Night at the Museum

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William P. Lear
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Night at the Museum is a 2006 film that follows a single dad who gets a job at the Museum of Natural History as the night security guard. He thinks it will be a boring, thankless job...until his first night!

Directed by Shawn Levy. Written by Robert Ben Garant (screen story), Thomas Lennon (screenplay) and Milan Trenc (book).
This Christmas, It Won't Be A Silent Night. taglines

Larry Daley

  • This is so not worth $11.50 an hour!
  • Fetch? Play fetch?
  • Come to work with me tonight. You won't be disappointed.
  • Everything in this museum comes to life at night. It's freakin' awesome!
  • [to the lobby doors] Come on! Revolve. Revolve!
  • [after meeting Dr. McPhee] Seems like a fun guy.
  • [to Octavius] Don't be a kiss-ass.
  • Do the Mayans look happy to you?


  • Oh, you in trouble, Dum-Dum. You'd better run-run, from Attila the Hun-Hun!
  • Me no dum-dum! YOU dum-dum! You bring me gum-gum?
  • (mouth covered with splattered bubblegum) A little help here! (groan)

Dr. McPhee

  • [acting sarcastic] Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard.
  • Miss Hutman, this is a museum! I cannot tolerate this type of chaos!
  • Control your young!

Cecil Fredericks

  • The instruction manual.
  • [regarding Gus's attitude] Wonderful guard, terrible people skills.
  • Quite a little ball of fun, aren't you, Dexter?


  • Keep a lid on it, Butterscotch!
  • Are you crackin' wise?
  • Listen up, Lunch Box! Don't try anything funny! I once went ten rounds with (Cecil begins mouthing words annoyedly) John L. Sullivan!
  • Sweet dreams, Hopscotch!


  • Name's Jedediah.
  • No problamo, Gigantor.
  • [Larry has just called him "Teeny"] I...I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
  • [Larry is holding him] Put me down! I don't like to be man-handled!
  • Manifest Destiny, my man, expand or die!
  • It's a big no-can-do, Cracker Jack!
  • ...They look sad... (When asked if the Mayans looked happy)
  • No,no! I ain't working with Toga Boy!


  • Prepare the catapults!
  • We may be small, but our hearts are large... metaphorically speaking.
  • The Romans work alone!
  • (To Larry, who's just called him "Octavus") It's Octavius, *Mary*.
  • The Roman Empire knows no boundaries!

Teddy Roosevelt

  • Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.
  • [to Larry] Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States of America, at your service.
  • Stop babbling, boy!
  • Good lord, Lawrence, why are you slapping a monkey?!
  • [to Larry] Who's evolved?
  • My God, man, are you rabid?
  • Actually, I never did any of those things. Teddy Roosevelt did. I was manufactured in a mannequin factory in Pounkeepsie. I never shot a wild beast. I'm not even brave enough to tell that beautiful woman (Sakajewea) I love her. But you (Larry) gotta finish the job this time. You can't quit. I'm made of wax, Larry. What are you made of?
  • Nothing's impossible. If it can be dreamed, it can be done. Hence the 20-foot jackel staring at you. (To Larry) Don't make eye contact!


  • [to Larry] You would not believe how stuffy it is in there!
  • He says he wants to rip you apart.


Larry Daley: Ah, Teddy Roosevelt, right?
Rebecca: Yes. A great visionary.
Larry: Yes, definitely. He was our fourth president, right?
Rebecca: Twenty-sixth.
Larry: Twenty-sixth.

[Larry jumps out from being a wall and screams, scaring the other guards]
Cecil: We're too old for surprises.
Larry: Really? I thought you liked surprises! Especially the fact that everything in the museum comes to life at night! That little sweetheart.
Cecil: Larry, we wanted to tell you but you never would've believed us.
Larry: Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight?
Gus: What?
Larry: I said, "Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight", Gus!
Gus: Keep a lid on it, Butterscotch!

Cecil: It can get a little spooky at nights so you might want to put a few lights on. The most important thing - don't let anything in...or out.
Larry: Out?

Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Name's Jedediah.
Larry: Okay, Jedediah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: That's a big no-can-do, crackerjack.
Larry: What's going on here?
Jedediah: Somebody's got to pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
["toy" train hits Larry in the nose, topples over]
Larry: Ooh, ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for cryin' out loud!
Larry: All right. That's enough!
cowboy: We got a breach!

Teddy Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States of America, at your service.
Larry: Okay, I'm Larry Daley, the new night guard...
Teddy Roosevelt: Pleasure to meet you, Lawrence Daley! Now, if you excuse me, [cocks shotgun] the hunt's afoot.
Larry: [mutters] Hunt's afoot.

Larry: [to Jed] "Hey, Teeny," how does that sound?
Jedediah: It hurts my feelings.
Larry: Well, Gigantor makes me feel like some kinda freak.
Octavius: I just call you Larry.
Larry:: Don't be a kiss-ass.

Teddy Roosevelt:Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
Larry: Teddy, this guy has been pushing me, and pushing me and I am sick of it!

  • Easter Island head: QQQQQQQQQUUUUUIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEET!!!! (pause) My Dum-Dum want to speak!

Larry: Okay, Dexter. No hard feelings, okay?

[Dexter slaps Larry, Larry raises his hand to slap Dexter in return]

Teddy Roosevelt: [threateningly] Lawrence...
Larry: But... You saw!
Teddy Roosevelt: Who is evolved?
Larry: [muttering] I am...
Teddy Roosevelt: WHO is evolved?
Larry: I am!

Easter Island Head: Hey! Dum-dum!
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[People screaming]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You'd better run-run, from Attila the Hun-hun!
[Larry runs as Attila and his gang are chasing him]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!

Cecil: Hey, Huns. (Two burly Hun guards lay hold of Cecil taking him from Larry)
Larry Daley: (To Akmenrah) Tell Attila to take him (Cecil) back to the museum and put him with the rest of the guards.
Akmenrah: (To Attila) Azuzu baka raka lokeu. (Attila nods and sounds agreement and turns to his men)
Larry Daley: Oh and uh, no limb ripping.
Attila: Zahza buku.
Larry Daley: Oh no no no.
Attila: (makes a small amount indication with his thumb and index finger) Pikaka?
Larry Daley: (copies the gesture with it a bit larger than Attila's) Mmmm. Makikaka.
Attila: (he and his men happily laugh) Egobugu! Li tu makikaka lau!
Cecil: (as the guards pick him bodily up and bear him away) Wait, hold on a minute. What does "Makikaka" mean? (to Akmenrah) Translation please?


  • This Christmas, It Won't Be A Silent Night.
  • When The Lights Go Off, It's On!
  • Where History Comes To Life.
  • At The Museum of Natural History, Something Unnatural Is Happening.
  • See The Side Of The Museum You Won't See On The Tour.


External links

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