I Love Lucy

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It first appeared like a crazy idea. It turned out he had a great idea.
J. Richard Munro
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I Love Lucy is one of the most popular, classic American sitcoms from the 1950s, starring comedienne Lucille Ball, her husband Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance and William Frawley.

Lucy Ricardo

  • Eeeewwwww.
  • [after getting caught in an embarrassing situation] Well...
  • [a large woman has just sat on Lucy] Madam, it doesn't seem to be getting through to you, but this seat is taken.
  • [in a argument with the Mertzes, and Ricky just said "We'll see who's gonna sue who!"]Yeah, we'll sue who's gonna see...
  • [after Rickey begins new project at the Tropicana] "splain"..why can't I be in the show?

Ricky Ricardo

  • Lucy, I'm home!

[after learning about the latest trouble Lucy has gotten into]

  • Ai-yai-yai-yai-yai!
  • Lucy, you've got some 'splainin' to do!
  • Lucy, what do you have to say for yourself?
  • And as I recall, it was till death do us part. That event is about to take place right now!!
  • Mira que tiene cosa la mujer esta... (Look what this woman has done...okokok

Ethel Mertz

  • Oh honestly, Lucy...
  • Hey Lucy, the chickens are talking about Fred..they're saying 'cheep, cheep, cheep'...
  • Don't forget to drop a postcard to Mr. and Mrs. Fred Horninsky or as we are more commonly known, the "Tagalong Mertzes".
  • [to Ricky after he's fallen overboard from a boat] Are you wet?
  • [to Lucy after she gets her head stuck in a trophy] Oh, this could only happen to you!
  • [cries uncontrollably after finding out that Ricky bought the house in Connecticut that Lucy wanted so much] Oh, Lucy, I know you're not going to move, but if you ever do move, don't move!

Season One

The Girls Want To Go To The Nightclub [1.1]

Ethel: Sing something.
Ricky: I couldn't.
Lucy: Let's neck.
Ricky: Wait a minute, I'll sing.

[Lucy and Ethel can't find dates.]

Ethel: We can always call the zoo and order a couple of dancing bears.

Fred: Yeah with all that champagne, even Ethel might look good.

Lucy: We must know two men who are single and attractive. [Lucy and Ethel pause to think] Two men who are single. [pause] Two men. [pause] A boy and a dog.
Ethel: Maybe we should settle for Little Boy Blue and Peter Cottontail.

Lucy: Ethel and I are going dancing at the Copa.
Ricky: I hope one of you knows how to lead.

Ethel: I think a tuxedo is the best looking thing a man can wear.
Fred: Unless he's wearing boxing trunks.

Ricky: Everybody knows you can get around a lady with a little sweet talk.
Fred: That's alright for Lucy, but it's a little longer trip around Ethel.

[Fred talking to Ricky about his anniversary]

Fred: I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an eighteen year-old tragedy.

Lucy [to Ethel about her marriage] Ever since we said "I do," there are so many things we don't.

[Lucy and Ethel are washing dishes]

Ethel: Here, you missed something on this one.
Lucy: That's the design.
Ethel: It is?
Lucy: Sure, can't you see. Flowers against a background of (scratches plate with nail) gravy.

Be A Pal [1.2]

Ricky: That's the reason I married you - because you're so different than anyone I've known in Cuba.
Lucy: Who'd you know in Cuba?

[Lucy joins Ricky's poker game]

Lucy [looks at cards]: My, this is a problem.
Ricky: Honey, please, you're holding up the game.
Lucy: Well, I can't decide whether to throw away my two queens or my three kings.

Ethel [explaining poker to Lucy]: It's a lot like hearts, only you bet, and there isn't any old maid.

Ethel [reading from 'Dr. Spoc's' book]: If he hunts, take up hunting. If he fishes, take up fishing. If he golfs, take up golfing.
Lucy: Ricky plays poker. I'll have to take up poking.

The Séance [1.7]

Lucy: Mr. Maryweather, I'd like to present Madame Ethel Mertzola. She's going to be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic!

Ethel: I shall now contact Tilly! [in a monotone voice] Ethel to Tilly, Ethel to Tilly. Come in, Tilly. Over.

[Lucy accidentally sneezes]
Mr. Maryweather: Tilly! Tilly, is that you?
Lucy: Yes, it's me Tilly.
Mr. Maryweather: But Tilly, that sneeze. Are you sick?
Lucy: Sick? I'm dead!
Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's right.

[Lucy gets too close to the fireplace]
Lucy: Ow!
Mr. Maryweather: What's the matter?
Lucy: I burned myself. It's awfully hot here.
Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's where you are! Oh Tilly, I'm so disappointed in you.

Ethel: My trance is wearing off, I think you better hang up now.

Lucy: Ethel, you underestimate your transmitter!


  • Lucy: Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpopular?
  • Lucy [later, after getting drunk from drinking a potent "health" tonic]: Well, I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl! Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you un-poopular? Well, are you?

  • Lucy [whenever Ricky stages a new show]: Can I be in the show?
  • Ricky: No!

  • Betty Ramsey: I've loved parties ever since I was a little girl, how about you, Ethel?
  • Ethel: I haven't been to a party since I was a little girl.

  • Lucy: Well, now, wait a minute, Ethel, look. You get yourself a little black, off-the-shoulder blouse, and a big crushy belt, and little ballet slippers, and you're all set!
  • Ethel: What for, Halloween?

  • Lucy: I have an idea!
  • Ethel: How can you stand there in the middle of this mess and utter those four horrible words: "I've got an idea?"

  • Lucy: I saw them last month in Harper's Bazaar.
  • Ethel: Well they're certainly bizarre!

  • Lucy: Once you get to know Ethel, you'll find she's more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
  • Ethel: Monkeys that seldom get invited out of their barrels, that is.

  • Lucy: We're in the egg business together, so half of those eggs belong to Ethel. Isn't that right dear?
  • Ethel: Yes, the shells.

  • Lucy: It's my mad money.
  • Ricky: There's over $200 here.
  • Lucy: Well, I get awfully mad.

  • Ethel [referring to Ava Gardner in a restaurant]: She's just people Fred, remember? Just like you and me.
  • Fred: She may be people Ethel, but she's not like you and me.

  • Lucy: You were just up here and said it sounded great.
  • Ethel: Well, I'm down here now and it sounds lousy!

  • Ethel [referring to hamburgers]: At least we put meat in ours.
  • Lucy: And just what are you insinuating we put in ours?
  • Ethel: I'm not saying, but you can bet on it in the afternoon and eat it at night!

  • Fred: Possession is over nine-tenths of the law!
  • Lucy: Yeah, and I'm possessed!

  • Lucy: "Butter? What do you want butter for?
  • Ricky: I wanted to put some on my bread.
  • Lucy: Butter? On bread? I'll never get used to your crazy Cuban dishes.

  • Ricky [reading to Ethel from a script Lucy wrote]: Is there something wrong with your lover?
  • Lucy: LIVER!
  • Ethel [later on, to Ricky]: I think you go out to meet your liver.
  • Lucy: LOVER!

  • Ricky: What do you know about rice?
  • Fred: Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life.

  • Ricky: "How do spell "s'perience"?
  • Lucy: E-x-p...
  • Ricky: E-x? You're kidding?

  • Ethel: Fred, I got a confession to make. Remember when we got married and I said I was 18. I lied. I was 19.
  • Fred: Well I got a confession to make too. You were 24.

  • Employment agent: What did you have in mind?
  • Lucy: What kind of jobs do you have open?
  • Agent: Well what do you do?
  • Lucy: What kind of jobs do you have open?
  • Agent: Well what do you do?
  • Lucy: What kind of jobs do you have open?
  • Agent: You go first this time.
  • Lucy': Alright, what do you do?
  • Agent: What kind of jobs do you have... Oh. Cut it out.

  • George Reeves, noted for playing Superman on television [after being repeatedly harassed by Lucy]: How long have you been married?
  • Ricky: 15 years.
  • George: And they call me Superman!

  • Lucy's doctor from Jamestown: Hello, Mr. Ricardo. I'm the man who brought your wife into the world!
  • Ricky: I don't know whether to thank you or punch you in the nose!

  • (Ethel wants a new lamp.)
  • Fred: What do you need a new lamp for? Abe Lincoln read by candlelight.
  • Ethel: Don't drag your boyhood friends into this, Fred.

  • (Chosing a bet)
  • Fred: What about ten dollers?
  • Ethel: What's the matter with twenty dollers?
  • Ricky: Well what's the matter with thirty dollers?
  • Lucy: Well what's the matter with fifty dollers?
  • Fred: What was the matter with ten dollers?

  • Lucy: Ricky!
  • Ethel: Fred!
  • Lucy: We're revolting!
  • Ricky: No more than usual.

  • [Lucy pulls the emergency brake twice in one day on a train, she then pulls it again]
  • Train conducter: "Thanks to you I've just won five dollars from the engineer."

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