Kerry O'Keeffe

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A man who cannot make mistakes cannot do anything.
Bernard Magazine
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  • In a game between Sri Lanka and Australia, Dilhara Fernando was called for a no-ball and questioned the umpire. Commentator Tim Lane asked O'Keeffe what the umpire might say in reply. O'Keeffe deadpanned: "I think he might be saying, 'If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando'."
  • After England lost the first Test of the 2006/07 Ashes series in Brisbane, it was put to Kerry that the team suffered from stage fright. He replied: "Nervous? I once went to a nightclub to pick up a supermodel. I wasn't nervous, I just wasn't good enough."
  • During commentating for the 2005 Ashes series in England and observing the two English batsmen play and miss several times, O'Keeffe opined: "there's more nicks here than a Greek wedding."
  • During a test at the Gabba in Brisbane Harsha Bhogle asked the ABC's Kerry O'Keeffe how he could become "more Australian". The reply was "Jeez Harsha. You're a tee-total vegetarian who doesn't bet. Give me something to work with!"
  • Transcript of O'Keeffe and Harsha Bhogle commentating on an India/Australia match:

O'KEEFFE: There's Singh. Yeah, Singh's the most common surname in India, isn't it?

BHOGLE: I think its Shah, actually. Yes, but Singh's very common. They keep saying that Mumbai needs two phone books, one for the Shahs and one for the rest, there's so many Shahs in Mumbai.

O'KEEFFE: Geez, you'd be buggered if you met some sheila at a pub and wrote her name on your hand, "B. Shah" or whatever...

(O'KEEFFE is seized by paroxysms of laughter, there is a short period of silence)

BHOGLE (deadpan): And Kerry O'Keeffe has taken his microphone off, he's laughing that much.

O'KEEFFE: ...going through the phone book, "'s that you, Barbara?"

  • In reference to the bowling action of Stuart Clark, "You can't call him Montigetti Sarfraz, thats like calling somebody with a moustache Hitler."

O'Keeffe to Harsha when discussing Indian names during the second day New Years test in Sydney, 2008: So Laxman's wife is Laxwoman and the kids are called the Laxettes.....followed by laughter

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