Happiness is good health and a bad memory.Ingrid Bergman
- "I've got the WWF running on Diesel Power!"
- "I'm smokin!"
- "When you’re nWo, you’re nWo for life."
- "Big Sexy in the house."
- "The nWo is...Just - too - sweet!"
- "I feel...like the greatest...man...in the world!" (When he made his return from an injury in November 1997. He added an echo to his voice to make it sound like he was talking into a stadium microphone. He was mocking Lou Gherig's retirement speech)
- "Wolfpac in tha house!"
- "The band is gettting back together!" (Said during October-December 1999 about the reformation of the nWo called the nWo 2000. Their colors were black and silver)
- "I'm the shit, I'm telling you!" From WWF WrestleMania XII.
- "Attica, Attica, Attica!" (Chanted by him when he was being arrested multiple times for using the powerbomb when it was banned in WCW Spring 1998)
In Total Nonstop Action Wrestling
- SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!
- (with a female voice while examining his pectorial muscles) They're real!
- "Size - matters!"
- "Of course I'm confident, I'm a seven foot juggernaut!"
- "Now granted, after traveling up and down the road the last ten years with Scott Hall, I've lost a couple of brain cells... my question is, what the hell happened to that sweet little rasslin' show we were doin' every Monday? I mean, where in the hell is the Dog when you need him?"
- I haven't seen a performance like that since mine in '72. Dallas Stadium. 80 man battle royal. Gauntlet. Yeah. 16 ring. Went down, it was me and the Von Erichs, there was 8 of them in the ring. I had the Claw on all 7 of them. (TNA: Director's Cut Of The Paprazzi Video From "iMPACT!")
- "Being overpaid is better than being underpaid"
- "The ooooold body bag. The ooooold BB. The old dead man, dead career, dead-to-dead thing. The ooold trusty corpse in a bag of plastic on canvas with a guy in it symbolizing the death of his career and the humililation that ensues upon it!"
- "Tonight, we pull something out that the wrestling fans haven't seen in...two weeks."
- "That's Osama Bin Sabin! I didn't know he was Al-Qaeda." (After revealing Chris Sabin in a body bag)
- Kevin Nash: I remember being inspired when I had my first chance for the WWF Championship... which it was called back then, the WWF Championship, not WWE... and I went out in front of 29,000 people at Madison Square Garden and defeated him (Bob Backlund) in a record 8 seconds.
Alex Shelley: Does the Garden even hold 29,000 people?
Kevin Nash: Well it did that night.
- Kevin Nash: I need to get in the head of an X-Division star.
Alex Shelley: Dissect them, huh?
Kevin Nash: I need to know what they do, what they think when they got on the top rope. What they think when they leave the top rope.
Alex Shelley: Hey, Kevin! Look who your talking to here, huh?
Kevin Nash: Exactly.
Alex Shelley: So, what we did is run some tapes from Mexico, from Japan, from Madagascar.
Kevin Nash: Madagascar?
Alex Shelley: That's right. Alright, Kevin, here we are in Mexico City. Now notice, watch him go up, there you go, thats right. He's going into the Spaceman Torisho Arm drag right there. You see the beauty? The form? How he arched his back? That's right, as he does a 360. What?! -- over the top rope! Kevin, come on, take these notes.
Kevin Nash: What is that?
Johnny Devine: Double Reverse Ninja Kick.
Kevin Nash: With an atomic arm drop. Where is this? I've never seen a two-sided ring before.
Alex Shelley: You're damn right you haven't! Because this is Madagascar. Japan, Mexico they got nothing on Madagascar, oh man.
Kevin Nash: But...are they sitting on the floor?
Johnny Devine: This guys --
Alex Shelley: That's right, because chairs are a luxary over there.
Kevin Nash: Doesn't look like there's that many people there. How many people are at this thing?
Alex Shelley: Three hundred, give or take.
Kevin Nash: Three hundred?
Alex Shelley: Best wrestlers in the world I tell ya, right here. Best wrestlers in the world. Yeah, write up, Kevin. You know what I'm going to do for you, Kevin? You know those two Madagascar wrestlers we were watching? We're going to fly them in business class.
Kevin Nash: Shut the front door!
Alex Shelley: That's right. Business class. Just so you can train with these fellas. Come on, Kevin.
Kevin Nash: I... love you.
Alex Shelley: Next week we'll do it up, huh
Alex Shelley: Hold me!
Kevin Nash: Championship...feel it.
Alex Shelley: Hold me. Not too tight.
Kevin Nash: Okay, Sorry.
- "I drove a golf ball 572 yards. Longest drive ever. I remember one time I was at Augusta, the guys were getting ready for the Masters. Tiger Woods, walking out to hit a bucket of balls. I looked at him and I said, 'Man, that's all you ever do is practice. Practice, practice, practice.' Tiger looked at me and he goes, 'Well if I had your talent, Nash, I wouldn't have to practice so much.'"
- "When you're done with me, you'll be able to buy a house in Boca for cash. I'm talking ocean on one side, intercoastal on the other."
- (mockingly nerdy voice) "Could I get your e-mail address maybe we could e-mail each other? (regular voice) Lemme ask you a question: If I don't want to talk to you, why would I want to hunt and peck and type to you? (mockingly nerdy voice) Oh, LOL, we're laughing out loud!"
- (singing) "Happy Slammiversary, baby! I got you on my..miiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!"
- Kevin Nash: Jay, have you ever actually administered... a lethal injection?
Jay Lethal: Have you ever been to Fire Island?
Kevin Nash: I actually have a summer home there. Thanks for asking.
(Nash raises his pipe to his mouth, seductively.)
- (after Senshi's inkblot test) I showed you all five of these, and every time, you say "warrior." Are you going to tell me for one second that (holding up an inkblot picture) that doesn't, to some degree, look like Jim Hellwig?
- Kevin Nash: As a child, did you ever play, I don't know, doctor?
Sonjay Dutt: A couple of times, you know, here and there.
Kevin Nash: You know, I don't know how you did it, but I know you're dirty, I know you're on steroids! You're a gashead!
Sonjay Dutt: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Kevin Nash: What's this look like?
Sonjay Dutt: What?!
Kevin Nash: Testosterone? What's this look like, huh? The Juice?
Sonjay Dutt: This is an ambush!
Kevin Nash: Barry Bonds? What?! What?! What?!
Sonjay Dutt: I gotta go.
Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash
(Samoa Joe busts into Kevin Nashes dresses room while Nash is holding a bat)
- Samoa Joe: Is that a bat!
*Kevin Nash: Yeah! I'm a business man! I don't fight for free! What? You wanna come back here and do it for free!? No, Man! You wanna go tonight!? You wanna go with Nash!? You go get Cornette to get you a check for one hundred grand and check for me for one hunderd grand! I'll lace up! I'll go with you tonight! I ain't doing it for free! You know why? I ain't gettin' paid! I'm a business man. You got a lot of anger with me! It's about a bank account! I got an "s" class! I got a house on the beach! It's paid for! I got money in the bank! I got everything you want! Come On, Man! You think I screwed you!? You think I screwed you a couple days ago!?
*Samoa Joe: You did screw me!
- Kevin Nash: I didn't screw you! It was a wake up call! You're going around this place like an angry, angry, angry child! It ain't workin! It ain't workin! You need my wisdom man! You need my wisdom! Listen, it ain't gotta be this, man. I'm not that much of an asshole, man! Take a shot! (Nash hands him the baseball bat) Take a shot, I'm walkin.
*Samoa Joe: I should kill your ass, man!
*Kevin Nash: Yeah, but you won't.