Eminem

From Quotes
Go out and buy yourself a five-cent pencil and a ten-cent notebook and begin to write down some million-dollar ideas for yourself.
Bob Grinde
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Marshall Bruce Mathers III (born 17 October 1972) more widely known by his stage names Eminem and Slim Shady is an Academy Award-winning and Grammy-winning American rapper.

Albums

Infinite (1996)

  • "My pen and paper causes a chain reaction, to get your brain relaxing"
    • "Infinite" (Track 1)

The Slim Shady LP (1999)

  • Don't do drugs.
    • "Public Service Announcement" (Track 1)
  • My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight, but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate.
  • There's a place called heaven and a place called hell, a place called prison and a place called jail, and da-da's probably on his way to all of them except one.
    • "'97 Bonnie & Clyde" (Track 7)
  • You beef with me, I'm gonna even the score equally - take you on Jerry Springer, and beat your ass legally.
  • So if I said I never did drugs, that would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the president does."
  • Smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink. Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal!
  • My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
  • Mother... are you there... I love you... I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel.
  • I'm in the fourth row, signing autographs at your show.
    • "Cum On Everybody" (Track 13)
  • I just remembered that I'm absent minded... wait, I mean I lost my mind, I can't find it.
    • "Cum On Everybody" (Track 13)
  • Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit, cause they think that I'm a motherfucking Beastie Boy.
    • "Cum On Everybody" (Track 13)
  • I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer, cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
  • Extortion, snortin, supportin abortion, pathological liar, blowin shit out of proportion, the looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic, impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict, half animal, half man, dumpin your dead body inside of a fuckin trash can, with more holes than an Afghan
  • My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall), I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
  • They threw me out the Ramada Inn, I said it wasn't me, I got a twin. "Oh my god it's you, not again!"
    • "As The World Turns" (Track 17)
  • Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick - Dan dan dan dan dan dan, go go Gadget dick!
    • "As The World Turns" (Track 17)
  • I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful. I like birds, bees, I like people. I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful. Like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in pre-school!
    • "I'm Shady" (Track 18)
  • I try to keep it positive and play it cool, shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school.
    • "I'm Shady" (Track 18)
  • I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it, six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit.
    • "I'm Shady" (Track 18)
  • Remember me? I'm the one who burned your house down, well I'm out now. And this time I'm coming back to blow your house up, and I ain't gonna leave you with a window to jump out of.
    • "Bad Meets Evil" (Track 19)
  • I can't change the way I am ... but if I offended you, good. Cause I still don't give a fuck.
    • "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (Track 20)
  • Fuck a needle, here's a sword, body pierce with this.
    • "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (Track 20)
  • I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin this rhyme, cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightning this time.
    • "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (Track 20)
  • I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you, and cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue.
    • "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (Track 20)
  • I don't rap to get the women, fuck bitches. Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes.
    • "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (Track 20)

The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)

  • Sue me.
    • "Public Service Announcement 2000" (Track 1)
  • But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I say that shit just clownin' dog, c'mon, how fucked up is you?
  • I put lives at risk when I drive like this, I put wives at risk with a knife like this!
    • "Who Knew" (Track 5)
  • Oh, you want me to watch my mouth, how? Take my fuckin' eyeballs out and turn 'em around?
    • "Who Knew" (Track 5)
  • My life's like kinda what my wife's like - fucked up, after I beat her fuckin' ass every night, Ike.
    • "Who Knew (Track 5)
  • I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I? Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-why?
    • "Who Knew" (Track 5)
  • I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up. You want me to fix up lyrics while the president gets his dick sucked?
    • "Who Knew" (Track 5)
  • How many retards'll listen to me and run up in the school shootin' when they're pissed at the teacher? Her? Him? Is it you? Is it them?" "Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
    • "Who Knew" (Track 5)
  • It seems like the media immediately points the finger at me, so I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck.
  • And Dr. Dre said ... nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
  • Yeah, I've probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose, but no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms.
  • Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade. They got the Discovery channel, don't they?
  • If we can hump dead animals and antelopes, then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope.
  • Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us, fuck it let's all stand up.
  • You better get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help, what good is it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
    • "I'm Back" (Track 10)
  • You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down, here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now.
    • "I'm Back" (Track 10)
  • We don't do drive-bys, we park in front of houses and shoot, and when the police come, we fuckin' shoot it out with them too!
    • "Amityville" (Track 14)
  • I light a candle and place it up on the mantle, grab a knife by the blade and stab you with the fuckin' handle!
    • "Under The Influence" (Track 17)
  • A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions. A lot of people think that what I say on records, or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life, or that I believe in it, or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that I'm actually gonna do it, or that I believe in it... well, shit, if you believe that, then I'll kill you.
    • "Criminal" (Track 18)
  • So as I got older and I got a lot taller, my dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger.
    • "Criminal" (Track 18)
  • If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts, tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck.
    • "Criminal" (Track 18)

Devil's Night [with D12] (2001)

  • Whoops I did it again didn't I, my shit's harder to figure out than what Britney's tit size is.
    • "Ain't Nuttin' But Music" (Track 6)

The Eminem Show (2002)

  • I'm just playin' America. You know I love you.
    • "White America" (Track 2)
  • They make it all up, there's no such thing, like a female with good looks who cooks and cleans.
  • Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me, well guess what...I am dead; dead to you as can be.
  • Not takin' nothin' from no one, give 'em hell long as I'm breathin'. Kickin' ass in the mornin' and takin' names in the evenin', leave 'em with the taste of sour and vinegar in their mouth...see they can trigger me; but they can never figure me out!
  • I maybe made some mistakes, but I'm only human...but I'm man enough to face 'em today.
  • And Haley's gettin' so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful. But you'll never see her; she won't even be at your funeral.
  • Yeah buddy, laugh it's funny, I have the money to have you killed by somebody who has nothing.
    • "Square Dance" (Track 5)
  • Jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating, when I'm rockin' the table while he's operating!
  • And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie, You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me, you don't know me, you're too old, let go, it's over, nobody listens to techno!
    • Without Me (Track 10)
  • Music can alter moods and talk to you, but can it load a gun up for you and cock it too?
  • It's all political! If my music is literal and I'm a criminal, how the fuck can I raise a little girl? I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to.
  • I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off, all this time me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off!
    • "My Dad's Gone Crazy" (Track 19)
  • It's like my mother always told me, 'Rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine and goddammit you little motherfucker, if you ain't got nothin' nice to say then don't say nothin'!' ...Uh, fuck that shit bitch, eat a motherfuckin' dick, chew on a prick and lick a million motherfuckin' cocks per second! I'd rather put out a motherfuckin' gospel record!
    • "My Dad's Gone Crazy" (Track 19)
  • My song can make you cry, take you by surprise. At the same time, can make your dry your eyes with the same rhyme. See what you're seeing is a genius at work, which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first. 'Cause when I speak its tongue and cheek. I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue. I'd slice my gums; get struck by fuckin' lighting twice at once and die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son, and walk around the rest of my life spit on and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung, like R. Kelly as soon as 'Bump And Grind' comes on.
    • "My Dad's Gone Crazy" (Track 19)
  • More pain inside of my brain in the eyes of a little girl inside of a plane -- aimed at the world trade. Standing on Ronnie's grave. Screamin' at the sky, the clouds gather it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade.
    • "My Dad's Gone Crazy" (Track 19)
  • I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither.
    • "My Dad's Gone Crazy" (Track 19)

Encore (2004)

  • Rebel with a rebel yell, raise hell we gonna let em know. Stomp, push, shove, mush, fuck Bush, until they bring our troops home.
  • Let the president answer a higher anarchy. Strap him with an Ak-47, let him go, fight his own war. Let him impress daddy that way. No more blood for oil, we got our own battles to fight on our own soil.
  • Now in the Bible it says, thou shalt not watch two lesbians in bed have homosexual sex ... unless of course you were given the consent to join in, and then of course it's intercourse and it's bisexual sex, which isn't as bad, long as you show some remorse for your actions either before, during or after performing the act that which is normally referred to as such more commonly known phrases that are more used by today's kids in a more derogatory way ... but who's to say? What's fair to say, and what not to say? Let's ask Dr. Dre.
    • "Rain Man" (Track 10)
  • And I don't even gotta make no goddamn sense, I just did a whole song and I didn't say shit!
    • "Rain Man" (Track 10)

External links

Wikipedia
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