Pineapple Express (film)

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Pineapple Express is a 2008 action comedy film.

Directed by David Gordon Green. Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg.

Saul Silver

  • [Re: what can find them in the woods] I don't know. Heat-seaking missles... foxes... and bloodhounds... barracudas...
  • What down there? A fucking Rancor?
  • The monkey's out of the bottle!
  • It's like killing a unicorn... with, like, a bomb.
  • Fuck tha po-lice!
  • It smells like God's vagina.
  • I thought hurricane season was over!
  • A cop, a lady, and a guy? Man, that's like a massacre.
  • Well be careful, man. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first... then teamwork.
  • Pandora doesn't go back in the box, she only comes out.
  • Wait, what do you mean the battery's dead?
  • Don't worry man, your cat's going to Heaven.
  • Are you on that meth shit again?!
  • Looks like someone fucked you up with a coffee pot!
  • BFFF?
  • Hey look, it's like my thumb is my cock.
  • How the monkey'd you get in here?
  • You threw up on my printer.
  • One love!
  • I was trying to hit that tree... I missed.
  • Well how often do people smash things, man? I'm rusty.
  • Fuck Jeff Goldblum man!
  • [looking at the sky] Space...
  • You're in the jungle, baby.


  • Grab the weed! The snacks! Food! Fruit Roll-Ups!
  • I'm gonna throw up! Chicken fries...
  • Best fucking friends forever man!
  • You were cold and I clothed you!
  • (after his girlfriend says she wants to marry him) ...OOOO I made a mistake...
  • (To his girlfriend's father) Oh, please don't fuck us anywhere!


  • Thug Life!
  • It's my cats birthday today.
  • You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos motherfucker!
  • I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute
  • Legends never die, dude!
  • See this? There's no hair under there. Makes me more aerodynamic when i fight!
  • I feel like the nerd at the sleep-over that fell asleep at nine
  • Okay, guys, I know I sold y'all out, and I've been a real son of a bitch, and a shitty friend - Saul, I'm talking to you; Dale, you're a new friend - but, uh, I can make it up, okay? I forgot: bro's before ho's.
  • Man, just listen: I would just appreciate it if both y'all would just take your shoes off; I mean, this is brand new carpet, you're tracking mud in here - Matheson, you've got British Knights on. I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987!
  • What the fuck, man? You shot me in my stomach! I'mma die now, probably. Man, I had y'all over for dinner! Fish tacos! This is how you do me???


  • I'm gonna kill the fuck outta yo ass.
  • I may look tough, but I got a lot of feelings...and you hurt...damn near every one of them.
  • I look like Hamburglar!
  • Sit yo sexy ass down, so you can watch yourself die!
  • Dinner gonna be cold tonight, asshole!
  • Hey Ted! It's Matheson! They Gone Ted!
  • Well lookie here, Mr. Folgers!
  • I seent it!
  • I got glass in my ass!
  • See? See? You see, right there. You catch it? You used to not give a fuck about discretion! I seen'd you pull somebody jawbone off. I SEEN'D it! You was ruthless. You was ruthless, man.

Shannon Anderson

  • You're as high as a fucking kite!


Saul: My favorite part of this was when we were in the car chase.
Red: You guys were in a car chase? Aww man that must have been sweet!
Saul: Yea, it was man, I had my leg stuck in the windshield and everything!

Saul: Why are we even here? This place is so fuckin' scary!
Dale: At least I had an idea. You didn't have any ideas, so shut up!
Saul: That's not true! I had two ideas: "Nowhere" and "Quizno's".

Dale: What else?
Red: Okay, uh, he's at war right now with the Asians. They're, like, in a drug war... right now.
Dale: The Asians? What? WHAT Asians??? INDIANS are technically Asians!
Saul: It's true.
Dale: What Asians?
Red: Oh, I don't know, what, uh, Chinese? Or Korean? Or, uh, um -
Saul: Viet Cong?
Red: Yeah, little... little... just, little Asian people, like... the Asians, with the guns, and the drugs, and not his friends.


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