Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.Eleanor Roosevelt
- Written by James Ferguson, Robert Shallcross, Tommy Swerdlow, and Michael Goldberg. Directed by Duwayne Dunham.
- Spike: Who's Spike's lead blocker?
- Coach: The Icebox
- Spike: Where's he at?
- Icebox: Right here.
- Spike: Is Spike mistaken, aren't you... a girl?
- Icebox: Gee, good eye.
- Spike: Spike don't play with girls
- Coach: She's pretty good, Spike.
- Spike: Spike don't care, didn't you hear? Spike don't play with...
- [Icebox hits Spike with ball]
- Icebox: I can tackle anything, anytime, anywhere got that?
- Spike: Look you berzerko Barbie doll...