Queen of Wands
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imaginationChristopher Isherwood
Queen of Wands is a webcomic.
- October 4, 2002 strip
- Felix: Aigh!!! Brian! Oh my God! Mister Copier and Miss Folding Machine are having all sorts of illicit non-family oriented obscene hanky panky and there are thousands of little baby paper clips orphaned over there without a home! They must be stopped, for the good of population control!
- December 19, 2002 strip
- Kestrel: I need you to remove my uterus, and thus guarantee that I do not produce any hellspawn.
- January 3, 2003 strip
- Felix: Honey! Honey! We've got cable in the bathroom now!
- January 18, 2003 strip
- Kestrel: Shannon! I broke your husband again!
- March 2, 2003 strip
- Kestrel: I kind of have a theory. People are people. They fuck up. It's human nature to fuck things up horribly. And we do, constantly. Day in, day out, it's just one fuck up after another, really. But there's this thing we do, called 'growing up' — I still haven't quite got that thing, not just yet. And this other thing we do. It's called 'forgive.' We don't know why, we just do.
- April 2, 2003 strip
- Kestrel: Hang on a second, I need to make my eyes revert to normal. Also to do the happy squirmy puppy dance.
- May 28, 2003 strip
- Shannon: It's like I'm in a Greenpeace sponsored bukkake tree porn flick, and I'm the chick tied helplessly to the chair in the center of the room being hosed down with tree semen.
- October 6, 2003 strip
- Kestrel: I firmly believe all animals should be named after sound effects.
- December 8, 2003 strip
- Girl: Mister Darwin! The stupid people are breeding and taking over the planet!
- Charles Darwin: Tut tut, little girl, don't worry! I'll take care of them with my CHAINSAW OF NATURAL SELECTION! Ahahahahahhaha!!!!!!
- March 24, 2004
- Tech Support Caller: I don't think you can help me, little lady, this is complicated. ... I don't think you heard me - you can't 'handle' THIS problem, I need to talk to a MAN. This is technical stuff.
- Kestrel: I just need you to do one teensy little thing for me here, 'KAY? OKAAAAY! So can you turn off your box for me? Walk right up to it and press the power button? GOOD! Now point your remote at it, and press 'function 317154' ... and did the little lights on the front go blinky-blinky? OOOooooo, GOODIE!
- Seamus: You're not joking, are you.
- Kestrel: As serious as a hemophiliac in a razor blade factory.
- October 22, 2004
- Kestrel: ...soooo the contents of my uterus are inversely proportional to my sanity. Good to know.