Gimme Gimme Gimme

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Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness is taken out.
Nick Richardson
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Gimme Gimme Gimme (1999-2001)

Series 1

Who's That Boy? [1.1]

The Big Break [1.2]

Legs and Co. [1.3]

Do They Take Sugar? [1.4]

Saturday Night Diva [1.5]

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do [1.6]

Millennium special: 1999


Series 2

Teacher's Pet [2.1]

Stiff [2.2]

Prison Visitor [2.3]

Dirty 30 [2.4]

Glad to be Gay? [2.5]

Sofa Man [2.6]

Comic Relief special: 2001

Comic Relief

Series 3

Down and Out [3.1]

Lollipop Man [3.2]

Secrets and Flies [3.3]

Trauma [3.4]

Singing in the Drain [3.5]

Decoy [3.6]

Unidentified episode

Linda - You may only judge a shithole by the turds that pass through it.

Tom - I like the men in my life to be strong, not to be so far back in the closet they're in FUCKING NARNIA!!!.

Linda - I ain't phobic about 'Homos', I just can't stand the sight of them.

Tom - Oh, Huge great dangly scrotum sacks!

Tom - Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday sexy bastard!

Tom - No you stupid Yak!

Linda - If you're gay, then why are you marrying a woman you Wanker?

Tom - Wincy Willis, Wincy Willis! Who the bloody hell is Wincy Willis?

Linda - Oi! On yer bike, I'm not a Dyke!

Linda - There once was a filthy Bitch called Snow white who was shagging these seven dwarves.....

Tom - Linda, I've just got a part on one of Britain's top rated soaps...
Linda - No Tom, It's Crossroads.

Tom - You can always come and visit me you know.
Linda - No, I get lost on trains unless I got a label....

Linda - There's no such thing as Bi-Sexual; It's just greediness.

Tom - (In a Cockney accent) I'm a good girl I am!

Tom - Help me I'm down a hole ~ So far away from home ~ At the end of the tunnel I see a light ~ I'M SOMEONE'S DINNER TONIGHT!

Linda - I've got a famous botty I have. Whenever I walk down the street people say "Your arse is massive!".

Linda - Bitch! I do not look like Elizabeth the First!!!

Shirley - Oh yeah...That's really funny! Excuse me while I piss myself!

Linda - Si! That's an unusual name innit! Bit like Gasp....

Linda - He's bi-jobial ain't he? He's a bit of both...

Tom - If I smoke that, I'll imagine great big Mars bars chasing me down the street!

Tom - With you by my side (Cockney accent) "She don't scare me no more!"

Linda - He's got an arse like two eggs in an 'anky.

Beryll - Is he a ventriloquist, Linda?
Linda - Dunno.. But I wouldn't mind 'im sticking his hand up my skirt and making my lips move.. Y'a know what I mean?

Linda - (Ajusting the front of her underwear) Uh.. Got something in my eye!

Suze - Did you miss me?
Linda - Like a cat with no neck misses licking its own arsehole..
Suze - Is that a.. Yes?

Tom - Umm.. Suze.. Why is your mouth black?
Suze - Oh don't worry yourself Tommy baby.. I've been eating coal.

Tom - Can we do some of those footie ball songs, Jez?
Suze - Ooo can I do one!
Linda - No!
Suze - Oh please its really good!
Linda - Ah shut up you overgrown streak o' piss!
Suze - (Singing) Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? (Pointing to linda, shouting) YOU FAT BASTARD, YOU FAT BASTARD WHO ATE ALL THE PIES!? ..Oh, Linda.. It's just so appropriate (Giggles)

Linda - Oh shes like a young Annette Newman.. "We wash this many dishes in ordinary liquid.. AND THIS MANY IN FAIRY LIQUID!!!".


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