Phil Brooks

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Phil Brooks (born 1978-10-26), better known by his ring name, CM Punk, is an American professional wrestler. His Straight edge gimmick reflects his lifestyle that he lives, taken to another level in the ring. As CM Punk says to his opponents, "Straight Edge means I'm drug-free, alcohol-free, and better than you!"

Sourced

In wrestling

Catchphrases
  • "It's clobberin' time!"
    • Catchphrase taken from the comic book character The Thing.
  • "Straight edge means I'm drug free, alcohol free and better than you."
  • "You just got Punk'd!" (used in OVW)

" This is true, this is real, this is (fucking) straight edge ! "

Ring of Honor
  • "Before you cut me off, the reason I hate you, the reason in my heart of hearts why I hate you, is I didn’t know any better when I was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer. I thought it was a hard day’s work he was doing. I didn’t realize he was out at a bar. I didn’t realize ‘work’ meant ‘unemployment office.’ I didn’t think it was strange for someone to come home and take an old style up into the shower. I didn’t think it was strange for somebody to pass out. I thought an old style, a pack a day, was the norm. Raven, my father is exactly like you. Since day one of Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered, things aren’t supposed to be this way! I’d shake your hand like a normal man, but the thing is, I don’t respect you! I hate you! I hate you for everything you’ve pissed away! Everything I’ve scrapped and clawed for that I haven’t even earned yet! That you got handed to you and you flushed down the toilet! For what? For pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I’m born of your poison society. So, on the seventeenth of July, I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world! Your time in Ring of Honor will be done. That is a promise. This is true! This is real! This is straight edge!"
  • "Isn't this the prettiest little thing you've ever seen? It was over a year ago I held this belt high in the air after I fought for it for the first time in Dayton, Ohio against Samoa Joe and I proclaimed this belt the most important thing to me. Right now, in my hands, as of this day 6/18/05, THIS becomes the most important belt in the world! This belt in the hands of any other man is just a belt, but in my hands it becomes power. Just like this microphone in the hands of any of the boys in the back is just a microphone, but in the hands of a dangerous man like myself it becomes a pipe-bomb. These words that I speak spoken but anybody else are just words strung loosely together to form sentences. What I say I mean, and what I mean I say, and they become anthems! You see, if I could be afforded the time here a little bit of a story. There was once an old man, walking home from work. He was walking in the snow, and he stumbled upon a snake frozen in the ice. He took that snake, and he brought it home, and he took care of it, and he thawed it out, and he nursed it back to health. And as soon as that snake was well enough, it bit the old man. And as the old man lay there dying he asked the snake, 'Why? I took care of you. I loved you. I saved your life.' And that snake looked that man right in the eye and said, 'You stupid old man. I'm a snake.' The greatest thing the devil ever did was make you people believe he didn't exist...and you're looking at him right now! I AM THE DEVIL HIMSELF! And all of you stupid, mindless people fell for it! You all believed in the same make-believe superhero that the legendary Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat saw some year ago today. No, you see, you don't know anything. You followed me hook-line and sinker, all of you did, and I'm not mad at you...I just feel sorry for you. This belongs to me! Everything you see here belongs to me, and I did what I had to do to get my hands on this. Now I am the GREATEST PRO WRESTLER walkin' the Earth today! This is my stage, this is my theater, you are my puppets! When I pulled those marionette strings, and I moved your emotions, and I played with them, and honestly it's 'cause I get off on it. I hate each and every single one of you with a thousand burns and I will not stop...I will not stop until I prove that I am better than you, that I am better than Low Ki, that I am better than AJ Styles! I'm better than Samoa Joe. Ladies and gentlemen, the champ is here! You don't have to love it, but you better learn to accept it. 'Cause I'm taking this with me, and there's not a single person in that locker room that can stop me!"
    • Ring of Honor, Death Before Dishonor III. June 18th, 2005.
    • This promo took place directly after Punk defeated Austin Aries for the ROH World Championship proceeding to turn the, at the time face, Punk heel. Directly after this promo Christopher Daniels made his first appearance in ROH in over a year to challenge for the belt. This promo also made reference to an old parable about an animal doing an act of violence to another creature that is venomous and being surprised when the animal injects the venom to the creature after the act of kindness who then proceeds to explain it is their nature to perform the act.
Independent Wrestling Association Mid-South
Full Impact Pro
  • "You're a whore!"
    • Full Impact Pro ’Fallout: Night 2’ in Tampa, Florida. November 13, 2004
    • During his Falls Count Anywhere match against then FIP Champion Homicide, Homicide and Punk ended up fighting in a strip club, where Punk shouted the remark at one of the strippers.
WWE Raw
  • "Sometime it's what you don't do that makes you who you are."
    • WWE Raw. August 11, 2008
    • During a promo with JBL where JBL wanted him to have a drinking contest.
Extreme Championship Wrestling
  • "Don't let these tattoos fool you. I'm straight edge. I'm a man of great discipline; I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs... my addiction is wrestling - my obsession is competition. Discipline. My name is C...M...Punk."
  • "People like to come up to me and tell me that I've got nice ink. Except these tattoos aren't just decorations. They are declarations. Every tattoo I have tells its own story about who I am. Drug-free. Honor. And a war against the system. See I'm not some punk kid looking for the next thrill. I'm a highly disciplined athelete, craving to compete with the very best. My obsession is competiton and my addiction is wrestling. My name, is C...M... Punk."
  • "Mike Knox, I am also getting real sick of this! Your problem isn't me staying away from your girl... Your problem is your girl staying away from me!"
    • Extreme Championship Wrestling. October 3, 2006
    • To Mike Knox when he told Punk to "stay the hell away from my girl" (his "girl" at the time being Kelly Kelly).
  • "Thanks for your questions, Elijah Burke, but I like to keep my reasons for joining The New Breed to myself."
  • "You know, there's one other thing I don't do, Vince. I don't have dirty, unprotected sex with some money grubbing skank who eventually files a paternity suit against me, which gets me kicked out of my own house and leaves me nothing but a living, breathing national disgrace."
    • Extreme Championship Wrestling. August 21, 2007.
    • To Vince McMahon when he said there was no way Punk could be his illegitimate son because of Punk being straight edge.
  • "Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers."
    • Extreme Championship Wrestling. September 4, 2007.
    • To Armando Estrada when he wished CM Punk good luck in his "Last Chance" match with John Morrison.
  • "Balls...that is disturbing."
    • Extreme Championship Wrestling. October 23, 2007.
    • To Balls Mahoney after he described his "date" with Kelly Kelly by chuckling perversely, to which Balls replies, "Yeah, that's what she said too."
    • "I am nobody's stepping stone!" (Towards Chavo)
    • "Unlike you Edge, I show respect to my opponents!"

Personal

  • "There is no god, and the cage wasn't 30 feet."
  • "Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE"
  • "Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I'm unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch. This brainbuster is for you."

Ghost Hunters

  • "Have you guys ever ghost hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend... I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him, but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts."
  • "Maybe the ghosts have a glass ceiling? Break through that glass ceiling ghosts! I plan to."
  • "This going out on the Internet? I'm huge on the Internet! Wrestling nerds one and all are helping us out!"
  • "Anybody wanna go shoot some pool?"
  • "Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out who's left in the boat?"
  • "What's cool and goes click?" (Punk hangs up the phone)
    • Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006.
    • Someone continuously prank called the telephone in the house and then not talking which lead to this comment.
  • "I came here to hunt ghosts and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
  • "Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo. you see dead people?"
    • Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006
    • Beginning line for when Punk answers the phone.
  • "I'd be doing some pretty evil shit."
    • Ghost Hunters. October 31, 2006.
    • Talking about if he were a ghost.

Unsourced

  • "Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I'm unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch. This brainbuster is for you."
  • "Ray Charles died today. There's talk of putting Ronald Reagans big head on ten dollar bills, but I'd much rather reach into my wallet and see a smiling Ray Charles looking back at me. What the hell did Reagan ever do besides fuel a cold war? Stupid republicans. Ray Charles kicked heroins ass, overcame poverty, and even though he was blind, became one of the best piano players in the world. The guy had soul. The fucker even knew when that little black kid was trying to steal a guitar from off his wall in blues brothers! Reagan never did shit like that. This proves my theory that Ray Charles was really Daredevil. Ben Affleck is a pussy. Where's the multi state c-span 24 hour weird mass viewing funeral for a talented musician? Ah fuck it, I've gone off on another tangent."
  • "So I'm sittin' in Nashville Tennessee, it's a Wednesday night - and I'm wrestling on pay per view. maybe you've heard of it, "NWA:TNA." Around Thursday at 5:59 at night I fly to Chicago. From Chicago I fly to Heathrow, from Heathrow I fly to Germany. This is the absolute WORST trip of my entire life... and I travel a LOT. See I've been all over the world. I've been to Puerto Rico, I've been to Japan, I've been to Mexico, I've wrestled in South Africa, I've wrestled in Asia. I've wrestled from the tip of Antarctica down to Antar- I've been everywhere. My plane comin' into Chicago is late. I gotta' hustle halfway across O'Hare Airport. I've got people *laughin'* at me, because a seventy-year-old man who's on the same flight as me made it to the flight to Heathrow first. So I get to Heathrow, and the lady at the BMI counter tells me to stand in line at the Luftstansa counter because that's who handles the German flights. Well I stood in line for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES and had to listen to all these little Irish pipsqueaks complain that something's wrong with *their* passports. And when I *FINALLY* get out there, I *FINALLY* get to the counter, my plane's leaving in nine minutes and they tell me I can't get on it. You know what I did? You know what I did because of who I am, CM Punk? Because I'm drug free and alcohol free? I *took* my bags, I even picked up a little old lady who needed the lift... and I RAN to my gate, and I GOT there in time, and they PUT me on that plane -- 'cause I am a LEGEND, I am a superstar. And I get to Germany. I get here and I have to put up with the SAME crap that I have to put up with in America. "Chris Hero." Chris Hero, you beat me ONE TIME, and I had a hundred and fourteen degree temperature and the GOUT. This is no laughing matter. Germany, you made a name for yourself... this is your home. This is the first time I'm here. And what's CM Punk known for doin? BEATING THE ODDS. Today, sixty-minute Iron Man Match... I'm gonna' pin you sixty seven times and it STILL won't matter. No matter how many times you pin me, if i let you, I am STILL better than you. Because *I AM* drug free, *I AM* alcohol free, and I'm straightedge. And I'm better than you."
  • "So here we are in merry old England. CM Punk, Straightedge Wrestling Superstar. And what's the national passtime here in England? Certainly isn't *wrestling*... You think every single person here in this crowd is here to see *wrestling*, but they're not. You see cause there's a bar, right over to my right right here. (To a fan wearing glasses) What are you hear for? Four eyes what are you here for? (Another fan shouts "to drink beer!") To drink beer, EXACTLY. You're here to drink beer. You're a LOSER, and your dad probably beat you when you were a kid... which was probably two weeks ago. (Now facing the camera) He's so drunk he can't even keep the poison in his mouth. You see I believe in three things: No drugs, no alcohol, and no promiscuous sex. See I'm a fine, upstanding individual... and if these fans came to see me, they came to see somebody who's better than them. Now England is known for soccer -- at least that's what we call it in America. You guys call it "football," but I'm here to *wrestle*. Tonight, I'm here to destroy Raven, and I'm here to destroy every single one of Raven's fans. Who's a Raven fan here? No damn sense! None of you have any damn sense! (Crowd starts to chant "al-co-hol! al-co-hol!") DRINK! Keep drinkin'! Keep drinkin I WANT you to die! You smoke too?! Keep smokin'! Drink up, England... I WANT your liver to fail. Smoke up England, I WANT you to die. And here, speaking of death, right here tonight in that very ring - GET A SHOT OF THE RING - tonight, just like I did in America I'm gonna' DOMINATE you, Raven. And your time in FWA will be "nevermore." And you can quote THAT, bitch."
  • "Thats a very appropriate color he's wearing. Green."
  • "That was the longest run-on sentence I've ever heard in my entire life. Did you even take a breath in between words there?"
  • "Do you know what it's like going through life better than everybody? It's hard."
  • "Okay, okay! Honestly, you fucking DICK, get the fuck away from my car, or i´ll eat your dog!"
  • "He just hit himself in the dinger with a rubber"
  • "You can tell that hold is effective because his face is red and the rest of his body is the color of a bottle of 2% milk."
  • "So what? I'm out here doing commentary with malaria"
  • "All your heroes are dead! I killed them!"
  • Punk: So if he pins AJ does he win that belt?
Bower: No, it's not a title match.
Punk: What belt is that anyway?
Bower: NWA.
Punk: Never heard of it.
  • Ian: CM Punk's opponent will be...
Punk: No whammies, No whammies, No whammies, No whammies--
Ian: The American Dragon Bryan Danielson!
Punk: NO! THAT'S A FUCKIN' WHAMMY!
  • Prazak: Punk, are you staying around for the CZW show later?
Punk: FUCK NO!

External links

Wikipedia
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