Lethal Weapon is a buddy-cop film from 1987 starring Mel Gibson (as Martin Riggs) and Danny Glover (as Roger Murtaugh) who are partners in the LAPD, working together to solve an apparent suicide and end up uncovering a major drug-smuggling operation.
- This is a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!
- I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.
- [holding his wife's wedding photograph, crying, after deciding not to kill himself] I'll see you later. I'll see you much later.
- Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.
- [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.
- Perhaps there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?
- [after rescuing Murtaugh and Rianne] What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here.
- [just after Murtaugh prevents Riggs from shooting himself] You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
- [repeated line in all four movies] I'm too old for this shit.
- I was driving before you were an itch in your daddy's pants!
- General McAlister, time for you to die.
- [aiming his gun at McAlister's oncoming car] No way you live. No way.
- [when Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight] Get that shit off my lawn!
- [last lines] I'm too old for this...
- Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain than you and I will nver know.
- [stealing a woman's car] Mind if I test-drive your Audi?
- Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.
- Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
- Martin Riggs: What?
- Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
- Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
- Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!
- Martin Riggs: Terrific.
- Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
- Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.
- Martin Riggs: What did he mean back there when he said you owed him?
- Roger Murtaugh: We served together in '65. la Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.
- Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.
- Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
- Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
- Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
- Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
- Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-...
- Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die?!
- Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?!
- Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
- Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet?! HUH!? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it?! This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it?! The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!
- Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?
- Martin Riggs:: Well, I haven't killed you yet.
- Roger Murtaugh: Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier... you saved my life. Thank you.
- Martin Riggs: Oh, I bet that hurt to say.
- Roger Murtaugh: [chuckles] You'll never know.
- Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same Albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker!
- Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.
- Martin Riggs: You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?
- Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
- Martin Riggs: So, if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.
- Roger Murtaugh: I know.
- Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you gotta do is just not miss.
- Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.
- Martin Riggs: We're gonna get bloody on this one, Rog.
- Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy... or are you as good as you say you are?
- Martin Riggs: You're gonna have to trust me.
[Endo shocks Riggs with a device]
- Mr. Joshua: Hit him again. [Endo does]
[Riggs groans as his body shakes violently]
- Mr. Joshua: Hit him again. [Endo hits him again for longer]
- Mr. Joshua: Come on! Tell me about the shipment!
- Martin Riggs: [yells and spouts gibberish, then spits at Endo, tries to reach Joshua] I swear I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you!
- Mr. Joshua: Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now what about the shipment?
- Culprit: [punches Murtaugh in the mouth] The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh.
- Roger Murtaugh: Go spit!
- General Peter McAllister: Kill the son of a bitch!
- Martin Riggs: Who's fucking next!? McAllister!
- Martin Riggs: How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?
- Mr. Joshua: Don't mind if I do.
- Martin Riggs: [real tough] I want your title.
- Mr. Joshua: [smirks] Okay.
- Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs!
- Martin Riggs: Yo.
- Roger Murtaugh: If you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy.
- Martin Riggs: Well, I got news for you, Rog... I'm not crazy.
- Roger Murtaugh: I know.
- Martin Riggs: Well, good. Let's eat.
- Martin Riggs: Hey, you know what?
- Roger Murtaugh: What?
- Martin Riggs: Well, I think your daughter kinda likes me.
- Roger Murtaugh: If you touch her, I'll kill you.
- Martin Riggs: Ha! You'll try.
- If these two can learn to stand each other... the bad guys don't have a chance.
- Two cops. Glover carries a weapon. Gibson is one. He's the only L.A. cop registered as a LETHAL WEAPON.