Planes, Trains & Automobiles
Planes, Trains & Automobiles is a 1987 film in which two strangers, each desperately trying to get home for Thanksgiving, meet up and are forced to travel together in order to reach their destination.
- Written and directed by John Hughes.
- We'd have a better chance of playing Pick-up Sticks with our buttcheeks than getting a plane outta here tonight.
- I'm still a million bucks shy of being a millionaire.
- You do more ball handling in an hour than Larry Bird does all night.
- [On bus]
- Stranger making out with girl: [To Neal] "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."
- [In bed in a hotel room, waking up & holding hands]
- Neal: Del, why did you kiss my ear?
- Del: Why are you holding my hand?
- Neal: Where's your other hand?
- Del: Between two pillows.
- Neal: Those aren't pillows!
- [At a taxi lane, outside the car-rental building]
- Taxi driver: Where to?
- Neal: Chicago.
- Taxi driver: Chicago? You know you're in St Louis?
- Neal: Yes I do.
- Taxi driver: Why not catch a plane? You get there faster and you get a free meal.
- Neal: If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak.
- [At cafe, when Neal accuses Del of stealing $700 from his wallet]
- Del: [hands wallet to Neal] There's exactly $263 in there! If there's a dollar more, then you can call me a thief! Just count it!
- Neal: [checks wallet, hands it back] Empty.
- Del: WHAT! [checks wallet]
- Neal: Dry
- Del: We were robbed!
- Neal: [in mocking, sarcastic tone] Do ya think so?
- [At the car rental agency, after Neal finds the rental car he was assigned isn't in the spot]
- Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
- Neal Page:(coldly) Yes.
- Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
- Neal: (quietly and rising in volume) You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
- Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
- Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. (very quietly and slowly) I want a fucking car RIGHT fucking NOW!
- Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
- Neal: I threw it away.
- Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
- Neal: Oh boy what?
- Car Rental Agent: (sneering) You're fucked.