Marge Simpson

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It's discouraging to make a mistake, but it's humiliating when you find out you're so unimportant that nobody noticed it.
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Marge Simpson is one of the main characters in the animated television series The Simpsons.


  • Hmmmmm...
  • bart finish your homework
  • I prefer chicken over steak
  • Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin! It encourages punching, boastfulness and rudeness towards hos!
  • Go home to your son, Mrs. Muntz. And try not to have intercourse on the way!
  • Grocery shopping is so exciting! It's like unwrapping presents from yourself.
  • Have you been up all night eating cheese?
  • Hey! They're doing a documentary on Canadian Graffiti! [Cuts to a spray painted sign saying "Obey The Rules"]
  • History's like an amusement park. Except instead of rides you have dates to memorize.
  • Homer, I don’t want to leave Springfield. I’ve dug myself into a happy little rut here and I’m not about to hoist myself out of it.
  • Homer, I thought our marriage could survive anything, but last night, you not only crossed the line, you threw up on it.
  • I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.
  • Club Soda will get that blood stain out.
  • (drinking a Long Island Iced Tea) I'd like to visit that Long Island Place, if only it were real.
  • It was pretty exciting. But celery's pretty exciting too!
  • Just between us girls, he hasn't been this frisky in years!
  • (to a group of nerds in her back yard) Look, I don't want to start a whole thing with this!
  • You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.
  • Now if you'll excuse me I have some dust that needs busting.
  • Now let's all forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
  • Now that's what I call breakneck speed!
  • Only your father could take a part-time job at a small town paper and wind up the target of international assassins.
  • She's such a butt-hole.
  • (at a circus performance) They always pick the guy with the wires.
  • Well, Bart, your Great Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all, and let God sort them out." Unfortunately, one day put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now let's never speak of him again.
  • You can't say 'sex' on the internet!!
  • You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.
  • You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
  • Bart, stop pestering Satan!
  • (after Lisa implies that God might be female) HER?! (addressing God) She's just kidding, Mister Lord!
  • (Singing "Close To You" when it becomes the family's new doorbell) Why do birds suddenly appear...over there, over here."
  • When Virginia Woolf wrote that every woman needs a room of her own, she must have been talking about the kitchen.
  • What on earth have you done!? My maguppies became bazongas!

Dialogs with Marge

Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but i know he's innocent?
Marge: Well Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying "Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out." Unfortunately one day he put his theory into practice. It took seventy-five Federal Marshals to bring him down. Now let's never speak of this again.
Bart: Mom, What if I can get this guy off the hook? Should I do it?
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn...

Marge: (mutters a prayer)
Psychiatrist: Excuse, what are you doing?
Marge: I'm praying to God that you won't find me insane.
Psychiatrist: I see, and this 'God' - is he in this room right now?
Marge: Well, yes, He's pretty much everywhere.
(The psychiatrist looks at other psychiatrists and shakes his head)

Marge: No! Let's hear him out! He kind of looks like Walter Mondale.
Janitor: Yeah... Looks like.

Marge: (in Toronto) I see you drive on the left up here.
Driver: No, ma'am. I'm drunk.

Marge: Look, they're making a movie! Robert Downey Jr. is shooting it out with the police!
[the shot shows a building where Robert Downey Jr. is exchanging gunfire with a dozen cops]
Bart: I don't see any cameras.

Homer: Marge, what were your gambling losses last year?
Marge: Seven hundred dollars.

Marge: My life is pretty boring. The other day some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn't let them leave. They finally snuck away when I went to make lemonade.
Homer: Yeah, lemonade is good.

Lisa: Oh, those morons make me feel so angry!
Marge: Maybe so, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't call them morons.
Lisa: But they are morons! What grown person could believe in angels?
Marge: Well, your mother for one!
Lisa: You? But you're an intelligent person, mom.
Marge: There has to be more life than just what we see Lisa, everyone needs something to believe in.
Lisa: It's not that I don't have a spiritual side. I just find it hard to believe there's a dead angel hanging in our garage.
Marge: Oh, my poor Lisa, if you can't make a leap of faith now and then, well, I feel sorry for you.
Lisa: Don't feel sorry for me mom. I feel sorry for you.

Marge: My husband is not insane! If you'd just have one conversation with him without mentioning our son Bart.
Psychiatrist: You mean there really is a 'Bart'?! Oh Lord!!

Lisa: What the hecks goin' on?
Marge: We need Bart to help fold your fathers underpants....

Lisa: Mom, you can't say no to nuns!
Marge: That's right...they have powers!

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