Love is a conflict between reflexes and reflections.Mangnu Hirschfield
- People lose their senses at the beach 'cause the sun beats down too hard. They say things that just don't gel, you know. Well, you've heard this a lot: "Pick up a shell - oh, you can hear the ocean!" You could pick up a bicycle and hear the ocean - you're at the beach. Put the shell down, you'll hear the ocean twice as loud.
- Reported in Cader Books, That's Really Funny!: Over 1,000 More Great Jokes from Today's Hottest Comedians (2000), p. 164.
- You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
- (Quoting her mom) "You know, you could eat off her floor." Big deal, you can eat off my floor too, there's a million things down there.