If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; If you want to be happy for life, plant a tree.English Proverb
Joan Crawford portrayed by Faye Dunaway
- I fought worse monsters than you for years in Hollywood
- No wire hangers! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire hangers, ever?! I work and I slave until I'm half dead, and all I hear people say is she's getting old. And what do I get? A daughter who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her as she cares about me! What's wire hangers doing in this closet?!
- Note: the bolded line is ranked #72 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
- You're nothing but a rotten, crooked lawyer...
- Tina, bring me the axe!
- When you polish the floor you have to move the tree.
- I'm not mad at you, Helga, I'm mad at the dirt!
- Scrub. Scrub, Christina. It's not. This floor is not clean! Look at it! This floor is not clean! None of it... this floor is not clean. Nothing is clean. This whole place is a mess!
- Clean up this mess!
- Figure it out.
- Don't fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo!
- I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze!
- Who wants to go swimming?
- Ah... you lost again!
- Ah, but nobody ever said that life was fair, Tina. I'm bigger and I'm faster. I will always beat you.
- Don't you ever use that tone of voice again with me, Missy!...Who do you think you're talking to?!...I'll tell you what yo're going to do: You are going to march yourself upstairs to your room, and will stay there, until I tell you to come out!
- I don't ask much from you, girl...Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to?! Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
- Let's go!
- When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.
- Barbara, please! Please Barbara!
- I can handle the socks.
- It all comes out in the wash.
- Mayer should know the price I pay!
Christina Crawford portrayed by Diana Scarwid / Mara Hoble
- Adopted children are luckiest because they were chosen.
- I wanna know... why did you adopt me?!
- Because I am not one of your fans!
- Maybe just a little true.
- Does she? Does she...?
- Jesus Christ!
- No, go back. Strap yourself in. She'll kill me if she finds out.
- But that's not fair, you're bigger than I am!
- Then I'm not gonna play with you anymore...EVER!
- Yes, Mommie Dearest. Uncle Ted.
- I fix all of my uncles' drinks this way.
My character is only 28