On the last analysis, then, love is life. Love never faileth and life never faileth so long as there is love.Henry Drummond
- Gerry: "I'm not going to camp with a bunch of fat loads!"
- Lars: "I'm feeling skinny, Tony!"
- Tony: "Good morning, Campers. Today is evaulation day. The key word here is value. Do you have any? Not yet. But by the time camp is over, you will all be a bunch of skinny winners."
- Lars: "DON'T PEE IN THE WAHTER.Hey! Don't drink the wahter, he peed in it!"
- Bushnick: "Never let anybody sign your checks!"
- Tony: "Come here you devil log!"
- Tony: "Kids: at age twelve, I weighed 319 pounds. I had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self respect. Now, I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk. Pounds are gonna fly, and fat is..... outta here, mister! And we're gonna do it TOGETHER!"
- Josh: "Oh, my, god."
(Tony runs down aisle high-fiving unwilling kids)
- Kid: "I wanna go home!"
- Lars: "Please put your fat finger DOWN!"
- Lars: "You've broken my camera!"
- Tony: "All you need is Mother Earth, Father Sky, and your dear old Uncle Tony."
- Tony: "Congratulations, you've just joined the 76% of Americans who forget to stretch before doing any physical activity."
- Tony: "Step on the scale!"
- Josh: "Alrighty."
- Tony: "Step off the scale."
- Roy: "Lars? What kind of name is that? Where you from?"
- Lars: "... Far away."
- Roy: [gulps heavily]
- Tony: "Attention Campers; Lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle.Deal with it."
- Lars: [over speakers] "Now, its time to meet your new owner and operator. Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. His life is dedicated to saying things like "YES!" and "You better believe it!" Entrepenuer, a motivator, and a new friend! May I introduce, TONY PERKIS!"
- Maury: "I did NOT send you to 'Go-Kart' camp!"