
Rolf: Rolf has seen this meatball! It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night!
Kids: Oooh!

[Jimmy has just been bandaged up by Sarah, and tries to catch up with her]
Ed [disguised as a bush]: Meatball!
Jimmy: AHHH!! MOTHER NATURE IS ATTACKING AGAIN!!
[Jimmy is taken into the bush]
Edd [setting Jimmy up into a bubble suit]: We're here to help, Jimmy. For your's and Eddy's sake. Safety is my prime concearn.
[Eddy races down the lane via frying pan]
Eddy: RUNAWAY FRYING PAN!! [Eddy sees the other kids] Ahh, my audience. [To the kids] I'M IN TROUBLE, FOLKS!
[Eddy crashes against the side of a dumpster]

[Eddy, dressed in a boiler, has crash-landed on top of Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy: Hello?! Where did everybody go?
Kevin: Well, what do you know? Canned Dork! Allow me to introduce you to my knuckes.
Eddy: *laughter* Forget your glasses at home? I'm invincible. You'll hurt your hand.
Rolf: Consume your strength, Kevin. As you will need it for the Ed-boy thrashing. Rolf can see a shoddy spotwelding from a distance of twenty goats!
Eddy: Hey! [Rolf lays Eddy down] Quit wasting your time, Rolfie boy.
[Rolf bashes his tongue against the boiler Eddy's wearing]
Kevin: You're a freak, dude.
Rolf: Behold.
[Eddy is laughing, but it soon stops when his armour is sliced in half]
Kevin: Pick a body part, Rolf.
Rolf: I am quite partial to feet, Kevin.
[Ed and Edd are watching from up above the crater where Eddy landed]
Edd: This is not good.
[Eddy is beaten up by Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy [whilst in mid-air]: This is great! Go get the kids, quick, Double D.
Edd: "Do this, Double D!" "Do that, Double D!" Ooh, bossy, bossy, bossy!
[Edd goes over to find the kids whilst Ed looks on at Rolf and Kevin attacking Eddy]

Season 3

Wish You Were Ed

Ed: I wish I wish I was a fish.

Ed and Rolf: That's my horse!

Momma's Little Ed

Eddy: This is Mommies note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference!
Ed: That is so lame, Eddy.
Eddy: And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?
Ed: Dare to compare.
Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?
Ed: Yes I will.

Ed: I cut the air in two! This side's yours, Double D!
Edd: We can share the air, Ed.

Eddy: It's gonna take me forever to fix all this air!

Eddy: It was Ed's fault and Kevin, as usual
Edd: Kevin?
Eddy: Yeah, that square headed jerk!
Edd: But Kevin isn't in this episode, Eddy.

Once Upon An Ed

Eddy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Ed: I don't have any feeling at all.

Edd: Pure fiction, Eddy! Your exaggerated tale can only be described as cockamamie!
Ed: Tsk tsk tsk... I have never heard such language...

Eddy: Kankers!
[The giant Kankers slam their heads together to make one.]
Eddy: Ed, your story's getting weird!

For Your Ed Only

[The Eds have just tied Kevin to a tree, in an attempt to hide Sarah's diary]
Kevin: You guys have reached a new low in dork history!
Eddy: Jealous? Hasta la vista! [runs off laughing]
Edd: I do apologize for the abrupt accomodations, Kevin... C'est la vie! [runs off to join Ed and Eddy]
Kevin: This show needs subtitles...

[Edd is attempting to seal his mouth with duck tape after saying some underhanded idea to Eddy]
Ed: Tape!
[Edd comes out fully wrapped in tape]

Ed: I'm in my happy place, Double-D.


Ed: It's Sarah! We are so doomed, help me guys. She will tell mom, and mom will tell dad, and he will say "Not now, I just got home from work!" I'm not in my happy place guys!!


[The Eds attempt to escape Sarah using bubble gum, but ends up deflating when Edd's mouth can't keep up with the chewing]
Ed [As they fall]: Have mercy, child from the netherworld!

It Came From Outer Ed

Eddy: [banging on Ed's window] Help! Ed, save us! Help, Ed!
Ed: Evil Tim's got Eddy!
Eddy: [from window]: Up here, blockhead!
Ed: Eddy! I got a new comic.
Eddy: So what? We're being attacked.

Ed: It is the curse of Evil Tim!

Eddy: Look, Ed! Evil Tim is sucking Jimmy in!
Ed: Crush the monster!
Edd: Look at the size of that Northern Dutch Elm!

Ed: The curse has past! You are safe!
Jonny: Holey Moley!
Rolf: Rolf is amused!
Nazz: So, where's Jimmy, dude?
Sarah [worried]: Jimmy!
Ed: Jimmy?
Eddy: You gotta love him.
Ed: Huup! Speak to me, Jimmy!

Ed: Double D! Not you too!

Ed: I feel funny.

Ed: [grabs some dirt] Boing! It's a lightbulb.

Edd: Q? Ed, where's the X?
Ed: Uhh, A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G. Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?

[Ed throws Jimmy's doll, Mr. Yum Yum, onto the Q]
Ed: Good work, Double D. It looks just like a Q.
Edd: Excuse me! Ed, I think somewhere along this adventure you lost your train of thought! [Ed begins eating a dog treat] Is that a doggy treat?
Ed: What's the rock for, Double D?
[Edd drops the rock on his foot]
Edd: MY FOOT!
Eddy: My head!!
Ed: You're late, Eddy!!
Eddy: [grabs Ed by the throat] Why'd ya take the rabbit?! GIVE BACK JIMMY'S MR. YUM-YUM!!!!
Edd: Mr. Yum-Yum?
Eddy: [grabs Edd by the shirt] You know I'm gonna get you for this!!

3 Squares And An Ed

[Sarah and Jimmy encounter Jonny, who is dressed up as a leprachaun, whereas Plank is a four-leafed cover]
Jonny [in an Irish accent]: Howdy! Howdy! Catch me, and I'll give you me pot of gold.

Eddy: What happened to the stairs??
Ed: My parents took them down because I am grounded!!
Edd: That's disturbing.
Eddy: Nah, they can keep the stairs, cause you can jump it!
Ed: (in fear) But I am grounded, Eddy!
Eddy: Yeah, yeah. We herd it a million times. Here lemme help you. (grabs a big safety pin)
Edd: (terrified) Eddy, NO!!!
Eddy: What's your problem? (with the safety pin on the concrete, Eddy lean Ed to it) Now, Ed. just lean back.
Ed: (jumping out of the room to the living room) Alleyoop!
Edd: Gracious!
Eddy: Geronimo! (arriving there) Behold the gates of freedom! (about to open the door) After me.
(The Eds get smacked when Sarah opens it)

Dueling Eds

Eddy:What could be more important than "Master Eddy"?
Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!
Edd: They say, in order to gain knowledge, one must see it.

Edd: Eddy, show some respect!
Eddy: What's your problem?
Ed: It's his hat, Eddy. He always wears it and he talks forever about stuff, not to mention his obsession with cleanliness, big problem.

Ed: Hurry up guys, before he gets up! Rolf has such good parties!
Edd: No, Ed. We'll leave... this way!
[Edd pulls Ed back onsrceen]
Edd: Boy, you're heavy, Ed.

Edd: You've hurt Rolf's feelings!
Eddy: I didn't do anything.

[Eddy gives a buried Rolf a plant as means of apology]
Eddy: Here you go, Rolf, I'm sorry for hurting your whatever.
[Rolf reaches up and feels the plant, then rises out of the dirt]
Ed: It lives! Hiya Rolf!
Eddy: Hiya, Stretch, nice plant, huh? Don't forget to water it.
Rolf: You mock Rolf yet again, with the Potted Shrub of Ridicule?
Eddy: The what?
Rolf: For the honor of Rolf's Great Nano, I challenge you to a duel!

Ed: Holy mackerel!
Edd: Yes, I believe you're right, Ed.

Edd: Oh, dear. Rolf's customs have a frighteningly high budget!

Rolf: In a duel, two must fight, two, duel, duel, two. Why do you not fight Rolf?!?!?!
Eddy: Oh, is it my turn?
Rolf: Hit Rolf!
[Eddy tries to smack Rolf with the fish, but Rolf hits him first and throws him off the log]
Edd: Eddy?
Rolf: The Honour of Rolf's ancestors has been avenged! Thank you.
Kevin [After Eddy's duel with Rolf] Want a copy for future dork reference? [laughs and walks away with his video camera]

[Following this duel, The Eds are sharing a celebration with Rolf, by having their pants filled with eels]
Rolf: Come, Kevin! Join us in our jubilation.
Kevin [in disgust]: I'll pass, dude.
Rolf [offended]: Son of a gun! You insult Rolf by denying the eels?!
Edd: Ooh! Ed, are you enjoying this?
Ed [scratching himself]: I feel weird guys, I think I'm allergic to eels.
[symptoms take place, as Ed's body is shaped as a fish]
Eddy: FISH FACE!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
Ed: Could someone scratch my scales?
Eddy: EEWW!!!

Dim Lit Ed

Kevin: Is this thing supposed to be dead?
Eddy: The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uhh... [nudges Edd]
Edd: ...Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents!
Jonny [lays down a quarter]: SOLD!
Edd [stares at the quarter]: I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complaining?

Will Work for Ed

Rolf [to Eddy]: Rolf requires one with the backbone of a yak. This is no job for a jellyfish like yourself.

[Ed is about to start work at Rolf's farm, but attempts to get there by car]
Edd: Ed, no! You're too young to drive!
[Eddy laughs at what's happening]

[Ed arrives at Rolf's front door in preparation for work. Ed falls down in the process]
Ed: Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. [Rolf opens the door] I brought my lunch, boss.

Eddy [chanting]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna...
Jonny [interrupts Eddy]: We hate broccoli!
Eddy [continues]: ...ain't gonna work.
Eddy [to Edd]: Go blow your whistle Mr. Referee. I got a nuisense to make out of myself.
Edd: He's so stubborn. [Rolf opens the door before Edd knocks] Oh.. Hello Rolf.
Eddy [chanting again]: Rolf's a jerk, ain't gonna- [Eddy then sees Rolf let Ed and Edd in] Rolf's letting him in!

Ed, Ed and Away

[Eddy is fighting Sarah and Jimmy over the balloon]
Eddy: Gimme that balloon, Sarah!
Sarah: [Mocking Eddy] "Gimme, Gimme" never gets!

X Marks the Ed

[The Eds are fishing, and Ed finds his freezer experiment]
Ed: Oh, goody goody! It's my freezer experiment! I wondered where Sarah hid it. Well, that's a keeper!!
Edd and Eddy [warning him not to put his experiment back in the pond]: No, Ed!!
Ed: Who brought the tartar sauce?

Ed [referring to his pimples on his back] I make a game out of mine, Eddy, cause I'm productive. You can play "Connect the Dots". See? It's a boat.

Ed: I claim this planet in the name of Ed, bringer of bacon!

Eddy: Can you please hurry up with that? My arms have fallen asleep!
Eddy: WHAT!? FORTY DAYS!?

Eddy: [shrunken voice] Fix me!
Edd: Tell me!
Ed: Shrink me!
Rolf: Stay Back!

Eddy: Wait 'til I get my hands on you! Fix my head, you quack!

From Here to Ed

[Ed shows Edd and Eddy some disgusting objects, as a weapon to use on Kevin]
Edd: Where did you exhume this from, Ed?
Ed: Brick-a-brack from under my bed, Double D.

Ed or Tails

[Eddy is attempting to sell his clown scam to Jimmy]
Eddy: Are you un- unconshi...
Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.
Eddy: Dead from the neck up?

Boys Will Be Eds

Kevin [in thought]: She's so radical!
Eddy [in thought]: She can't keep her eyes off me!
Edd [in thought]: Her hair is so clean... And not fly-away at all!
Ed [thinking and echoing]: Hello? Echo! MY NAME IS ED!

Gimme Gimme Never Ed

[The Eds' "Requiem for a Whiplash" ride ends with them flying into the distance, and dropping their money near Jonny and Plank]
Jonny: Well, what do you know. We got a refund. What's that?
[Jonny hears Plank out]
Jonny: Hey, Eddy! Plank says you owe him a buck for the ride! [laughter] Good one, buddy.

My Fair Ed

[Ed and Eddy are about to start their first lesson in proper etiquite]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why are we wearing these bandages on our heads?
Ed: For free lunch from Double D, Eddy Mcgee!
[Both Ed and Eddy laugh]
Eddy: Tell me again, Ed. Why?
Ed: Cause Double D said so, Eddy the... uh... I dunno!
[Both Eds break into laughter]
Eddy: You're a riot, Ed!

Ed and Eddy: BROCOLLI!! AHHHHHH!! RUN AWAY!!

Rock-A-Bye Ed

Ed: I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind!

O-Ed Eleven

Ed: I am a brother and Eddy's brother is a brother and Eddy is a brother to Eddy's brother as a brother I am!
Edd: Um... Nicely put, Ed!
Eddy: Oh, brother.

[The Ed's have found out that the "secret stash", belonging to Eddy's brother, is hidden underneath the Kankers' trailer]
Eddy: My brother's a whizz at ticking me off!

[The Eds avoid the Kankers by disguising as sewer workers]
Edd: Ed, please zip up you're gym bag. we're quite done with it.
Ed [taking the gym bag]: It's more than just a gym bag, Double D! It's a way of life!

Luck of the Ed

Ed... Pass It On...

Jonny: What do you mean an Ed Turkey a la King for you and a couple of breadsticks for the bald kid?

Edd: Nice presentation, Ed! [To Jonny] And here you are, one Ed Turkey A La King!
Jonny: FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!
[Ed is sitting in the pan, naked, as the turkey]
Edd: ED!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO USE A REAL TURKEY!!
Ed [pouring sauce on himself]: Stuffing, anyone?
Eddy [claping the pan lid back on Ed]: IDIOT!!

Eddy: R-E-S-P-E-E-K! Respect, Double-D!

Jonny: Come on, Kevin! Tell us your secret! We won't tell anyone, we're loners!

Ed: Did he miss another bus again Eddy? Buses can be so cruel!

Ed: Party at Kevin's house!!

Ed: Got any dip?
Kevin: I'll dip you, you dork!

Eddy: You dare hit the brother of Eddy's brother!?
Sarah: Brothers are stupid.

Ed: Who wants to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey?"
Eddy: Shut up, Ed!

Brother, Can You Spare an Ed

Eddy: Double D, that sounds so real!
Edd: Don't rub salt in the wound, Eddy. You know how much I detest this instrument.
Eddy: Come on, you're settin' the mood, Double D. The music, the plan, the lump.
Ed [hoola dancing]: 1, 2, 3, 4, stick it out, right out the door!

Ed: Sarah has trusted me with the money, so fudge I must buy it with!

The Day the Ed Stood Still

Edd [worried]: I can't believe I've actually created a monster!!

If It Smells Like an Ed

Jimmy: Brother Rolf, are you still eating your friendship duties?
Rolf: No. [muffling]
Jimmy: Silly! I'm trying to pull your leg, silly. Thank you, friends! All about friends working together. Isn't that right, Brother Jonny?
Jonny: You bet your sweet patootie, Brother Jimmy!
Sarah: This papier mache heart was a great idea, Brother Jimmy.
Jimmy: Sister Sarah...
Sarah: Yes, Brother Jimmy?
[Jimmy taps Sarah on the nose while it is still stained with paint]
Jimmy: Gotcha!
[All of the kids laugh]
Sarah: You little rascal, you.
Jonny [whilst giving Plank a hug]: I love you too, buddy.
Nazz: Hey, guys, what's going on?

Edd [compiling a list of suspects]: Now let's see ... it couldn't have been Jimmy ...
Eddy: I wouldn't put money on it. Everyone's jealous of our talent, charm and good looks and Jimmy's one of them.
Edd: Well Sarah wouldn't have the patience to ...
Eddy: Sarah hates us!
Edd: Okay, then there's Jonny ...
Eddy: He secretly hates us.
Edd: Nazz?
Eddy: Well...She hates you!
Edd: [After a short pause] Thank you for reinforcing that phobia, Eddy ... well last but not least there's Kevin and ... he hates us.

Edd [patting Ed]: Why Ed, that's very good
Eddy [ever the sceptic]: Hold that thought. So, who did it Ed?
Ed: Simple my fine friend. It was a foot!
Eddy [to Edd]: Hard to believe he can dress himself isn't it?

Ed: [walking on his hands, with his bandaged feet in the sleeves of his shirt, as he is dressed upside-down] I should have all the feeling back in my feet after this word from our sponsors, Double D.
Edd: Curse broadcast commercialism.

Don't Rain on My Ed

Once Bitten, Twice Ed

Eddy: WELCOME TO FRIDGELAND!!

An Ed In the Bush

[The Eds are playing pranks and mind games on the Urban Rangers in the forest, but Edd is concerned]
Edd:This would be so much more variable if I had my PROVISIONS!
Eddy: What's that? [pause] I think it's the sound of no-one caring! [pause] Move it out!

[Ed acts like a horse, but Edd can only be with an unpleasant look]


[Ed and Eddy are laughing after pranking the Urban Rangers, while Edd is worried about getting caught]
Edd: Please, Eddy. I really feel bad about this! [whispers] Can we please go now!?
Eddy: [in the verge of laughter] Ed, did you get a load of their faces when the fire went out?
Ed: [He imitates the Urban Rangers' reactions] Ooh! [begins laughing]
Eddy: [he holds the quarter that Rolf tossed in the bushes] I even made a quarter! [joins in laughing hard with Ed] Oh, man! [they both stop laughing, while Eddy gets up, Double-D is nowhere to be found] Okay, Double-D. Let's get out of here.

[Sarah is looking for Ed]
Sarah: ED! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE MISTER!! [Sarah storms her way over to Ed's room] ED!!!!! [Sarah hears whimpering from Ed's closet. She opens it to find all three Eds sat in fear] Mom said to get out of the closet, Ed. It's been three days, now.
The Eds: BELLY BUTTON EATER!!
Sarah: What idiots.
[Sarah closes the closet]

See No Ed

[The kids are playing on a skateboard, and Jonny's just about to drop into the quarterpipe]
Sarah [taking the skateboard from Jonny]: Wait in line, Jonny! It's Jimmy's turn.

Is There an Ed in the House?

  • Edd: Let's pick a theme, shall we? Would you like to pose with a beach ball or this sumptuous lollipop?

Rolf: No sump, as Rolf perfers his churm of soft-spread butter.
Eddy: There, he picked! Now get out of the way, so I can take the picture.
Rolf: May Rolf order one eight by ten glossy with many wallet size photos for his relatives?
Eddy: Whatever you want, Rolfie boy. I'll just up it on the bill.
Edd: Ok Rolf, look at me. Smile for the tawdry sock puppet. That's it, you can do it! Yes, you can! That a boy!
Eddy: Hahaha! Is it finished yet?
(bell rings)
Edd: Weellll, I'll just check on those prints, shall I?
Ed: I am done, guys!
Edd: Um, Ed... what is that behind Rolf?
Ed: Rolf's head is about to be crunched by a four-legged mutant bus driver.
Eddy: You're supposed to draw a picture of Rolf. No monsters, just Rolf.
Ed: Oh yeah. Rub it out, rub it out, rub it out.
Jimmy: Where do you keep your hot water bottle?
Eddy: Hey Jimmy, take a hike! Ed's busy.
Ed: Under the sink, Jimmy!
Rolf: Hello? How long must Rolf wait for this portary of self love?
Edd: Any time now. Rolf's becoming impatient, Eddy.
Jimmy: How about the vaporizer, stretch?
Ed: Top shelf, shorty.
Eddy: Hey! Go bug Sara, you little pest!
Jimmy: For your information, crabby pants, Sarah is sick and I must take care of her.
Eddy: We should all be so lucky.
Ed: Sarah's sick? Wait! Big brother's coming, baby sister!
Eddy: Ed, get back here!
Edd: Oh dear, I hope it's nothing serious. I best get my medical bag; one can never be too sure.
Eddy: Uhhh... gee, Rolf, you got a face only a mother could love.
Rolf: ED BOYS!



  • Jimmy: There there, little frail one; Jimmy will take care of you.

Ed: Ed is here to make you all better, Sarah.
Sarah: (sniff) I feel hot.
Jimmy: Ah, let me sooth you.
Sarah: Thank you, Jimmy.
Ed: Big brothers take care of baby sisters.
Sarah: My pillow needs fluffing.
Jimmy: There you go, Sarah.
Ed: No let, me, sickly sister!
Sarah: Ahhhh...
Jimmy: Am I a good fluffer, Sarah?
Sarah: Yes you are, Jimmy.
Eddy: What a load of...
Edd: Pardon me, Eddy. Please step aside, everyone. Well, your pulse is normal.
Eddy: I bet it is.
Jimmy: Sarah's got a fever, Mr. Smarty Pants.
Ed: Yeah, I wish I was as Smart Pants.
Edd: Your temperature seems normal as well.
Sarah: Oh, what do you know?
Edd: A minor cold at best, I say.
Eddy: Ha!
Edd: Gentlemen, I suggest we leave, as a cold at any rate can be quite contagious.
Sarah: Yeah! Get lost!
Ed: I will show them the door, dear debilitated one.
Eddy: Come on, Ed! What are you going to do? Wipe her nose all day?
Sarah: I need a tissue, Jimmy.
Ed: Oh, I'll fix it for you, Sarah.
Jimmy: Nice and soft for that cute little nose.
(Ed uses a vaccum cleaner to clean Sarah'nose) Eddy: Whatta sap! We're wasting the whole day!
Edd: Ed's just fufilling his duty as a caring brother, Eddy.
Eddy: You're so understanding.
Edd: Perhaps we could set up a paging system, that way Ed could be free to do your bidding and still be in contact with Sarah.
Eddy: I like that!


  • Sarah: Double D! What the heck are you doing?

Edd: Ahh, trying to help you.
Sarah: Oh, O.K, Double D. (giggles)
Edd: Being confided to one room can be quite frustrating, so I found a way to ease Ed's... uhh, I mean your burden. Uh...just pull this handle and someone will assist you.
Sarah: It's too high. No it's too low. Too high! Little low. Too high! Way too low. High! Low. High. High.
Edd: Enough already! You may not be feeling well; I can symphonize with that, but I'm trying to-
(Sarah gives a raspberry at Edd)
Sarah: Serves you right.
Edd: Why, you-!
Ed: No, Double D!
Edd: If I catch a cold...! I'll...I'll... Just give me five minutes with that germ spreading brat!
Ed: Coming, Sarah dear.
Jimmy: Can I get you anything, Sarah?
Ed: Yeah, can I get you anything, Sarah?
Sarah: Would you guys be so kind and LET ME FINISH SLEEPING?!!
Ed: Sarah needs to rest because she is sick.
Eddy: Ed, how can you be so stupid?
Ed: I watch cartoons, Eddy.
Eddy: Yeah, well grow up; forget stupid Sarah. Follow me to your future, lumpy! We blew up on the photo scam, so on to plan B: The Triple E Free Driving School! Only it's not free, and we'll charge them. Double D, your're the instructor.
Edd: Me? but I...
Eddy: Ed, you're the motor.
Ed: I have achieved greatness!
(Bell rings)
Jimmy: It's Sarah!
Ed: I'll be back guys!
Edd: My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?
(Eddy mocks Edd)
Eddy: My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy? How are we suppose to get any work done with Ed answering your stupid paging system?
Ed: Okey dokey! I'm ready, Eddy.
Eddy: What took ya? I got students waiting!
Jonny: Where's the obstacle course, Eddy? Plank's itching to tear up some pavement!
Eddy: Comin' right up, Jonny boy. Here we go!
(Eddy grabs Jimmy and ties him up) Jimmy: Ahh! No, stop, that tickles, stop!
Eddy: We aim to please. Let Plank wrap his bumper around this obstacle.
Edd: Let's try to sound convincing now, shall we Double D? Let's see now. Good day, pupil. Welcome to the Triple E Driving Course. My name is Eddward, and I'll be your instructor for the day.
Nazz: Hi, Eddward. Ready when you are.
Edd: Well well, um...Shall we begin with...um...Well, first we must, uh, buckle our safety belts, uh... shall we?
Nazz: Not cool; they're stuck Eddward. Can you give me a hand?
Edd: Ohh, I suppose so...ee...ehh...ehh...
Nazz: Like that?
Edd: Very good! Umm... once safe to do so, please proceed on to the course.
Nazz: Awesome!
Ed: Vroom! Vroom!
Edd: Not too fast, now. Easy on the corners.
Nazz: That's it!
Edd: Nicely done.
(Bell rings)
Jimmy: I'm comin', girlfriend!
Ed: What a weasel! She's my sister!
Edd: ...Ed?
Eddy: Hey! You're the motor, get back here!
Edd: Why aren't we stopping?
Nazz: Oops.
Edd: Go left! Go left! Brake! Brake!
Nazz: What brake?
Edd:(to Eddy) You forgot to put in a brake?!


  • Jimmy: A three cheese grilled sandwich and, see, no crust!

Ed: [walks into the room carrying the fridge] Take your pick, unwell baby sister of mine.
Jimmy: Don't listen to him, Sarah. Cheese is good for a cold; you know it's your favorite.
Ed: She's my sister, and my sister likes fruit and veggietables! Isn't that right, baby sister?!?!
Jimmy: Here, Sarah, let me help you chew.
Ed: I will help her chew.
(Sarah mumbles with he mouth full of food) Jimmy: What's that? A book you, say? I'll get you one.
Ed: In the void of space, Zorba the two-headed mutant...
Jimmy: Silly little Jilly frolicked in the daisies.
Ed: Spewing slime from its tentacles!
Jimmy: 'I'm so silly', said Jilly.
Ed: As Zorba sucked its brain!
Jimmy: I wish I were a potato so the prince would like me.
Ed: He gagged on his bones!
(Sarah rings her bell) Sarah: See the ball?
Jimmy: Yes, I do, Sarah.
Ed: Yep, it's a ball.
Sarah: Go get it!
Jimmy: Certainly, Sarah.
Ed: I'll get it, Sarah.


  • Eddy: What's with you?!

Ed: Sarah's sick, get ball, then Jimmy, I gotta-
Eddy: You gotta nothing!
Ed: I gotta nothing?
Eddy: You're the big brother, that means you're the boss. Get over there and show her what you're made of! Get mean!
Ed: Your're right, Eddy. Iam the big brother, Sarah! Oh, I know!
(Ed hitches up his pants up to his chest)
Eddy: Whoa, you're a tough guy, Ed.
Edd: You've sent him into the lion's den; you know that, don't you?
Ed: Yep.


  • Sarah: Too late! Jimmy already got my ball.

(Ed throws the ball outside the window)
Eddy: You work hard all your life, and what's it get cha?
(The ball hits Edd)
Sarah: Ed! Go get my ball!
Ed: No ball getting back! Rest now!
Sarah: ...(nervously)Please get my ball.
Jimmy: Don't you fret, Sarah; I'll get it.
Ed: Here, let me help you.
(Ed throws Jimmy out the window and hits Edd again)
Jimmy: Ahhh! My head!
Sarah: (In tears) You threw my friend out, Ed! How could you do that! He was just trying to help! Waa!!!!
Ed: Aww... I am sorry, baby sister. A big hug will make you feel all better.
(Sarah beats up Ed. It's not shown but you can tell from the outside of the house)
Ed: Get it off!
Edd: It seems Sarah's made the road to recovery. (Edd sneezes on Eddy)
Eddy: Say it, don't spray it.
(Edd sneezes again)
Eddy: What's with you?
Edd: Ooooh, I knew it. Curse you, common cold micro organisms! It's all part of the big plan, don't you see? They wait and strike when you're the most vulnerable. (Sneezes again) 'Jimmy: Geepers! You sound sick, Double D. You shouldn't be outside; you need some TLC.
Edd: Don't just stand there, do something! Eddy!
Ed: Pain! It hurts!
Eddy: I wonder what's on TV?
Ed: Have mercy depraved sibling!

An Ed Is Born

Jonny: What'cha doing Rolf?
Rolf: Silence! Rolf must brood.
Edd: Ed, this is so wrong! Rolf's sure to discover his chickens are missing!
Ed: Here we go! Up! You there, uppsy-daisy!
(Rolf sees Ed with his chickens)
Ed: Uhh... I think you have to go home now, chickens.
Edd: Please excuse Ed, he meant...
Rolf: Let Rolf understand this. I suppose this disgracing Rolf is OK to you, Ed boy. Walking off with Rolf's chickens like a fine howdy-do?
Ed: It was their idea, Rolf. They wanted to be the best chickens they could be! Bless their little giblets.
Rolf: Is that so, Ed boy? YOU HAVE SQUEEZED AN ORANGE RIND IN THE EYE OF ROLF!! RETURN THE CHICKENS, OR ROLF WILL-
(Rolf gets hit by a crate that Eddy throws down the stairs. The impact sends Rolf flying out the basement window)
Ed: That concludes our lessons for today, ladies! Same time tomorrow.
Eddy: Hey guys, look at what my brother sent me! That big lug.
Edd: Your brother sent you this?
Ed: I think his brother sent it to him Double D.
Eddy: Check it out; I bet it's a car or something.
Edd: Why, this seems to be addressed to a-pipsqueak, Eddy. A pet name for his baby brother, I assume?
(Ed and Edd giggle)
Eddy: Yeah, so that means head honcho in our house. Why else would he send me the key to his new truck?
(holds up a pacifier, Ed and Edd laugh)
Eddy: Baby stuff?! What's he think I am, a two year old?!(holds up a rattle)
Ed: Cool.
Eddy: What are you lookin' at?
Edd: I'm sorry, Eddy, but don't you think it's rather amusing that your brother still thinks of you as his baby brother?
Eddy: No! I HATE being a baby brother!
Edd: Ok, then.
Ed: Listen.(shakes baby rattle)
Eddy: Hold your horses! I'll just show him how big I've gotten. Ed, take me to the mail box, pronto!
Ed: Gotcha, Eddy! Whoa, right over my head.
Edd: Wouldn't it be easier just to mail a letter describing yourself, Eddy? Why, if I were you, I'd write a book, a biography of sorts.
Eddy: You don't get out much, do ya?
Ed: If I were me, I'd make a home movie.
Eddy: Ed, that's it! We'll make a home movie! Double D, your're the cameraman.
Edd: But Eddy, we don't have a-
Eddy: I'll be the exec. producer, exec. director, exec. writer and of course the star.
Edd: We can't shoot a movie without-
Eddy: Ed can be-Ed. We'll show my brother that Eddy's all grown up.
Edd: You're forgetting something, Eddy! We need a-
Ed: (Gets a video camera from out of his dryer) Camera, static free.
Edd: Why do you keep a camera in your dryer, Ed?
Ed: What?
Eddy: There you go.
Edd: Well, we do have a camera.
Eddy: Let's make a movie!
Ed: Can I lick the bulb?
Edd: Ed, do you have a manual for this?
Ed: Somewhere.



  • Eddy: Hiya, bro! What's up? It's me, Eddy, all grown up and livin' the life. Who'd a thought, huh? Check out my mustache.

Edd: OK, cut. Uhh, we'll need to get a close up, Eddy.
Ed: Uh, how was that?



  • Eddy: This thing's giving me a rash.

Edd: Action!
Eddy: Looks like I inherited your genes for the face fur, huh bro? And you know what?



  • Eddy: Now?

Edd: Action.
Eddy: And you know what? I'm loaded. Been investing for years; real estates, stocks, bonds. I've even bought me a couple of planets! Yep, already own Saturn and Pluto.
Edd: Oh, come now, Eddy.
Ed:(sticking money tags on trash bags)Boy, being rich really stinks.
Eddy: What the heck are you doing?! Don't film that!
Edd: Sorry, Eddy; the planet bearing story threw me off.
Eddy: Cut, cut! How's my brother supposed to think I'm cool when you guys keep...
(Ed shakes his head and his head is making a baby rattle sound)



  • Edd: Action.

Eddy: Unlike myself, the old neighborhood's still the same as you left it, bro. Hey, did I tell ya? I'm mayor now! Right, Ed?
Ed: Hi, Kevin!
Eddy: See that loser? That's Kevin. He's the neighborhood dork. I have to slap him around every now and then, just to remind him who's boss.
Edd: Eddy...
Kevin: Neighborhood dork, huh? (puts Eddy's underwear on his bike) Hey, Double-Dweeb; you getting this?
Eddy: He collects underwear and gives it to the poor. It's that stupid, huh bro? Help!


Eddy: Slow down, Kevin! I was just kidding! Stop! Please!
Ed: Look at him bounce, Eddy's brother.
Edd: Eddy, are you alright?!



  • Ed: Boy, Eddy, you deserve a shake for that.

Edd: I must say; if I were your brother, I'd be very impressed.



  • Edd: Eddy, where are you?

Eddy: Over here, Spielberg.
Edd: There you are.
Jimmy: Race you to the swings, Sarah!
Eddy': Hey, bro! Remember how you used to own the playground? Well, it's mine now. Check this out.
Sarah: Outta the way, butthead! We wanna play on the swings!
Eddy: You know the drill: Cough up some dough, then swing.
Sarah: What did you say?!
Edd: Ok, cut! Hold your positions please.



  • Edd: Ready, now. Oh, Jimmy, a little closer if you will. good. And cue sef-

(Sarah punches the camera away)
Sarah: [to Edd] Butt-head!
Edd: Oh MY.
Sarah: Ed! Get your stupid friends out of the way!
Eddy: No use pleading for mercy, Sarah. Ed obeys only his supreme leader. That's me, bro.
Ed: OK, Sarah!(Ed throws Eddy onto the swing-set pole)
Eddy: Umm... Ed here is showing Sarah what I'll do to her if she doesn't take a HI-ke!
Ed: There you go, baby sister! Swing to your heart's content.
Edd: Okay, people! A big smile for Eddy's brother!



  • (Ed licks the camera lens)

Ed: Hello, my name is Ed.
Eddy: We're running out of ideas, Double-D. Think of something that'll make me look good.
Edd: Ed, you be careful with that!-Oh, what do I care? It's his camera.
Ed: Man the wilhelms! Dive! Dive!
(Ed swallows the camera)
Edd: Ed, what have you done? Open it, open it! [camera zooms to the interior of Ed's stomach] You should know better than eat the camera. Just think of it will do to your digestive tract!
(Edd takes it out)
Ed: Boy, I can't wait to see that part, Double-D.
Edd: Yes, well, let's not and say we did, Ed.
Eddy: Come on, come on! I've got an impression to make here, remember?
(They hear Nazz humming)
Edd: Oh, my.
Eddy: Hey look, it's my girlfriend, painting her nails for me. I think I'll go give her the pleasure of my company.
(Eddy tries to put his arm around Nazz, but she kicks him into a fire hydrant)
Nazz: Umm... Double-D, are you guys, like, making a movie or something?
Edd: Nazz...umm.
Ed: Not to worry, Eddy's brother. I'll just dry him off!
Jonny:(Jonny grabs the camera) Hey, buddy, what'cha got there? Is that your video camera?
Edd: Jonny, please! We're trying to make a movie.
Jonny: Back off!
Edd: Jonny, please!
Eddy:(diving at Jonny)Why, you little-!
Jonny:(Screams) AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!



  • Eddy: He scares the birds away; what can I tell ya? Shall we continue with my charmed life? Wow, what do you know? It's our international jet setter, Rolf.

(Ed is dressed up in one of Rolf's shirts over his normal clothes and he shakes the rattle)
Eddy: Hey, Rolf! Let my brother how important I am.
(Eddy throws the rattle and it hits Rolf on the head)
Ed: I forget.
Rolf: ED BOYS!



  • Rolf: Come back chicken thief!!

Eds: RUN AWAY!



  • Edd: No backs to the camera please; it's rude, you know.

Eddy: Shut up and roll. Remember this place, bro? The junk yard, your old hang out. All the kids are chicken to come here.
(Ed is shown scared of the rattle)
Eddy: See? What'd I tell ya? But not me.
Ed: Show yourself, mutant!
Eddy: Yeah, uhh... Ed's just fixing my old car. It's not quite ready yet. Movin' right along. You'll never guess what I'm building. It's an ultimate hard boiled egg boiler. I've got big bucks invested in this gold mine.
(Edd cuts the camera)
Eddy: What?
Edd: Go on.
Eddy: By simply tossing your-
(Edd cuts the camera again)
Eddy: The combustion soon-
Edd: Look natural; stay with me.
Eddy: Uhh, thus rendering the egg-
(Edd cuts the camera again)
Eddy: For all to enjoy.
Edd: I'm creating dynamics, Eddy.
Eddy: Don't get arty on me, Double-D.
(Eddy opens the door to his boiler but doesn't see that the Hyenas are inside)
Eddy: What?
Edd: KA-KA-KA-KANKERS!!!!!!!
Kankers: (in unison) Hiya, Eddy!



  • Eddy: (Putting on "Spaceballs" by THE SPINNERS) Hiya, bro! So anyways, here I am, all nice and safe in my cozy bachelor pad where all the kids show up to get my autograph. Yep, I'm that big, bro.

(Shows Rolf, Jimmy and Kevin walking around)
Eddy: The usually spot there, dork? (Imitating Kevin) Sweet, Eddy! You're cool, man.
Edd: Oh, please.
Eddy: And there's Jonny. Sign your shirt there, curly?
Ed: They're hungry again, Ed-DY!!(Eddy grabs Ed by the neck)
Eddy: (gritting teeth) So feed them over there!
(Rolf is shown coming into the house in the background sniffing the floor)
Eddy: So, bro; as you can see, I'm a big shot now. No more beatin' up little Eddy ,'ey, big brother?
Edd: Uh Oh, Rolf!
Eddy: Rolf? Did I forget to sign Rolf? There ya go, stretch.
[Eddy rights his name on Rolfs face] Rolf:YOU HAVE VANDALIZED ROLF'S FACE, AND YOU HAVE-
(Rolf lifts up the cardboard cut-out Rolf and sees one of his chickens holding it up)
Rolf: And You have stolen Rolf's chickens yet again!!!

Rolf: (to Edd) You stealing Rolf's show with your filmbox?!
Edd: Why, of course not, Rolf! What gave you that impression?
Rolf: Rolf will release his rage now!
Eddy: Wait, we can work this out!
Rolf: Return Rolf's chickens!
Ed: AHHHH!!!
Rolf: Return them!
Edd: Shoo! Go away! Don't touch me!
Eddy: Mommy!
Edd: I think your brother's got the picture, Eddy.
Eddy: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Camera batteries go POOF!)

Season 4

One Size Fits Ed

Eddy [to Jimmy]:Sumo wrestlers are revered!
Edd: In Japan.
Eddy: You'll have legions of fans, who'll cater to your every whim!!!!!
Edd: In Japan.
Eddy:...Okay, Double D. I'll bite. So your point is?
Edd: Sumo wrestlers are revered, celebrated and affluent, ONLY IN JAPAN, EDDY!!
[steam comes out of Eddy's head]
Ed: Eddy is the man with the plan!
Eddy [screaming at Ed and Edd]: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO TO JAPAN?!
Jimmy: Don't give up now, Eddy. The show must go on!
Eddy: Quit livin' in the clouds, kid! There's no way I'll be sending you... to... (gets an idea)

[Ed and Eddy are in intensive care at Edd's house after being crushed by Jimmy]
Edd: Rise and shine, gentlemen. And how are we feeling this morning?
[Both Ed and Eddy groan from their injuries. Ed then starts hitting himself with his own bed]
Edd: Don't play with the bed, Ed.
[Ed stops whilst Edd feeds Eddy with tea]
Eddy: I hate tea.
Edd [whilst opening the window]: You haven't learned a thing, have you, Eddy?
[A whistle is then heard outside]
Sarah [to Jimmy]: Move it, Chunky! Is that the best you can do?! I wanna see some sweat, Mister!!
[Jimmy is seen cycling]
Jimmy: I feel like I'm going to explode.
Sarah: Move it!
Eddy: I've just learned something today, Double D.
Edd: You have? Tell me, Eddy!
Eddy: We should open up a weight-loss clinic! I'd be rich!! [To Jimmy]: HEY, JIMMY!! [Eddy struggles to move due to his full-body cast] Stupid cast. JIMMY!!!
[Eddy falls out of the window, landing head first on the lawn]
Edd: Well I've learned something today.
Ed: ...that Eddy is the man with the plan!
Eddy [Unclear]: Help!!

Pain in the Ed

Kevin [flinging cards into a cap; makes one]: Choice!
Eddy [looking over the fence; showing off "carpet" pits]: Hey Igniroid, whose more mature now, huh?
Kevin [starts laughing and heads inside]: The dork's faking puberty!!!

Eddy: So now what do we do?!
Edd: We could always go call on Ed.
Ed: Don't bother Double D, he's not at home.

Ed: Position and pose starts by fanning your toes, and placing your left foot right.

Rolf: Why is the Lady of Liberty looming over the cul-de-sac?

Ed Overboard

Johnny: I'm gonna wet my pants!!
Ed [as the shadows are appearing]: Quack.
May: You're mine forever amore!

One of Those Eds

[Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn]
Sarah: What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!?
Edd: Crude, yet effective.

Ed: Yum yum! Bubble gum!
Edd: It was just a wad of gum? I've heard of squirrels storing their food, but gum? I mean that's just plain cooky. [steps in a puddle] Oh, for crying out loud! Ed, can I please have my shoes back?
Eddy: What the?! GIMMIE BACK MY SHOES!!
Ed: What you can do when you live in a shoe and you ain't got no soul?
Eddy & Edd: ED!!

They Call Him Mr. Ed

Eddy: I almost up-chucked.

Eddy: Woah! We're up, Super up!

For the Ed, By the Ed

Jonny: Plank's the king of the cul-de-sac!

Little Ed Blue

[Eddy is telling Ed to be happy, but triggers more anger inside of him]
Ed: BIG TROUBLLLLLLLLLLE!!
[Ed's yell causes Eddy to lose his shirt and Edd to faint. Ed then goes on to wreck the park whilst Eddy attempts to wake up Edd]
Jonny [whilst on a see-saw in mid-air]: Yee-haw!
Eddy: Double D, wake up!
[Eddy runs whilst the see-saw drops on top of Edd]

A Twist of Ed

[Kankers run through the wall leaving Kanker shaped holes; The camera zooms out and we see an Ed shaped one also]
Ed [Creepy Laugh]: It's dark. [more laughter]
[Kankers get loose]
Edd: Care to snuggle into my blanquet of amour?
[Kankers run screaming again]
Edd: I haven't had this much fun since Father let me disassemble his shaver. [He hands a flower torch] There, it's your turn.

The Good Ole Ed

[Ed has found a spatula]
Ed: Oh look, A flipper!
Eddy: It's a spatula, stupid.

Your Ed Here

Kevin: This is so stale, I swear. [he halts] Huh? [He spots a wallet] Choice, a wallet!
Eddy: Any cash?
[Kevin opens it]
Kevin [finds it empty]: It's empty, like your head.
Eddy [leaving]: What idiot would carry a wallet with no cash in it?
Kevin [smiles evilously]: No way! Hey, Eddy! Check out the idiot!
Eddy: Hey, that's me.
Kevin: Ain't it weird how wallets can tell a lot about a dork? Huh, Skipper!
Eddy [alarmed]: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!? [in a terrified manner, he looks at the others]
Kevin: That IS your middle name, isn't it, SKIPPER?

Eddy [while holding Edd]: Forgive me! [Kisses Edd]

Edd: [To a down Eddy] If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.
Eddy: Okay.
Edd: Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion. (Eddy stares blankly at him for a while)
Eddy: *laughter* Marion!?! That's a girl's name!

Thick as an Ed

Edd [after his head gets caught in Ed's cheese-infested pocket]: RANCID, MOLDY CHEESE!!! I refuse to participate any further until Ed washes that offensive, putrified jacketof his!!
Eddy: (takes the map away from Ed) Quit rocking the boat! We got people to filge! (heads to the lake, looking at his reflection) Is that a frog or boot? (looks closer)
Ed: A boot? (Heads to Eddy)
Eddy: There, see it? What is that?
Ed: It kinda looks like Abraham Lincoln, Eddy.
Eddy: What are ya talking about? (Snaps his face in the water)
[Edd attempts to take Ed's jacket off via barge pole, but is then pulled into the jacket]
Ed: Comfy?
Edd [popping frantically out of Ed's jacket]: FILTHY! CRUDDY! SMELLY!
[Edd then goes to shower himself]
Edd [poking his head out of the shower]: Ed, I insist you remove that jacket immediately!
Ed: OK! If you give me your hat.
Edd [getting dressed]: My hat? Why, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Absolutely not.
Eddy: Give him the stupid hat so we can get some frogs!
Edd [ignoring Eddy and going head-to-head with Ed]: The point here is my hat doesn't smell.
Ed: Oh, yes it does.
Edd: No, it does not! You're just saying that because I said your jacket stank.
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: You've got a cheese in your pocket, Ed!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: ODIFEROUS CURDY COAT!
Ed: STINKY HAT!
Edd: RANCID ROQUEFORT WRAP!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!
Edd: PUNGENT PARMESAN POCKET!!!
Ed: OH, YEAH?! STINKY HAT!!!
Edd: COAT OF CANTANKEROUS CAMEMBERT!!!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!!!
Eddy [getting in between to break it up]: SHUT UP!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!
[Edd & Ed glare at each other & and turn away]
Eddy: Oh, come ON- WE'VE GOT A SCAM TO RUN HERE!!!!
Edd: I'm soory, Eddy. But I can't work up on these conditions.
Eddy: (snaps the peg closer to Double D's eyelids) Oh, yes you can! You just worry about gettin' those frogs, and I'll deal with Ed. (Heads to Ed and quickly tries to take his jacket and shirt off rudely)
Ed: (snaps the jacket and shirt right) HEY!
Eddy: What? The frogs won't recognize ya, lumpy. What you need is a diguise.
Ed: A disguise?
Eddy: Quick, get undressed! I got an idea!
Ed: Frogs are so stupid! (jumps at literally leaves the clothes hanging on mid-air) Hooray!
(Edd looks)
Eddy: You owe me! (to Edd)

Edd [leaping after getting cheese's stench poofed in his face]: DEFOILED!!! SOILY!!! PROFANE!!!

Ed: (kisses the cheese) Home, sweet home, uh Sheldon?


Eddy: You guys will need more than luck if we DON'T CATCH SOME FROGS!!
Ed : Okay, how about [unveils a smelly cheese] Angus, my more-than-lucky cheese.
Edd: Ed! Get rid of that carcass immediately!!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Shirt of fliched flounder!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Dated trout top!!
Ed: STINKY HAT!!
Edd: EDDY!!!

Sorry, Wrong Ed

Eddy: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER IT, IDIOT!

Robbin' Ed

[The Eds leave the scene after facing defeat from Jonny/Captain Melonhead]
Edd: It's all fun and games 'til someone gets a splinter.

A Case of Ed

Ed [eating one of Edd's shoes]: Mm. How long have you been a size two?
Edd: Size two? But I've always worn a size five shoe, doctor.
Eddy: Sounds like another sympton to me.

[Jimmy, upon seeing a "Kick me" sign on Edd's back, can't help but to kick him in the backside]
Edd: CURSE THIS DREADED LACADAISICATHRO DISEASE!!
[Edd breaks into tears whilst Nazz goes over to talk to him]
Nazz: Dude, I think somebody's playing a joke on you. [shows Edd the "Kick Me" sign] Don't sweat it, 'kay.
[The kids exit the lane]
Sarah: What an idiot!
[Edd looks at the sign in anger, realising it was Ed and Eddy who tricked him]
Edd: Ooh! Those, those... RAPSCALLIONS!!!!
[Edd heads back to Kevin's house, where the Eds are situated]

Kevin [left in the dark]: Okay, now I'm mad.
[From the outside, Ed and Eddy are seen laughing at the fact they've coverevd Kevin's house with bricks. Edd then arrives, who isn't happy with either of them]
Edd: Are you PROUD OF YOURSELVES?!?
Eddy: Hang on there, Hamlet.
[Ed and Eddy continue their laughter, at Kevin's expence]
Ed: Too rich, huh, Double D?
Edd: LISTEN TO ME!!!
Eddy: How could we not?
Edd [producing the "Kick Me" sign]: This was found on my body!! You had me believe I was expiring!!
Eddy: Rage, er, isn't that a symptom, Dr. Ed?

Hand-Me-Down Ed

[Upon finding the boomerang, Jimmy places it under his shirt]
Jimmy: Look at me, I'm a bruiser. [laughter]
[The effects of the boomerang make Jimmy stronger]

[After encountering the changed Sarah]
Ed:Baby sister is all cuddly and sweet like Dad's bushy ears!
Edd: GOOD LORD! GET AWAY FROM ME! ED, DO SOMETHING! (running away)

Edd: Isn't that the boomerang Sarah had?
Ed: (pushes Edd with his head) A boomerjigger?

[Ed is typing on a typewriter with the boomerang behind his ear.]
Ed: Chasing phantoms: A dissertation on unifying field theory and it's effects on leptons and quasars. By Edward.
Edd: Eddy, come quick! You're not going to believe this!
Eddy: What the heck are you doing over there? The scam's over here!
Ed: At any rate, I balk at the result: photo-molecular dissipation. Do you concur?
Eddy: Ahem.
Edd: Eddy, did you hear that? Ed has finally found his intellect! I theorize, that in puberty, a hormonal imbalance has unclogged Ed's-
Eddy: [cutting Edd off] All I hear are a COUPLE OF SLACKERS!!
Ed: Hostility is the calling card of the weak intellect.

Eddy: WHO ARE YOU?! STOP IT! STOP IT!
[Eddy takes the boomerang away from Edd]
Edd: [shocked] What the Sam Hill is Going on Here?! I'M NAKED!!!

Edd: [covering his naked self to the rest] I'M NOT MOVING FROM THIS SPOT!

Ed: What an indian, inadequate, and inefficacious journey this has been.
Eddy: [Gasped] Casey Jr.'s all alone! Mommy's here, sweetie, don't cry!
Edd: I getting the need to feel the breeze between my knees! [removes underwear and wiz] Got the ticket!
Eddy: Not in front of the baby, please! Casey, cover your eyes!
Ed: Distasteful dullard!

Run for Your Ed

Ed: SOAP! YUCK! FRESH! CLEAN! SANDY! NO SOAP!

Ed [throwing a bottle of soap away]: I dispense with you, disgusting detergent of the deep!! For I, Ed, can remove the bottle with... sticky-tape!
Edd: Stickytape?
Eddy: Stick? You're already stuck, numbskull!
Ed: And your point is?
Eddy [walking away]: This is stupid.
Edd: Ed may have something here. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, you know.
Ed: Just follow my smell, bucko!

Stiff Upper Ed

[Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to "sink"]
Eddy: What?!? We're sinking?!
Edd: Lifeboats! I FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!!
Ed: It wasn't me!

[Sarah slams the gate door open for new members of her's and Jimmy's Rich Club]
Sarah: So glad you could come.
[Nazz arrives, in a posh-looking dress]
Nazz [in a posh accent]: I wouldn't have missed it for the world, darlings.

Here's Mud in Your Ed

Edd: Have your mother and father seen what you've done, Eddy? BECAUSE WHEN THEY DO, YOU'LL PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR GREED!
Ed: Yes he will, Double D! 'Cause Eddy's gonna buy him a new house!
Eddy: 'Cause I've got me a magic money tree seed!
[Edd looks at Eddy's purchase in a concerned manner]
Eddy: And when it sprouts, I'll buy you a new hat.
Edd: What, with this,Eddy? A crudely drawn bank note on the back of a soup label?
Eddy: No! With the oodles of dough from my money tree, HAHAHA![pulls out the "seed"]
Edd: ...That is not a seed, Eddy. That is a discarded spool.
Eddy: ...THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO FLEECE ME?! Well, TWO can play at this game! (states pointing two fingers at the air) I got a plan. (He tries to make Edd come but he just sits there.) Plan, I said!
Edd: I can't!
Eddy: Why not?
Edd: Because I desperately need to go to the bathroom! An unfortunate reaction to this stressful situation, I'm sure. (runs away)
Ed: You still got me, Eddy!
Eddy: (sacastically) Boy, ain't I lucky? (grabs Ed and runs away)

Ed [As Edd-puppet]: Oh dear. I fell.
Eddy: Get back here, gimme back my stuff!! [slams the door]
Rolf [nervous]: Ed-boy, please stop, you will wake Nana. Silence, yes? Thank you.
Eddy: SILENCE?! I'LL GIVE YA SILENCE!
Ed [being smacked to the door]: Who's there? [being smacked again] Who's there? [once again] Who is there?
Rolf: Ed-boy, please forgive Rolf, as Rolf will make good by giving you the real money tree seed.
Eddy [not too convinced] Real money tree seed?
Edd: Oh please, do you really think he'll fall for that old-?
Eddy: DEAL!!
[Rolf and Jimmy give him a real money tree seed, a bolt]
Eddy: I'm rich! [kicks the real bush, and puts the "seed" in the soil, waters it, and puts in a small fence with a sign saying "Eddy's Money Tree"] And its mine! All mine!! [laughs maniacally]
Ed: Even I am not that dumb, Double D.
Edd: An iris-in would be appropriate, don't you think? [iris in on Eddy] Thank you.

Stuck in Ed

Eddy: I can't think of a scam.

Postcards from the Ed

Jonny: [Holding two planks] Ed, Edd and Eddy, I like you to meet Plank's Mom and his Dad. [zooming to the Eds] They just moved in from out of town. [Ed releases Eddy stuck in his mouth]

Take This Ed and Shove It

Rolf: A potato monger!?
Edd: Well you see-
Rolf: Rolf wishes to be a barber.
Edd: A barber?
Rolf: Rolf is a barber! [Showing muscle]
Ed: Party at Rolf's house!

Old Jonny: Hey Eddy! Nice day isn't it? Whatcha staring at? Did Nazz forget her pants again?

Old Jonny: She still got it, huh, Eddy?
Old Eddy: Got what? Liver spots? I can't take this anymore! [Trips Over] Ow! My hip!

Old Rolf: Hello, Kevin.
Old Eddy: Huh? I'm not Kevin.
Old Rolf: Who is this Kevin you speak of? (changes subject) ROLF'S TRACTOR IS NOT FOR SALE!

Old Ed: You remember the funniest things, Eddy. Like... uh I forget.
Old Eddy: It was all just stories? Memories from the past? We really are old!

Season 5

Mission Ed-Possible

[Edd is stuck at his desk, sat between Ed and Eddy. This goes on during the math, woodwork, geography and cooking classes. Ed and Eddy then close in on Edd one minute before the final bell]
Edd [to his cooking teacher]: Pardon me, sir. But may I be excused to the restroom? [pause for response] Thank you.
[Edd leaves the class in an attempt to get a head start]
Eddy [incoherently]: Suckerpunch!
[Edd runs toward the door]
Edd: Now to get to the outside before the final bell!!
[The final bell rings before he could even get outside. He is then stood on by other kids]
Jonny [to Plank]: Race ya home, buddy! [laughter]
Lee Kanker: Meat Loaf Monday, girls!
Marie Kanker: Last one home peels mom's bunyans!
May Kanker: No bunyans for me. I'm on a diet.

[Ed and Eddy are about ambush Edd from the school's main entrance, only to have caught Rolf]
Ed [after getting Rolf with the net]: Got him, Eddy!
Eddy: You idiot!! Does this look like Double D?
[Ed looks closely at Rolf's face before dropping his net]
Ed: Hmm. Maybe with a hat?
[Eddy shoves his cone through Ed's head before looking closely at the entrance door to see if Edd's still inside]
Eddy: HEY, ROLFIE! YOU SEEN DOUBLE D?!
Rolf [carrying his bag]: Double D Ed-boy? Err, I am an innocent son of a shepard. I know nothing. Goodbye.
[Rolf's bag breaks open, causing his typewriter to fall out. Edd comes out of the typewriter like a sheet of paper]
Eddy: IT'S THE RAT!!

[Edd attempts to escape Ed and Eddy via Kevin's bike. However, he puts off Sarah and Jimmy from their after-school carnival in the lane]
Eddy: GIVE US THOSE REPORT CARDS!! [They see Edd cycle the opposite way] That-a-way, Ed!
Ed [turning his head]: Which-a-way, Eddy?
[Eddy notices Sarah approaching]
Eddy: SARAH AHEAD!!
[Sarah is seen, angrilly heading toward Ed and Eddy]
Ed: Sarah no good for Ed, Eddy!
[Ed turns around, much to the cost of the fence]
Eddy: GO, LUMPY, GO!!
[Edd continues cycling, only to be caught by Kevin]
Kevin: Any last words before I pound ya?!
[Eddy and Ed catch Edd, also running over Kevin and Sarah]
Ed: Beep-beep!
Eddy: End of the road, Mr. Do-Gooder!! Hand over those report cards!! [Edd gets an umbrella from his satchel and hooks it onto a tree branch. And in the process, leaving Ed and Eddy crushed by the tree. They then break out of the debris, only to see Edd flying off via umbrella] How'd he do that?
Ed [tearful]: He's too smart for us, Eddy!![Ed blows his nose on Eddy like a tissue] We'll never catch him.
[Ed drops Eddy]
Eddy: Don't count your biscuits before they hatch, Lumpy! Sock-head may be smart, but he's weak. And he'll never deliver those report cards... ALIVE!!!
[Eddy gives a sinister cackle before receiving a big hug from Ed]
Ed: I'M ALIVE, EDDY!! I'M ALIVE!!!

[Edd safely lands in the construction site, but as he progresses on, he sees a giant hole created by Ed and Eddy]
Eddy [to Ed]: Deadly-Do-The-Right-Thing doesn't stand a chance. It's brawn over brains, I tell ya! [to Edd once he sees him] A-HA! You're trapped!! There's no escaping now, Smart guy!! Hand over those report cards!! [Edd makes an odd face at the audience before taking a left turn to avoid their pit] He's getting away!!
Ed [still digging]: Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole! Dig a hole!
[Eddy kicks Ed in the rear]
Eddy: YOU SHOULD'VE DIG DEEPER!!
[Ed lands on top of Eddy. As for Edd, he makes it out of the construction site, but is soon blocked by the Kankers' trailer, set up by both Ed and Eddy]
Eddy [tangled in the antenna above the trailer]: Just like our report cards, you've failed!

[The Kankers are in their trailer eating meat loaf for dinner, despite May's being stolen by Marie, then by Lee. Edd comes through, without looking at the Kankers]
Edd: I'm sorry! I hope you're decent! Pardon me! Excuse me!
[Ed and Eddy also come through]
Eddy: Get back here, you watery little...! [Eddy turns his attention to the Kankers after Lee Kanker trips him over] Hey! What's with you?
Lee: Looks like desert showed up just in time, girls!
Marie [refering to Eddy]: Shortcake, my fave.
May [refering to Ed]: And the tall milkshake.
[Edd escapes through the window whilst Ed and Eddy face kisses from the Kankers]

[Edd returns to the Cul-de-Sac, exhausted from escaping Ed and Eddy]
Edd: Tired, so tired. [Edd collapses onto the pavement] I can't go on. [Edd sees Eddy's house] Oh, so close. [Edd gets back up] I must! I will! I shall! [Edd makes it to the door and raises his voice toward Ed and Eddy] I COMMEND YOUR EFFORTS, GENTLEMEN! BUT AS ALWAYS, THE SANCTUM OF EDUCATION CHAMPIONS THE DAY!
[Edd is about to knock on the door, but Ed and Eddy bust the door open from the other side]
Eddy: Who's the smart guy, now, huh?! [Eddy snatches Edd's satchel for the report cards, but can't find them] What the...?! Where did the report cards go?!
[A bugle is then heard, and it's the Urban Rangers]
Jimmy: Congratulations, Ranger Rolf, on your task well complete. It is an honor I present to you the "Report Card Delivery" Badge!
[Jimmy awards the badge to Rolf]
Rolf: Yes, thank you, very good, thank you, thank you. [Rolf looks to the sky, giving the Urban Ranger salute] Rolf is pleased!
Eddy: Our report cards?
Edd: Oh, honestly, I feel sick about all this, but when the principal chose me for this responsibility, I had no other recourse but to accept, and to save you being upset for your own good.
[Eddy is about to get his hands on Edd, only to be caught by his father]
Eddy: Dad!?! Wait! Err, the grades are in Greek this year. I'll be good. I SWEAR!!
[Ed, sat in a puddle of his own tears, is then caught by the ear by his mother]
Ed: Uh-oh. [tearful] No AUNTIE for Ed. MOMMY! NO AUNTIE FOR ED!!
Edd [picking up his bag]: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I suppose some lessons just have to be learned the hard way.
[Edd is stopped in his tracks by Kevin, who has his broken bike with him]
Kevin: Ain't that the truth?
[Kevin laughs as Edd looks at him in fear]

Every Which Way But Ed

Ed: Zapity Zap Zap!
Ed: We were standing next to a... hole in the wall... right after a big... boom, remember?
Ed: Me and Double-D were here, and Eddy, you were here.
Eddy: This ain't the hole!

Cleanliness is next to Edness

Edd: IS A SHOWER TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!

Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed

Out With the Old, In With the Ed

[Bad weather has struck in the cul-de-sac]
Nazz: What's with this weird weather?

I Am Curious Ed

[Jonny attempts to tell Sarah and Jimmy how babies (birds) are born. Jonny then feeds Jimmy a worm]
Jimmy: I swallowed a wiggly!
Sarah: JONNY, YOU IDIOT!! [Jonny, along with Sarah, Jimmy and the nest, all fall into Rolf's back garden] THAT'S IT! YOU'RE PULP!!
[Sarah fights Jonny, then Rolf comes out]
Rolf: Stop! Have you gone crazy?! [Rolf comes over to break up the fight] What's the meaning of this que-cera-cera?
Sarah [pointing at Jonny]: fat-head made Jimmy eat a worm!

Ed: If I may reirritate ["Reitterate"], babies come from storks!!

[Ed flies carrying Eddy and dropping him into a chimney. Ed starts wailing like a baby upon landing inside the house]
Ed: There, screeching like a baby. Sure, does it stink when I'm right?
[Edd grabs a chair in concearn]
Edd: Ed. How did you do that?
Ed: What? This, Double D? [Ed flaps his arms, but falls to the ground] Yep, my head's still on, Double D.
Eddy [off-screen]: ED!!

No Speak da Ed

Cool Hand Ed

Ed: Yeah Eddy! The School will tell Sarah, and she'll tell Mom, and Mom will tell Dad, AND DAD WILL JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH TV!!!

[Edd has refused to partake in Eddy's plan of breaking out of school]
Eddy: Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall.
Edd: You wouldn't dare!!
[Ed then sharpens a pencil using his mouth]

Ed [After Eddy ties his and Johnny's heads together]: Is it a hamburger, Eddy?

Too Smart For His Own Ed

[Ed has to spell the word, "ectoplasm," and rolls over to the microphone]
Ed: Ectoplasm. E-C-T-O-P-L-A-S-M. Ectoplasm.
[This brings joy to Eddy, and concearn to Ed's opponent, Edd]

Who's Minding the Ed?

  • Jonny: Wow! Are you guys bus boys or something?

Eddy: Jonny, quick! Oh, look, Kevin's being attacked by a rabid rake!
(Shows Kevin raking some leaves)
Jonny: Holy mackerel, Plank! Kevin's in trouble! Watch out for those leaves!
(Jonny attacks the rake)
Jonny: Take that!
Kevin: Unbelieveable!
Jonny: Grab his feet, Plank!
Eddy: (giggles) Geronimo!
(Eddy jumps on top of the leaves. So does Ed and Edd)
(Kevin spots them)
Eddy: Run away!
Kevin: I'm on to ya, dorks! Try that again, and I'll pound ya!
Edd: Oh, my goodness! My apologies once again, Kevin.
Jonny: WE'LL SAVE YA KEV!!!!



  • Eddy: Let's hit 'em again, lug nut!

Ed: Hit 'em again, hit 'em again, hit 'em again! HAHAHA!! I forgot what I said!



  • Rolf: Listen to Rolf carefully, brick shy of a full load Ed boy!

Ed: That's me!

  • Rolf: And watch the chickens, as they do not like to be seperated, except for Bridget, who prefers solitude.

Eddy: What's with Rolf's Von stupid clothes?
Ed: Rolf's gotta go to a family reunion and I, Ed, am responsible for his favorite furry friends.
Eddy: Hahahah! Your're kidding, right?



  • Eddy: Ok, sockhead! This is the part where you have some big word, smart guy way to get out of these stupid situations. Go for it.

Edd: Not this time, Eddy. Ed's given Rolf his word, and as his friends, we have an obligation to support his disconnected decision and do our part.



  • Sarah: Ed! You'd better get these animals out of this house, mister, or I'm tellin' mom!

Ed: No animals here, oh cramp in my rump sister of mine.
Sarah: NOW, STUPID HEAD!!!!!!



  • Edd: Sara does have a point, Ed.

Ed: But Double-D, they're so cute and cuddly.
Eddy: My favorite shirt, shot! Throw 'em out, Ed! Who needs 'em?
Ed: Inky, Dinky, stinky you.



  • Ed: (Playing with Rolf's animals, in a firefighter costume) It's a four sausage fire, Double D!



  • Edd: Just look at this filth! Our four-legged guests aren't going to clean up after themselves, you know!!



  • Ed: Hot cocoa and potato salad! Who's with me?!



  • Edd: Edward, this charade of lies is in danger of inaccountability. Perhaps you should consider caring for Rolf's animals elsewhere?

Ed: Hold that think!



(Talking to Eddy after Eddy got crushed by an opening door)

  • Rolf: Hello, he who resembles a swollen thumb Ed boy!



  • Rolf: Please pass on Rolf's gratitude to the lacking chin Ed boy! Goodbye!



  • Ed: Who's up for some hockey? (Appears in a strange uniform, including an Ontario Maple-Leaves shirt, a snorkel, and tennis racket and a pair of socks around his neck)Fore! hahahaha! Where did everybody go?

Edd: Uh...
Ed: Oh I get it, hide and seek. Ok! Ready or not here I come! Hello? Ok, furry friends, you win! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Edd: Um excuse me Ed, but it seems Rolf entered, um, early and gathered his..
(Eddy throws Edd out of the way)
Eddy: Yeah, he took all his pets and hauled 'em back to his dump.
Ed: (Bursts into tears as Edd gets out an umbrella) Say it isn't so!! Come back, little ones! I miss my furry friends, guys.
Eddy: Ah, you're better off without 'em, blubberpuss.
Ed: Don't talk to me.
Edd: Eddy, can't you see Ed has developed a bond of friendship with Rolf's creatures? We own to help him through this difficult time of seperation.
Eddy: What, again? What about my difficult time of having you on my back through this whole show?! (Collapses on the floor, then jumps back to his feet almost instantly) Hey! I got an idea of a friend who can help old sad sack here.
Edd: Do tell, Eddy.



Eddy: Huh? What'd I tell ya, Ed? Isn't he fuzzy and cuddly or what?
Ed: Can I keep him, Eddy?!
(Edd is dressed in a very cute bunny costume)
Edd: Ha ha ha; yes, very good Eddy, I think you made your point quite clear. Oh, I'll admit I may have been a tad bit overbearing today, but not without good intentions and concern for Ed's safe and well- (Ed tackles Edd and starts to squeeze him, far too hard)
Ed: Hug the bunny, hug the bunny! Awww! Look, he likes me Eddy!(Ed starts to pet Double-D very hard) Purr like a bunny, purr like a bunny, purr like a bunny!
Edd: RABBITS DON'T PURR, ED! Wait! Don't leave me, Eddy!!
Eddy: Not this time, sockhead. I've got an obligation.[pulls up a booth]Pet the bunny! Only 25 cents!
Edd: Eddy!!!

Pick an Ed

  • Edd: Why, Eddy? Why, I ask you? Yet another detention for you and I? It's all fun and games until academic grades fall, mister.

Eddy: Ah, lighten up; it builds character, sockhead. Did you see how big that vein got when the teacher started yelling? Man, I thought I was gonna bust!
Edd: The teacher had every right to be upset, Eddy! Why, just the electrical rewiring of that room will take weeks!
Eddy: Hahah! You should have seen the look on your face, sockhead!
Ed: And did you see the look on Ed's face? I almost wet my eyebrow, guys! Chump here sure knows funny, guys.
(Ed and Eddy laugh)
Eddy: Who you callin' chump?!
Ed: Look! (Reads the writing on the wall) Eddy is a no neck chump. Can I have your autograph?
Edd: Good lord! Who in their right mind would deface a sanctum of education?!?
Eddy: Somebody who's out to ruin my good name, that's who! It's a smear campaign, I tell ya!
Edd: (Slowly more and more snide) Oh, come now, Eddy. This is in no way a greater scheme to ruin your reputation. Why, I think you've done a good job of that on your own.



  • Edd: What in heaven's name are you doing?! Don't in the lost and found! Has this whole school gone mad?!?

Ed: Not me, Double D! I'm in my happy place, 'cause Eddy, the no-neck Chump, has a plan!



  • Edd: Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?

Ed: Every day of my life, Double D.



Ed: Look! A new kid! My name is Ed, friend. Well it's just "Ed", not "Ed, friend". I am Ed and you are friend, so-
Eddy: Howdy, Ed! My name's uhh,umm...Carl. My family just flew in from...Ecuador.
Ed: Eddy's gonna like you, Carl.
Eddy: Bingo.
Ed: Oh Eddy! Come and meet Carl, Eddy! Eddy?



Eddy: Howdy, I'm new in town and was wondering if-
Rolf: Rolf shares in your awkwardness, as Rolf too is a stranger in this strange land. A son of shepherd. Past the drift of the far distant shore.
Ed: Rolf, have you seen this no neck chump?
Rolf: The snake in the grass Ed boy is missing?
Ed: Yep, if you see him, bind him with duct-tape as he does not play well with others and has been known to dribble.
Rolf: Is this so?



  • Jonny: We're playing hockey, and you can be shortstop.

Kevin: Don't listen to clueless, Carl. So, you good for some extra yards after that catch, bro?
Jonny: Plank says we need to break the new kid in.
Kevin: Right. Dogpile on the new kid!
Jonny: Woohoo!
Kevin: Righteous!
Nazz: Yeah!
Sarah: Dog-pile on the new kid!
Jimmy: Here I go, sucka!
Jonny: Did you hear my back crack?!
Nazz: Isn't this fun? Hi I'm Nazz. What's your name?
Eddy: Umm...I forget. No wait! Uhhh-Carl,yeah.
Ed: People! I have lost my Eddy. Trip you might over him, as he is short and squirrels like to pelt him with nuts.
Jimmy: My wish has come true, Sarah! Eddy has disappeared!
Sarah: Good riddance.
Eddy: So Kevin, who is this good lookin' Eddy Kid anyway?
Kevin: Don't sweat it Carl, something you'll never be. A dork!
Eddy: Thanks guy.
Jonny: Watch me, Carl! One potato, two potato, three potato, four!
(Jonny hits Kevin with a football)
Jonny: It's a homerun, buddy!
Kevin: Carl, help me lug this guy.



Edd: Well Carl, have you found this perpetrator of your smear campaign yet?
Eddy: Double D, somethings really messed up here. They're all been nice, too nice! Feels like they're sitting me up for something.
Edd: As foreign as it may sound to you; it's called acceptance, Carl. Unlike Eddy, Carl has done nothing to ostracize himself from the group dynamic. Carl has a clean slate, if you will.
Eddy: No foolin'?
Ed: Have you seen my Eddy? His turn-on's are full length mirrors, greasy hair products, and yelling-LOTS OF YELLING!!!
Eddy: Looks like a loser to me.
Edd: But that loser is you Eddy.
Eddy: Not anymore, kid. That dork's hit the trail. From now on, it's the good life with Carl, kid. That's me! Nice guy.
Edd: But Eddy, there is no CARL!!
Kevin: Whoa, Carlster; you know these two dorks?
Eddy: Not likely, friend. I wouldn't hang with these wash-outs if they were that last two dorks on Earth.
Kevin: Hahaha! Right on! You're awesome, man.
Edd: Well, I never! Of all the no good-! Ed, Eddy's tossed us aside the shallow alure of the in-crowd.
Ed: I miss my Eddy, Double D!!!
Edd: Worry not, dear Ed. I have a suspicion that Eddy will be back sooner than he thinks.



  • Ed: Somewhere my Eddy is cold and alone, and will soon have to resort to having to eating his own body parts in order to survive, Double D!!

Edd: Perhaps a rest from televison tonight, yes Ed?



  • Kevin: Man, what's with all the new kids?

Nazz: Kinda nice; the more the merrier.
Jonny: I bet they're gonna take over and get us expelled!
Jimmy: Do you think so, Sarah?
Sarah: Jonny's an idiot, Jimmy.

Eddy: (Jonny shoves Plank to uncover Eddy) Say, who's awesome handwriting is this?

(Jonny listens to what Plank says)

Eddy: It's so smart and neato. (to Kevin) I bet it was the cute guy in the red hat.

Truth or Ed

Eddy: [to Ed] Yeah, right. You'd rather wear your underwear for a week.
Ed: Not today Eddy. 'Cause I'm goin SOLO!
Edd: Are you ready to take that first step into the exciting world of journalism?
Ed: As long as I don't get any on my shoes, Double D! My mom has new carpets.

Nazz: [holding a paper to Sarah] I Know, it Was you haven't to Bobby Blabby with the Hairy Leg Story, butt-head!
Sarah: [shocked to Nazz, after record scratches squeeks] WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!

Edd: (nervous) I have no idea what you're talking about!
Kevin: (hands the newspaper) Who wrote this stuff?
Edd:[looking at the paper]: Miniature aliens? hairy legs? Lost cities and Spandex bicycle shorts? Who indeed is Bobby Blabby? [Eddy attempts to sneak off with the money] Eddy? Care to explain?
Eddy [nervous]: Uhh... Couldn't tell ya. That guy's a jer- [The coins fall off Eddy's head]
Ed: You dropped your money, Bibby Boo-baa!
Eddy: IT'S BOBBY BLABBY!! GET IT RIGHT!! [Eddy puts his hands against his mouth, realising he has said the wrong thing] Ooops.

[Eddy is forced into knitting a doily]
Eddy: I hate toiliets.

This Won't Hurt An Ed

[As a joke on Kevin, Ed and Eddy announce a booster shot for the school. Upon hearing this and seeing some of Eddy's mind games, Kevin collapses]
Jimmy: KEVIN FAINTED!!
Nazz [to Kevin]: Dude, are you okay?

Ed [In shock from a needle]: NEEDLE!?!

[Edd has just finished reorganising the files, only to end up bumping into Jonny]
Jonny [pulling his pants down]: Me and Plank are next, nurse assistant Double-D.
Edd: Jonny, make yourself decent, man!

[Ed has brought Eddy over to the medical room for a booster shot]
Eddy: Hey! Let me go!! Untie me!
Ed: I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D!
Edd: The nurse thanks you, Eddy.
Eddy: Oh Yeah?! What for?
Edd: For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.
[Eddy sees the nurse getting the needle ready, and soon has the fear of them himself]
Eddy: Oh no you don't!! Not me!!
[Eddy tries to run away, only to be caught by Ed]
Ed: Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after.
Eddy: Mommy.
[Ed drags Eddy into the medical room]
Kevin: Sweet.
Eddy [whilst hesitantly getting his arm out for the nurse]: But... No! Don't do it!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!
Ed: NEEDLE!?!
[Ed runs out of the medical room, but comes back to pick up his lollypop]
Eddy: I HATE NEEDLES!!
[Kevin is heard laughing whilst Ed walks off with his lollypop in his mouth]

Tinker Ed

Edd: They were all part of an ingenious hoax!

Eddy: All that for a stupid quarter! How desperate can you get?

The Good, the Bad and the Ed

Eddy: I'll throw in the towel when it's laundry day, Double-D!

Eddy [after learning that he's lost by default]: ONE LOUSY SECOND!?!

Tight End Ed

Edd and Eddy: Since when does Ed shower!?

Edd [attempting to cheer everyone up at the loss of the game]: It's not how you win or lose, it's how you play the game![quietly]As it may...

'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place

Edd: It's all fun and games 'til Ed loses conciousness, Eddy.

Jonny: Am I the host of the most or what?

Ed and Jonny: NEVER ENDING PARTY! NEVER ENDING PARTY! NEVER ENDING PARTY!

All Eds Are Off

Eddy: Look like we've got ourselves a bet.

[Eddy has just noticed Rolf emptying meat out of his locker, but causes him to bump into Sarah]
Sarah: HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, FISHFACE!
[Eddy is just about to yell at Sarah, but soon remembers his role in the bet. Kevin and Rolf take notice]
Rolf: Hello.
Eddy [to Sarah]: Ahem. Nice try, windbag.

Ed: [Sucking on the cafeteria table. He isn't allowed to eat gravy because of the bet made on him]. Table kinda tastes like gravy...

Edd: Irony, Eddy. Try looking that up in the dictionary.
[Eddy is almost left speechless from what Edd has just said. However, this results in him getting a bucket of butterscotch pudding from the cafeteria]
Eddy: Oh yeah? Well, I've got an entire bucket of butterscoth pudding [writes down Ed's name in butterscotch pudding] with Ed's name on it!! How's that for ironing?!
[Knowing that he's allergic to butterscotch pudding, Ed makes a run for it alongside Edd. Despite slipping on some of it, Eddy still gives chase]

Smile For the Ed

Ed: Don't touch that dial, kids!
Edd: Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.
Kevin: Bummer.
Eddy: You heard the man.
Edd: Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?"

Eddy: "Talk about adding insect to injury. Two hours of stinking cleanup. Plus, a week's worth of detention for impersonating the Principal. I don't even remember doin' that!"

Run, Ed, Run

Ed [to Eddy]: The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Eddy! It hit me on the head! It did!
Eddy:You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.
Edd: This isn't possible! (a 'piece' of the sky falls)
Eddy: Ed was Right, The Sky IS Falling!
Ed: Thank you very Much.
Eddy: (The sky starts to break) So, now what do we do.
Edd: I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.
(The Eds fall)

A Town Called Ed

Edd [looking]: The Kankers own Peach Creek.

A Fistful Of Ed

Edd [sweating as Lee advances]: Perhaps a quiet perusal of this book, so that you too can discover the wonders of egg hatching for yourself?
Lee [looming closer]: Sweet talking won't get you everywhere!

Ed [talking to his egg, Double G]: So, little Double G. Seeing as my old pal Double D is now a nasty MacDuster Knuckles, you are going to be my new friend. What would you like to do today? [Ed peers closely at the egg and appears to listen for a reply. Ed carries on, imitating Edd's voice] I, Double G, am gentle unlike that evil Double D you speak of. Shall we talk about fossils and dish soap? [Ed goes back to his normal voice in a tearful manner] Double D used to talk about dish soap, all the time.
[Ed completely breaks down until he's carried by Eddy]

Eddy [eats that hot dog and talks with his mouthfull, angrily]: Is everybody happy? Good! Jeez!

May I Have This Ed?

Ed: This is my friend Sheldon..... uh Junior.

:
[the school gets destroyed on its own]
Ed [over the bushes]: NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!
Edd: It seems I did learn something from your brother's book, I got to dance with Nazz.
Ed: And I got Wilfred's phone number, guys.
Eddy: You're an idiot, Ed.

Look Before You Ed

Sarah: Come on, Jimmy!
[pause]
Nazz: Let him have it, dudes!
Jimmy: Snowball Ambush!

Jimmy [frightfully]: Winter Scares me.
Sarah [joyfully]: Winter time's fun, Jimmy!

Ed: Habachi Man, Double D!

Rolf: Rolf finally feels safe enough to appear in this motion episode.

Specials

Ed, Edd, n' Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle

Eddy: A dickey? They still make these?
(He opens the next present only to find it's socks)
Eddy: Say it ain't so!
(He opens the last one and finds fluffy, bunny pajamas, he starts to foam at the mouth)
Eddy: I HATE GETTING CLOTHES FOR CHRISTMAS!
(He throughs it it the lantern, and it hits a mirror sending the light to the sky, directly over the trailer park)

Lee: It's your turn, May.
Marie: Christmas crackers are a hoot!
May: Hurry up maybe you'll get a paper crown!
Marie: Of course, I'll get a paper crown. They all come with a paper crown, stupid!
(Marie sticks up the strings, and lets go the cracker. May stares)
May: Is it dead, Marie?
Lee: Just like you, huh May?
(Explosion. May's head slips off)
Marie: Lee, May got a makeover! (grabs the paper crown)
May: (pulls her head out) I knew you would get a paper crown. (May points to the twinkling star) Do you see what I see? Something twinkling in the sky!
Lee: Where?
Marie: (pushes Lee aside) It's just the sky, stupid!
Lee: (grabs May and Marie by their necks and lets go) Wait, I see it! Buckle up girls, and let's see what the huff is all about.
Marie: (gets up) Yeah, May.
May: (gets up) Yeah, Marie.
(And soon, as the snow was covered of what seemed like a desert, the Kankers walk over it, following the star to its direction. Reenactment of the three kings who travelled from far to see Jesus, in the Christmas night)

Eddy: (grabs Ed by the face) Yeah, right! And I'm a little leprechaun looking for his pot of gold! (Throws ed out of the way an sits on the chair) I hate Christmas!
(Ed gets nervous)
Edd: Come now, Eddy. Surely you'd jest! (No response) Eddy?
Eddy: Hey you know what? If ound my parents' Christmas stash, and all of my presents bite, Double D!
Edd: YOU DID WHAT?!? (shocked) Oh, Eddy! How could've you been so selfish! (saddened) Trust, shattered! Shame on you!
Ed: (nervously running with a wooden board) Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.
Eddy: Hey, you know it and I know it! Christmas is the one time of year, when parents are supposed to buy you everything you want, and all I got was lame'o clothes! (Ed carries him around the board and puts him down)
Edd: (Christmas music plays) Hold it right there, Mister! The true meaning of Christmas isn't about materialistic needs of selfish wants. Rather, it comes from here. (puts his hand on Eddy's chest)
Eddy: That's my udder you're touching.

Ed, Edd n' Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo

Eddy: Let's learn! Last one to class is a... (snapping back to reality) what am I saying? (he gets irritated)

Ed: (as he pulls out an smelly onion from inside his jacket) Love is like an onion, Double-D: the more you peel away its layers, the more it stinks.

Ed, Edd n' Eddy's Boo Haw Haw

  • Ed: YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS!!
  • Edd: (When neither Ed or Eddy can guess what he's dressed up as) The Bubonic plague, I'm the Bubonic Plague!!

Ed: (pointing to his big teeth) Like on your teeth?
Edd: NO! Not plaque! Plague! PLAGUE!

  • Ed: I am Lothar! Slayer of the undead, and justice for all!
  • Ed: EARTH IS NOT YOUR SALAD BAR!! (Hits Jimmy with a STOP sign.)
  • Jimmy: Ed attacked me, Sara! He was so hairy!
  • Ed: Cafe au lait!!
  • Rolf: Hello, head shy-of-a-full-load Ed-boy!
  • Eddy: (When he finds out he's ended up back in the Cul-de-Sack) Man, is my brother a jerk or what?!
  • Ed: (Upon seeing Nazz) Do not look her in the eyes, lest you turn to stone!

The Eds Are Coming!

Jimmy:Good morning, world!

(He sings his usual lullabies, then as he walks his teddy bears walk with him, then a butterfly takes out his pijama hat, and then, birds comb his hair)

Jimmy:I'm so awesome!

(Then he directs to a railroad sign and jumps right into the tiny train)

Mr. Sun: Good morning, Jimmy!

Jimmy: Good morning, Mr.Sun!

(Then he grabs a giant lollipop)

Jimmy: Candy, candy, candy! felicitations, citizens of the Cul-de-Sac.

(he passes over thru candy-in-their-mouths Nazz, Kevin and Rolf)

Kevin: Felicitations to you too jimmy!


(the Eds are being spanked by a huge spanking doll)

Eddy: Hamaik? Oh, like the fish!(Whack!)
Edd: Its headache. (Whack!)
Ed: My buttocks has a headache. (Whack!)

(he arrives at his own vision of the cul-de-sac, just when Sarah was on her way to him, just then, a villian from the sky, has a huge saw , cuts the cul-de-sac. Jimmy jumps.)

Jimmy: SARAH! (echo)
Sarah: JIMMY! (echo again. finds out he's holding out on a pipe.)



(Meteor crash with a Roaring Thunder)

Sarah: HOLY MACKEREL!

(As soon as the meteor crashes a huge wind plate throws Ed, Eddy, Jonny and others and makes them hit over a nightlight)

Edd: The playground!

Kevin: Follow me!

(They reach the playground and they see a hidious green smoke and as soon as the others arrive they see a green meteor that looks like a giant cheese wheel)

Edd: What in Heaven's name is that?

Kevin: Whatever it is its weird.

(Then a hand crawls out of the meteor and everybody panics, when all of the suuden Kevin is left alone, and sees the meteor cracked in two pieces)

Kevin: It hatched, man!

(Then we see Jonny and Plank hiding in the bottom of a nearby chair)


Ed: Don't look at the camera. Don't look at the camera.

Jimmy: Sarah... Robot Wiggly! Robot wiggly!

Ed: Issue 14, Zombie Aliens from Planet Rhubarb states: "More than often it is required to bait said aliens with a human female to lure potential flesh consuming extraterrestrials from their lair".

Nazz: That's so dumb!


(Everyone surrounds her & it fades to her being tied/dressed up in front of Rolf's house)

Ed: GUTTERBALL!

(after haven thrown all the bowling balls at Rolf's House and hitting only the fence around it)

(Grabs Eddy as he runs out the door & drags him back inside From a Rain)

Rolf: Ed boy you must stay, Nana sees the foot-rest potential in your "flat as a pancake" head.

Eddy: Ahhh no let me go, I don't wanna be an ottoman! Help.. Ed, Double D! (Ed hurls a trash can full of bowling balls towards Rolf's house. They all miss and roll around his house.)

Ed: Gutterball!

Edd: I hope you're going to pick those up.

Sarah: THEY GOT ME!

Ed: I'm coming baby sister!

Eddy: No Ed! (Eddy then pulls Ed) They will suck out your brain! (Eddy sees Jimmy in the mailbox and pull it sending Jimmy to Sarah .)

All of the Eds

Edd: Exposed!
Eddy: Busted.
Ed: Nope. Can't think of a word.

Edd: BLOCKADE!
Eddy: Kankers!
Ed: [camera is very close to his face] THE THREE HYENAS !
Edd: Retreat!

Edd: Ed! Do you know you've opened my door for hundreds of tiny insects, manifested in filth and diseases?!
Eddy: You just HAD to get him started, didn't you Ed...

Ed: '(trying to get goggles on)' Evil! Bad!
Edd: Here, Ed. Let me help... (suddenly smells Ed's lucky cheese, loses color, holds nose and scampers toward Eddy) Eddy! There's a horrible odor coming from you-know-who!
Ed '(with goggles on in a weird way)': North to Alaska.
Eddy: Ed stink? So what else is new?
Edd: Not like this, Eddy! I think I'm gonna be dead (runs off)
Eddy: What about my scam?
Ed: Maybe his mommy called him. (leans over Eddy, who looks disgusted. Mocking Edd's mother's voice) "Come home, Eddward, and pickle your feet!"
Eddy '(holding nose after a few seconds and pushing Ed away)': P.U., Ed! Did something crawl on you and die?

Edd: ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELVES?!
Eddy: Hang on there, Hamlet! [laughs]
Ed: Too rich, huh Double D?
Edd: LISTEN TO ME!!
Eddy:' How can we not?


Kevin: That's it! I'm gonna count to three...
Eddy: Don't bust an artery, Einstein.

Edd: Tell me, Ed. What flavor is it?
Eddy: Does it taste like a FIST?!
Ed: No, it sorta tastes like chicken.


Eddy(fighting over their only slovak jawbreaker): Get off! Now we only got one!
Edd: You're saying it's MY fault we lost the other jawbreaker!?
Eddy: Face it, Wilbur, you failed!
Edd: Now you've done it! (he weakly Punches Eddy harder) Take THIS!


Kevin: Nice job, Nazz! I knew you could-
Eddy: I wanna pitch to Nazz!
Kevin: Get out of my face, dork!
Johnny: Hold on! I wanna pitch to Nazz!
Ed: Hang on there, maties! I will throw the football to Nazz!
Eddy: It's a baseball, stupid!
Ed: Sure am, Eddy!(Boys Will Be EDs)


Eddy (potesting): Rolf's a jerk! Ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk! Ain't gonna work! Rolf's a jerk!
Johnny (jumps in): We hate broccoli!
(silence for a minute)
Eddy (continues): Ain't gonna work!(Will Work for ED)


Eddy: Can you guys give me a hand?
Ed: [extends Edd's hand] Found one!
Edd: This joke is older than my mesozoic fossil collection, Ed. (Home Cooked Ed)


Eddy: Enough torture! Let's get outta here and collect our jaw... what the-?! (sees a spider on the doorknob) Hit the road!
(Flicks the spider and the doorknob falls off and rolls into a hole)
Edd: Tell me that didn't happen!
Ed: It didn't happen.
Eddy (use his finger to open the door): Nothing a little "Eddy magic" wouldn't fix. (finger gets stuck) My finger's stuck, guys!
Ed: Good trick, Eddy! My turn! (Inhales) I am the cotton swab! Release the wax, Ear-person!
Edd (pulls Ed's hands down): You're scaring me more than usual, Ed! (lifts Eddy by the feet) Please pull Eddy loose SO WE CAN LEAVE!!
Eddy: Careful, Ed; I bruise like a banana.


Eddy: Now, what do girls like?
Ed: Sarah likes to watch me eat yogurt from my belly-button.
Edd: Thank you for sharing that with us, Ed.


[the eds are trapped in the kankers TV] Edd: [makes a noise like a siren]
Eddy: Shotgun! We're in hot pursuit!
Ed: It's my turn to drive!


Ed:[after telling his crazed version of how the eds ended up in jonny's wall] And stuck in your wall we are.
Edd:[sarky] Gee, Ed, what an enchanted world you live in!
Eddy: I got a CRAMP listening to you. OK, Jonny, theres your story how's 'bout pryin' us out of your wall?
Jonny: [mumbles & snores]
Eddy: Jonny?


Eddy: THE THREE HYENAS!
Ed: They've want us for Dinner Eddy!
Edd: RUN AWAY!!!

Ed and Eddy

Ed: Eddy, truth or dare?
Eddy: Okay, dare Ed.
Ed: Okay! I dare you, Eddy, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" through a car wash!

[on lava lamps, at night]
Ed: Eddy, how does the goo float?
Eddy: HIT THE ROAD!!
<Ed eats Eddy's lava lamp>
Eddy: My lava lamp!
Ed: Eddy, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter?

Ed: Who's that good-looking guy?
Eddy: Get some glasses, Ed.

Eddy: (imitating a pigeon, and scooping out and throwing ice cream)
Ed: Oink!
Eddy: Pigeons don't go oink, Ed!
Ed: I'm a gazelle. Oink!
(Ed throws an anvil and barely misses Nazz)
Eddy: Hey! You're gonna hurt someone! This ain't a cartoon!


Eddy: Ed, who'd you vote for?
Ed: The cookie, Eddy!

Eddy: He asked for a pen!
Ed: He asked for mustard, Eddy. Do you have corn in your ears, mister?
Eddy: (angrily) What's that supposed to mean?

Eddy: Hey, Ed! Check it out! (referring to his armpits)
Ed: Nice carpet, Eddy.

Eddy: If she told you to go jump in a lake with a rock tied to your head and wait for naked photos of you to develop so she could hand 'em out to all the kids in the cul-de-sac, would you?
Ed: I had socks on, Eddy.
Eddy: <groans>

Eddy: What planet are you from?
Ed: I come in peace, Eddy!

Eddy (referring to girls): We need to find their more sensitive side.
Ed: I found my sensitve side, and it has a rash.

Eddy: What could be more important than Master Eddy?!
Ed: COOKIE DOUGH! Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum...

Ed (swallows the stuff he suctioned from the gutter): Ah, I'm stuffed...
Eddy: Like your head! No teeth means no cash, and no cash means no jawbreakers! AHHHH! I LOOK LIKE A HOCKEY PLAYER!

Ed (pouring Chunky Puffs on the ground): They're hungry again, Ed-dy!
Eddy (grabbing Ed by the neck): So go feed them over there!

Ed (sitting in a wagon, naked): Is sitting naked in a wagon cool?
Eddy: No, skunkpits, it isn't!

Eddy (sees Ed's helmet on his butt): Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
Ed: For protection.
Eddy (grabs the helmet and pulls): It's made for your head!
Ed (holding on to the wall): It's my butt!
Eddy (using a crowbar): It's not safe!
Ed: EDDY! STOP!!
Eddy: It's not made-
(Rope breaks and sends Ed and Eddy to the ground)
Both: AHHHHHHHHH!! Oww!

Ed (shows up as a sumo wrestler): Guess what I am, guys?
Eddy: ...An idiot?
Ed: Been there, done that, Eddy!

Ed:What are you guys doing up there?
Eddy:Knitting sweaters, you maniac.

Ed:Am I cool now?
Eddy:No, you're naked.

Ed: "Beans, beans, they're good for your heart! The more you eat, the more-" Eddy: "Shut up, Ed."

Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed? Ed: Yes, I will, Eddy!

Ed and Edd

Edd: Ed! What in heaven's name were you thinking?
Ed: (proudly) Absolutely nothing, Double D.

Ed: Where's Eddy, Double-D?
Edd: Stuck to your foot like an old gum wrapper.

Edd: Did you know shadow puppetry is one of the oldest forms of entertainment?
Ed: Like walnuts?

Ed: Ow! My liver. Ow! My lasagna.
Edd: Ed, lasagna isn't a major organ.
Ed: It isn't?

Ed: Can I shave them? [referring to coconuts]
Edd: Dear Ed; you don't shave coconuts, you eat them.
Ed: Like report cards?

Eddy: Now, what do girls like?
Ed: Sarah likes to watch me eat yogurt from my belly button!
Edd: ...Now...before Ed fills my mind with any more disturbing images...

Ed: I wish I had a zit!
Edd: Ed, you have a boat on your back.

Ed: I am one with my shoe-size, Double D.
Edd: That's nice Ed, now hit the dang thing.
Ed: HI-
Edd: (Eddy replaces car bumper with Jonny) Jonny!?! (Moves out of Ed's way)
Ed: ...YA! (Head crashes into floor)

Ed: (trying to scare the hiccups out of Edd) I am a zombie and I will malice you with a shoehorn!
Edd: Malice me with a shoehorn?!

Edd: Help me find an alternate solution, Ed.
Ed: I don't know what one looks like, Double D.

Edd: Edward!!!
Ed: Yes, mommy?

Ed: (walking on hands) I should have the feeling back in my feet after this word from our sponsors, Double D.
Edd: (carrying sidewalk slab) Curse broadcast commercialism!

Ed: (riding Wilfred) Ed on a pig!
Edd: Uhh...Ed, you can't do that!

Edd: ED! WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME HAVE YOU DONE!!!
Ed: It's a boy!

Edd: Ed, do you realize that you walk in your sleep, and that you consumed all the food within a 5 block radius of your bed?
Ed: Not only that, but I feel as though I have consumed all the food within a 5 block radius of my bed.

Edd and Eddy

Eddy: Chicks dig pants. Nazz wears pants; Sarah wears pants.
Edd: You wear pants.
Eddy: I wear pants.
Edd (laughing): Pay attention, Eddy. Soft, clean, and fresh it is!
Eddy: I hate it when he does that.

Edd: This cardboard seems to possess interesting qualities and...
Eddy: Wow. Wood.

Edd: It's the ancestral fruitcake.
Eddy: Looks like you've got competition, Ed.
Edd: (Straining under the weight of the hardened fruitcake) For decades, we parade the cake every Christmas!

Edd: The most annoying thing you could come up with is a suit?
Eddy: (hmmm) What's with you? It was the most annoying thing I could think of.
Edd: My father wears a suit!
Eddy: Exactly!

Eddy: Read a magazine? I would if I knew where Ed hid them!
Edd: Oh, you read those?

Eddy: Our old clothes are way better.
Edd: Um, actually Eddy, our old clothes are much better.
Eddy: Doth my English bug you, bumpkin?!

Eddy: (to Jimmy becoming a sumo wrestler) Sumo wrestlers are revered!
Edd: In Japan.
Eddy: You'll have legions of fans to cater to your every whim!
Edd: In Japan.
(long silence, Eddy goes to Edd) Eddy: Okay Double-D, I'll bite. So your point is...?
Edd: Sumo wrestlers are revered, honored and affluent, only in JAPAN, Eddy!

Eddy: Must be Nazz.
Edd: And I'm Theodore Geisel .

Eddy: (spooky voice at candlelight) Double-D, let me poke your brain!
Edd: (shrieks and faints)

Eddy: (To Jimmy) Are you unconci.. unconci.. (Turns to Edd)
Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.
Eddy: (To Jimmy) Dead from the neck up?

Ed

Ed: Then I gaze at the stars!

Ed: (after ruining Eddy's surf school scam) Are we having fun yet?
Eddy: Oh, you'll have fun-HEALING after I get through with you!

Ed: Hello bug!

Ed: Greetings, Oh dear, sister of mine who shares the same mom and dad!

Ed: Shhh...the walls have ears.

Ed: [Repeated line] Buttered Toast!

Ed: [Repeated line] Gravy!

Ed: [Repeated line] Sticky Note!

Ed: [In a rare burst of intelligence] I wish I had brought my anti-gravity respectulizer to repixel the hot-and-cold tumbler on that lock!

Ed: I'm a noodle-head and you're not!

Ed: [as a reply to various comments from Edd when Edd was trying to make him get rid of his stinky cheese which he named Sheldon] Stinky hat!

Ed: The fish have chips, my fine friend.

Ed: [in an octopus costume] I'm an edipus, 'cause I'm Ed!

Ed: Hello, my name is Ed.

Ed: [sticking "$" labels on bags of trash] Boy, being rich really stinks.

Ed: Give me my fat!

Ed: [to Rolf while hypnotizing him] When I snap my fingers I want you to be a giant man eating noodle!

Ed:(Edd's skull on his head) I am dead from the neck up!

Ed: Cafe au lait!

Ed:[when Plank lands in his lap] No need to say anything, Plank, 'cause I would not hear it anyway.

Ed: No! It's my horse!

Ed: Can we visit the planet Baconman and have the marrow sucked from our bones?

Ed: One plus one equals one on a bun.

Ed: I am a zombie and I will malice you with a shoehorn!

Ed: I saw this in a movie 'I Married A Thorax'.

Ed: Have mercy, child of the netherworld.

Ed: (after the kids are trapped under a giant pancake, he eats part of it and pulls out Kevin's pants) I got a prize, Eddy!

Ed: Ow! My Liver! Ow! My lasagna!

Ed: Oh look, a whole box of alien exploratory probes dropped off in an attempt to save fuel during a mutiny of pulsing brain mutants!

Ed: Sarah likes to watch me eat yogurt from my belly button!

Ed: Shush! My yeast is rising!

Ed: Anyone got a breath mint?

Ed (imitating Eddy): This stupid bird stole my quarter, fly away with it, stupid.

Ed: The patient has suffered a Penelope to his headasaurus area, as well as a major gush from the--his goliath, uh, upper tube-veiny thing!

Ed: Horrible it was. A giant Swedish meatball with a blood-curdling scream grabbed Eddy in his drooling ground chuck!

Ed: (pointing finger) Can you pull my finger, Rolf? Rolf: No. [Ed cries]

Ed: Oh, I make a game out of [my zits], Eddy, 'cause I'm productive! You can play connect the dots. (Pulls up his shirt) See? It's a boat.

Ed: Pickle?

Ed: Uh, A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G. Don't you know your alphabet, Double D?

Ed: I claim this planet in the name of Ed, Bringer of Bacon!

Ed: Oh no, my brain came out!

Ed: Wigs scare me, Double D.

Ed: Ahh, the good ol' days...

Ed: I forgot to wear underwear, guys.

Ed: The sound of a babbling brook makes me want to babble, Double D.

Ed: Who brought the tartar sauce?

Ed: Plural pronouns!

Ed: SOAP! Yuk! Fresh! Clean! Nasty! No soap! Ahhhhhhh! Bad soap! Evil soap! Slippery, sudsey, scary soap!

Ed: You should write your name on your underwear, Double D. See? I'm "Hand-Wash Only"!

Ed: Little did Ed, Edd, and Eddy know that deep within the confines of the trailer park, the Kanker Sisters were plotting to foil the brave Eds' attempts with Overradiated Mashed Potatoes! Slowly, one by one, they would devour the tainted spuds!

Ed: Plank smells like fresh cut flowers spewn across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon.

Ed: What an inate, inexplicable, and incompetent journey this has been.

Ed: Hey, look, my horoscope! "New enterprise fails to meet expectations." What's that mean?

Ed: I love chickens Eddy.

Ed: Wait, my brain is working.

Ed: 1-2 got some glue, 3-4 at the store, 5-6 meat really stinks.

Ed: [imitating Eddy] You know what they say, Double-D. If you're thirsty, take a drink.

Ed: Hostility is the calling card of a week intelect.

Ed: (Repeatedly bangs his head on a plot of dirt) I'm a woodpecker... except with dirt.

Ed: He was sawing logs, the little dickens.

Ed: My brain's stuck.

Ed: I know my sensitive side, 'cause it has a rash!

Ed: Eddy, I can't sleep, I keep on thinking, how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?

Ed: (Imitating Eddy) Can it, Double Dweeb!

Ed: That looks like the heads of the monsters from " I was a Teenage Appetizer From the Planet Sushi the Second Coming".

Ed: Gentle as a kitten in a tree.

Ed: Coochie coochie coo!

Ed: Jawbreakers, Double D!

Ed: Tata tata, chickens!

Ed: Double-D almost said a bad word, Eddy!

Ed: Let's bake a pie and hit me with it!

Ed: An apple a day keeps the bus driver away.

Ed: Wait! My brain is working!

Ed: ...And forget about any lovey-dovey stuff!

Ed: Whoa, there it goes... Yep. My brain stopped.

Ed: [holding a pacifier] Suckle?

Ed: It's the phantom of the earwax!!!

Ed: 1,2 tie my shoe, 3,4 close the door, 5,6, get some sticks, 7,8 lay them straight, 9,10, a big fat hen, 11,12...

Ed: Christmas, Eddy!

Ed: Not Sarah! She will tell Mum, and Mum will tell Dad, and he'll say "Not now, dear, I just got home from work!". I am not in my happy place, guys!

Ed: May! May I have your hand in carriage?

Ed (with the jar of termites): Show 'em how it works, Lumpy!

Ed: (Imitating Eddy) I'll do anything for cash, 'cause I'm short.

Ed: Napkin, please.

Ed: (repeatedly opening and closing Eddy's refrigerator door) Hello light, hello light, hello light, hello light.......................

Ed: Slide on the soap.[squeeeeee]Slide on the soap.[squeeeeeeeeeee]Slide on the soap.[Squeeeeeeeeee]Slide on the soap.

Ed: Hey Plank, your mom's calling. (short pause, then Plank pops out of a bush)

Ed: Hug a chicken.....Hug a chicken.....Hug a chicken.....

Ed: You are not alone, my friend. I dream of pipes, too.(Referring to the term pipedream)

Ed: Let's get that custard out of your bellybutton, mister!

Ed: Here's your mustard, Double-D!

Ed: But my belly told me it was bottomless gravy day in the cafeteria, Eddy! Bad belly! Bad belly!

Ed: I have been a good towel rack, Eddy.

Ed (repeatedly slaps Edd's stomach): Pink belly! Pink belly!

Ed (shakes his butt in front of a funhouse mirror): Ha-ha! Big butt, so what?

Ed (finds a scubadiver's helmet): Nice space helmet! (puts it on) Take me to your plumber!

Ed: Location! Location! Location!

Ed: (While blocking door from Kankers)Table for blocking...Chair for blocking...Cup for blocking!

Ed: The school will tell Sarah, and Sarah will tell Mom; and Mom will tell Dad and Dad will just sit there and watch TV!

Ed: A hamburger by any other name would be as cheesy.

Ed: The number you have dialed is no longer in service.

Ed: Cookies and milk!

Ed (pushing a cart of fake "jewelry"): Imported by an armored truck, from the house of European weiners.

Ed: (in another rare burst of intelligence) Spending an extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing.

Ed: Inky dinky stinky you!

Ed: [Trying to fix Jimmy's oven] Wait, my brain is working. (He then grabs the oven and throws it into the wall.)

Ed: (When he sees a jawbreaker Eddy painted on the fence) JAWBREAKER! YUM! YUM! YUM!

Ed: You bet your sweet bippy I did.

Ed: I feel an analysis is in order to determine the vessel's quantity of magnitude and direction.


Ed: A Bar Mitzvah!

Ed: Table for two!

Ed: Who stepped on a duck?

Ed: An elephant never forgets, but I forget what the elephant remembered.

Ed: Love is like an onion my friends, the more you peel away at its layers the more it stinks.

Ed: Oh I know what she'll do and it won't be fresh linen.

Ed: It is not funny Eddy for without the bun a sausage has no home!

Ed: Was that your darkside Double D?

Ed: It's not just a gym bag Double D, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE!

Edd

Edd: (repeated throughout entire series) This is unsanitary!

Edd: Oh my, Look at the soap film on those dishes.

Edd: That was good Eddy.
Eddy: Whatever.

Edd: The Bubonic Plague! I'm the Bubonic Plague!!
Ed: Like on your teeth?
Edd: No not plaque! Plague! Plague!!

Edd: Sitting in front of a television for excessive periods of time can induce a trancelike state-- even rewire a susceptible brain!
Eddy: Brain? What brain?!?!

Edd: Good Lord! Look at all these videotapes!

Edd: I've been entrusted with a task, Eddy, and neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor you, nor Ed shall stop me.

Edd: Yes indeedy! (trips on an apple) WoaAaAah!

Edd(as Ed) : Ha ha ha (he trips) Curse Ed's horrible posture!

Edd : (enthusiastically) This should prove monotonous!

Edd (getting highly dirty): Greetings, microrganisms! Hop aboard!!, Welcome, bacteria!!

Edd (crazily and soiled): "May I use your shower?"

Edd: My paging system seems effective, don't you think, Eddy?
Eddy (mocking Edd): "My paging system seems effective, don't you think, Eddy?" How are we supposed to get any work done with Ed answering your stupid paging system?!

[after building the Golden Gate Bridge out of toothpicks] Edd: Sleepy, sleepy,sleepy

Edd (slowly going mad): Shower, shower, shower! Shower, shower, shower! SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER! SHOWER, SHOWER, SHOWER!

Edd (using reverse psychology on the Kankers): She loves me. She loves me also.

Edd: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Edd:Is it just me, or is Johnny's vocabulary deteriorating?

Eddy

Eddy: Ed, Edd n Eddy's Pesky Problem Fixers! If you got a problem that's pesky, we'll fix her for only one lousy quarter! (...) What do you mean, "you're broke"?! Hey, if you're looking for charity, call Kids Next Door! They're cheap!

Eddy: If ya can't beat 'em...show off!

Eddy: Money!

Eddy:[to Jonny] People like it when you say "why" all the time!

Eddy: This is stupid.

Eddy: "I want free popcorn, I want free popcorn!" What do I look like, some popcorn fairy?!

Eddy: Hey, snail boy! Move it, will ya? I'm not geting any younger.

Eddy: We, the Eds, are about to attempt the most daring feat the world has ever seen!

Eddy:[when the Kanker Sisters start kissing Double-Dee] HEY! He's! Had! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Beat it! [The Kankers leave] Ed: Good one, Eddy! Eddy: Vultures!

Eddy: Look, Ed's a brainless cyclops.

Eddy: Christmas stinks! All I ever get are clothes!

Eddy: (After being thrown off of Edd's jawbreaker detecting sattellite and left to gaze at the stars) Wait up! That's my waffle!

Eddy: (while riding on the frying pan) Runaway frying pan!

Eddy(after Ed dropping an anvil): Ed, you're gonna hurt someone! This ain't a cartoon!

Johnny: Me n' Plank want our money back!
Nazz: My colors are running, Eddy!
Sarah: Gimme my quarter!
Eddy: What do I look like, a bank? No refunds!

Eddy: We at Ed's Surf School, can teach you how to... swim a lot!!

Eddy: What did I tell ya? Jonny will do anything for a handful of granola.

Eddy: Mr. D, does the never-ending forehead have an appointment?

Eddy: Yes its all about raising money for Ed's eyebrow operation. Find it in your hearts to give and help us reach our goal. Without it, Ed's eyebrow could grow all over his body (under his breath to Ed) Body, stupid! Body!

Eddy: Shut up, monobrow!!

Eddy: (After running straight into a fence) Hello! (woozily) Hey, it's a dead end!

Eddy: (Holding 3 quarters) I'm hitting the candy store.

Eddy: (woozily) Hey, if you find any teeth layin' around...they're mine.

Eddy:No joke when it's broke. Don't be blue. Let Ed's quick repair service fix it, and you won't sue!

Eddy:(after failing to fix jimmy's oven with crude techniques involving Ed's stupidity and leaving it there to turn Jimmy's cookies into crisps) Wow, those cookies are getting crispy.

Eddy: Come on, my nose runs faster!!!!

Eddy: Oh no, you don't. I'm the chef here, so I get the spatula.

Eddy: A 3-Headed Rolf....YAWN!

Eddy: (When Ed's Jonny mask falls off) Jonny...you dropped your face...I'll go get you a new one!!

Rolf

Rolf: May shower scum devour your head!

Rolf: A damsel in need requests room service!

Rolf: I suppress my pain of laughter

Rolf (angered): Having fun with my shed, Ed boys!?
Edd: Is all well, Rolf!?
Ed: Wipe your feet please.
Rolf: You have broken the celery stalk on the back of a sea urchin!
Eddy: What'd he say?

Rolf: Has your brain turned to custard like half-priced pastry, Ed boy?

Rolf: Foolish youth! The soil knows all.

Rolf: My father once walked a hundred miles with a mule, two goats, and a shoe on his back.
Sarah: Big deal!

Rolf: (seeing the Eds future) "The yeast has risen, and tells me the future of the couch-creature Ed-boys. The spirit of the rind speaks. Do you hear it?"
Ed: "What does it say?"
Eddy: (sarcastically) "Yes, tell us O Swami!"
Rolf: Ah yes, it says here that your day will begin by... (shows his muscles and a fist) Cleaning my pig pen!!
Rolf: (happy to see the Eds working for him) "Also, your future will hold that you de-louse the chickens, and shake the dew from the tree, and brush the hair on the back of Rolf!"
Edd: (panicking) "Gloves! I need gloves!"
Ed: "Pumpkins sure are bossy."
Eddy: "Shut up, Ed!"

Rolf: No shears for you, Potato-Ed boy.

Rolf: (while being chased by Ed in his monster suit, Rolf pushes Edd out of the way to climb a tree) Out of the way, oaf!
Edd: Overwhelming fear is not an excuse for rudeness, Rolf.

Rolf: Get off Rolf's property, before Rolf gets his beating stick!

Kevin: You throw like a two year old!
Rolf: And two year olds are not even good at stuffing sausages.

Rolf: There are no badges for sneaky wee roaches.
Eddy: What? we're in the hammock, like those guys!

Rolf: Your garden is overgrown, and your cucumbers are soft!

Rolf: Yes, Eddy. What is it? Ring your bell, please.

Rolf: Those Ed-boys are crazy like chickens, except they lay no eggs.

Rolf: Have you roaches been drinking milk from a rusty bucket? You have spoiled a wonderful food product! Such waste is a disgrace to the Urban Rangers... but, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge!

Edd: (imitating Ed) Buttered toast?
Rolf: No butter, raspberries! Squish the fruit, slow-poke Ed-boy! Rolf needs juice for his great thirst.

Rolf: May the flees from your cow inflame your rhubarb!

Rolf: You are not Ed! You have cursed my raspberries to the life of salad dressing, impostor with tiny feet!

Rolf: Anchovy paste? 1952, a fine year. Hail to the anchovies! Rolf respects the stench.

Rolf:: A wooden board saved you from three evil witches and a creepy-crawly? {Runs away} MAMA! The stories that haunt Rolf have come true!

Rolf:: Are you weak in the upper story?!

Rolf: (tired, looking at the moon) The moon resembles half-eaten cheese.

Rolf:: Do not burn the candle at both ends, as it leads to the life of a hairdresser.

Rolf: Never use hot wax to soothe enraged lobsters! Thank you. (runs away) MAMA! HAS THE WATER COME TO A BOIL YET? Jonny: Rolf's weird, huh Plank?

Eddy: Hey, Rolf; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Rolf: Jack? Who is this Jack? I know no Jack.

Rolf: You have an invitation, overdressed Ed boy?
Eddy: (whispering) The crow caws at midnight.
Rolf: And the cat sours the basil. Rolf would love to talk politics, but first he must see your invitation!
Eddy: No problem, stretch. Look! Who's that hairy beast eating all the dip!? (runs off)
Rolf: Nana?

Kevin: Who cares about the stupid key?
Rolf: Toe-jam!

Rolf: Victor's hooves are magic on Rolf's hardened muscles.

Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf!
Kevin: What are you talking about, dude?
Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf, must I spell it? (points upwards) We have guests.

Rolf May your nose fester with the rage of olives.

Rolf (to Johnny 2x4) You are full of pickles and beets today, eh, Jonny?

Rolf (stops the Eds from fighting over a jawbreaker) Excuse me, Ed Boys, but Rolf must discipline the nanny goats.

Johnny: Look what you did to Plank...HE'S GOT BRAIN DAMAGE!!
Rolf: The wood has a brain?

Rolf: No, Kev-boy! Rolf falls first.

Rolf: I am a weiner!!

Rolf: Hail to the anchovy! Rolf respects the stench!

Rolf: Nana, a bandage for Rolf!!! [cow falls on him]
Rolf: Ugh! Never again will Rolf store house keys in his trouser pockets.

Rolf:Our hero dangles like Victor's milk spouts
Jonny:Victor's got milk spouts?

Rolf:Why is Double-D Ed boy calling the chestnut elves?

Rolf:It's always good to have friends close by... in this... time of toil....

Rolf:The days of reckoning are upon us, half-naked Ed-boys. *turns to the school* It is here that we shall be mercilessly judged.

Rolf:Rolf was the son of a shepherd...Now Rolf is the posterior of a duck!!!

Rolf:Conserve your strength, Kevin, as you will need it for the Ed-Boy thrashing! Rolf can spot shoddy spot-welding from a distance of twenty goats.

Rolf:Synchronised swimming! A favorite in my country; second only to shiny shoes.

Rolf:Hello, Ed-Boys. Would you like to join me for lunch? Eddy:Uh... yeah, right...

Rolf:You shall see the miracle of the stew!

Ed (balancing Rolf's tractor on an egg): Hey, Double-D! Am I good or what?
Rolf (still on tractor): May your nose fester with the rage of olives!

Rolf: (To Jonny) Jonny-the-Wood-Boy; always with this head of yours there is much joking. Rolf respects your cluelessness!

Rolf: (After Ed falls in a hole Rolf has dug) Your village idiot has fallen in Rolf's hole. A celebration, I say!

Jonny

Jonny: What a horrible way to go!!!!

Jonny: I don't get it either, Plank.

Jonny: Plank says you need a breath mint, [Eddy].

Jonny: What are you guys doing in my wall? ...What's that, Plank? Plank says take a hike, or we'll call the cops.
Eddy: Hey, Plank; ever take a tour of a toothpick factory?

Jonny: Nice costumes, guys. What are you supposed to be, Double D? Throw up?

Jonny: Plank says that bumper cars are for chickens, and whoever thought that one up should have their brain laquered! Boy, buddy, that's harsh.

Jonny: I told you bunnies would take over the world, and they have! Lucky we prepared for this day, huh Plank?

Jonny: (Reading a book with Plank) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a... (Turns page and gasps) Oh my!

Jonny: (to Plank) "Your insatiable thrill-seeking is giving me an ulcer, buddy!"

Jonny: Planks says your mouth runs faster than six-month-old cheese, [Eddy].

Jimmy: It's the end of the rainbow, Leprechaun. Hand over that pot of gold!
Jonny: Nope! Off to the fake rainbow! That's all you get for one handful of granola, pal!!
Jimmy: My fantasy...crushed by an imp.

Sarah: Get back here, Jonny!, What's the answer to the first clue!?
Jonny: Beats me! Plank just thought we collect stuff- (takes their scavenger item sheet) Like this paper! (he runs off, and Sarah chases him.)

Jonny: HOMEWRECKERS! LOOK HOW UNHAPPY PLANK IS!!

Jonny: Plank knows people!

Sarah : Jonny, get out of there!
Jonny: Why?
Sarah : 'Cause I said so.
Jonny: Why?
Sarah : 'Cause you're bugging us.
Jonny: Why?
Sarah : 'Cause you're stupid!
Jonny: Why?

Jonny: Plank says on the count of three, flush like you've never flushed before!!!!!

Jonny: Plank photocopied his butt!!! Ha,ha,ha!

Jonny: Wood-hater!

Jonny: (To Rolf after he chipped Plank's "head") Look at what you did to Plank...HE'S GOT BRAIN DAMAGE!!!

Jonny: [from inside a giant Jonny's Head costume] Hey guys, I'm inside my own head. Far out, huh?!

Jonny: Boy, Plank, ever get the feeling you might as well be talking to a piece of wood?

Jonny: [after belly-flopping into the lake from a cliff] Did I make the team, Plank?

Kevin

Kevin: No need to be displeased, I got all your needs at Crazy-Kevs'! Oops, there goes another one, haha...!

Kevin: Where's the other dorks?

Kevin: I'll believe mucky, when I see mucky!

Kevin: Nimrod! Tell you what, dorky: Meet me after you're done, and I'll show you what my boot wants to be when it grows up!

Kevin: Tooth paste, radical!

Ed: (Quack)
Kevin: Suburbs are weird.

Kevin: What's the matter, dork? Can't talk to girls?

(Double D is thrown on stage)
Kevin: Look, Jimmy turned himself into a dork.

Edd: A phone call should come up any time now.
Kevin: Like my lunch!

Kevin: What a die-hard!

Kevin: ..Oh yeah, what two plus two?
Eddy: Hey, hey, hey! Any of that crystal ball stuff'll cost you extra.

Kevin: What's a trailer doing on my...TRAILER?!

(Kevin and Rolf acting out their act)
Kevin: Stupid broom.
Rolf: Hee-Haw (swallows Kevin)
Kevin: Oh, I'm otter bait!

Kevin: I got out early for good behavior!

Kevin: What a freak!

Kevin: (Said through out series) Dork!

Kevin: (to Eddy) I have no idea what you're dorking about.
Eddy Oh, you know what I'm dorking about!

Kevin: This show needs subtitles...

Kevin: Hey look, it's Dork 'n Beans!
Edd: Beans, an edible seed?

Kevin: Hey, Double D! Come 'ere, will ya!
Edd: Have mercy!

Kevin: No really, I'm pounding you, dork!

Kevin: Dorky thought he had a date with Nazz! (laughs)

Kevin: (in the grasp of Double-D riding his bike): Any last words before I pound ya?

Kevin: (seeing Nazz in her underwear) Awesome.

Kevin: Get off my lawn.

Kevin: (after he's tripped Double D's security system revealing Eddy with Double D saying, "Have a nice day.") Oh, you can count on it.

Nazz

Nazz: A SALE!

Nazz: This is stupid!

Nazz: (seeing Rolf riding on his pig's back) Speaking of 'Road-Hogs'!

Nazz: Wow, Victor changed his name to Nazz, just like me!
Rolf: Are you weak in the upper story?!

Nazz Dude, do you have a platform or what?

Nazz: Where do ya get off?!?

Nazz: Kevin!
Kevin: Nazz?
Nazz: According to the Workers Right Act, Subsection E, Paraphrase 4, Eddy is entitled to express formal protest, as to wherefore. Must be totally respected!
(guys stare)
Nazz: Babysitters got to know this stuff!

Nazz: My pores are screaming, guys!

Nazz: I'm Dr. Nazz, Denteress!

Sarah

Sarah: Wow, Nazz, that was rad! Did it hurt?
Nazz: Not when you land softly, Sarah.

Sarah: What?...what are you doing!

Sarah: Guess what, big brother? I'M TELLING MOM!

Sarah: Line ups, and more line ups! What's with all the line ups?!
Nazz: That's what you do in the big city, Sarah.

Sarah: Someone save my idiot brother!!!
Ed: (in 'haunted house'; wringing his own neck) Ag-ag-ahhh!

Sarah: Touch me again, and I'll beat ya to a pulp!!!

Sarah: Ed! I have a ballet lesson and Ed's Jimmy's new playmate!

Jimmy

Jimmy: [after a bag of popcorn is thrown at him] My eyes! This butter substitute is stinging my eyes!
Kevin: Now THAT'S entertainment!

Jimmy: Mold me!

Ed:(lunging toward Jimmy) Prepare to meet your maker!
Jimmy: Antonucci?

Jimmy: Jeepers-creepers!

Jimmy: I love it when we let loose!

Jimmy: Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!!!!

Kevin: Right, Pick then. Truth or Dare!?!
Jimmy: Dare me sucker!
Sarah: That-a-boy, Jimmy!
Kevin: Hmm... I dare ya to... SKIP YOUR TURN!
Jimmy: Darn it.
Kevin: (spins the bottle) What a sap! (laughs)

Jimmy: You mean live life guilt-free? GIVE IT TO ME EDDY!

Jimmy: Little feet do your stuff!

Jimmy: (acts like a bruiser) I AM JIMMY, HEAR ME ROAR!

Kevin: You are SO dead.
Jimmy: Ahhhh! Don't hurt me!(runs away) Kevin: Man, what's his problem?

Jimmy: Sarah's in trouble and needs help from the boy with the snake on his face! SSSSSSSSSS!

Jimmy: Its so brave, I love it!

Jimmy: Happy to see me, the Kankers did their usual task by pounding the heck out of me. As I weezed my proposal about you edds, they agreed and the deal was struck!

Jimmy: You ruined a perfectly good pair of underpants, you big brute!
Edd: Oh, the wedgie!
Ed: Oh yeah, that was funny!

Jimmy: Luck be a lady tonight!

Jimmy: Buttered toast and gravy? People eat this?

[When the Eds are nowhere to be found.] Jimmy: I have a confession to make. I've wished this every birthday. Could it have come true?

[after Edd accidentally hits Sarah in the head with a can of hair spray.]
Jimmy: You attacked Sarah in cold blood!! DON'T HURT ME!!!

Jimmy: I feel queasy.

[after breaking his teeth on a bowling pin disguised as a crepe.]
Jimmy: It was a bowling pin, Sarah!! They tricked me !!!!

Jimmy: Laborers scare me.

[dressed up as a dragon]Jimmy: (to sarah, who is dressed as a knight) Don't hurt me brave knight!!!

[dizzy] Jimmy: Rubber baby buggy bumpers!!!

Jimmy: Sarah, owie!
Sarah: That's Ok. You're used to it, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Hey! This is my property, and you're trespassing! And if you don't leave now...
Ed: BALLOON!

Jimmy: [after Eddy "tied" Jimmy's shoes] I'm getting stretch marks!

Jimmy: [just over his balance's tipping point] Woe is me...

Jimmy: Will the torment never end?

Kankers

All of the Kankers

Kankers: Its our boyfriends!

Lee Kanker

(jumping a chain-rope)
Lee: Jump higher May!
Marie: She's too fat.
May: How 'bout a fat lip!?

Lee: That better be fighting over me I'm hearing in there!

Lee: Shut up May!
(flips May's chair over)

Lee: Real or not, that guy's wearing a uniform!

Eddy: Ed, Double D thinks he's a bird. I hate birds!
(Ed turns around)
Ed: KA-KA...!
Lee: And that's the call of the yellow-bellied boyfriend!

Lee: Well whatd'ya know, if it isn't tweedle dee and tweedle dum. (to Ed and Eddy)

Ed: (holding a measuring cup) Don't make me have to use this!
Lee: What're you going to do, bake us a cake? (Ed slams the cup onto the Kankers heads together)

Lee: Give me that, we're watching informercials! (grabs remote)
(Turns TV on; Eds stare)
Eddy: (nervously; rubs Ed's head on Edd's armpit) Uh, we use new Stench-Away-Deoderant, keeps me dry and fresh!
Lee: That junk wrecked my clothes.

Marie Kanker

Marie: Is this guy for real?
Marie: Dreamy!

May Kanker

May: Speak to me lambchop, are you hurt?
(Edd recovers from fall)
Edd: Your gaze alone would heal any wound.
May: You're so adorable, I could just eat you up!
Edd: Bon apètit, turtle dove, for I am basted and ready to serve!
(Kankers tanning)
May: Marie, flip me over, I'm getting crispy.
(Marie ignores)
May: (louder) Marie, flip me over I'm getting crispy!
(Marie still ignores, Lee irratated)
May: (Yells) MARIE!!
Lee: Shut up May!
(flips May's chair over)
May: Lambchop!
Edd: Turtledove!
May: Baby Angel!
May: It's the Eds!!!
May: He's my little pooky bear.
Ed: NOT POOKY BEAR, I AM ED!
May: [May cries and talks cryingly to Double D] Ed hates me!!

Songs

Their show

Friends are there to Help You

This song was used in the episode "If it Smells like an Ed". Originally the title was to be "What the world needs, is love, sweet love", but the title was changed for unknown reasons, into a small chorus.

Jimmy: When you stub your toe and it hurts you know, friends are there to help you. When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced, friends are there to help you.
Other kids: When you're flying low and you're giving a show, friends are there to help you. When you take off your shoe and your feet stink PEE-YEW, friends are there to help you.

by Filmtecknarna

The Incredible Shrinking Day

Especially commissioned for Cartoon Network by Swedish film company Filmtecknarna, this mini movie tells the story of how evil Sarah's shrinking potion & dolls house of terror wreaks havoc upon the unfortunate Eds' day. 'The Incredible shrinking Day' ran on CN late 2002 / early 2003. Also named "I'm Not Comin' In"

Sun's up, I hit the floor
Shoes tied, I'm out the door
Is this a clean shirt?
I think it was one yesterday


Free day, I'm on the phone
No plans, I got the cell on
I call my boys up
Spend a little time outside today


Never liked for you to hear where I gotta be
Never liked being told who I gotta see
I like no commitment growing up around me


I'm not coming in anymore
Everything I want and need is just outside this door
I'm not coming in anymore
I've got too many friends on the outside
That don't include you


Go ahead and think all you might
All my friends and I ain't on the inside
All kinds of facts and probabilities


You say we're meant for all the seasons
You scream with endless possiblities


Spend a lot of time trying to convince me
My friends are two strikes against me
Well I swing for the fences
So that must make strike three
That's fine by me


I'm not coming in anymore
Everything I want and need is just outside this door
I'm not coming in anymore
I've got too many friends on the outside
That don't include you


Nothing ever seems right
Like it does when I start
Playing it in right speed, kick in at the right spot
I like things familiar
And I don't belong here
Don't belong here


I'm not coming in anymore
Everything I want and need is just outside this door
I'm not coming in anymore
I've got too many friends on the outside
The plan's on the outside
It don't include you


Not coming in
Not coming in
Not getting back no more
No more

My Best Friend Plank

Especially commissioned for Cartoon Network by Swedish film company Filmtecknarna, this Plank mini-movie which aired on Cartoon Network over the summer and Autumn of 2002 really took the show's fans by storm as it portrayed the wooden wonder in all sorts of dreamlike and idyllic situations to the backdrop of a poignant tune.

I'm never bored when I'm with you.
We're pals, we're buddies through and through.
I wish I knew what to buy you
For your birthday.


Our friendship goes against the grain.
I've seen you swell up in the rain.
I saw you - didn't see your pain,
Was it termites?


It's never hard to talk to you,
Though you stump me with your silence.
I feel so naughty pining here
For your happy face's guidance.


My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.
My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.


Sitting there so silently,
What could you be thinking?
You're not saying "I want ax."
Is that sealant that you're drinking?


Man, you're hammered! Nailed you, pal!
Al Gore's wife's name is "Tipper."
I knew that we'd be best friends for life
When I saved you from that chipper.


My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.
My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.


Ooo, Plank, count the rings, count the rings.
Ooo, Plank, count the rings, count the rings.


I'd walk you on the seven seas
But sawdust always makes me wheeze.
I met your mom and dad the trees
But please don't get Dutch elm disease!


My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.
My best friend Plank, my best friend Plank.
You're my best friend, Plank!

Voice Cast

star: Matt Hill voice of Ed (guest star: Matt Hill voice of Cool Ed in 1 episode: Over Your Ed): Samuel Vincent voice of Edd (Double D): Tony Sampson voice of Eddy: Peter Kelamis voice of Rolf: Kathleen Barr voice of Marie/Kevin: Keenan Christenson voice of Jimmy: Buck voice of Johnny (seasons 1-3) and David Paul Grove voice of Johnny (seasons 4 & 5): Tabitha St. Germain voice of Nazz (season 1): Erin Fitzgerald voice of May (seasons 1-5)/Nazz (seasons 2-5): Janyce Jaud voice of Sarah/Lee

Creator & Guest Star

Danny Antonucci voice of Mr. Sun (The Eds are Coming!) Although credited as Lupo D. Butcher, a nod to Lupo the Butcher.