Life of Brian
Life of Brian (1979) (aka Monty Python's Life of Brian) is a satirical film by the Monty Python comedy troupe about a man who is born at the same time as (and next door to) Jesus, and whose life parallels his.
- What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
- But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
- Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
- Mandy: Now, you listen here: 'e's not the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!
- Mr. Frisbee III: Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
- [The audience members at the back of the crowd are having trouble hearing the Sermon on the Mount.]
- Man: I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers"!
- Gregory's wife: What's so special about the cheesemakers?
- Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
- Brian: I'm not the Messiah!
- Arthur: I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.
- Coordinator: Crucifixion?
- Mr. Cheeky: Ah, no. Freedom.
- Coordinator: What?
- Mr. Cheeky: Eh, freedom for me. they said I hadn't done anything, so I can go and live on an island somewhere.
- Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
- Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really!
- Coordinator: [laughing] Oh, I see, very good. Well...
- Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out the door, one cross each, line on the left.