Love is a conflict between reflexes and reflections.Mangnu Hirschfield
- An OBE is what you get if you clean the toilets well at King's Cross station.
- On turning down an OBE for his work in campaigning for the National Police Memorial 
- I don't want to do something for the sake of it. I am prepared to wait. If I wait until I am buried, too bad.
- On regularly being asked to re-make Death Wish 
- Ah, that must be George Best's cremation.
- When shown a picture of the Buncefield Oil Depot Fire whilst appearing as a guest on Have I Got News for You in December 2005, provoking laughter and outrage in equal measure
- Calm down dear, it's a commercial.
- the catchphrase of his Esure adverts.
- God, the truth hurts!
- When asked by a Daily Telegraph reporter how he would respond to Gordon Ramsay's comment that "Winner knows nothing about food."
- When I tell people I've slept with more than 130 women, they are appalled but, you know, I've been doing it for 55 years so I don't think that's bad going!
About Michael Winner
- He's the only person I've ever met who talks to me as I wish to be talked to.
- Winner knows nothing about food.