Queen of Wands

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Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination
Christopher Isherwood
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Queen of Wands is a webcomic.


October 2002

October 4, 2002 strip
Felix: Aigh!!! Brian! Oh my God! Mister Copier and Miss Folding Machine are having all sorts of illicit non-family oriented obscene hanky panky and there are thousands of little baby paper clips orphaned over there without a home! They must be stopped, for the good of population control!

December 2002

December 19, 2002 strip
Kestrel: I need you to remove my uterus, and thus guarantee that I do not produce any hellspawn.


January 2003

January 3, 2003 strip
Felix: Honey! Honey! We've got cable in the bathroom now!

January 18, 2003 strip
Kestrel: Shannon! I broke your husband again!

March 2003

March 2, 2003 strip
Kestrel: I kind of have a theory. People are people. They fuck up. It's human nature to fuck things up horribly. And we do, constantly. Day in, day out, it's just one fuck up after another, really. But there's this thing we do, called 'growing up' — I still haven't quite got that thing, not just yet. And this other thing we do. It's called 'forgive.' We don't know why, we just do.

April 2003

April 2, 2003 strip
Kestrel: Hang on a second, I need to make my eyes revert to normal. Also to do the happy squirmy puppy dance.

May 2003

May 28, 2003 strip
Shannon: It's like I'm in a Greenpeace sponsored bukkake tree porn flick, and I'm the chick tied helplessly to the chair in the center of the room being hosed down with tree semen.

October 2003

October 6, 2003 strip
Kestrel: I firmly believe all animals should be named after sound effects.

December 2003

December 8, 2003 strip
Girl: Mister Darwin! The stupid people are breeding and taking over the planet!
Charles Darwin: Tut tut, little girl, don't worry! I'll take care of them with my CHAINSAW OF NATURAL SELECTION! Ahahahahahhaha!!!!!!


March 2004

March 24, 2004
Tech Support Caller: I don't think you can help me, little lady, this is complicated. ... I don't think you heard me - you can't 'handle' THIS problem, I need to talk to a MAN. This is technical stuff.
Kestrel: I just need you to do one teensy little thing for me here, 'KAY? OKAAAAY! So can you turn off your box for me? Walk right up to it and press the power button? GOOD! Now point your remote at it, and press 'function 317154' ... and did the little lights on the front go blinky-blinky? OOOooooo, GOODIE!

June 2004

June 25, 2004
Seamus: You're not joking, are you.
Kestrel: As serious as a hemophiliac in a razor blade factory.

October 2004

October 22, 2004
Kestrel: ...soooo the contents of my uterus are inversely proportional to my sanity. Good to know.

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