Fat Albert

From Quotes
It is useless to send armies against ideas.
George Brandes
Jump to: navigation, search

Fat Albert is a 2004 film starring Bill Cosby, Kyla Pratt, and Kenan Thompson.

Fat Albert

  • (repeated line) Hey, hey, hey!
  • I'm Fat Albert.
  • I don't have problems. I solve problems.
  • I can't take my sweater off...because I, uh, don't know what's underneath.

Doris

  • (to Fat Albert and the Gang) Okay, other people can see you, too. That's good. I think.
  • This cannot be happening. I'm losing my mind. Yeah, that's it.
  • (repeated line) I do not have a problem.
  • I don't have friends because I don't want friends.
  • Okay, Daddy and I are gonna have to have a long talk. I don't know how, but I'm gonna tell him that we need a gate. Some kind of guard or screen to put over the television set so nobody can get out. Okay.

Reggie

  • There's no way I'm letting that fat kid get over on Lauri.
  • You haven't seen the last of me, fat man! Fat, fat, fat, fat!
  • Arthur! Learn the handshake!
  • Listen up, everybody! This fat fool is not what he appears to be!
  • Aren't you the hip-hop fool.

Weird Hal

  • (repeated line) Mush Mouth says (then clarifies whatever was spoken)

Dumb Donald

  • [repeated line]: (hits or scratches head) I am so confused!
  • I have no face.
  • I have a face? I do? I do!
  • I'm a party animal!

Bill

  • (repeated line) Guys, guys!

Bucky

  • (repeated line) I know you don't know. I wasn't talkin' to you!

Rudy

  • Guys, I see...cheerleaders.
  • You're like school on Saturday: no class.

Lauri

  • Those guys, Albert's friends...they're very strange. I think they could be some kind of a cult.
  • Doris, no one came out of our television set.
  • Doris, why are you acting like a loser? You're not a loser.
  • (repeated line) Everytime someone tells me they care about me, they wind up leaving me.

Others

  • Arthur: Yo! Nobody makes a fool out of Reggie except for Reggie.
  • Store Clerk: I know big, and you my friend are big.
  • Danielle: He better not be doing this again!

Dialogue

Old Man: You go out there and you'll poke your eye out!
Russell: Why do adults always say you'll poke your eye out?



Fat Albert: (concerned) That girl has a problem.
Doris: What problem?
Fat Albert: You must have a problem, you were cryin'.
Doris: Problem...right...Um,um, uh, I was crying because I lost my, um (looks around for something, spots backpack) my backpack!
Rudy: (pointing at backpack) Is that it?
Doris: (feigning surprise) Oh! You found my backpack!



Doris: (turns around and sees the Gang) Aah! Don't you guys make noise when you enter a room.
Fat Albert: Well, I never thought about that. We-we just enter. (shrugs shoulders)
Doris: Okay, here are your drinks. (places sodas on table, each takes can)
Rudy: Do you have a can opener?
Doris: The can opener's on the can.
(Albert pops top)
Gang: Ooh...
(Rudy pops top)
Gang: Aah...
(Each member begins to pop top rhythmically. They begin humming the Fat Albert Theme.)
Gang: (singing) Na, na ,na. Gonna have a good time (Fat Albert: Hey, hey hey!). Na, na, na. Gonna have a good time.
Doris: Stop! Stop! Hello? What are you doing?
Bill: Singin'.
Doris: I know you're singing, but aren't you gonna drink?
Fat Albert: Not unless somebody writes that we're thirsty.
Doris: Okay, forget the drinks.



Bucky: What do we do now?
Dumb Donald: I don't know.
Bucky: I know you don't know. I wasn't talking to you.
Dumb Donald: I wasn't talking to you!
Bucky: Then who were you talking to?
Dumb Donald: I thought I was talking to her! (points to Doris)
Bill: Guys, guys!

Doris: Ooh! Cody, can I ask you a question? Do you see anyone?
Cody: I see you.
Doris: Anyone else?
(Fat Albert and Gang waves)
Cody: I see a bunch of bizarre-looking freaks.

Guy in Class: What's that on your head?
Dumb Donald: It's my hat.
Guy in Class: Why don't you take it off?
Dumb Donald: I have no face.
Guy in Class: Right. (grabs backpack and moves)

(Doris comes down the stairs dressed for the party.)
Rudy: Wow.
Bill: Doris, you look great.
Dumb Donald: You look tight.
Fat Albert: What'd you just say?
Dumb Donald: I learned it at the mall.
Fat Albert: Oh. Well, don't talk that way about Doris.
Doris: You-you really think I look okay?
Rudy: When you walk into the party, people are gonna notice.
Doris: Yeah?
Gang: (dazed) Yeah...

Store Clerk: That'll be $10,428.22.
Fat Albert: Uh, I-I don't have any money.
Store Clerk : Why didn't you tell me that?
Fat Albert: You didn't ask.

(Trying to convince Doris to go to the party.)
Fat Albert: You want us to go back in the T.V., don't ya?
Doris: Are you threatening me?
Fat Albert: Is it working?

(The Gang is looking at a poster of their T.V. series. It reads: "FAT ALBERT and the Cosby Kids OWN THE COMPLETE COLLECTION ON DVD")
Bill: See. That's who we are.
Rudy: Yeah. And we're coming out on "divda."

(Lauri and Fat Albert are dancing together)
Reggie: I know what Lauri's doin'. She's just dancing with him to make me jealous.
Arthur: (agreeing) Yeah.
Reggie: Yeah.
Arthur: Yeah?
Reggie: (angrily) Yeah!

Reggie: You wanna race me, beefy boy?
Rudy: You don't wanna race Fat Albert.
Reggie: "Fat Albert?" (he and Arthur laughs)
Dumb Donald: Yeah, he's fat, but he's fast.
Mush Mouth: Fabby but fabba.
(Reggie stares at Mush mouth, who then mumbles more)
Reggie: Okay...


Fat Albert: Okay. I'll race you, but I can't take my clothes off.
Reggie: Great. 'Cause nobody wants to see all that blubber anyways.

Mush Mouth: (refering to Lauri) Oh, boy. That be some nice budda-bup.
Weird Hal: You watch your mouth!

Mrs. Forchik: Doris says that you're visiting. Where is it that you live?
Fat Albert: North Philly.
(Class laughs)
Fat Albert: Is that funny?
Mrs. Forchik: Yes. It is. Considering the fact that you're in North Philadelphia and therefore are visiting North Philadelphia from North Philadelphia.
Fat Albert: Hmm...

Weird Hal: Oh, my! I can see his behind.
Bucky: My behind?
Rudy: So that's what one looks like?
Bill: Looks Like it's broken


Doris: Let's go. The show's already started and you guys gotta get your behinds back in the T.V.
Bucky: But no lookin'.
Doris: At what?
Bucky: Never you mind. Just no lookin'.

(Darren shows up wearing the exact same outfit as Rudy.)
Darren: Yeah, I figure with this new hot look, be getting all the girls.
Rudy: I hear you, man. Somethin' I've been living with for years.
Darren: Hey, man, your colors. They're fading. You need to chill with that bleach, man.

Rudy: (to Bill) Okay, say you're a girl and you're on a roller coaster.
Bill: I'm not sayin' I'm a girl on a roller coaster. What's wrong with you, man? Why don't you say you're a girl on a roller coaster by yourself!

Rudy: Can I ask you a question?
Doris: Sure.
Rudy: (sighs) If I didn't have to go back-I mean, if I was a real person, would you-
Doris: Would I what?
Rudy: (hesitates) Would you go out with me?
Doris: (giggles lightly) You mean, like, on a date?
Rudy: Yeah.
Doris: But we are on a date.
Rudy: That's right. Cool.

Bill: Pardon me, miss.
Doris: My name is Doris.
Bill: (pondering) Doris.
Rudy: That's a nice name.
(Gang agrees.)
Dumb Donald: I know a dog named Doris!

Songs

Original Fat Albert Theme:

Hey, hey, hey!

It's Faaat Albert!

And I'm gonna sing a song for you.

And we're gonna show you a thing or two.

We'll have some fun now, me and all the gang.

Learning from each other, while we do our thing.

Singin': Na, na, na. Gonna have a good time.

Hey, hey, hey!

Na, na, na. Gonna have a good time.

Hey, hey, hey!

Na, na, na. Gonna have a good time. Hey, hey, hey!



Fat Albert Party Theme:

(begins same as original theme song):

Fat Albert:

Hey, hey, hey!

It's Faaat Albert!

(record scratches, begins new, hip-hop beat):

D.J.:

Come on, big fella, it's time to share.

Bounce youre big belly up in the air.

Hey Yo!

Fat Albert:

I'm gonna sing a song for you.

And we're gonna show you a thing or two.

(Reggie: Aren't you the hip-hop fool)

We'll have some fun know, me and all the gang.

Learning from each other, while we do our thang.

Cosby Kids:

Hey Yo!

Big Al, he make you fell alright.

Shake your body at the party that we're having tonight.

Hey Yo!

I know you wanna dance with us.

Find a reason to jump around, move your stuff.

Hey Yo!

Ooh, ah, I like your style.

Come on with me let's just break it down.

Na, na, na, na,

Na, na, na, na,

We're gonna have a good time!

Fat Albert:

They call me Fat Albert, that's my name.

And solvin' problems is my game.

Now get jumping if you're feelin' what I'm sayin', no delayin'.

Hey, hey, hey, man!

I'm so happy, so glad.

I wanna hug myself,

Pinch myself,

Look at me, I love myself.

Since fat's where it's at I don't wanna get skinny.

For what? I like the bigger heart that's within me!

Cosby Kids:

Hey Yo!

Big Al, he make you fell alright.

Shake your body at the party that we're having tonight.

Hey Yo!

I know you wanna dance with us.

Find a reason to jump around, move your stuff.

Hey Yo!

Ooh, ah, I like your style.

Come on with me let's just break it down.

Na, na, na, na,

Na, na, na, na,

We're gonna have a good time!

Mush Mouth:

Hey, beba. (Hey, baby.)

I gobe by da name of Mush Mouth. (I go by the name of Mush Mouth.)

I don't know what I'm sayin'.

But I know one thing,

We making mell butta bubba. (Ya, bodies bounce.)

Ba, ba-ba, ba-ba-ba bow butta. (B-b-b-bounce, but, uh)

I so ba jang when I hold my thang. (So, I do my thang)

Oh, but that was just thingamathing. (But that was just shakin' my thang)

Na, na, na, na, na

Cosby Kids:

Na, na, na, na, na

Hey Yo!

Big Al, he make you fell alright.

Shake your body at the party that we're having tonight.

Hey Yo!

I know you wanna dance with us.

Find a reason to jump around, move your stuff. Hey Yo!

Ooh, ah, I like your style.

Come on with me let's just break it down.

Na, na, na, na,

Na, na, na, na,

We're gonna have a good time!


Goin' To the Park:

(the Gang starts beatboxing)

Fat Albert:

Goin' to the park just to have some fun.

Waitin' on 2:30 just for our rerun.

We want to solve problems, just me and my gang.

(beatboxing pauses)

(resumes)

Fat Albert:

Hey, you we doin' our thang!

We doin' our thang, we doin' our thang!

Gang:

To the park! To the park!


Fat Albert Original Theme (Bad Version):

Na, na, na

Gonna have a bad time.

Ha, ha, ha!

Na, na, na

Gonna have a bad time.

Ha, ha, ha!

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: