Lisa Simpson

From Quotes
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
Burton Hills
Jump to: navigation, search
Merge-arrow.svg
It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into The Simpsons. (Discuss)
Lisa Simpson is one of the main characters in the animated television series The Simpsons.

Quotations

  • Do you have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
  • (talking about christianity while reasoning with people who believe that a human skeleton unearthed with wings is an angel) I just think angels are a fantasy. You can either accept science and face reality, or you can believe in angels and live in a childish dreamworld.
  • I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is he's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.
  • (playing hockey goalie): Milhouse, knock him down if he's in your way! Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guards! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!
  • Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
  • Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
  • Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity!
  • Do you know what you're doing?
  • No!
  • Shove it.
  • Whaddya got?
  • Wait! Doesn't my father have the right to a fair trial?
  • Hey, you said we were going to Dairy Queen!
  • If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
  • Are we there yet?
  • [After Bart gets sprayed by a skunk, and rubs the smell off on Lisa's sweater] Just ten more years! Just ten more years! Just ten more years!
  • [Upon seeing Homer's mother for the first time] It's like something out of Dickens or...Melrose Place.
  • I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!
  • Nope, says right there: "School Bus".
  • Bart, what's wrong?
  • And?
  • Excuse me. Bart's a little upset this morning, so could everyone please be extra-nice to him?
  • (moaning) Yes...
  • Dad, do you notice anything strange?
  • Ew, Dad, this is blood!
  • Whoops! Bart and I have to go wash up.
  • You're probably right, let's just go back to--
  • Stop it! I cheated! Cheated, cheated, cheated!
  • Satisfied?
  • Look!
  • (reading) Oh My God!
  • Oh yeah I got my mojo workin now.
  • Because of the Xanax, I’m not overanxious about being a Simpson anymore. I am a little anxious about being on Xanax, but the Zoloft covers that nicely.
  • BART!
  • Prayer... the last refuge of a scoundrel. (Said while spying on Bart as he kneels praying at his bedside, in season 2, episode 14,titled "Bart Gets an F").
  • Please, Bart, I've seen your stupid shemp.
  • Yeah, I've seen your curly too.
  • Mom, Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire and he has Bart!
  • Aah!
  • No, no!
  • (sternly) No dad.
  • You must drive this stake right through his heart.
  • Uh, Dad, that's his crotch.
  • It's so nice having everything back to normal.
  • Grampa's a vampire?
  • But no, we killed Mr. Burns!
  • You're the head vampire?
  • Mom?