Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum is a 2006 film that follows a single dad who gets a job at the Museum of Natural History as the night security guard. He thinks it will be a boring, thankless job...until his first night!
- Directed by Shawn Levy. Written by Robert Ben Garant (screen story), Thomas Lennon (screenplay) and Milan Trenc (book).
- This is so not worth $11.50 an hour!
- Fetch? Play fetch?
- Come to work with me tonight. You won't be disappointed.
- Everything in this museum comes to life at night. It's freakin' awesome!
- [to the lobby doors] Come on! Revolve. Revolve!
- [after meeting Dr. McPhee] Seems like a fun guy.
- [to Octavius] Don't be a kiss-ass.
- Do the Mayans look happy to you?
- Oh, you in trouble, Dum-Dum. You'd better run-run, from Attila the Hun-Hun!
- Me no dum-dum! YOU dum-dum! You bring me gum-gum?
- (mouth covered with splattered bubblegum) A little help here! (groan)
- [acting sarcastic] Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard.
- Miss Hutman, this is a museum! I cannot tolerate this type of chaos!
- Control your young!
- The instruction manual.
- [regarding Gus's attitude] Wonderful guard, terrible people skills.
- Quite a little ball of fun, aren't you, Dexter?
- Keep a lid on it, Butterscotch!
- Are you crackin' wise?
- Listen up, Lunch Box! Don't try anything funny! I once went ten rounds with (Cecil begins mouthing words annoyedly) John L. Sullivan!
- Sweet dreams, Hopscotch!
- Name's Jedediah.
- No problamo, Gigantor.
- [Larry has just called him "Teeny"] I...I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
- [Larry is holding him] Put me down! I don't like to be man-handled!
- Manifest Destiny, my man, expand or die!
- It's a big no-can-do, Cracker Jack!
- ...They look sad... (When asked if the Mayans looked happy)
- No,no! I ain't working with Toga Boy!
- Prepare the catapults!
- We may be small, but our hearts are large... metaphorically speaking.
- The Romans work alone!
- (To Larry, who's just called him "Octavus") It's Octavius, *Mary*.
- The Roman Empire knows no boundaries!
- Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.
- [to Larry] Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States of America, at your service.
- Stop babbling, boy!
- Good lord, Lawrence, why are you slapping a monkey?!
- [to Larry] Who's evolved?
- My God, man, are you rabid?
- Actually, I never did any of those things. Teddy Roosevelt did. I was manufactured in a mannequin factory in Pounkeepsie. I never shot a wild beast. I'm not even brave enough to tell that beautiful woman (Sakajewea) I love her. But you (Larry)...you gotta finish the job this time. You can't quit. I'm made of wax, Larry. What are you made of?
- Nothing's impossible. If it can be dreamed, it can be done. Hence the 20-foot jackel staring at you. (To Larry) Don't make eye contact!
- [to Larry] You would not believe how stuffy it is in there!
- He says he wants to rip you apart.
- Larry Daley: Ah, Teddy Roosevelt, right?
- Rebecca: Yes. A great visionary.
- Larry: Yes, definitely. He was our fourth president, right?
- Rebecca: Twenty-sixth.
- Larry: Twenty-sixth.
- [Larry jumps out from being a wall and screams, scaring the other guards]
- Cecil: We're too old for surprises.
- Larry: Really? I thought you liked surprises! Especially the fact that everything in the museum comes to life at night! That little sweetheart.
- Cecil: Larry, we wanted to tell you but you never would've believed us.
- Larry: Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight?
- Gus: What?
- Larry: I said, "Do you have any idea what I've been through tonight", Gus!
- Gus: Keep a lid on it, Butterscotch!
- Cecil: It can get a little spooky at nights so you might want to put a few lights on. The most important thing - don't let anything in...or out.
- Larry: Out?
- Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
- Larry: Hey, blondie!
- Jedediah: Name's Jedediah.
- Larry: Okay, Jedediah, stop the train, please!
- Jedediah: That's a big no-can-do, crackerjack.
- Larry: What's going on here?
- Jedediah: Somebody's got to pay.
- Larry: Pay for what?
- Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
- Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
- Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
- Larry: Thank you.
- Jedediah: NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM 'IM!''
- ["toy" train hits Larry in the nose, topples over]
- Larry: Ooh, ow...
- Jedediah: Oh, for cryin' out loud!
- Larry: All right. That's enough!
- cowboy: We got a breach!
- Teddy Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of these United States of America, at your service.
- Larry: Okay, I'm Larry Daley, the new night guard...
- Teddy Roosevelt: Pleasure to meet you, Lawrence Daley! Now, if you excuse me, [cocks shotgun] the hunt's afoot.
- Larry: [mutters] Hunt's afoot.
- Larry: [to Jed] "Hey, Teeny," how does that sound?
- Jedediah: It hurts my feelings.
- Larry: Well, Gigantor makes me feel like some kinda freak.
- Octavius: I just call you Larry.
- Larry:: Don't be a kiss-ass.
- Teddy Roosevelt:Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?!
- Larry: Teddy, this guy has been pushing me, and pushing me and I am sick of it!
- Easter Island head: QQQQQQQQQUUUUUIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEET!!!! (pause) My Dum-Dum want to speak!
- Larry: Okay, Dexter. No hard feelings, okay?
[Dexter slaps Larry, Larry raises his hand to slap Dexter in return]
- Teddy Roosevelt: [threateningly] Lawrence...
- Larry: But... You saw!
- Teddy Roosevelt: Who is evolved?
- Larry: [muttering] I am...
- Teddy Roosevelt: WHO is evolved?
- Larry: I am!
- Easter Island Head: Hey! Dum-dum!
- Larry: Yes?
- Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
- Larry: I give you gum-gum?
- Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
- Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
- Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
- [People screaming]
- Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You'd better run-run, from Attila the Hun-hun!
- [Larry runs as Attila and his gang are chasing him]
- Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!
- Cecil: Hey, Huns. (Two burly Hun guards lay hold of Cecil taking him from Larry)
- Larry Daley: (To Akmenrah) Tell Attila to take him (Cecil) back to the museum and put him with the rest of the guards.
- Akmenrah: (To Attila) Azuzu baka raka lokeu. (Attila nods and sounds agreement and turns to his men)
- Larry Daley: Oh and uh, no limb ripping.
- Attila: Zahza buku.
- Larry Daley: Oh no no no.
- Attila: (makes a small amount indication with his thumb and index finger) Pikaka?
- Larry Daley: (copies the gesture with it a bit larger than Attila's) Mmmm. Makikaka.
- Attila: (he and his men happily laugh) Egobugu! Li tu makikaka lau!
- Cecil: (as the guards pick him bodily up and bear him away) Wait, hold on a minute. What does "Makikaka" mean? (to Akmenrah) Translation please?
- This Christmas, It Won't Be A Silent Night.
- When The Lights Go Off, It's On!
- Where History Comes To Life.
- At The Museum of Natural History, Something Unnatural Is Happening.
- See The Side Of The Museum You Won't See On The Tour.
- Ben Stiller — Larry Daley
- Dick Van Dyke — Cecil
- Mickey Rooney — Gus
- Bill Cobbs — Reginald
- Jake Cherry — Nick Daley
- Robin Williams — Teddy Roosevelt
- Mizuo Peck — Sacagawea
- Steve Coogan — Octavius
- Owen Wilson — Jedediah
- Ricky Gervais — Dr. McPhee
- Carla Gugino — Rebecca
- Rami Malek — Ahkmenrah
- Patrick Gallagher — Attila the Hun
- Pierfrancesco Favino — Christopher Columbus
- Brad Garrett — Easter Island Head (voice)
- Kim Raver — Erica Daley
- Paul Rudd — Don
- Charlie Murphy — Taxi Driver