Homestar Runner

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Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.
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Homestar Runner is a popular internet Flash series.

Homestar Runner

  • "Yes, Strong bad, I ate Luigi. He tasted like mushrooms."
  • "What in Pete Sampras is going on here?!?"
  • "So kids, the moral of the story is 'Strong Sad doing Tai Chi is really, really funny'."
  • "Fugugrass."
  • Singing to the tune of The Neverending Story: "The blood is rushing to my head. Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out..." and also "Neverending so-oda. Ah Ah Aaah Ah Ah Aaah Ah Ah Aaah..."
  • "Seriously."
  • "Can you take out the cow lamp to make more room in here? I mean seriously, they're not real cows anyway."
  • (To a wagon filled with pancakes)"A wagon fulla pamcakes? In the champeenship?! I'd like to see it try!"
  • "This does NOT look good for Homestar Runner."
  • ' (reading Strong Bad's e-mails) "Dear Strong Bad, what is your favourite leg? Jess and Tiff. (typing) Hey, Crapface! Why don'tcha go blow it out your ear! (sweetly) Your buddy, Strong Bad."
  • "Whoa, PomPom! Tone down the language before the big game!"
  • "Hey, Strong Bad, check out my Strong Sad impression. (with Strong Sad's voice) I handed them all over to Twelve-Times-A-Day-Man!"
  • "Hey, Strong Sad. You gonna eat all them Twizzlers? (he pronounces "Twizzlers" as "Tweezlérs")"
  • "Making out with Marzipan is totally awesome!"
  • "Do you has what it takes to serve the Homestarmy? Will you bring me a sack lunch and some orange slices and serve your country? Will you, stupid?!"
  • "(after failing to pronounce "powder" right) I've got twouble with my aw's!"
  • "I hate that fweaking mawshmawwow."
  • "Hey, Stwong Bad, wook what I can do. Ahem. Toons! Games! Hee-hee-mail!" (a boat sails by, a whale with harpoon wounds and a plane with a banner saying "WEAR A BIKINI!" appear in that order)

Strong Bad

  • "Holy crap!"
  • (to The Cheat) "We had that lightswitch installed so you can turn the lights on and off... NOT so you could throw lightswitch raves!"
  • (Sung) "I said come on fhqwhgads, come on fhqwhgads! Everybody to the limit, everybody to the limit, everybody come on fhqwhgads!"
  • (to The Cheat)"Man, is there anything potatoes can't do?"
  • "Lemme cut to the chase."
  • (Sung) "You never seen anything, quite like these buttons! Come on, y'all, give me a little scroll lovin'!"
  • (Chuckles) "I'm charming."
  • "You gotta be kiddin' me! I'm the only one who wears any pants!?"
  • "(on the news channel) Today's forecast is total crap!"
  • "(singing) Holy, holy, holy, holy, holy crap! (ding)"
  • "Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!"
  • "I thought I knew what ridiculous was, until this day."
  • "With Marzipan's radish, we gonna win the competition!"
  • "The system is down, yo."
  • "Somebody get this freaking duck away from me!"
  • "And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!"
  • "(singing) Population... tiiiiire..."
  • "(reading an e-mail) Dear Strong Bad, I have recently been wondering about the origin of The Stick. Has it always been a good place for hanging out and making Luke, Eau Claire, WI (he pronounces the last bit as "Eww, Claire! Why!?")
  • "(reading his e-mail) "I love you. fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf..." Look, fhqwhgadshg... can I just call you "Fhqwhgads?"
  • "DELETED!"
  • "It's like Squeedly VS Meedly over here. Go, Squeedly!"
  • (as a parody of his old self) "When it comes to the ladies, I have no COMPETITION!!! (quietly) Holy crap."
  • "Mr. Bland and Señor-Havin'-A-Little-Trouble were by far the most popular characters...until they were crushed by a falling Bubs' Concession Stand."
  • "Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! So and So! What's Her Face! The Ugly One!"
  • "El Deleto Grandé!"
  • "For the last time, I'm not the Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck. I'M CARMEN FREAKIN' SANDIEGO!"

Coach Z

  • "Doot-doo-doot-doo, an' I'll drink up all the Hennessy ya got on your shelf, but first let me introduce myself. My name is Coach Z. Pronounced with an "oach Z.""
  • "I think I'm gonna puke my pants!"
  • "You say tomater, I zader matermorts."
  • (as a baby) "I'm gonna be craptin of the fortball torm."
  • "I guess I forgot to port!"
  • "I guess I forgot to prat!"
  • "Gorka fa Pork!"
  • "Great jorb, Ramrod!"
  • "Once again, I place the blame squarely on tight pants."
  • "Great jorb Homestar!"
  • (after Strong Bad questions whether he's green or if he wears footy pajamas) "Oh, I've got footies all right--airthlete's footies.
  • "Bruce Jenner's tube socks!!"
  • "You was tryin' ta jenk me!"
  • "The King's gone mad with power! He's gonna eat The Chort!"
  • "Jaerb... !"


  • "Shinin' up a chicken in the mo'nin', mo'nin'."
  • "Hey, Coach! Tell her I said, 'Hey!' No, no, just--Tell her I said, 'Bananas!' Tell her I said, 'A bluh-buncha bananas.'"
  • "Grabbing your butt? That's not very lady-like."
  • As the Thnikkaman: "Yeah, shut up, kid."
  • "If I had thumbs, I'd be sticking' 'em up my armpits right now!"
  • "Come back, chocolates! I didn't mean what I said!"
  • "Hey there, every peoples!"
  • "Coach Zee, are you accusing yourself of being the Thnikkaman?"
  • "There was this one time when I hooked my lawnmower up to my Nintendo. And after that, I got the high score every time!"
  • "Discount will noe be honoured!"

The King of Town

  • "Hello, my loyal subjects. I am the King of Town. Please remain standing while I finish my speech and consume the contents of this bowl. Now, despite rumors to the contrary, I did not just buy a crown at the costume palace and ask people to start calling me the King of Town. I earned my title the same way I earned a free combo meal: by purchasing one of equal or lesser value. I also did not ever try to eat my own moustache. I live in yon castle, and employ a Poopsmith for reasons I don't care to disclose. And furthermore, now I'm going to eat this bowl of corn dog batter."
  • "This stuff is strong enough for a man, but tasty enough for a king!"
  • "Mmm! This is some good cake!"
  • "(referring to his very own, quite popular cartoon show) For reals this time!"
  • "Oh yeah. [My sheep] were delicious."
  • "MMMMMmmmmm! A stick of butter!!"
  • "Honor. Valor. Buttor."


  • "Alms for the pudgy? Alms for the pudgy?"
  • "AAAaaaAAh'm the human wedgie!"
  • "I was raised by a cup of coffee."
  • "Let's sing a song of Pennzoil!"
  • "Carmel corn for president please."
  • "Don't look now... I'm just a friendly reminder."
  • "I'm Homsar, the captain of the gravy train."
  • (as a perfect replica of strong sad) "I'm crying on the inside."
  • (reffering to the letter G)"I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate."
  • "Oh no! I think this is my favorite!"
  • "You're a real state trooper."
  • "AaaAAAaaaAHH!! I'm a song from the sixties!"
  • "AaAaAh'm cryin' on the inside..."
  • "Aaah, these easter pants are gettin' way too tight.
  • "OoOooh No!You shanked my jengaship!
  • "Hey Tubbs! I lost my jaengajam!
  • "AaAaAaAaA! Don't count on it, monster may-an!"
  • "Kelllllseyyyy Grammmmmerrrrr!"
  • "AaAaAa! I'm the original lady's man."
  • "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Hi, Wonder Mike! I'm Homsar! The captain of the gravy train."
  • "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Think I won the powerball."
  • (to Strong Bad) "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Hey Reggie! Is that rhinoceros around?"
  • "It's time for tasteball!"
  • "My name's Millions, and I'm the son of a chipwhich!
  • "Legitimate business!"
  • "Well hello, chocolate cake!"
  • "Uhdyeah, what eez it, Sturong Baayud?"
  • "Step right up--I'm a crudely-drawn cupcake!"
  • "Don't forget your tapesicle!"
  • "Ah'm the ghost of Christmas pay-ust."

Other characters

  • Vector Strong Bad: "YOUR HEAD A SPLODE"
  • The Ugly One: "Ow! My skin!"
  • Compy 386: "You killed the Bad Graphics Ghost. Now Strong Sad will sing you a scary song."
  • Marshie:Boggey bogged boo!I'll scare you dad!
  • Senor Cardgage: Dump tell no Mandy--it's just a landmower moved bankways!
  • Powered by The Cheat Strong Sad: I'm saaaad that I'm flying.
  • 1-Up: (walks in wearing a gross old wig) Stinkoman, look at this gross old wig I found in a time box!
  • Powered by The Cheat Bubs: Hey, Strong Bad. You just jumped over some of my buses.
  • Senor Cardgage: Oh... I should eat a pony...
  • Marshie: I'M AN ABOMINATION!!! And I'm comin' to your house after school...
  • Crack Stuntman: Blaaargh! What can I get for you fine gentlemen?
  • What's Her Face: When you fall into a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.
  • Old-Timey Strong Bad: And for my next parlour trick, I shan't make anything appear! (Present Strong Bad appears out of nowhere)
  • Stinkoman: Correct me if I am wrong, but are you asking for a CHALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGE!!!!!?!??


[The Cheat and Marzipan are on a date]
Strong Bad: [Impersonating an Italian chef] Oh-a, it's a me-a, the chef-a! A-which-a one o' you guys ordered the smack in the face-a?
Marzipan: I thought this was a French restaurant.
Strong Bad: [Drops accent] Oh. Ummmmmmmm... uh... S-snails?
Marzipan: Come on, T.C., let's blow this marshmallow stand.
Strong Bad: Yeah, you know, I didn't really research this role...

Strong Bad: At this point, the test subject... was dead.
Strong Sad: I was not dead!
Strong Bad: Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion... Strong Sad's adopted.
Strong Sad: That's not true either!

[Homestar is prompted to give a Reagan impression]
Homestar: Well... well... Nancy and I... economics... well... rap music... jellybeans... well... we probably had a pet...
Bubs: That's the worst Ronald Reagan impression I've ever heard!
Homestar: Ronald Reagan? I was doing my Keanu Reagan!

[Coach Z and Bubs have swapped heads at the hands of Strong Bad.]
Zubs(Bubs' head): You better find him quick! This crap ain't funny!
Coach B(Coach Z's head): I'd be hard pressed to do anything quick in this train wreck. What've ya, been eatin' concrete?
Zubs: Least I don't have no clown feet. I can hardly walk in these things!

Homestar: Welcome to
Cherry Greg: It's dot com.
Homestar: Oh, right. "It's dot com!"

[Strong Bad's computer explodes, flinging him through a wall into Strong Sad's room and through one of Strong Sad's posters]
Strong Sad: Oh, geez! Are you okay?
Strong Bad: Wha- yeah- no, I'm fine! Nothing happened, I'm fine!
Strong Sad: Did your terrible computer explode?
Strong Bad: No, shut up! Look, I'm gonna need to borrow, like, $900.
Strong Sad: Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for like $15.
Strong Bad: I said shut up! I liked that computer.
Strong Sad: I hope some of that money's for buying me a new poster. You don't seem too broken up about that.

[Strong Sad is high on caffeine and is somehow suspended from the ceiling]
Strong Mad: GET DOWN!
Strong Sad: No!
Strong Mad: GET DOWN!!
Strong Sad: No, no... parakeet.
Strong Mad: [surprised; very distinctly] Did you just say, "parakeet"?

Homsar: Daaah! You shanked my Jaengaship!
Strong Sad: I shanked your Jengaship? We're playing Connect Four.

Strong Sad: Uh, okay Homestar. Then what's two plus two?
Homestar Runner: Well, {speaking quickly} the force between any two charges is equal to the absolute value of the multiple of the charges— {cut to a closeup; computer-type noises begin playing in the background} —divided by 4 pi times the vacuum permittivity times the distance squared between the two charges.
Strong Sad: No, no, no, stupid! That's Coulomb's law.
Homestar Runner: Oh, right, sorry! Two plus two? That's easy. Twenty-two.

[Strong Bad wants to interview Homestar Runner]
Strong Bad: What the crap were you doing out there?
Homestar Runner: Out where?
Strong Bad: Outside! I watched prance by about five times man.
Homestar Runner: Oh, I doubt it, I drove.
Strong Bad: You don't own a car.
Homestar Runner: Yeah, you're probably right.
Strong Bad: Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.
Homestar Runner: Oh I didn't bring any, I drove.
Strong Bad: Oh, this is going to be painful.
Homestar Runner: The tacks? I bet, try not to sit on them.

{Strong Bad is commenting at Pom Pom, who is dress up as Walter Sobchak}
Strong Bad: So, what, Pom Pom? You're every guy at a truck stop?
Homestar Runner: Uh oh, Strong Bad.
{Pom Pom produces a gun.}
Homestar Runner You're entering a world of pain.

[Strong Bad is writing a fan fiction about the King of Town]
Strong Bad: [imitating the King of Town] "I can't believe I ate that entire pile of whatsit!" said the King of Town.
King of Town: Oh... I wish that were fiction...

Announcer: (singing. As he says this, an emblem shaped like the King of Town appears on screen) The King of Town's Very Own! Quite Popular Cartoon Show! The King! Of Town's Very Own! Quite Popular Cartoon Show!
King of Town: Let the king have some!
Announcer: (quickly) The King Of Town's Very Popular Cartoon Show will not be seen this week. Instead, we bring you Strong Bad's Very Popular Cartoon Show, already in progress.
[cut to Strong Bad on the Lappy, reading an e-mail]
Strong Bad: --rong Bad...

[Homestar Runner and PomPom are in the field}
Homestar Runner: Oh, man. My pants got so poofed away at the prom this year. So I was wearing all these types of long pants, and then they all just got poofed away. So embarrassing. [PomPom makes annoyed bubbling noises] Well, maybe I will keep telling myself that!

Gunhaver: Put your pants back on, Blue Laser!

(Coach Z is holding a pear covered with eyeballs, as black coffee streams down his mouthless face. Homestar appears and talks in an imitation of backwards speech. Subtitles accompany his dialogue)
Homestar Runner: Coach Zee, if you're not going to eat that eyeball pear... (clears throat. His voice returns to normal, and the subtitles disappear) Then I suggest you give it to someone who will.
Coach Z: I don't know what's going on, Homestar... (sniff) but I'm not at liberty to discuss what I just did in my pants!

Strong Bad: (to Homsar) Get out of my house!"
Homsar (sadly) I do as I'm told...

Stinkoman: Hey, guys! How's challenges?
Vector Strong Bad: WHAT IS IT, MY DOGE?
Strong Bad: Whoa, you two know each other?
Stinkoman: Oh, totally sure! He's my training simulator!

Senor Cardgage: Let the little children know...

Strong Sad: There needs to be a better word for "weird".
Strong Mad: (chasing The Cheat, who has stolen his underwear) MY PANTIES! MY PANTIES!

Cheerleader: (wearing an elephant mask) So good, or no good?
So and So and The Ugly One: No good!
Chearleader: Well, I think it's hella tight. And you need boyfriends.

Dinosaur: (kicks What's-Her-Face away) Punt!
What's Her Face: Dag, yo.

Strong Sad: (enters the room) Strong Bad, what's going on? (a virus has disconnected his head from his body and turned it into an emoticon)
Strong Bad: Waah! I don't know, you forgot to wear your neck!?

Strong Bad: (reading an e-mail) "Strong Bad, My sister and me think you are so cool. Do you have a girlfriend? There is two of us. Yours, Ali." (quietly) Oh, there's two of them! (typing, speaking suavely) Well, Ali, there's one of me--
Tandy 400: DELETED!!!
Strong Bad: (still speaking suavely) Deleted--DELETED!? WHAT!?

Strong Bad: (reading an e-mail) "Hi, Strong Bad! If you hate Homsar so much, why don't you kill him? From Vinnie C." You know what, Vinnie? You're right. I'll be right back. (he walks out into The Field and sees Homsar) Hey, Homsar!
Homsar: (turns around) Uhdyeah, what eez it, Sturong Bad? (out of nowhere, Strong Bad drops a weight on him)
Strong Bad: Ah, thanks Vinnie! That felt so much better.

Crack Stuntman: (stuck inside a box) Anyone? ...Chimendez? Guy who does the bad guy's voice?
Crack Stuntman: Uh... never mind.

Strong Bad: What am I supposed to do with all these leftover marshmallows? I bought, like, over 400 pounds!
King of Town: Excuse me, but did I just hear you say "leftovers"?

Singers: Polymascotfoamalate!
The Homestar Runner: Feed it to the babies.
Singers: Polymascotfoamalate!
Old-Timey Strong Bad: Or as a topping on soured cream!

Stinkoman: What is that! WHAT IS THAT!? Some kind of robot!?
The Homestar Runner: What is a robe-it?
Stinkoman: You don't know what a robot is? HAHAHAHA! YOU ARE SO DUMB! HAHAHA! Dumb!
The Homestar Runner: Oh, go soak your fat head.
Stinkoman: ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLEEEEEENGE!!!? (powers up)
The Homestar Runner: Yessir, yessir I am.

Strong Bad: My computer's been Lappynapped!
Marshie: (appears out of nowhere) Hello, Kenneth!! Here me roooar! Grr... meow.

Larry: Congratulations Strong Bad on your 100th e-mail! (silence) WE'RE FROM THE BAND LIMOZEEN!!
Perry: Uh, I think it says that at the top of the screen.

Strong Bad: (singing) Join me on MY single--
Strong Sad: Hundred--
Strong Bad: Toilet dreams picture... everybody wanna scam some sweet bucks or potential
Little Strong Bad: Pizza!
Strong Bad: Oh! Oh! Um, nevermind. Umm... double--
Coach Zee: --Pants.

Homestar Runner: Hey, Stinkoman...
Strong Bad: D-did you just call me Stinkoman?

Intercom: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.
Tompkins: Aww, peas!
Cheerleader: Did you hear that?
What's Her Face: Pizza belongs in a triangle!

Homestar Runner: I have come to the concwusion that the king's sheep wewe not eaten by a dwagon.
King of Town: Phew...
Homestar Runner: But they wewe eaten!
King of Town: Oh, no! Who could have done such a thing?
Homestar Runner: Why don't you ask youwsewf, king?
King of Town: Oh, yeah. They were delicious.

King of Town: (dressed as Hagar the Horrible) Trick or treat! I'm horrible!
Strong Bad: You've got that right!

The Homestar Runner: Guess what I read in the news-papper today?
Old-Timey Marzipan: I. Can't. Guess.
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost.
Old-Timey Marzipan: You read that a ghost what?
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost is.
Old-Timey Marzipan: You read that a ghost is what?
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost is in town and they're offering a 27-cent ree-ward for it.

Strong Sad: That's it! We're ready!
Strong Bad: All right! ...Well, where are they?
Strong Sad: Where are who?
Strong Bad: Well, I thought this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled up bikini wrestlers.
Homestar Runner: I thought it would natuwawwy attwact oiwed-up Biww Cosbies!

Powered by The Cheat Homestar: Hey, Strong Bad. I need you to kick me in the face.
PBTC Strong Bad: I CAN DO IT. I WILL DO IT NINE TIMES. (kicks Homestar in the face nine times)
PBTC Homestar: This is the--
PBTC Strong Bad: Shut it up. Shut it up, you. (The Cheat walks by) Here, The Cheat. Have a trophy.
PBTC Homestar: Here, have another trophy. (Strong Bad kicks him)
PBTC Strong Bad: I was saving that one for about two seconds ago.
PBTC Homestar: Perfect. Timing.
PBTC Coach Zee: (falls from the sky) Here, The Chort. Have a chorphy.
All: Three trophies for The Chort/The Cheat.
PBTC Eh! Steve!: Eh. Steve.

External links

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