Keeping Up Appearances

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Keeping Up Appearances, British sitcom.

  • Workman: Yes, Mrs. Bucket.
Mrs. Bucket: It's Bouquet.
  • "But I thought your friends liked your lilac car ..."
  • Elizabeth: Well, my watch says 4:30!
Hyacinth: Oh, that watch. Yes, I expect it would ...
  • "I've come to help out with church cleaning for that dishy vicar!"
  • "What a silly little voice!"
  • "Beautiful day, isn't it? Completely conducive to contemplating cozy charismatic country cottages."
  • "The Bouquet residence, lady of the house speaking. (Pause) Oh, it's you Daisy".
  • "It's my sister Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.".
  • "It's my sister Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony."
  • (about the clergyman) "Rings his own bells? How democratic".
  • "My next door neighbour, Elizabeth, you met her at one one of my candle light suppers, she drops things".
  • (after coming out of a garden, surprised) "I thought I heard a Willow Warbler! One of my favourite songbirds".
  • "Oh, Richard!"
  • "But is it a large tear in his flamenco frock?"
  • "I once caught Richard playing with a frisbee, he said he found it, but I wasn't sure."
  • "I'll be up there, looking for icebergs and growing a beard."
  • "I'll have to have the Vicar's confirmation that this is Angel Gabrielle blue."
  • "They are my family and I love them dearly, especially at this time of year, when it gets dark early."
  • "The one thing that distinguishes us from other people is the absence of vulgar noise"
  • "Now listen horse, I'm not a person to be trifled with."
  • "I do apologise, Vicar, I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial facilities, it's bound to be someone important."
  • "I do hope you're not going to spoil things with lower middle class humor"
  • "Oh no dear! I couldn't let you loose as a Roman again!"
  • "Home, Richard! I will not share my throne with these impostors!"
  • (while searching for Iron Age remains) "According to the book, we should find the remains of barrows somewhere around here. I expect they carried rocks and things around!"
  • (Onslow, after Hyacinth is startled into the hedge by his barking dog) "A little less noise you daft bitch! That goes for the dog, too... ha ha ha!"
  • (Onslow, after ascertaining that neither Daisy or Rose have bought him any more beer) "Look at me, sitting here, completely surrounded by no beer!"
  • Its a matter of complete indifference to me whether the milks pasteurized, immunized, sterilized or privatized! I will not share my milk bottles with strangers"
  • Vicars wife after spotting Rose standing beside the road: "Oh damn, it's the vampires sister - turn around!"
  • Hyacinth while talking to the vicar: "What is the missionary position in China these days?"