General Hospital

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In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.
Margaret Anderson
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General Hospital is an American soap opera that has been running since 1963.

Alan Quartermaine

Monica Quartermaine: You know, I used to want to hurt you. I don’t anymore. I guess that’s progress.
Alan: I used to want to kill you. I don’t anymore. I guess I’m mellowing.
Monica Quartermaine: No, not that much.
Alan: I haven’t tried to kill you in 15 years. That’s cause for celebration. Would you like some champagne?

[Alan and Monica bring up each other's past.]
Alan: I never got sued for sexual harassment. I never took an ex lover prisoner, put him in a motel room, and then tortured him.
Monica Quartermaine: No, you dropped a building on one.
Alan: It was only a roof and half of it was intended for you!

Alexis Davis

Ric Lansing: I mean, how long did you think we were going to live separately? Forever?
Alexis: That's one way to make a marriage last.

Alexis: You need to get a job, Carly. You need to take up knitting, you know, run a marathon, volunteer at the kid's school. Just stop obsessing.
Carly Corinthos Jacks: Hey, don't change the subject.
Alexis: You are the subject. You've whittled your life away to just this one little, narrow focus which happens to be your ex-husband. He's already the center of his own universe. Don't make him the center of yours.

Ric Lansing: When was the last time you were at the gym?
Alexis: Why?
Ric Lansing: I just... Ballpark, okay?
Alexis: I... You think I'm fat!
Ric Lansing: Oh, no, don't go there. I'm not going there. No, no, no.
Alexis: You think I'm fat! Out of shape!
Ric Lansing: No, no, I think you're beautiful.
Alexis: For a fat woman!

Alexis: My Uncles tried to freeze the world. Top that.

Brenda Barrett

[Brenda wonders why Jason isn't more worried about their trial.]
Brenda [to Jason] : Have you even thought about what's going to happen to you in prison? You're prettier than I am.

Carly Corinthos Jacks

[Carly needs to talk to Jason, but Sam is there.]
Carly [to Jason Morgan] :Can you tell Sonny's bedwarmer to get out?

Carly [to Jason, regarding Robin] : I can just see her now, dancing on sunbeams, polishing her halo, and badmouthing me.

Carly [to Sonny Corinthos] : We're a perfect match - with a whole lot of kindling.

[Carly taunts Sam, after she catches Sam in bed with Sonny.]
Carly: I wouldn't get all comfy and cozy with Sonny, if I were you. Has be bothered to mention Brenda yet? Because the two of you look enough alike to be sisters. Same height, same build, same dark hair. Although Brenda's was more stylish, but I'm sure Sonny didn't notice that difference in the dark.
Sam McCall: Wow, you are some nasty little bitch.
Carly: No, actually, I'm being pretty nice and I imagine that the resemblance to Brenda was also the hook for Jax.
Sam McCall: Okay, now you're stretching.
Carly: You'll probably have more time with Sonny than you did Jax because Sonny is a practical man. Brenda's gone. So am I. You'll do for now, but don't think that you're in it for the long haul, because you will lose Sonny just the same way you lost out on Jax.
Sam McCall: Oh, yeah? Why is that?
Carly: Because you're not Brenda. No one is. Brenda the illusive ghost she is. She's incandescent. Oh, she unattainable and unforgettable and Sonny and Jax, they have her so high up on a pedestal, you cannot see her until she comes back down and is in your face. And let me tell you something else - she always comes back. Always. So, you may be sharing Sonny's bed right now, but just do yourself a favor and never forget that you are a substitute, and you always will be.

Carly [to Monica Quartermaine] : Where do you get off calling me a tramp? You wrote the book on sleeping around.

Carly [to Robin Scorpio] : Oh, excuse me, honey, but you have the roles so reversed here, ok? Little Miss "take your perfect self off to Paris to punish him" Scorpio. Look, when I want a fur coat, I say, "Hey, Jason, I'd like a fur coat, please." What do you do? What do you do? You go to Paris? You pout? You think that's going to teach him a lesson? When I want Michael and Jason and I to live together, I say so. What do you do? You sneak around behind his back and you try to make some kind of private, little deal with me about how he's going to live his life. Who's the manipulator here, Robin? Huh? I mean, think about it. Who's the one that forced him to leave a job and a life that he loved so you could stick him like a trophy in that Martha Stewart knockoff cottage where he was miserable but finally deserving of you. That's what's going on here. I should know. I had to watch while he fell in love with you, while he gave you his whole soul, and you threw it in his face every time he didn't rise up to your lofty standards.

Carly [to Robin] :You, my friend, are nothing but an icy, emotional bully. But, hey, you know what? What goes around comes around, so you're going to get yours. Yeah, you're feeling like somebody kicked you in the face? It hurts? You looking for somebody to blame? Well, look in the mirror, princess. Then take your sanctimonious little butt back to the European country of your choice and stay the hell out of [Jason's] life.

Carly [to Robin] : Why don't you go huff and puff and blow somebody else's house down, honey, because Jason, Michael, and I are strong. We are solid, we are family.

Carly [to Emily Quartermaine] :You know what? You're gonna learn all by yourself, just like the rest of us lowlifes that operate so far beneath your little Quartermaine radar that we don't even register. Happy landing, baby girl.

Sonny Corinthos: The ocean's beautiful today.
Carly: Only if you drown in it.

[Jason and Carly take a boat out to look for Sonny, but Carly is drunk.]
Carly [to Jason Morgan] : You know what? You are hhhhot. You are. And you are so much nicer than Sonny, and you're patient - and you know what? You're really good in bed. [giggles]
[Jason still trying to put on Carly's lifejacket.]
Jason Morgan: No, no. I need to put this on -
Carly: Do you remember the first time that, that we made love?
Jason Morgan: Carly, let it go. I need to put this on.
Carly: You know what, the first time I saw you without your shirt on, I thought I was gonna pass out. 'Cause you're hot, you looked so good -
Jason Morgan: Listen, listen to me keep that on. [Carly continues to fidget with the lifejacket] Stop it.
[Later on....]
Carly: You know what you remind me of? You remind me of one of those Roman statues. Not the ones with the - hmmm, maybe you do. You remind me of one of those naked ones with the bulging mus-
Jason Morgan: Carly! Stop. It.
Carly: Rippling...What? Can you just not admit that sex with me was the best you ever had?
Jason Morgan: Can you just shut up and drink your coffee? Okay?
Carly: Okaaay. Just joking, playing with you a little bit...

Damian Spinelli

See here.

Edward Quartermaine

Edward [to Monica Quartermaine] : Subtlety is for strangers. You're his wife. If you have to, use a sledgehammer.

Edward [to Sonny Corinthos] : You sound, and I know this is unlikely, like a man who has read too much Dickens.

Edward [regarding Jasper Jacks] : Reginald, why don't you show this man from the Outback, back out?

Elizabeth Spencer

[Elizabeth temporarily loses her vision after a car accident, Ric comes to visit her.]
Elizabeth: Ric?
Ric Lansing: Can - Can you see me?
Elizabeth: Uh, no.
Ric Lansing: Well, then how did you know it was me?
Elizabeth: Who else would deliberately stand in the path of a blind person?

Faith Rosco

Faith: Oh - Oh, I am so sick of this male double standard! If you're a strong woman, you know, they call you a psychopath. But every single available man in town has lost it. They're completely obsessed with a good little girl like Courtney Cottontail or Little Elizabeth Webber.

Jason Morgan

Jason: Sometimes things happen fast, but you live through it slow.

[Brenda begins freaking out on the plane.]
Brenda Barrett: I mean, there's no air in here. Do you remember what happened last time we flew together? We crashed.
Jason: That was wind shear. It was different.
[Brenda finally begins to calm down.]
Pilot: We're making our final approach to the Dominican Republic.
Brenda Barrett: Thank god.
Jason: Hey. Do you know most wind shear crashes happen on landing?

Jason: When -- when Sonny's wife Lily died, it was over in a second. But Sonny struggled with it for years. And Sam’s baby -- it died the day she was supposed to be born. I mean, Sam never even got to hold her. You know, the pain is less now, but it hasn't gone away, and Sam will see a woman who has a child that -- that would be Sam’s daughter's age, and the pain comes right back. And then when Sam was shot, the shooting -- it happened in an instant. And I struggle with it every day.

Jasper Jacks

Jax [to Helena] : Since money is the root of all evil, I imagine it's especially precious to you.

Jerry Jacks

[Jerry wants Sam to seduce Trevor Lansing to get information.]
Sam McCall [disgusted] : Ric's father?
Jerry: Oh come on, you went for the apple, you might as well go for the tree.

Refers to Sam as "Sweet Sam" .

Lucky Spencer

Lucky: We'll never be normal; that's what makes us superior.

Lucky [to Elizabeth] :You know, everything about you's the best, the best there is.

Lucky [to Elizabeth] :Subtlety only goes so far. For example, subtlety is, "I like your sweater" when what you really mean is "I love your mouth."

Luke Spencer

Alexis: How come every time I see you, you're always telling someone you're right?
Luke: White. I said white. [Bobbie] asked me why I'm a lousy dancer, and I said, "You know I'm white".

Alexis: Next time you get the urge to visit, do call first.
Luke: And what? Miss the opportunity of being slapped around by a beautiful woman?
Alexis: As delightful as chatting with the enemy may be, is there a point to your being here?
Luke: Your animal magnetism.
Alexis: Keep fiddling with the focus. I'll wave to you from the front stoop. How's that?
Luke: That'd be great. A hand is kind of a small target though. Could you moon me?

[Luke describes Stefan.]
Luke: He's as transparent as a bulletproof windshield.

Luke: I'm not paranoid, I just think everyone's after me.

Luke: Blame is for children and politicians.

Luke: Sometimes we get to choose the burdens we bare.

Luke: Courage is being terrified. Facing your terror and going on.

Luke: It may have absolutely zippity to do with do da.

Lulu Spencer

  • Yes, I have, but why can't I just put it behind me? Why do I keep thinking about it? Asking these questions that don't have any answers? I mean, why do I get defensive and judgmental with total strangers and melt down in front of people that I barely know? Why can't I just let it go and move on?
  • The peanut butter to jelly ratio has to be at least fifty-fifty!

Monica Quartermaine

Monica [to Rae] : I'm rich! I don't have to be kind.

Monica [to Alan] : Well, whenever you are as thoughtful as this, it usually means you're having an affair

Nikolas Cassidine and Emily Quartermaine

Emily: You’re inside of me Nikolas. Awake, asleep, no matter who I’m with or what I do a part of me is with you.
Nikolas: So this is it.
Emily: What?
Nikolas: Love. What it means, what it feels like. I never knew until now. Everything else was just a stab in the dark -- that other people talk about, but I never experienced, but this is it. To know you like I do, for you to know me the same way. And finally know that I’m not alone anymore. What? What is it? What’s wrong?

  • Nikolas: They say you can’t miss what you never had. But I don’t really believe that that’s true. I missed love my whole life until I had it with you. I feel that it would’ve been worse if I’d had love and then lost it. No matter how bad I want you right now, I want a future with you a whole lot more.
  • Emily: Can’t tonight be the beginning of our future?
  • Nikolas: Yes.

Scott Baldwin

Scott [to Lucky] : I see a lot of your mother in you. And if you were clutching a botttle of booze, I'd see a lot of your father.

Skye Chandler Quartermaine

Skye [To Sonny] : Oh, Sonny. I'm sorry, I didn't see you down there. I'm wearing heels today.

[Luke and Skye hide out from the police.]
Luke: Oh, Blaze, please be reasonable. You're a convicted felon. I'm wanted for unlawful flight and God knows what else. We got to lay low, and the only way to lay low in Port Charles is to be homeless.
Skye: Since I have known you, I have been trapped in a burning building, stalked, kidnapped, and left to die in Wyndemere. I woke up next to a dead man, been convicted of murder, and spent time in a state penitentiary! But I will not have cockroaches crawling on me! That is where I draw the line!
Luke: They won't, no more. I promise you. Trust me. I'll just fumigate the cardboard condo and you can get back to your beauty sleep.
Skye: I don't think you're quite hearing me. You see, I would rather turn myself in and be lethally injected for a crime I didn't commit than spend one more minute as a homeless person! Now, either you find us a nicer, cleaner disguise or you're on your own.

Skye [Referring to Jason and Sonny.] : I'm just waiting for them to move to Vermont and open up a Bed and Breakfast.

Sonny Corinthos

Sonny': Do you wanna settle for a spark...or do you wanna set the world on fire?

[Bernie thinks that there is something going on between Sonny and his lawyer, Diane.]
Sonny [calling Diane into the room] : Diane!
Diane: You bellowed?
Sonny: Diane, have I ever hit on you?
Diane [appalled] : God no!
Sonny: Would you like me to?
Diane: Huh?

Sonny: Wasting time is like laughing in God's face

Sonny: Here.
Kate: What's this?
Sonny: Iced tea. I didn't think wine would be appropriate for a woman in your position.
Kate: What's my position?
Sonny: Half-naked in my living room.

Kate: My lifestyle editor just named meditation ponds the number one must have in landscaping this year!
Sonny [saracastically] : Wow! Where do I get one?

Steve Hardy

Steve: You know, if you were 8 instead of 18, I'd say what's the matter, Angie? Cat got your tongue?

w:Tracy Quartermaine

Skye: Well, well. I thought I was the family bitch.
Tracy [smugly] : Not even close.

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