National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation

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National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation is a 1997 film about the Griswolds trip to Las Vegas, as Clark got an extra bonus for developing a food preservative.

Directed by Stephen Kessler.
This time the Griswolds are on a roll. (taglines)

Clark Griswold

  • That's nothing, it's a...birthmark.
  • Hard six coming out.
  • It's my long-life food varnish. The FDA finally approved it!
  • This is great! They don't have any of these games at the regular casino.
  • His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!
  • Rus, don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin.
  • ...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowlege, and a mulch...
  • Oh, Keno! This is easy.

Ellen Griswold

  • I'll never fly again.
  • Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family.
  • Could be could be pregnant again.
  • You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!
  • I love what you've done with the kitchenette.
  • Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower.
  • I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet.

Rusty Griswold

  • Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.
  • I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
  • Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
  • So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!"
  • It's expensive having an entourage.
  • No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?
  • No sir, I do not require them.
  • Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!

Cousin Eddie

  • I'll have some of the yellow. And don't get cheap on me.
  • Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
  • [to Wayne Newton] Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!
  • Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
  • My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes.
  • Hey, kids. Round-up time!
  • Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.

Cousin Vicki

  • Lord, I hate this heat. It's not bad enough it makes your butt stick to the seat. And I want somethin' better...hey, everybody.
  • Honey, these boys ain't much to look at, but, if you want a night away from your cat...


  • Jilly - That's it, kid. Now all we have to do is teach you how to dress.


Clark: Eddie, did anyone ever tell you, you're bad luck.
Eddie: You know, those were my mother's dying words. Course, when you're covered in third degree burns and your leg's caught in a bear trap, you're bound to say weird things.

Ellen: Clark. Are you feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
Clark: Not right now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.

Clark: Here, make the seats good.
[begins pouring coins into the Maitre d's hand]
Maitre d' : No...gratuity...necessary, sir. Right this way.

Jilly: Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight. Hey, you like gettin' massages?
Rusty: By who?
Jilly: [sarcastically] By me. Meet me in the spa tomorrow at 10 o'clock.

Clark: You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie: No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock]

Audrey: OK, what happened to you last night?
Rusty: [giggles]
[Audrey and Rusty sit down to breakfast]
Audrey: Coffee
Rusty: Me, too.
Ellen: Make it three.
Clark: [to waitress] Four coffees it is.
Clark: Kids!
Audrey: Daddy, don't shout.
Clark: What do you say we each have an 'alone day', where each of us can go out and explore the city of Las Vegas in their own way.
Ellen: Clark, I don't think that's such a good...
Rusty: Thanks
Audrey: See, ya.
Clark: Don't worry, honey. You're gonna love it. See ya.

Security: Have you seen a guy named Nick Papagiorgio?
Clark: Yes, he took my wallet. He's over there.

[at Club Areola]
'Security: Your usual table, Mr. Papagiorgio?
Rusty: Not today, Jimmy.
Clark: You're in big trouble, mister.

Ellen: Clark. Are we lost?
Rusty: Yeah, dad. What block are we on?
Clark: Very funny, Rus.

Rusty: I wanna gamble.
Clark: Russell. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business.

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