Jade Puget

From Quotes
Yet each man kills the thing he loves from all let this be heard some does it with a bitter look some with a flattering word the coward does it with a kiss the brave man with the sword.
Oscar Wilde
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Jade Errol Puget was born on November 28, 1973 and is the guitarist for the band AFI. (undecided genre. They are multiple genre's so they really don't have one.)

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  • Jade: It would be nice if some of these rock guys from the midwest pick up the record and actually get in to it. It'll be like that metrosexual episode of South Park: those guys will be showing up at the Nickelback concert with product in their hair and wearing a mesh shirt.
  • Guy: So what's going on in the studio today?

Jade: Umm, we're working on the mood lighting. We've been working on the mood lighting for two days, and we had to get a runner get some candles. These are the candles that were used on the Milli Vanilli record, so we got those in here. So hopefully, probably spend another few days on the mood lighting, and then we're gonna try to spend a day tweeking out the ping-pong table.

  • Interviewer: Aaaand finally, Jade, since you're named after an ornamental stone used as decoration, do you have any kids?

Jade: Do I have any kids? No, I don't.

Interviewer: Okay, uhh...would you rather name your first child if you ever have one, "Alabaster" or "Marble" which are two kinds of ornamental stone?

Jade: Yeah, I actually thought about that. I thought if I had a son, I would name him "Salt" but I'd spell it "NaCl." (At this point, Davey gets up off of his seat, covering his mouth as he is laughing) Interviewer: I really appreciate that kind of humor.

  • Davey: I feel like a motivational speaker right now. "You CAN do it! Positive minds, positive body. We're here to show you guys today that you CAN succeed with the right outlook."

Jade: Or a spelling bee, maybe.

Davey: Yeah, a spelling bee?

Jade: Though judging by our album we can't spell very well.

Davey: Yeah. Jade didn't do that, that's because I can't spell. Jade can really spell, he's a good speller. He won a mini spelling bee.

Jade: ck, not qk.

Davey: See, I argued with him forever. I'm very tall, though. But this is not about hearing us talk-

Jade: Oh! (various mumbling by all the guys on stage) Jade: Gentlemen- (more mumbling and talking all at once)

  • Davey:"I don't know, who would you want to tour with?"

Jade:"Backstreet Boys, N*Sync-"

Davey:"Britney Spears, maybe."

Jade:"-LFO-"

Interviewer:"Yeah. Only good bands."

Davey:"Yeah."

  • “Mainly I've been dividing my time between working on my biceps by benchpressing Ferraris filled with supermodels and teaching the homeless to read.
  • “Our new AP covers are out this weekend, and, in the spirit of shameless self-promotion.........

BUY MY FACE!!

  • "Yes, hopefully Smith will be somehow involved with Blaqk Audio's touring. And I plan on playing keyboards, singing, and indeed busting some moves. I'm going to do a stage dive while shredding a keyboard solo. "
  • Kerrang : What’s the cruellest prank you’ve ever pulled?

Jade: “Cruelest” is spelled wrong there. Kerrang : Sir, it’s right. Unless you’re using crazy American spelling. Jade: (authoritatively) I’m six-times state spelling bee champion, I’m totally right. Unless you’re using crazy English spelling. Anyway, maybe not cruelest, but one of the best pranks we ever did was at this show where there was a curtain over the backstage entrance instead of a door. We hung up this slice of pizza at face height, then put a bowl of cereal and two doughnuts on the ground, so that when someone came in they’d get a face full of pizza, then step into the stuff on the floor and have a pair of weird shoes.

  • "I'm so fucked on the show tonight. Fudged. Sorry kids, if you curse you're the worst."
  • “Actually, we promised you dirt and hippy leaf cakes...”
  • "But yeah! It's exciting to finally have something out even if it's one song. I know most of you probably already have rips of Stiff Kittens but dig up some change in the cushions of your couch and buy it. If you put the change in the CD tray of your computer and close it, the money goes right to Apple and the song automatically downloads to your desktop.

On second though, there will be one person who actually does that and then gets mad because their computer bursts into flames, so please don't put change in your computer people, I lied."

  • "So Davey won World's Sexiest Vegetarian again. Whatever. I won World's Buffest Kickboxer, AGAIN. Jeez, that's gotta be like 10 times in a row now I've won that?"
  • “Will you stop talking about Davey please? I'm jealous. I thought you liked me more than him.”
  • “Davey doesn't watch the damn road when he's driving. I'm sure if we crashed, he would be fine and I would be embedded in a tree. If he ever kills me with his driving though, I'm gonna come back as a squirrel and run up his pant leg.”
  • “If you really want to see some ill patty cake, you have to see Davey and I do it. And then watch us play patty cake.”
  • “Sorry, that was me, not Davey that made that post, I seem to have a habit of using his name to pick up girls... *cough*...”boys”...*cough cough*...
  • “If you want Davey to sneak you in, it'll probably be in some little make-up case or something.”
  • “During the recording of Black Sails, Davey and I played chess constantly.”
  • “Hmm, corn nuts. Can't say I'm a big fan. I'm more of an apple pie kinda guy because it reminds me of sex and death.”
  • “Can't the lemons and pancakes just get along?”
  • “The whole time we were recording, we were trying to get permission from Winona Ryder to use her ‘My whole life is a dark room’ part from Beetlejuice but we never heard from her so we said, "Fuck it, we'll use our own spooky dark-haired girl," and called in Davey.”
  • “Even when I go see one of my favorite bands, I start to get bored/tired/over it after an hour and a half. If they said, ‘Guess what! We'll be playing for 2 hours tonight!’, you'd see a Jade-shaped hole in the front door.”
  • “Chrome Grover’s are bitchin', I have them on a couple guitars. Almost as good as blue fuzzy Grover’s.”
  • “I saw Billy Idol about 6 years ago getting out of limo and I yelled "Billy Idol!!" at him, in case maybe he forgot. He gave me a thumbs up.”
  • “Yes, I'm a vegetarian, but not because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
  • “I love your duck with all its ducky goodness.” [In a Q&A when Jenny told him that, her duck loves him and asked if he loved it back.]
  • “Hmm, maybe instead of jumping off the drum riser you could just step carefully down off of it but make a crazy I'm-going-off-really-hard face while you're doing it so people think you're doing some insane stage move.”
  • “And I will be your Guiding Light if you'll be my General Hospital.”
  • “I didn't get my membership stuff! Weak! I stole the patch and armband from Fritch, though, so in your face Fritch!"
  • “I remember Adam gave me this crappy piece of binder paper with a list of all these songs for me to learn and some had checks by them, some had stars, some were underlined but I already new how to play them so I threw that damn crappy crap-ass piece of dumb binder paper in the damn garbage.”
  • “I mainly use Lineur Intense by L'Oreal but I also use the MAC "Smolder" pencil as well as the liquid liner. The L'Oreal liquid is the best I've tried as far as color and smudging but if you've ever seen me after a show you know that I'm not immune to running eyeliner.”
  • The secret to AFI's awesomeness according to Jade: "It's all in the wrist."
  • “Ninjas are TOTALLY SWEET, what with all the guitar solos & flipping out & totally chopping people's heads off.”
  • “Oh yeah, and using different guitars for different feels in a song is definitely cool. Fender guitars lend themselves well to clean tone parts; they have a nice sparkly yet warm tone that'll make you want to pee in the sink.”
  • “One day, when I was young, my Dad brought home a guitar. I was quite intrigued and went to pick it up but he said, ‘Son, unless you can wail on that thing like Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme or maybe Steve Vai when he was playing with David Lee Roth and he had the sweet double-necked guitar that was like two legs coming out of a heart, keep your damn hands off it!’ And I never touched a guitar again. So to answer your question, yes, I answer the phone whether it rings or not.”
  • “Tell him to come check me out when I'm shredding some sweet finger tapping solos and then he'll be like, ‘Power chords blah blah blah.’ And I'll hit the whammy bar and it'll sound like a plane crashing at an air show and then he'll try to say some other stuff like, ‘Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda.’ And that's when I fire up the wah-wah pedal and it'll be like ‘Wokka wokka wokka wo-wokka wokka.’ All up in his freakin' face.”
  • “So things are going just swell; we eat bagels, we play songs, we take our shirts off and wrestle.”
  • “Later on that night, Davey and I are gonna go get drunk at a bar and smoke up all da chronic because that's what all the cool people be doin, yo!”
  • “An exclamation mark makes everything I say more exciting!”
  • “Boxers. Briefs are stupid. Briefs constrict your shit.”
  • Jeebus! Those are great things to receive! I'd be freakin' stoked to get a lovely juice box! Try getting a walnut. I got a damn walnut one time and it sucked. Totally. And I said, ‘Hey, this damn walnut totally sucks!’"
  • “I can see the problem right away, DON'T SUCK. Cease the sucking immediately. If you decide not to suck, you'll be totally shredding all these major solos and all the chicks will be checking you out and all the guys will be hella jealous of your whammy bar.”
  • “Ever had those little gummy pizzas? N-A-S-T-Y.”
  • “Stevie Wonder picks out my clothes for me.”
  • “I was sitting here without a shirt on, absentmindedly scratching my back with a pen for about five minutes and I just looked in the mirror and saw that I had drawn a nice mural on my back. It looks kind of like a map of Wyoming, with all the rivers and mountain ranges, or maybe a portrait of Bob Marley. Yes. Tablature.”
  • “If I asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to this question be the same as the answer to the first question?”
  • “Will you have sex with me? No? Rape it is, then!”
  • “God, remember Tab cola? It was so nasty, possibly the worst soft drink ever, even worse than Crystal Pepsi. I'll always think of Tab as the beverage of choice for child molesters because I knew this creepy old man who drank it and he must have been a child molester because all old people are child molesters.”
  • “Well, there are some important books that would help you immensely if you were going for a sociology degree, such as: The Archaeology of Knowledge by Michel Foucault, The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism by Max Weber, Das Kapital by Karl Marx, The Division of Labor in Society by Emile Durkheim. However, these are very involved works and not as much fun as watching the grass grow or staring at a cow.”
  • “I hit on your girlfriend, I hit on Davey's wife, I gave your grandpa a sponge bath, I'm down for whatever!”
  • “My favorite foods used to be granola bars and chicken, but then I became vegetarian, so now it's just chicken.”
  • “You should say, ‘Why are you such a stupid dumb ugly? You said you didn't like him but meanwhile you're a dumb ugly because you totally love him!’ and then she'll be all like, ‘That's pretty big talk for someone who eats poop!’ and then you'll totally be all like, ‘More like doesn't eat poop!’"
  • “We're getting super radly awesome close to being done. We finally finished backing vocals and they came out totally 100% neat. I made plenty of super cool faces while I was singing, like this one where I had my eyes all clenched tight and then I hit this high note and looked up to the sky and slowly raised my fist like Whitney Houston in "I Will Always Love You". Another time, I ate all the cheese bagels and Adam was mad. In other news, we had a photo shoot today for the album artwork in this old abandoned building. Here's what happened to me there: I stepped on a dead mouse, sat in a stinky pigeon nest, and set my glasses down in crack head puke.”
  • “I like your jacket, it reminds me of toast and butter.”
  • “I still skate occasionally but last time I did, at our show in Hanford, I did a 360 front side varial over our rolled-up banner and broke every damn bone in my body. Ok, I only broke one bone. Well, I didn't break any bones, but I could have!”
  • “I got up at 6:30 a.m. I heard this hour existed but didn't really believe it till now.”
  • “One time me and Davey were walking down the street and this guy comes up to us and is all, 'Ya'll must be from Grateful Dead!”
  • “Perhaps you could name your cat Meow so it could be smart and say its own name. Or you could name it Stupidcatgetoutofhere and it would be really confused if you tried to call it over to you.”
  • “Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!”
  • “As long as you make the record you want, sales don't matter. We have our music and our fans. Everything else is subject to the whims of the marketplace.”
  • “Well, I was named after Mick Jagger's daughter, Jade Jagger. How emasculating is it to be named after a girl! But I think I handled it well, it's not like I ended up wearing makeup and girl's pants.”
  • “Also, if I recall, there was A LOT of concern before STS came out that it would be basically an industrial/electronic album.”
  • “So, anyway, the point of this history lesson is don't be too bummed when you hear people criticizing or doubting what our next album will be, because if the history of AFI has taught us anything, it is that I am buff.”
  • “I have a 2001 Civic, but it's only got one rim, so, you know, if our album does well I'm hoping to get three more rims, and then I think that'll be pimped to the maximum.”
  • “I'll just come to your house and we can listen to AFI CD's in your room. It's almost as good as a concert...”
  • “So why do you flip off babies?”
  • "I totally agree with you, except for the part about the thing."
  • "Hackey-bag-foot-sack always confused me. I could never figure out what the score was or who was winning, so I'd always get mad and end up kicking it into the lake."
  • "Next time I come to Phoenix we are so going clubbing Chanelle No. 5. I'll wear my pink sleeveless see-through nipple shirt with the Pegasus and rainbow on it."
  • "AFireInside, to me, means these three other guys who drink all the soy milk backstage before I get a damn drop of it."
  • Interviewer: “I was wondering if you and Davey ever fought over a mirror backstage or something, and if so who won? And who has used the most makeup on one single night?”

Jade: “Actually, yes, that happens all the time. Finally, I was like, ‘That's it! It's time to settle this make-up contest once and for all, I challenge you to a make-out!’ Wrong choice of words.”

  • Interviewer: “Hey Jade, are the rest of the guys jealous that the entire 'Girl's Not Grey' video occurs in your crotch?”

Jade: “Hey Dave, are you jealous that the entire Girl's Not Grey video takes place in my crotch?” Davey: “No, because I'm going to take place in your crotch.” Jade: “You know, I never stopped to think that the majority of our video does indeed take place in my crotch. I must contemplate the significance of this.”

  • On what the guys would eat for their last meal:

Adam: “How pathetic is a Round Table pizza?” Nick13: “I don't know, what's on it?” Adam: “Probably just cheese and olives.” Jade: “Pathetic...” Hunter: “Sounds good.” Adam: “You know, maybe some of my mom's tabouli, but that's about it. I don't know. Coca-Cola Classic.”

  • Jade: “We don't encourage our fans to send us dead things.”

Davey: “Or alive things.”

  • Interviewer: “If you were stranded on a desert island, what one album would you want with you?”

Jade: “I'd build a lifeboat out of sand.” Davey: [looking confused] “What?!”

  • Q: “What are the most embarrassing things to happen onstage?”

Adam: “Napalm sweat dripped into my eye once and blinded me for half the set. I also poked myself in the eye with my drumstick.” Jade: “In Boise on the Rancid, tour I went to run up the wall and jump off it but my foot went straight through instead and my leg was buried in the wall up to my knee.” Adam: “That was great!” Jade: “I tried to play a blazing solo to take people’s minds off it but I don’t think it worked…” Adam: “Worked for me.”

  • Question: “So were you guys ever in Boy Scouts or anything?”

Adam: “I was a Weeblo.” Jade: “We all blow.” Davey: “I blow!” Jade: “Davey is quite a 'demon in the sack' so to speak.”

  • Jade: “People that like Ricky Martin are going to see our Latin song titles and be like, ‘Yeah, I'll buy this.’"

Hunter: “That and Dave's pants.” Davey: “Yeah, Ricky Martin's got nothing on my pants.”

  • Question: “Now that you guys probably have some nice cash, would you ever buy a mansion? Or stick with the midsized houses, like 20-30 thousand? Just asking. And cars, do you stick with the cool old cheapy's or go with the hummers?”

Jade: “I will be moving into my mansion as soon as I get back to Berkeley, it says Frigidaire on the side. It'll go well with my Porsche that says Safeway on it.”

  • Interviewer: “AFI haven't been afraid to do the odd Misfits cover in past. Do you see yourselves recording a couple of more in the future?” Jade: “Ah,...I doubt it. Ha-ha.”
  • Interviewer: “What's the weirdest question you've ever been asked?”

Jade: “I don't know, but the answer was probably ‘seven’.”

  • Fan: “Will you sign my ticket?”

Jade: “Will you sign mine?”

  • Interviewer: “What would you do if you could be a girl for a day?”

Jade: “I would stay at home and take a bath. Explore my womanly parts.”

  • Nardwar The Human Serviette: “Jade, is there any way to protect Danny's balls - oh I'm sorry, Davey's balls - when he jumps into the audience?”

Jade: “I think Donnie's balls could perhaps be protected with a cup or perhaps we could protect Darby's balls with some sort of a chastity belt device.”

  • Jade: “They look like dorks.” (When shown a picture of AFI from 1996)

Jade: “What's up with that falafel?” Smith Puget: “Super good.” Jade: “Does it taste good when it's in your mouth?” Smith: “Watch the teeth go.” Jade: “Man.” Hunter:” Did you just say ‘Watch the teeth go’?”

  • Jade: “Aww, man!!! S***! I just dropped my favorite eyeliner!”

Jade: “I just dropped my favorite earplugs on the floor, too. Interviewer: “You have favorites?” Jade: “Yeah, I just started using them like an hour ago, and I really liked them, so now they're my favorites."

  • Jade:"Holy shit, that looks frightening and intruiging and amazing and delicious. Look at the poor lonely corn dog...."
  • Bigzee: i don't know if you guys are comfortable with the term emo...

Davey: Certainly not!! Jade: I think emo is kinda a broad term meaning rock. Like punk is. Alot of bands that aren't punk are called punk.

  • "Is he in the tree? Tree snake, tree snake! Snakes on a tree."
  • "I'm on the all Nerds diet."
  • "End of the world! They stopped making my Adidas! How crushing. I'm just going to wear Wonder Bread bags on my feet now."
  • "It's never too late to start playing an instrument. I just bought a harmonica, maybe we could start a really horrible band. We'll play guitar/harmonica screamo math rock and our name will be The Butterfly's or Fairy Dust, it's up to you. Our first album will be called, "You Hurt My Feelings". In other news, chords are a group of notes played simultaneously to create a harmonized sound, tablature is a system of musical notation for people who don't read music."
  • "I used to annoy my brother when we were kids by pretending I had echolalia, which is a disease that causes people to repeat everything other people say. Smith: You're stupid. Me: You're stupid. Smith: Shut up! Me: Shut up! Smith: I'm a dumb uglyhead. Me: You're a dumb uglyhead."
  • "You could be a hit man for the Scorpions; your job is to kill people and make me macaroni and cheese."
  • "Je suis un pamplemousse. DONNEZ-MOI TOUS VOS CROISSANTS! (I am a grapefruit. GIVE ME ALL YOUR CROISSANTS!)"
  • "You should have been like NOOOOO!!!"
  • "We don't support all the cows that are making the carbon dioxide, so... exactly.
  • "I support an all candy diet!"
  • "Get off the internet and read a book!"
  • "Well, if they’re going to KaZaa or Limewire, then I’d have to say they’re really behind the times." (On people downloading Blaqk Audio songs/bonus songs illegally)
  • "I'd like to ride around in a kangaroo pouch but I hear they're filled with mucus."
  • "My version of peanut butter would be called "Mustard", and it would be yellow and tangy and taste good on corn dogs."
  • "Probably, though, I'd go back to this morning and get the croissant instead of the bagel. I totally blew it."
  • "Being born, no? Being conceived maybe? Does the i in conceived come before the e? It looks wrong. I know that it's supposed to be i before e except after c, but this one comes after TWO c's so maybe they cancel each other out."
  • On New Years resolutions: "I need to get like 34% more hyphy this year, shred 17.4% more often, use 2,000 more notes in each solo, my guitar needs to shoot flames that are at least 10 feet longer than they used to be, aaaand probably 1 more pound of lasers."
  • "Spiffy is a free loading, deadbeat kitty who sits around on my couch, watches TV all day and eats all the Triscuits."